


Best Part Of Me Was Always You

by KGQ



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 13:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 164,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KGQ/pseuds/KGQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when the best part of you wants more and you don't think you can give it to them? Follow Jasper's journey on how to come to terms with new changes to be made in his and Edward's lives. Can he finally mature and man up for the man he loves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I fucked up big time.

  


Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the hell! Wiggle it. Wiggle it, he says. Well I'm fucking wiggling it, and it ain't fucking working. Just pull it out gentle like, and put it in slow, he fucking says, and that's what I'm fucking doing, and it ain't fucking working. OK breathe. Wiggle it a little, and you'll be in.

God I'm sweating like a God damn bitch right now; what a crock of shit. Fuck you, Emmett, and fuck your weekend away with my fucking sister. What the hell! Son of a bitch! Here I am, giving up my fucking weekend, to come here and house sit for their sorry asses, and I can't get the fucking key in the fucking door, (have I mentioned I have no God damn filter whatsoever), well, at the best of times anyway.

I'm losing it, I cant think straight. Ha, a gay joke. Funny me. Sighing deeply to myself. I'm amazed I still have a sense off humor under the circumstances. Anyways, here I God damn am, and I'm not a happy fucking camper.  
I should be home, enjoying my weekend, for Christ's sake, I should be drinking cold beers and laughing with my close friends, 'that's if I still have any… shit.'

I should be chest deep in our hot tub, buck naked with my boy… Mmmmm… my boy, slowly moving between his beautiful long ass legs, making the fuck sure he knows how much I love and adore him. But no, I'm not. I'm here, fucking wiggling the fucking key and getting myself all pissed off...  
Because even if I weren't here, I'm still not sure if I would be spending this time with him! Cause I fucked up, and I fucked up big time… Is there really any other way to fuck up, if not big time?

I don't even know if there is an 'US' anymore. I fucked up so big another deep sigh releases from me! Doing a lot of that today, what am I turning into, a fucking girl? For Christ's sake! Is that what this has come down to, me a girl. Oh, hell no! Never! All man here, and nothing else. I might be fucking gay, but God, I'm still all man, just ask my boy if you don't believe me. He'll tell ya straight up that I'm all man through and through. He once referred to me as his ultimate wet dream 'Is he still thinking that, I wonder?.'

So here I am, blond curls sticking to my fucking head, my black jeans are stuck to my fucking legs, and my t-shirt feels like it is painted to my chest. My nipple piercings even hurt rubbing up against the wet material, Thank fuck I took off my leather jacket, or I'd be melting right about now. OK, back to the job at hand, getting into this fucking apartment without hurting myself or anything else for that matter. I hear a door open, shit, great. Now I have a fucking audience to watch me make a fucking fool of myself, fanfuckingtastic, peachy keen… Fuck, did I really just think that... shit... I am a fucking girl.

I fall back against the wall facing the door leaning over, putting my hands on my knees, just to get some air. Fuck it's hot! But it's not fucking working. I decide to glance to my right just to see who the hell is watching me, and maybe get a look at their face, just to see what the hell they're thinking. And there she is, in all her bathrobe glory, staring down the hall, watching me like I'm about to take her life, or even worse, her virtue – well that's a joke. So I give a little laugh out loud at the thought, I know what's she's thinking, What the hell is this hoodlum doing in my building? SHIT!... did I just think hoodlum! What am I, my mother? Cause fuck, really that's what I look like, a fucking hoodlum!.

Not only does she see the jeans, the jacket, and the boots, but what she's eying is the tattoo that covers my whole fucking right arm from shoulder to wrist – well she doesn't see it all, but she sees enough to make her nervous. Its dark, and to some, it looks angry, until you get up close and look carefully, then you get to see the stories my tat tells, from the reds for my passion, to the yellows off my boy's sun. Then they ask, and I tell, and they smile, because that's when they realize I'm not as bad an ass as I look; I'm just full of passion for my life and who I bring into it.

So she stares and I let her. I'm still breathing like a mad man, a really old fucking mad man, but I've decided to make her day and give her the Jasper Hale half a smile, the one my mama says gets her every time. My hand comes up to wipe the wet curls from my forehead, I glance at her through my long ass lashes, letting her see the vibrant baby blues, and then I smile… 'Just a little teeth, Jasper, not to much… just a little…' and then I kick in the dimples for good measure, and there it is the... "gasp!"... I was waiting for. 'Gets them every fucking time.'

She smiles back, pulls her robe closer to her body, wrapping it a little tighter, then closes the door. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and mentally pat myself on the back for being such a good boy. And here we go again. I straighten up and face the fucking front door, I put the God damn key back in the lock and wiggle it a little, and then I hear it, the sound I've been waiting for all morning, the click, the click that tells me I'm in, the click that tells me I did it, the click that tells me I finally made it. 'Cause I'm a fucking genius.'

Once again, I laugh out loud, giving the hall a once over, just making sure I haven't gotten myself any last minute voyeurs. When I see the coast is clear, I pick up my jacket and bag and head inside. The cool air hits me. Thank the lord for central air. Now I can breathe. A chill runs down my spine, my now very hard nipples and piercings rub against my shirt. I plop my bag and jacket down on the floor, and make my way in. I need a beer! So I head for the fridge.

The beer is cold, and I knock it back like my life depends on it, and right now it fucking does. I hear the footsteps on the hardwood first, and I look around in time to get myself hurled to the ground, hurting my ass bone in the process. 'Shit that hurt, and it's going to leave a fucking bruise, asshole!' I scream at him, but he just keeps pushing me hard to the floor. He's still on top of me – shit he's heavy, the fucking fat ass – but ya have to give him his due. He's all muscle, and downright gorgeous, with his broad chest and thick russet hair. I can't help but smile.

He looks at me weirdly. 'Fuck! He's so God damn cute.' Then the kisses start, and he has the biggest, longest, fucking tongue I have ever seen. Fuck me! I need to breathe. He needs to get the fuck off me now, so I start to push him, but he's having none of it. He just keeps pushing and kissing and pushing and kissing, then the licking… Well the fucking licking is getting too much, and he really has to get the fuck off me. So I start yelling at him, "JAKE... JAKE, stop! Get the fuck off! JAKE, get off. JAKE HEEL!" and bingo, we have lift off.

The big ass husky stops the licking and jumps aside, so I can get my sorry ass up off the floor. He's fucking huge, and my sister has a fucking nerve to call him her baby – well I guess if Rose and Emmett ever did reproduce, it just might come out looking like Jake, all big and muscle like Emmett, with beautiful thick shiny hair like my sister, so I guess Rose is right, he could be their baby, 'baby' Shit! I really have to stop thinking about this right now or I'll just drive myself crazy.

Jake is looking up at me with his big sad and sorry eyes. He knows somethings wrong. He's looking around like he's expecting someone else to walk in, and he's right, there should be someone else with me, but there's not, cause I fucked up big time. I pat his big old head, turn towards the cupboards in the kitchen, which I know hold his food, and so does he, cause the big old tail starts to wag. I guess the waiting for the someone else has slipped his mind, now that he might get food, but shit, I can't make it slip mine. I need that someone else, and I need him right now. Fuck me. Fuck my life...


	2. Forest Greens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing to do with Twilight its all SM's so I cant take any credit for her guys, they just like playing in my head from time to time...
> 
> So on to the next chapter in poor Jasper's fucked up life...

So here, we are, his sorry ass is fed and he's licking his big old chops, slobber flying everywhere. "Fucking gross, Jake, really." I wipe my jeans down and flop myself down on the couch so I can relax.

I've moved to the living room and turned on the TV, not to watch, just for some background noise. Not that you can't help watching the fucking thing. It's got to be about 50-something inches. Only Emmett would have a fucking TV the size of a house. "Better for the sports, Jazz, and there's nothing like porn in HD, Jazz. Nothing like it," he had once said with a big shit-eating grin on his face. God, Em! Sometimes I wonder the guy scares me, in the meantime, I get myself another beer. It's not as if I'm going anywhere, no driving for me this weekend, nowhere to be, no one to see. Releasing another deep sigh Shit! I'm a sorry ass dork.

If I had the balls, I'd go into the bathroom and finish this right now, but I don't, cause I can't. Not only the worry of never seeing my boy again, but the worry of Rose kicking my ass for messing up her bathroom; I don't know which thought is worse. Who am I kidding? Not seeing my boy again would ruin me altogether.

So now, I have to wreck my brain this weekend and come up with a plan to get him back, if he will ever have me again that is. Shit, I don't even know where to start. If I could just maybe talk to him for a minute, just one minute and explain myself.

But I would have to fucking know where he went to do that, and that is one thing he didn't want me to know. Or even get a chance to talk to him, but he would have to have his cell phone on for me to do that, which he doesn't. He made sure of that the minute he walked out the door, holding it to my face and hitting the off button, letting me know we wouldn't be talking until he says we can. 'Did I say. Fuck! My life Oh right! Yes! I've said that today already...'

So here I am, the big ass pussy, sitting on Emmett's couch, drinking Emmett's beer, and not a plan in sight. What to do? What to do? My mind wanders to my boy, my beautiful boy, Edward, Edward fucking Cullen, in all his redheaded glory.

I've known Edward for half my life, but I think I've loved him even longer. When I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was for me. He hasn't changed much over the years, other than being the only person on this earth to get more and more beautiful though time, if that's even possible.

We were in high school when we met. It was my first week at my new school, having to move because my Mother thought now would be the best time to divorce my douche of a Father. Shit! She could have waited until later. Maybe until Rose and I had gone to college, I do understand her reasoning, but please now when we were both only sixteen. Then Mama decided it was time for a change, and she moved us back to her hometown Forks, from ours in Texas, back to her childhood home.

Gran has since passed, but the house remained in the family, so that's where we took up our new roots, and that's where I fell in love for the first time. Hell, I knew I was gay, I think I always have, and so did my Mama and sister, but until I set eyes on Edward, I really didn't know what gay was. He made things in me stir, he made things in me sweat. God, who am I kidding, he made my whole body come alive with want and need, and he didn't even know it yet.

It was all with a smile, a fucking smile. Small and shy it might have been, but it was still a smile, from him to me, and I froze. My whole body froze, and he had seen it. He knew the reaction I was having to him, and he smirked; God damn smirked, he did. 'Shit, I'll show him. Fucker...'

He was tall and lean, built like myself, and about my height, a little over 6 foot, I would say. His pale skin, his red lips, and oh my fucking God, those green green eyes, as green as the fucking forest that surrounds the area that we now live in. Top it off with that mop of fucking fuck me side ways awesome red all over the place hair, and you got my boy, my Edward.

And from that moment forth I was his, all his, and no one else would do. And then it was over, he walked away, I blinked and I blinked again. "Oh hell to the no!" Not happening. 'He will never walk away from me again. He is mine.' So I did the only thing I, Jasper Hale, could do – I followed him, like a fucking lost puppy dog.

He was fast. It was those fucking long ass beautiful legs of his, but I had long legs too, so I kept up the pace. He had to slow from time to time to let the little pixie running beside him catch up, which she did, gently grabbing him by the arm every once and a while. Who the fuck was she to grab my boy? Shit I was jealous. Me jealous of a little pixie, what the hell. Fuck me. Fuck my life.

I followed them to the school cafeteria and watched as they plopped down at a table full of silly high-school kids, a few giggling girls and a few laughing boys. The girls I didn't give a shit about, but I kept my eyes on the boys, watching how they interacted with my boy, and him with them. But I really should have kept my eyes on the girls, cause they were all over my boy like flies on shit, and once again the jealousy bug crept its ugly looking head up, and I felt sweat gather on my forehead. Shit, this is bad, real bad.

But I kept on watching, wanting to know everything about this boy and everything about the people around him. He smiled at what they were saying and his eyes sparkled at whatever they were talking about, but he still didn't look like he was giving it his all. He still had a far away look in his eyes like he needed something more. And then he looked over, and our eyes met across the room, and fuck me sideways, there is was the smile again, the smile that now reached his green, oh so green, eyes. And there it was, the MORE, the MORE I knew he needed, and the MORE that I would always need.

I was thrown out of my big ass gay daydream, by my fucking butt of a sister sitting down beside me. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister to death, would die for her if needed, but did she really have to pick this moment to sit her ass down. And not only her, but her bigger than life boyfriend Emmett. God, only here a week, and she has a boyfriend.

The captain off the God damn football team no less, nothing small for our Rose. No, when she goes all out, she goes all out, and nothing will stand in her way. She is more of a social butterfly than me, so to speak anyway. She has it all, the height, the looks, the figure, the long blond hair and those dark baby blues. My sister, from what I'm hearing through the grapevine, has it all making her the ultimate package, and I, as her twin, am so very much like her – I just choose not to flaunt it. I am also tall and slim like her. I have chin length blond hair, that curls at the ends, and as for the baby blues, yeah, I got them too.

I'm just not as approachable as Rose. I tend to keep people at arms length until I really get to know them, and it works people seem to like it that way. Maybe its the bike I ride, or its the leather jacket, or maybe its the tattoo that I have started on my right arm that scares them.

'Fuck! I love my tattoo.'

It's not finished yet, but one day it will be, I add a little to it now and then when the feeling strikes me. It was my one and only wish for my 16th birthday. My Mama being the wonderful, understanding, open-minded woman that she is, let me get it done. But only with the understanding that if I have to dress up in a shirt and tie that others cant see it, and that is why I decided on a sleeve.

It starts around my shoulder and ends right above my wrist. Right now it holds flames, all red and blue for me, for my heart and passion for life. It also holds the Texas star for my home state, and two beautiful roses, one for my Mama, and one for my sister, in their birthstones of course entwined with vines and leather straps. I Gotta have the leather. Can't have them looking too girlie, right?

Oh, and then there's my nipple rings, lets not forget about them but please keep it to yourself Mama doesn't know about them yet. Gonna try to keep that one a secret for now, well at least until my 18th birthday. Don't want to give the old lady a heart attack just yet, do we? So anyway, that's me, in a nutshell and that's what I'm made of, and that's why people tend to stay away.

And so there I sat by myself, the way I kinda like it, until my sister and her big ass boyfriend decided to sit the hell down beside me. Fuck me. Fuck my life.


	3. Mike Fucking Newton

"Whatcha doing?" she asks.

I look at her, raise my eyebrow and say, "What the fuck's it look like I'm doing, Rose? I'm eating my fucking lunch."

"No you're not," she says, raising her oh so shapely eyebrow at me. Did I forget to mention she was also a bitch? A royal bitch at that.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're not," she replies.

"Then what the fuck am I doing, Rose? You tell me."

I see Emmett back off. He has seen this stand-off before, and he wants no part of it. I'm really getting to like this guy. He knows when to back the fuck off, and when to shut the hell up, and he loves the shit out of my sister, so for right now, he has no faults in my eyes.

She looks at me and smiles. "Oh shit, I know that look." She then looks across the room and spots him. She spots him because he has also been watching our little standoff from afar – with those wide-eyed forest greens looking our way this whole time – and she winks. 'Fucking! Winks! at my boy.' I look up just in time to see his whole face go up in flames. 'Shit! He was so adorable, and my cock thought so too, cause it chooses that moment to get the fuck hard, and I whimper. I fucking whimper, and before I can see him look away, I throw my forehead to the table and whimper some more. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life...'

I open my eyes when Jake rubs his cold ass nose to my hand that's sitting on my lap with a half empty beer in it. I notice it's gotten darker and I look at the time. Shit, time flies when you're having fun. Right yea, hell right. I get up, empty the rest of my beer down the sink, and decide to take Jake for his last walk of the evening.

The night air is still warm. Didn't really need to wear the jacket, but I didn't want any unexpected company tonight, and the leather jacket tends to keep them away – well the guys anyway – the girls not so much. I still get the looks and the whistles, but as long as they are from afar, I don't give a shit. I hate my life right now, and I hate everyone in it, well almost everyone. The thought makes me sigh deeply Shit! I really need to stop that and cut it the fuck out right now.

The night air feels good, and I close my eyes from time to time as I walk. I even take the time to sit on one of the outdoor benches and take in the summer night. This warm air reminds me of Edward, all soft and gentle. Don't get me wrong, Edward is as much a man as I am, but when he wants to be, when we are alone, and he wants to be tender and gentle, he really steps up to the plate and gives it his all, and I love that about him. He knows how to show me he loves me, and over the years he has taught me how to love deeper than I ever thought I could.

I feel his breath on my neck and a shiver runs up my spine. It's all sweet and hot just like him. I remember back to high school, and after that first day, I continued to follow him to lunch, him and the pixie, as I have grown to now know is his little sister Alice – a box of fire crackers that one is.

Anyway, I still follow him like the sorry ass puppy dog I am. I follow and I watch from my lonely table. As he interacts with his so-called friends and little sister, who is now starting to stare my way, as she has been doing for the last couple of days, with a small knowing smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes, eye's like her brother's deep forest green, and then she winks, fucking winks at me. At me, fucking Jasper Hale, and what do I do? I blush. Yes, you heard me, blush. I didn't know I knew how to do that shit, but I did, so I did the only thing I knew how, I whimpered and threw my head to the table. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life...'

Then I sense it, or do I feel it? The air is being sucked from the room an inch at a time, I try to breathe as I look up from between my now sweaty curls, and there he is in all his fucking redheaded glory, standing right by my table with a shitty ass grin on his beautiful, wonderful looking face, and I forget something, really I forget everything, then I remember what I forgot, I forgot to fucking breathe. 'God damn you, breathe!' and desperately sucking air into my lungs I do.

I sit up straight, well as straight as one can when their cock is trying to break its way out of their God damn jeans and claw across the lunch table to get to this sweet, sexy and all get out fuckhot boy, so I do the next best thing, and the only thing I know, I smile and blink, and smile and blink. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life...'

Then he holds out his hand to me. I look down at it like its going to kill me, and I look back up at my boy. 'My boy! "Well, Hale, if you want him to be anything near your boy, you better do something, and you better do something fast.' So I do I hold out my own hand and take his, and I now have this big ass shit eating grin on my face, and I know I look all too stupid, but I can't fucking help it right now, and I don't fucking care.

And that's when I feel it, the heat, the longing, and the want all at once; and I have no intentions of letting it go ever, and that's the start. From that minute on, we were inseparable. I take him back and forth to school, and he looks oh so fucking hot on the back of my bike. We eat lunch together, sometimes by ourselves, and sometimes even his friends get up the nerve to sit with us.

I'm not sure if they like me yet, not that I give a fuck. They don't have to, but it would be nice to have a few new friends, and these guys don't seem too bad. How bad could they be? Edward trusts them, so now I have to learn to trust them, and they now have to do the same to me.

But then there's Mike, Mike fucking Newton, who has done nothing but eye me the fuck up since this all started. Don't get me wrong, I give him what he's been giving me, and God knows I'm a hell of a lot better than him at it.

Until he opens his big ass fucking mouth one day, and all I want to do it put my fist right in it, "So, Jasper, how long have you known you were gay?" he says.

'Well fuck me sideways.' I think to myself, as someone somewhere chokes on whatever it is they are eating, and you could hear a fucking pin drop. And all the air is being sucked out off the room once again. 'Fuck me, fuck my life...'

My eyes open as Jake lets out a little woof, and I let out another God damn sigh. "Damn it!" So I stand, stretch and groan. "Not as young as you used to be, Hale" and let out a little laugh at my own expense, and then Jake and I finished our walk towards the apartment. "God, not as young, huh? Has it been that long really".

It seems like yesterday, but as I think back, it's been nearly 12 years. Fuck me! 12 years. Would we have ever thought it? Well, I would have, I've always known I loved Edward, and he has always told me the same, even after Mike fucking Newton outed me, which I really didn't give a shit about, cause in the closet I was not, I was just not running around telling every Tom, Dick, and fucking Harry that I liked dick.

Not that I knew that much about it at that point, other than what I seen in porn. I was out, but still had yet to experience the pleasure of another guy's lips on mine, let alone any other of their body parts, and to be honest, Edward and I had not even spoken about it, and his were the only lips and body parts I wanted near me, but up until that point, we were just close, very close.

I was hoping to get closer, and in my late night dreams and in my morning showers, we were always a lot closer, but up until now, it was all in my head. But then I remember what he did, and to me it was one of the bravest things I could ever have imagined. And up to this day, the thought still surprises me. He reaches over, covers my hand in his and looks straight at Mike fucking Newton and says, "Hopefully as long as I have," and turns to me with a big ass shit eating grin on his face. Gotta love my boy, and with that, Mike Newton got up and walked away, me now thinking Edward has lost one of his best friends. 'Fuck me. Fuck my life...'


	4. Oh My Gravy

Jake and I make it back to the apartment in record time, and this time, no fucking wiggling of the fucking key. I take it slow and easy, and it goes in first try, I think Jake is now my little lucky charm. I grin to myself as I pat his head, picturing him in a little leprechaun outfit, busting at the seams, with russet hair sticking out all over the place and a wee clay pipe in his mouth, and a top hat. And fuck that shit's funny, so I burst out laughing.

He looks up at me like I'm crazy. Fuck, maybe I am. Maybe I'm losing it in my old age. God, am I getting that old? No really? Am I? Edward's right, who am I kidding? He's always fucking right. He's just smarter at these things, and I should know by now to trust him. Isn't that all he wanted, my trust? And what the fuck did I do? I was an asshole and laughed in his face. God damn me, I'm such a fucking loser.

I turn the lights on as we enter; it's really gotten dark outside. I hear a beep, then another, and another. What the fuck, and where the hell?

I go in search of this fucking beep, but come up empty handed. Maybe it's a stupid smoke alarm, I know when the batteries run low, ours start to beep; drives Edward crazy, he is always on me to change them.

I give up, I can't do this. I can't handle this. It's been a long fucking day, and my head fucking hurts. Shit I need another beer, then I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast. "Ya know I'm a growing boy needing me some substance," so I go in hunt of the delivery menus, cause I'm certain as hell that Emmett has a few, and bam! I find them, kitchen drawer right side of the fridge. I then proceed to make the call and place my order.

Within 20 minutes, the door bell rings. I grab my wallet and head for the front door. I open it, and "oh my fucking gravy," I'm face to face with a nice big tall ass drink of water, all smiles and teeth. I gulp down the saliva that has gathered on my tongue, and try to disguise my immediate attraction to him. The man is fine, and I mean fine, then it hits me. The disgust, and the bile fills my mouth, I'm totally embarrassed, for me that is, cause I'm a total fucking loser.

I straighten myself best I can, and lower my head in shame. I know he senses it. He lets out a strangled cough and I raise my eyes. He looks confused, but still cocky. He still had a small smile, it was just a shadow of the one from before.

With a husky voice I ask, "How much," and he tells me, ending it with a wish it could be free for someone so good-looking. What the fuck? And I think I actually blushed, then got pissed, not sure if it was because of what he said, or because of the anger I felt for being such an asshole.

I raise my eyebrow at him, and give him a half smile, but don't say anything. This is not the time or place, and he is not the one I want to be with tonight, so I hand him the money for the pizza with a big enough tip to have him keep his fucking hands and thoughts to himself, plus ease my guilt for being such a fucker to the memory of Edward.

I lean over to close the door when he holds up his hand and stops it from slamming shut. I look at him, "like really?" "No really," he can't really want to play this fucking game right now. This fucker has got to be kidding me.

I now raise both my eyebrows, and give him my best what the fuck look, and all he does is fucking smile. "Really, what the fuck?"

Then he speaks, "Aren't you going to get that?" I look at him like he's crazy. What? "Aren't you going to get that?"

Once again I raise my eyebrows, and all he does is smile. "Oh, sorry, just wondering why you're not answering your emails.

"Huh?" I look at him, and then it dawn's on me. Oh shit, that's what the fucking beeping is. It's the computer telling me there's an email. I now smile shyly at him and let him know in not so many words, that that's what I intended to do or not. I close the door and lean against the back of it. I am such a fucking loser, and yeah, fuck me, and fuck my life...

I grab another beer from the fridge on the way by, and sit my ass down in-front of the TV, setting the pizza box on the coffee table. I'm not watching it, but I like the company. God, right now I need the company. Maybe I can find a baseball game as I flick through the channels.

And still the beeping, the fucking beeping. I drink my beer and eat my pizza, feeling a little sorry for Jake as he stares up at me with his big fucking sad eyes. His 200 lb ass looks all kind of starving right now. Yeah right.

So I cut him a break and throw him a slice. He runs off with it, like he's a criminal running from the cops, or he's worried that I'm going to wrestle him for it. Shit, that dog's been living with Emmett way too long. I give a little laugh at the thought of Emmett wrestling Jake for the last slice off pizza, but I can see it happen.

And then the beeping cuts through my thoughts again, and this time I have to find out what the fuck is going on, so I get up, and walk towards their office. Now that I know it's a fucking email, I know it has to be coming from the office, as that's where their God damn computer is. I'm a genius, I tell ya, a genius.

I laugh again. God I really do crack myself up sometimes. I open the office door with Jake in tow. Pizza now done and gone, he's licking his big ass lips and looking up at me like I'm crazy. "Right, Jake, I'm the crazy one," I say, smiling at him. And again, he looks up at me, with a look on his face that says, "Yeah right, dude." Talking to a dog ain't... Yeah, or else you're talking to yourself, and even I only get to pick one. Both still mean your fucking crazy." And he just might be right.

And I laugh at my own thoughts; shit I really am going crazy.

And then another beep, only way louder this time, so I move quickly to the computer, and sit myself down.

A ping of fear hits me. I don't really want to know what the hell is on Emmett's computer. The guy scares me sometimes. And God and all the world knows, he and my sister are kinky fuckers, which means they have no fucking problem expressing their so-called desire for one another even in public, for Christ's sake. So the thought of finding porn or some other crap is terrifying me right now. That would be a fuck me, fuck my life moment.

So I sit and I stare at the screen. It's flashing at the corner, and I can see the envelope, telling me there's mail, but I don't understand why Emmett would leave his email open. I'm sure the guy has a fucking password on everything he does. It's the porn, I tell ya, the porn.

So with some hesitation, I grab the mouse and move it across the screen, clicking on the envelope. It opens, and thanks to all that is holy and the little baby Jesus, the fucking beeping finally stops, and the opened email appears. I'm frozen, or is it scared? I don't really know, cause I see it's an email for Emmett, but I also see it's a fucking email from Edward, my Edward. What the fuck what to do... Fuck me. Fuck my life.

I look at the screen, and I don't know what the fuck to do. It's been a few days since I've gotten to talk to Edward. He left Wednesday night, and I haven't seen or heard from him since.

But I have known this boy long enough to give him his space. He needs to think this through, he needs to weigh his options right now. But God, just to know what he's thinking, just to know if he still loves me, just to know anything, would be fucking nice. God, I miss him so much.

I miss his smile, his eyes, his sexy as fuck hair. Fuck who am I kidding? I miss all of him - his heat, his passion, his love, and his fuckhot body that I so much want to see, to feel, to touch. God, I want to crawl in him right now and never leave, so I do the next best thing, I click on the email and I start to read. *sigh*

Yes, OK OK, I'm a fucking girl, and I don't give a fuck. I'm reading my Edward's email, and I might feel a little dirty doing it, but God, it also feels so good to see his words, to read his words. I'll take what I can get right now, so fuck me and fuck my life...

I think my heart has stopped, and I have to remember to breathe, and I can hardly read through the water that is blurring my vision, well tears, but to me it's water OK? Don't fucking judge me.

I just keep reading, and it doesn't take me long to realize that this is not his first email to Emmett over the last couple of days. It seems he has been keeping Emmett up to date on what's been happening. Emmett hasn't said a word, a fucking word, but that's Emmett. He knows you know you've done wrong, and he knows you will figure it out, and if you can't, he knows you know he will be there to help you whenever needed. Have I said lately how much I love this guy?

It doesn't take me long to realize that maybe the little shit didn't forget to close his email and password it. He knew I was coming over this weekend, and he knew the fucking beeping would drive me crazy, so I'm thinking the big guy knew what he was doing. Have to give Em his due, the big guy is a God, and the next time I see him, I'm going to make sure he knows it.

So I proceed to read the email, and this last one was really only Edward asking what was going on with him, and was he out enjoying his holiday weekend? And is that why he wasn't answering his last emails. I guess Edward forgot all about Emmett and Rose going away for the weekend, as I had myself.

That was until he called me and asked me to look after Jake. Their bog sitter had fallen through, and they had no one else to turn to. Being his boss, I knew he was going away, I had given Em the time off, but totally forgot he was taking Rose away, "to get their party on," as Em had put it. What party they were getting on, I really didn't want to know about. No pictures needed here, another fuck me, fuck my life moment...

So I try my best to get the thoughts of what Emmett is doing alone with my sister out of my head, and I continue reading Edward's emails. I get really nosy and go back on the old ones. There are a total of 3 in all, not long, but to the point. It still gives me a look into where Edward's head is right now.

I also read Em's replies, just to see what advice, if any, he is giving him. Edward has been telling Emmett that he just needed to get away for a while and think, he knows he loves me, but after the shock he got from me Wednesday, he doesn't know where our relationship is heading right now! What the fuck? What the fuck does he mean by where the hell we are heading!

I've been with this boy for 12 fucking years, he is my heart, my soul, my life, and my God damn husband. What the hell does he fucking mean where the hell we are heading! What's he want, a divorce now? Oh hell no, fuck no, not going to happen, not in this lifetime, mister!

He hasn't said this, mind you, but I am kind of reading between the lines. Maybe I shouldn't do that. I don't think it's helping right now. I have to stop for at least a minute so I can calm my ass down and not be so pissed off. I get up from the desk chair and stretch my back, with another little groan. Shit, maybe I am getting old, and another chuckle falls from my lips, 28, well 28 isn't all that old, is it?

I am on my feet most of the week. Being a bar owner, I tend to be on my feet a lot. I know, I own a bar - well, a pub really - nice place, really nice place, even if I do say so myself. Cheap drinks, cheap but good food, and live music, what more can a body ask for at the end of a hard day at work, and that's where Em comes in at the weekends. He bounces for me, not that there's a lot of crazy ass people in the town of Forks, but sometimes we get outsiders that have heard about the cheap drinks and the great music, so it can get a little out of hand.

The music is wonderful. I tend to find these great bands that just haven't made it yet, and are still willing to play for peanuts, and invite them over for a gig. Sometimes when it's slow, even Edward and I have been known to take the stage, our guitars in hand, belting out a few old songs that we love, and so happens, so do the clientele. It all works out, and it has for last 4 years.

Edward, well he's a completely different story. Since high school, he's always wanted to be a doctor. He's always been smart enough. God, not only was my boy beautiful, he was smart. I was just as amazed by his mind as I was by his body.

So as I went to college to get my degree in business management, and used the knowledge to open the pub, Edward went to medical school, and has finally, after all these years, become a doctor, and a real fucking good one at that. He works at the local hospital in town - not too busy, but just busy enough to keep him interested and loving his job. It takes up a lot of our time together, but it makes it more worthwhile when the time comes that we finally are, like this fucking weekend. This was supposed to be one of those times. Fuck me. Fuck my life...

It's becoming too much for me. My chest hurts, as does my head. I want to talk to Edward. I want to start this all over again. I need to give him a chance to explain. I need us to discuss our options, and I want him to tell me how he expects his cockamamie plan to work. Well, I won't say fucking cockamamie, cause that will just set him off again.

Now God knows it takes a lot to set Edward off, but me being me has done this way too many times for me to count. I'm done fucking up. I'm done second guessing myself. I'm done second guessing us, and I guess that's what it fucking looked like to Edward, I was second guessing us, and that's what really set Edward off, my lack of faith in us as husbands, as a couple, as partners. Shit, no wonder he ran. I gave him every fucking reason to.

So I decide it's time to get myself another cold beer, and then I'll get back to the task at hand. In the meantime, he must have sent another email, cause its beeping like crazy when I return, I open this one, a little more nervous. My hands are sweating, and I have to wipe them on my jeans before I put my fingers on the keys. Shit, I haven't been this nervous since the first time I kissed Edward.

Wow, shit, wow. Thinking back, it's been 12 years, nearly 12 God damn years, and it still puts a smile on my face. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was so amazing, and sweet, and oh so fucking sexy as all get out. Fuck I miss my boy. I wouldn't mind having those hot red lips on mine right now.

I think back, and it still amazes me how clear everything seems to be in my mind, all the smells and colors are coming back, and once again we are 16 and sitting in Edward's bedroom playing video games, well at least one off us is, cause I'm kicking his ass as usual, and he's getting pissed. Well he's pretending to get pissed; he really doesn't give a shit, he just likes to hang out with me, and I know it, and he knows I know it, and he really doesn't give a shit, and I love him just a little more because of it.

And then it happens, he is now bored, and has moved to the foot of the bed with his back to it, and I find myself playing the fucking game alone, until I hear him, knowing there's a fucking smile on his sexy as fuck face, "Jasper..." I don't say anything. I'm waiting. "Jasper," he says again, and once again, I say nothing, now not wanting to know where this is going, cause I have a feeling it can't be good. "Jasssssssssssssper."

So I turn to look at him, and he's smiling. "What, Edward!" I yell, letting him think I'm pissed, as I see his sexy as fuck smile get bigger. There's a sparkle in his eyes, and now it's his turn to say nothing "What, Edward? What is it you want?" I yell again.

"I want to talk."

I raise my eyebrow at him now. Shit this don't sound any fucking good. "Talk? Talk about what, Edward?" His eyes look down towards his feet, and he finds something on the toes of his sneakers that's all of a sudden more interesting than what he just wanted to say.

"Edwwwwwwwwwwwwwward," I say, following his lead.

And he suddenly looks up, our eyes meet, and I swear I see something and I can't explain. It's full of love and wonder, and the promise of hope, and I want that. I want some hope, but I'm still waiting, and I wait. It's Edward, he needs to think and then rethink, that's just how he is, so I wait, and wait again, until his time is up. And I guess his time is up, cause he looks up and says, "I want to talk about what Mike Newton said." Fuck I knew this wasn't good. Fuck me. Fuck my life...

"Fuck!" I say as I stand, getting ready to leave, giving the room a quick once over, making sure I don't leave anything behind. Wouldn't want to have to come back, now that Edward doesn't want anything to do with his good for nothing, sorry ass gay friend. And I can't look at him. I'm just rushing around like a fucking crazy person, and with a move faster than I could ever think possible, Edward is by my side, his hands on my arm. I look down first, then up to his beautiful face. I don't really want to do this. I really don't want to see what I think I might find, but I hate my life at this moment; I might as well hate it a little bit more by looking at my beautiful boy's face for the very last time.

I'm shocked, and I can't breathe. My skin feels clammy. I keep having to wipe my sweaty hands on the butt off my jeans. I look up, trying to forge my anger, but it's not what I expect, there's no hate or disgust, just understanding, and acceptance. Crap I think I'm in shock.

Once again he speaks, so low I can't make it out, and I have to ask him to repeat himself. "I want to talk to you about what Mike Newton said, cause I want to know how we move on from here."

I shake my head just to clear my thoughts, and look at him again, "Move from here, Edward!" I yell. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He smiles small, and his lips are tight, all of a sudden shy. His eyes are soft and sad, and my heart stammers a few beats until I catch my breath again. He looks like I hurt his feelings, and I don't understand what the hell's going on, and why I'm still so fucking nervous.

I'm still trying to figure out what he said; I can't get my brain to wrap around it and function. It feels like it's made of goo or slime or that silly putty shit the kids use in kindergarten. I still have my eyes on him. I'm scared if I look away, he'll vanish, and I'll be having no part of that. I need this boy in my life like I need air to breathe, and food to sustain me. He's vital to my very existence.

I smile, trying to reassure him that I will not fly off the handle and lose my cool, and in return, Edward gives me the sexiest, hottest, most beautiful smile I have ever seen, and this time it reached his eyes. I can't help myself, I sigh, and that's when he leans in and I freeze, fucking freeze, then turn towards the door... Fuck me. Fuck my life...

My hand is on the door knob now, my back is to him. Once again he says my name, so low, so caring, and with so much affection, I feel my heart stop. "Jayyyyyyyyyy Pleeeeeease..." So what do I do? I freeze again. God I really gotta grow a fucking pair.

I hear him again - or do I sense him? But all at once, he is behind me, right behind me, so close I feel his breath on my neck.

It's oh so wonderful - so hot - and I can smell the sweetness that is Edward. Once again, his hands are on me. I feel it through my shirt. They're on my back, and I shudder.

A shiver runs down my spine, and fuck, once again my cock, the little "well not so little" fucker that he is, decides to come to life. He knows. He fucking knows; and seems to fucking want this - just as much as I do - but shit, does he have to pick this God damn minute to do it? Give me a fucking break, will ya? Let me think. I gotta think, but I fucking can't right now.

I turn slowly. My eyes are not able to look at him, I'm so God damn nervous. His hand is under my chin and he lifts my eyes; and God it's there: all I want, all I need, all I can't live without. He speaks again, the words I still don't want to hear, "I really want to talk to you about what Mike Newton said." I look down, and he says my name so softly, "Jay, please." He comes just a little closer, and now his breath is on my face, and the warmth and sweetness is so exhilarating and overpowering, I think I just might pass the fuck out.

He continues, "I want to know where we go from here, cause this," pointing a finger and swinging it between himself and me, "this between us, this thing I feel, this thing I want - whatever this is - I want this with you, and I hope you want this with me." And once again, he stabs his and my chest with his pointer finger just to emphasize what he means, hoping I get his drift.

Looking at him, he's not as happy as I thought he should be at this moment, then I realize he's gauging my emotions, and I guess I'm in shock, so much so that my face is blank and I look like a fucking deer in headlights.

I have to breathe. Really, I'd rather run, but I can't do that. I can't run anymore. I want this, I want him, and I want this with him.

I can't believe he feels the same, Fuck me.Edward wants me, I have to replay it in my head. Shit, Edward really really fucking wants this. I lean forward slowly, so fucking slow its painful, but I can't get myself to move any faster.

His sweetness smells so much better the closer I get, it's intoxicating and all consuming. The back of my throat burns with desire for this boy, and my mouth turns dry with anticipation. I long to taste the flavor which is him, and it's making my whole body tremble. I swear, every now and then my heart skips a beat.

I lick my lips and bring my hand to the back of his neck. I feel Edward's breath hitch like he's trying to control his emotions. My other lands softly on his hip, with which I get to pull him just that little closer to me. He sighs - a soft sigh, a sweet sigh, but still a sigh. I open my eyes a little, peering through my lashes at Edward.

Needing to gauge his reaction, all I see is bliss, pure fucking bliss. His skin is tinted the slightest color of pink, and the kiss is making him pant softly, and oh so sexy. His beautiful long lashes are fluttering from time to time, not knowing if to sneak a peek at me or to just give in to the smoldering hotness of our very first kiss. I tug at the hair at the nape of his neck, just to let him know I understand, and what does he do? He moans - fucking moans - loud and deep, right from his chest. And it spills into my mouth and dances on my tongue, and fuck me, I nearly explode. The fireworks are going off, there's a 21 gun salute, and fucking Elvis has left the fucking building, and all I see is him - only him - and there's no going back from here, not that I would ever want to. Fuck me. I love my life...


	5. Best Part Of Me

I open my eyes, and my hands are still on the keys - and shit - still sweating. So I repeat the wipe on my jeans and take a long drink from my beer. "OK, Hale, head in the game. Keep your head in the game, man."

I will have to keep my head on straight if I'm going to fix this, put myself in Edward's shoes at some point. Edward is a very gentle soul, but also very smart and articulate - he thinks things through very thoroughly, and never approaches anything half heartedly. It's all or nothing with him, which makes his job at keeping me grounded look effortless.

That's why it works for us. He's the strong silent type, pure strength and fortitude, whereas I'm the bad ass, bold, cocky and now confident.

He says that's his favorite part of us, that we complement each other. (Did I happen to mention he's a romantic at heart?) Sometimes when he's feeling melancholy, he'll reach across to find me, any part, he's not particular, could be a hand, an arm, even my thigh, and sometimes he will cup my face in his hands and say the word's I love to hear and will never tire of, "Jaaaay, Jasper, Jaspeeeeeeeeeeer," taking me back to our teenage days, putting a smile on my face. And with a matching smile on his lips, he continues, "Baby! "The Best Part Of Me Is Always You."

I can't count how many times we've recited that phase to one another over the years. I think that's what led Edward to his current line of thinking, and has us in this somewhat fragile predicament. Fuck, I really have to fix this shit.

Once again, I look at the screen. Edward told Emmett he needs a few days to think, but not what he needs to think about or why he left, "thank fuck."

Not sure if I want Emmett's take on this whole situation. That's another scary thought, Emmett having to make a fucking mature decision about something that doesn't revolve around football, food, or sex. Know what, who the fuck am I to be dissing Emmett for being immature? God, if there was a fucking medal given out, I think I'd be at the front of the line right now.

He's telling Emmett that he still loves me, but he doesn't know if that's enough to get us through this. He said he was under the impression that we were moving forward, that we were growing as a couple, but he has come to the conclusion after Wednesday that maybe we're not.

God, why the fuck do I have to be such a dickhead? All my boy wants and is thinking about is our future, and all I seem to be able to do is screw this the fuck up.

I'm thinking it's time to get up the nerve to answer his email. I straighten myself in the seat, and bring my once again sweaty fingers to the keys. Fuck me, I feel like I'm entering the fucking twilight zone. Maybe I am. I do have to pretend to be Emmett, and that thought alone scares the crap out of me, but I move on. I have to. I have to do this for me. I have to do this for us.

So I start typing, asking him if he's able to tell me what we fought about?

I ask him if its something he thinks he really can't get over?

And I ask him if he can really live without me in his life? And if its worth all we've been through and shared, to risk it and walk away. I hit the send button. Fuck!

Shit I need a fucking beer.

Rubbing my face with the palms of my hands, I try to keep some of this tiredness at bay. I head for the kitchen, but not without another old ass stretch, and another chuckle. Shit, Edward's right, we're getting fucking older, and maybe it is time to act our fucking ages and grow the fuck up - his words not mine. Yeah, he has a tendency to use the 'FUCK' word! A lot...

On my way to the kitchen, I throw off my boots and socks, liking the feel of the cold hardwood floors under my bare feet. I need the coolness to wake me up a little. It's been a fucking long ass day.

I hear a noise and look over to see Jake asleep on the floor in front of the TV. Raising his head, he gives me another one of his 'you're crazy, man' looks, and I smile down at him, cause this time I agree. I bend to give his big old head a rub on the way back, my beer in hand.

I hear the beeping, so I know he's replied. I get a tight feeling in my stomach - you know the one, the one that makes every hair on your body stand on end with anticipation, then makes you want to puke your guts up at the same time, yeah that one. Well, that's what I'm feeling.

But I find the balls to sit my ass back down in front of the computer and hit the envelope.

It starts with Edward telling Em that he can't and won't say why we fought. Well thank fuck for little mercies, I think to myself. He continues saying that, for one, it's not his story alone to tell, and two, even through we are all family, he can't find it in him to break his husband's trust and talk that way behind his back.

Explaining that, whatever this all is, and in whatever direction it leads us, we will figure that part out ourselves, and we will have to deal with it as best we can when the time comes; or maybe even move on.

My heart stopped - really fucking stopped - and I couldn't breathe. I had to lean back in the chair and close my eyes for a second, just to get a fucking hold of myself. My chest hurts. It feels like Jake is still lying across it, and at any moment, the weight could collapse on me, causing my fucking spine to snap.

This can't be fucking happening right now. It wasn't supposed to go like this. What the fuck is wrong with us? Why does it feel like we're falling apart? My breath is labored and my eyes sting like fuck. I really want to punch a fucking wall right now, I'm so pissed. I need to get control of myself and this fucking situation.

So I raise my head, allowing my dazed and lifeless eyes to glance at the screen again, bracing myself for what's to come.

Answering the question if he was willing to walk away from our lives together, Edward tells Emmett how much I mean to him, and how much he loves me; that he has always loved and cherished me with everything he has.

He goes on to say fighting brought out the worst in us both, and even though it would be a life changing decision, he thought we were strong enough to withstand it. He knew before he brought it up that it would be hard for me; he just didn't realize how fucking hard.

He continued to explain to Em that he had thought long and hard regarding this decision, that he had scrutinized all our opinions and had weighed all the pros and cons, dotting all his I's and crossing all his T's before he even approached me on the subject.

Knowing Edward, that's exactly what he did. Since we've been married -who the fuck am I kidding, soon after we started dating - Edward started making the decisions regarding our lives, and relationship; and up until now, I never had a problem letting him.

Don't get me wrong. He never did it in a controlling or a manipulative way. He was just always so much fucking better at it than me, and I was way too hot headed and stubborn to make a fucking decision to save my life, so I was willing to let him take the reins.

Pulling myself up to a straighter sitting position, noticing I was starting to slump over the keyboard, the pain in my neck and shoulders burning with the anxiety and stress of the hours that have passed.

I really fucked this the hell up. Edward wanted to sit and talk, maybe take the weekend and relax and discuss this, but I jumped off the handle, yelling at him about the things this might change, and that I didn't know if I was ready for this. Not us - just me. God I'm such a selfish bastard sometimes.

I questioned Edward's judgment and his fucking sanity. Shit that pissed him off for real. The look in his eyes at that moment broke my heart; but me being the bastard that I am, I continued to bombard him with negative accusations. He says I made him feel like an idiot, and that I treated him like a fucking child.

I'm such a fucking moron.

I remember him trying to reassure me, trying to make me feel confident about the whole situation, but I just wouldn't fucking listen to him. I wouldn't give him a God damn minute to explain. He was trying to tell me that we could do this, that we were a strong and loving couple, reaching out his arms to me, gesturing that we should hold each other, and all I could do was push him away.

He tried to tell me that this was the next step in our lives together, that our future would look nothing but brighter and be happier for it. And what do I fucking do? I laughed. I laughed right in his fucking sweet and sexy as fuck face. He had tears in his ever-green eyes, and I did nothing but laugh at him - not a belly laugh but one of those sarcastic evil laughs like a fucking mad man. Shit I'm an asshole. I don't know why he ever fucking loved me in the fist place. Fuck me. Fuck my life...

He went on to explain to Emmett that all my yelling and hyperventilating caused him to reconsider, and my immaturity regarding the whole situation was really tearing at his heart. But he was hoping this time apart would give us both some time to reconsider where we stand.

Shit I'm such a fucking idiot - not Edward. I'm so immature - not Emmett. Why would I do that. What was I thinking? I'm such a fucking moron.

I look at the clock, and realize how late it's gotten, and I figure I really should get some sleep. I type a quick response to Edward, saying that Rose needed me, and that I would give his email some thought, and hopefully have an answer to all this in the morning, and not to worry. Between himself and Edward, they would create world peace and end world hunger (cause Emmett would do that just to lighten this shit! ). So, once again, I close the email with a *sigh* - yes, another fucking *sigh* - and get up from the desk. It's really been a long ass fucking day,

I forgo tonight's shower and just slip out off my jeans and t-shirt and slip under the covers of the bed in the spare room. It's cold and crisp, and my body relaxes into it. The bed's a little smaller than what I'm used to, but it will do for a couple of nights. I smile to myself. It kind of reminds me off Edwards old bed. Oh, Edwards old bed, now that's a thought.

Edward's bed was small compared to the one we share now, but oh my God, what the hell we were able to do in that bed! And now I have to laugh to myself cause of the thoughts that flood my now tired mind. Thinking of Edward's small ass bed and two grown boys with nothing but lust, loins and want to egg them on, plus nothing but raging hormones ta-boot. God it was amazing, the things we got up to in that little ass bed! I throw my head back down on the pillow, and close my eyes, but they blink back open, and I realize sleep is not going to come easily.

I lift my arms and plant them behind my head and stare up at the ceiling. Edward's bed... Edward's God ass small bed. And Edward and me all legs, arms, mouths, and tongues, all wanton and lustful and that little small as bed... I can't help but laugh again to myself. God I loved that bed. I really loved that bed and that boy. Fuck me. Fuck my life...

I can't fucking sleep. I'm tossing and turning. My mind won't stop, and the memories from that little bed come flooding back. The kiss - that fucking kiss - was getting the better of me as I pulled him close. And I could feel nothing but the heat radiating off the both of us, my arm now around his waist and his on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him.

I did the only thing I could, I reached behind me and locked the door of Edward's room. I pushed his ass backward until he hit the bed. I pushed myself with him, so when we fell, I ended up laying beside him to his right, not sure if putting my weight on him would hurt at this moment. Our hands and lips never left each other, and God, he felt so good pressed against me right now.

I needed to breathe, but I couldn't find the strength in me to stop kissing him. It felt so fucking good. The noises this boy makes go straight to my already hard as fuck aching cock, and I can't think. It feels so fucking hot, and really, God,* I don't want to stop. But I have to. We need air, and we need it now. I pull back and open my eyes for the second time since our lips locked, and I hope to God he sees what I see as he looks up at me, cause all I see are his forest greens, all wet and glassy with determination and wantonness.

I smile down at him, and he gives me this fuckhot little shy ass smile back. God, my heart melts and I have to kiss him again, but this time its harder its stronger. My body is starting to overheat, and I can feel myself hyperventilate as the sweat runs down my back, but I really don't give a shit right now, cause I'm where I want to be. I'm where I should be. I'm where I belong, in the arms of my boy.

My hands are everywhere. I can't get enough of him. I feel his chest through his shirt, and it feels so strong and so smooth. I slide up to his neck as my hand gets to touch the skin right under his jaw. My breath hitches, cause I can't believe my guy can feel so wonderful.

My fingers reach up and grab his sexy as fuck hair, and it's so silky and soft, and I find myself needing to pull on it, and when I do, he lets out the most amazing fucking groan I have ever heard. 'Oh my gravy.' I need to hear that again and again, so I pull just to make sure, and there it is that fucking groan, and now the little guy has decided he wants to get in on the action, and decided at that moment to get even harder. 'Fuck!' as if he really could, but he is stepping up to the plate and giving it his all.

Then Edward gets the great idea to follow my lead, and slips his fingers from my neck up into my hair and pulls - and the fucker pulls hard. I feel it first in my toes, then it runs up my legs over my dick through my belly and comes out my mouth in a really loud, raspy, heavy, groan that shocks the shit out of me.

I pull back from Edward cause I feel the flush reach my face. He's smiling up at me like a fucking mad man. He pushes his lips together and lets out a long 'Mmmmmmm...' and says, "Again, Jasper. Again." Shit don't have to ask me twice. Grabbing me by the back of my hair and pulling again, I moan once more, and he smiles into our kiss...Fucker.

I take this opportunity to roll over on top of him, cause this is getting to be too damn much, and I need to feel him, all off him. And God damn it, I need to feel him now. I oh so slowly roll myself on to him, and I lay the weight of my body down onto his. And oh my fucking God if it don't feel just right. I am now trembling from head to toe, and I think I'm going to hyperventilate. I'm really fucking nervous, but under me, I feel Edward's body have the same reaction as mine, and he is trembling also.

I've got to calm my nervousness, knowing this is just as new to him as it is to me. And I push forward. I push so fucking hard, my dick rubs against his. And oh my fuck, I freeze, cause shit, that shit's outstanding, and I think I'm going to cum like right now, this second. I open my eyes and look down at Edward, who has also frozen.

Then once again, he smiles, and jerks his body up to meet mine, and rubs our dicks together one more time. Both off us let out a deep, loud, heavy, moan, and press our bodies even closer, if that's possible. Then the train wreck begins. Desperately and frantically, our hormones take over, and it's like fucking white water rafting. Everything is hyper and rushing. Deep, red hot blood is finding its way to body parts I didn't even know I had. Every nerve ending is tingling, and the tips of my fingers and toes feel numb. Shit, I don't think I ever want to stop.

Until I feel his hands on my chest, and my name on his lips... He pushes me off him, both his hands are on my chest now. I pull up and look down. His face is all flushed. His eyes are glossy and his lips are as red as the blood that now runs through my veins for him and only him. They are so swollen that I have to reach down and lick them, hoping I can ease their sting. Shit he tastes so fucking good. Then once again, he pushes me to get my attention, I look at him like he's crazy, and when the words leave his mouth, I swear he is. I think I want to die. "Jasper, no. Jasper, Stop!"

Fuck! Has he re-thought this? Fuck me. Fuck my life.


	6. Butter My Butt

I pull back, surely with a look of total shame and disgust on my face. I'm about to have my ass kicked to the curb, and I don't know how to hide my emotions right now.  
My chest hurts and I'm breathing unstably. My eyes are stinging like a God damn motherfucker.

I look down at Edward, who still has his hands on my chest, and I stare in confusion. Didn't he just say stop? Didn't he just say no? Then why is my boy smiling - not only smiling - but (As I stare, I can't help thinking he's the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, even in my moment of doubt, my mind tells me there will no other.) his chest is heaving as his luscious red lips are parted and short breaths gust from his lungs. His long ass legs are spread down each side of my thighs.

I stare at his lap - fuck I can't help it - cause his oh so prominent, long and hard as fuck cock is trying to escape its denim clad prison. And all I can do is stare, as I now sit back on my heels and gaze at him with uncertainty and lust.

He leans himself up on his elbows, then with the greatest of ease, wraps those long ass legs around my waist, hooking his feet behind my ass at his ankles.

He pushes himself up towards me and wraps his arms around my back, hooking himself to me by grabbing my shoulders.

I don't know what to do at this point, I'm still so fucking confused. My arms are still laying limp by my sides, then he looks up all shy and hesitant, but with so much emotion, my belly flips, and I feel light headed, causing me to bring my arms up to wrap around Edward's shoulders.

He's now eye level with my chest, and takes this opportunity to place an oh so tender kiss right above my heart, and I sigh.

His hands are back on my chest again, and I feel the pads of his thumbs rub against both my nipples. I can't help myself, I let out a low growl, and my head falls back.

As I lift my head up and look down, all I see are his forest greens looking up at me, all warm and wanton. He smiles and rubs again, this time saying, "What's this, Jassssssssper?"

I can't fucking help myself, I'm going to fucking explode! He's such a little ass fucking tease… Fucker.

I grab his face with one hand and attack his fucking lips so hard and passionately. And when I need to breathe, I lean back and smile at him. "Wanna see Edwwwwwwward?" And oh my fucking gravy, his eyes go black and I think his heart skips a beat.

"Fuck yeah," he pants out, eagerly grabbing me by the hem of my shirt and lifting upwards. I raise my arms to help him, but he's so fucking eager, he nearly knocks us both on our asses. I let out a hearty laugh at my eager boy, and he chuckles.

Now my chest is bare and the cool air - or the fucking anticipation of him touching me - makes my nipples harder than I could ever imagine.

Once again he rubs the pads of his thumbs over the pebbled piercing, and I purr - I fucking purr like a cat - and my head falls to his shoulder. My body is trembling as his hot lips are now on my neck softly sucking the skin below my ear, and my eyes are shut so fucking tight, I'm hurting my eyeballs trying to keep my emotions under control. But fuck that all goes to shit when I decide and open my eyes slowly, with Edwards lap being my only view. All I can see is the waistband of his jeans and oh my fucking gravy, there it is. I shut my eyes again just to catch my breath, then I oh so slowly reopen them, and there it is again, the head off his fucking hard as hell cock protruding from the band off his jeans, all hard and shiny, and I think I cum. I don't, but I think it - well maybe a little.

God it looks so good, I want to touch, it looks so tasty I want to lick, my tongue leaves my dry ass mouth and licks my lips in anticipation and I have to gulp down the saliva gathering at the back of my throat. Fuck me this is all too much right now.

I take a gulp of air into my lungs and straighten myself slowly. I then grab the hem of Edward's shirt and rip it from his God damn body like it was burning me to touch the fucking thing. Edward laughs and lays himself back onto the bed, still keeping his long ass legs wrapped around my waist.

His smooth hands are rubbing up and down my arms, tracing my tattoo as his eyes penetrate me, looking straight into my soul. I lower myself to him, and his fingers roam up my arms across my shoulders and find their way into my hair, and then he pulls me forward down to him, and our lips lock once again, so tenderly and passionately I think I'm going to God damn cry. Hold it together Hale, hold it together, I chant to myself, trying to make sure I have downloaded this experience to memory, cause if I never ever get to do this again, I fucking want to make sure I remember every God damn detail for my morning showers and late night masturbation sessions.

We groan deep in our chests as once again we feel are cocks rub together through our jeans. I lean back a little, reaching my hand down, palming him above his denim, feeling his heat radiate from under the offensive material? He fucking whimpers into my mouth, and my body starts to tremble and tingle with utter need for this boy. Now that I've seen the promised land, I so fucking want to taste and touch it. It looked oh so delectable and delicious. But as fast as the thought came to me, it leaves. Am I able? Do I know what I'm doing?

Shit! I've seen it in porn, but this is it! This is real life. What if I fuck up?

Edward takes me out of my musing quickly by pulling back a little. I look at him, asking with my eyes: Is he OK? Is this OK?

He replies with a small nod and a sparkle in his eyes. But when I lean down to continue my assault on his mouth, he places a finger on my lips, stopping me in my actions.

I look at him, slightly tilting my head to the side letting him know an explanation is needed. He closes his eyes and sighs softly, then without looking at me, he says, "How many?"

I don't say a word, cause I don't understand. I just keep staring at him.

he opens his eyes slightly, and I see sadness that breaks my heart. My hand flies up and cups his cheek as I ask, "What, hon?" trying to sound confident.

"How many boys, have you had?" and I see his bottom lip quiver a little.

I back up a bit and stare down at him, contemplating what to say. My head tells me to be 'cocky Jasper' and lie, saying lots - too many to count - but my heart tells me that nothing good would come out of it. So I lean into Edward, putting my now sweaty forehead to his sweaty forehead and sigh, taking a deep breath and releasing it through my nose. I open my eyes and look at him - my boy so beautiful and strong! I can't lie! "None, Edward. None. And there will be no others. Only you".

And God does my heart break a little more, cause the boy looks so elated, and triumphant - like he was holding his breath, expecting disappointment, and suddenly found none. And once again, I smile down at him.

He kisses me hard, pulling on my hair even harder, trying to dominate my mouth with his tongue, like he wants to possess every living part of me. And his hips buck up, rubbing his hard dick against my own. And fuck do we groan. I feel the sweat run down the side of my head, and my hair is sticking to me.

He speaks into my mouth, "Jasper," and I kiss him harder. Once again I hear "Jassssssssssper..." I start to smile into the kiss, knowing this has got to be good. I lean back, kissing his lips and nose one last time and look down at him.

The boy is flushed and sweaty, but oh so fucking sexy; and I can't help myself but smile at him as he stares at me. "Yes?"

He blinks, and once again the eyes are fucking black, "Yes, Edwwwwwwwwwwwward?" Again smiling like a fucking fool, he blinks and takes a deep breath, looking up at me with all his beauty. He opens his lovely red as cherry lips and says, "Take me."

Well butter my butt and call me biscuit. Did I just fucking hear him right? I lean up on my forearms and stare into his face. "Excuse me, Edward?"

"I want you to make love to me Jasper, please."

My fucking belly flips and my heart stops all at the same time, and I feel the air being sucked out of the room. What the fuck? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

This boy is giving me my fantasy and is fulfilling every fucking wet dream I have ever had of him up until this point, and God damn it, all I can do is freeze. Fuck me. Fuck my life.

I close my eyes to control myself and breathe deeply. Then I reopen them and look at him. Once again, there's a sad fucking look on his face and a tear rolls down his cheek, hitting the pillow behind his head. "Don't you want me, Jasper? Don't you want me that way?" And again his bottom lip quivers. God damn me, I'm an idiot.

I reach up and touch his face. It's so soft and flushed that I have to kiss the tip of his nose again. Then I proceed, "Baby" I sigh at my term of endearment. "Baby, I want nothing more than to make love to you right now, but we might be moving too fast for that, and it scares me. We need to rein this in and take things just a little slower before we get to that point. Plus, I don't think we have the necessary means to accomplish that task at this moment, and I sure as hell know that saliva ain't gonna cut it. When I do make love to you, I want it to be slow, steady, and passionate. And to do that, we have some purchases to make first..." And I smile.

He smiles at me in understanding, and I let out a sigh of relief, pleased with myself. I think I handled that quite well.

We kiss tenderly, the elephant in the room being brought to the foreground and expelled from this experience, bringing us back to being just together like this. "How long till your parents get home'" I ask with a wink, looking at the clock.

"A few more hours. Why?

"Shower with me." I smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, really, Edward. We're sticky and sweaty, and the air is thick in this room. You need to crack a window, unless you really want your parents to know what you've been up to," I say with a smirk.

He smiles up at me, unwrapping himself, and cracks a window. Returning to the bed, he leans in, kissing my lips, and says, "Hell yeah, let's go."

As I enter the bathroom, he already has the water running. He's unzipping his jeans, and I feel a lump at the back of my throat. I swallow hard, and proceed to undo my own. Jasper, what the fuck were you thinking nice try on taking this slow.

Within seconds, we are standing buck naked in front of one another, and I can't help but stare. He's so fucking beautiful, and I've never wanted anyone as much as I want him right now. He is also staring, and I see his anticipation. He's finding it hard to swallow, and takes in large gulps of air, so I move forward and touch his face. He shivers, so I pull him close and we both shiver. Fuck.

He opens the shower door and steps in, still holding my trembling hand, so I follow him. God the water feels good, and I revel in the steam and heat that is relaxing my bones and easing my nerves.

He has his back to me, and the hot water is running down his glorious back, cascading where his hips meet his butt cheeks, and once again I swallow hard. He looks so delicious. He turns his attention to me, smiling, holding his head back, letting the water run through his hair. His hands come up to run his fingers through it, and his eyes are closed, giving himself a minute to wallow in the hot water and steam.

I take this opportunity to look down at his cock. It's semi-hard, and I oh so want to touch it, so I do. His eyes spring open and his hands go to my shoulders, trying to steady himself as he lets out a small gasp. He moves closer, and my name falls from his lips, "Fuck, Jasper" is all he can manage. Now it's my turn to smile.

I release him, and he whimpers, so I lay an attentive kiss right on his forehead as I grab his shampoo, holding it up so he can see it. He looks confused while he watches me pour some onto the palm of my hand, then when I reach down to wrap my long fingers around him again, the look of understanding now crosses his beautiful, elated face, and I smirk at him, his arms now around my neck and his body pressed against me.

I move slowly and steadily, trying to remember how I would like this done to me. His face is in my neck now, and he's whimpering and gasping at all the right moments, and my body can't help but respond. My cock's getting oh so fucking hard, and pressing against my fingers as I stroke Edward. I pull back a little, not sure of what I'm doing, so I have to look. He whimpers again, and I smile to reassure him that I'm not stopping. I get the shampoo again, and pour a little more into my hands, rubbing them together between us. Then I reach down and grab Edward once more and again he says my name, "Fuck Jasper."

Now he moves a little closer, which is exactly what I need, cause not only do I wrap my fingers around Edward.s cock, but I also grab my own, holding them both together with one hand and stroking slowly. And with that, we both speak in unison, "Fuck."

Shit this feels so good, and I really don't know how long I'm going to last. We are now kissing like our lives depended on it, and I can't get enough of him. My lips are on his lips, his face, his neck, and he tastes so fucking awesome right now. I keep pumping and pulling, and I hope to God I'm doing this right. I think I am, cause Edward's making all these delicious noises and is biting down on my shoulder. It hurts a little, but right now I don't give a fuck.

He pushes into me harder, and I feel I'm coming undone. I wrap my arm around his back and cup his ass cheek with my hand. It feels so soft and smooth, and I can feel his muscles tense under my fingertips. My soapy hand moves slowly towards the crack of his ass. As I run my fingers down it, oh my fucking God, he moans louder than I've ever heard, and I know it could be the acoustics of the bathroom, but I'm oh so fucking God hoping it's my hands on him that are causing this reaction and loud moans.

His lips are on my neck and he's sucking hard at my skin. He pulls back a little, gasping for air, as he says, "More, Jasper. More please." He doesn't have to ask me twice, I kiss him hard with all I have, trying to show him how much this all means to me. As I slip my finger between his cheeks and find his puckered entrance, the tip of my finger teases it, and I feel his body tense.

I kiss and pump him a little harder to distract him, and oh God, it works. I'm able to push forward down to the first knuckle, and I have to remember to God damn breathe. I'm feeling so light headed and my stomach is flipping like a fucking pancake right now, but I move forward and press on until I get in a little deeper. I don't know what to do, so I press in and pull out in time with stroking his cock.

I bend my finger a little, as much as I can in such a tight - oh so tight – space, and "bingo." By George I've got it. I hit his sweet spot, and fuck me and the horse I rode in on, the flood gates opened and everything happened at once. His body started to convulse, and my heartbeat started thumping in my ears. I stroked us harder and faster than I ever thought I could.

Cum left our bodies like Niagara Falls, and it shot everywhere it could reach, my chest, face, hair… I even think I got some in my God damned eye. But at this fucking moment, I couldn't care less. I was in way too much bliss. And by the look on Edward's face, so was he. He was flushed from head to toe, and his breathing was all over the place, and the smile that was on his lips was exquisite.

He looked up at me sleepily, with heavy eyes, and all I could do was kiss him and sigh. "Jasper, that was amazing, awesome, outstanding…"

I leaned over, kissing him again. "I know, Edward. I know." We continued to wash and touch each other - slowly this time - and cleaned down the shower before leaving. After drying off and redressing, we lay on top his bed, his small ass bed. Smiling to myself, I turn to Edward, who is still grinning like a fucking mad man. "I guess we have some purchases to make."

God I love my fucking life.


	7. Loving-Longing-and Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SM owns the boys I just get to play dirty with them.
> 
> A/N: OK here it goes, A few thank you's to get out there.
> 
> First I would like to thank (iamamy) author off sleeves, an amazing person kicked my ass until I wrote this story, I had the idea but not the balls offered it to her, she was busy " thank God" and told me to run with it, so a big thank you to her.
> 
> To (Bellemeer) author of There's a crack in everything, who is also in collaboration with (cocoalvin) author of It All on a little story that just started called Bad Timing they are both amazing people always willing to offer help idea's and encouragement, thank you.
> 
> And to (Touchstone67) author of If on a winter's night for supporting me and answering all my stupid questions.
> 
> Also (musicmovesmypen) author of Tell me what you want, amazing story and a great person thanks.
> 
> All these stories and authors can be found on my favorites go check them out and show some love.
> 
> And last but never least my amazing beta and pre-reader Debra Anne, who without I would look like POOP, she keeps me on my toe's and sometimes I wonder if we were not separated at birth coming up with the same idea's at the same time.
> 
> So on with the show, a big ass chapter to fill all your needs, Jasper growing up, a reunion, and some loving.

I wake with a moan. Shit, I forgot to close the curtains, and the God damn morning sunlight is hurting my eyes. I roll to my side and groan: this bed might be small, but it feels fucking monstrous; its so empty and lonely without my guy.

Don't get me wrong, I've slept alone before. Edward works nights at the hospital sometimes, but when I wake, it's to his smell on the sheets, his clothes lying by the hamper and the the aroma of brewing coffee. Oh yeah, my boy takes care of me in every way. Gotta love my man.

I get my sad ass up and out of the bed, heading for the kitchen. Gotta make my own fucking coffee this morning before I head for the shower. Shit I hate feeling sad and lost! I don't like doing things by myself, or for myself, for that matter. Not used to it I guess.

Edward has always taken care off me. It's not that I'm pampered, well maybe I am! a little! It's just he always seems to know what I need a minute or two before I realize it myself; so yeah, this fucking sucks big time.

Jake looks up, plopping his head back down in a doleful manner. I let him know that he will be taken care of right after my shower.

The coffee is way to strong; think I over did it a little, and my shower was way to short and lonely. I God damn want my life back! I want my man. I can't do this alone, and I refuse to do it without Edward by my side. God, it's only been four days, and it feels like forever.

We've never been apart this long before, and it fucking sucks big donkey dick right now. I'm forgetting his smell, his feel; and I'm missing his smile. I need to be wrapped in him, the need to feel his heat and feel his tender kisses on my body as his teeth tenderly tease my shoulder. It's overwhelming. I need him to want to hold me again. Shit I just want him no matter what.

I get my sorry ass dressed and proceed to walk Jake. He has taken on my persona this morning. He's quiet and slow, and keeps looking up at me expecting something.

We go through the park, and I try to play fetch, but he's having no part of it. Even the cute girls that have shown him some interest are not awaking his horny side, and we all know he's a horny bastard, cause he's just like his master. (Shit he is Emmett's baby!)

Our walk is unsatisfactory, so we head home, well Jake's home! God only knows where the fuck my home is. He's out there somewhere, thinking about our situation, scrutinizing and analyzing it. Shit, hope he doesn't think to hard and realize I'm a fucking ass wipe and that he doesn't need me in his life.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all one-sided. I've taken care of Edward, but is it enough? I know I take care of his needs; we have never had a problem in the bedroom - that's when I let him keep it to the bedroom. He can be a little prude sometimes! I chuckle. When it comes to my baby getting off, the strong power of persuasion wins every time.

God knows I try my best to make him happy, but my God damn best wasn't good enough this time. Shit I really am a fuck up.

Edward and I have always been able to talk about everything. We are best friends, not only husbands and lovers, with no secrets. We've known each other way to long for that shit.

Always been a very loving couple. People have always commented on the connection we share - we have this way of staying connected. Sometimes its just a look, or a swipe of the hand, fingers touching across a table or maybe just a smile, but it's always something, and it always proves to us that we are meant to be.

After feeding Jake, I give him a good pat down. He's enjoying my attention, cause he loves his uncle Jasper. I settle him down and head for the kitchen for one more cup of coffee before I head for the office and see what awaits me. Shit this really sucks.

Opening the door to the beeping, I'm now anxious and concerned. My life is tittering on the edge, and I have to find a way to right this wrong, to bring this situation to completion and get my boy back in my arms and bed where he belongs.

I know where he's coming from with this. It's not the first time we've talked about it - but it was always just a talk, a dream, a part of our future. I just didn't realize our future would come so soon. I thought we would have a few more years at least, a few more years of togetherness, a few more years of just being us - no schedules, no time tables. God help me, I am a selfish bastard.

When I think about it, it's not going to happen overnight; it might take time and planning. God only knows how long that will be, so maybe it's time to get my head out off my ass and really give this some thought.

Sitting at the desk, I take another sip off coffee. My heart's heavy - I really miss my husband. I want to know that he is safe and that we will make it through this, surely come out off it still in one piece. But I'm not the optimistic one - that's Edward's job.

I'm feeling tears roll down my face before I even know they're there. It's not water this time, it's fucking tears! My chest is heaving and my breath is labored; I'm struggling to control myself. Shit I'm falling into a balls to the wall full on breakdown. I never knew there was such a thing as heartbreak - well shit I knew, I know, I've heard of it, but really didn't know it existed. I've never been or felt this lost. Edward and I have never been in this position.

Hell yeah, we've argued from time to time - a little spat here or there over stupid stuff - but never this. Never leaving, never not talking, or at least a text for Christ's sake! So it's hard for me to comprehend. It's hard to understand that maybe we could end. Maybe he could walk away if he thinks there's no other way or hope for us.

But fuck, I still have to have hope that he still loves me as much as I love him. But I'm concerned even my sweet Edward has his limits, and I fucking think I've pushed him to the brink of them this time.

Maybe I should call mama; she would know what to do. She would set me straight on this, but do I really want the wrath of mama coming down on me right now! Edward is her golden boy. She loves him as much as me. At times, I think even more. But she reassures me that I'm her one and only. Fuck I really need to grow the ass up and stop thinking that I should be the center of everyone's universe. No God damn wonder I'm sitting here alone having a fucking nervous breakdown.

After my call to Mama, I didn't feel much better. Other than her wanting to kick my ass from here to Texas for upsetting her Edward, she proceed to lecture me on the importance of compromise and sacrifice in a marriage, telling me I should know better, stop being selfish and immature, and as per, she whooped my ass big time. She went on to tell me to wise and grow the hell up, and to fight for what I want, and if that included kissing Edward's cute little ass (her words, not mine, told ya she loves herself some Edward ) then I should step up to the plate and save my marriage.

The beeping has continued, so I push myself up to the screen and open the mail. My heavy eyes scan the screen and the email breaks my heart a little more.

Edward has decided to come home tonight. I feel my chest tighten! He's letting Emmett know that he and I will need some alone time. We need to put our heads together and see if we can work this out. There will be no compromising this time, he says. It will be an all out decision, and it could make or break us.

He says he has waited long enough for this, and even if he says so himself, he has been quite patient with me, letting us get our careers up and running then buying our home and renovating, he thinks we're settled and strong, and its time we took this to the next level.

He's asking if there's any possible way that Emmett could have some mercy on us and please give us some privacy tonight by not calling every five minutes with some stupid movie thoughts or drinking games; not even a makeup sex position. None of that will help the situation. He wants some alone time with me so we can unwind and hopefully reconnect. Then it dawns on me! Jasper you're not fucking home! You're at fucking Emmett's! What the hell am I going to do?

I'm wracking my brain. I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking screwed right now. What the hell...

And then I see it, and I nearly shit. What the fuck to do. Edward's on chat. His name is blinking - should I click it or not?

So what does Jasper Hale, balls to the wall Cullen do? He fucking clicks the blinking name. Fuck me. Fuck my life.

The chat box comes up and I start to type, reminding myself to be fucking stupid Emmett right now.

EM-ROCKS: Yo Bro... I type...

And I wait!

E HALE-CULLEN: Hey Emmett didn't see your name on chat there! sorry.

EM-ROCKS: Its okay dude, so you going home?

E HALE-CULLEN: I thought I would surprise Jasper and just show up. I really need to start talking to him and stop thinking about all this shit.

E HALE-CULLEN: its getting me nowhere.

E HALE-CULLEN: What do you think Emmett, am I doing the right thing?

EM-ROCKS: Sure bro why not

EM-ROCKS: what could go wrong

EM-ROCKS: Ya think he wont give ya a chance to talk, can he be that selfish

E HALE-CULLEN: Em don't get me wrong. Jay doesn't have a selfish bone in his body when it comes to me! I just think he's scared and I want to help him understand if he'll give me a chance.

EM-ROCKS: I think you going home is a good idea

EM-ROCKS: one problem

E HALE-CULLEN: what's that?

EM-ROCKS: Rose has invited him for dinner tonight

EM-ROCKS: hold on let me think!

EM-ROCKS: how bout the dinner invite stands but you show up

E HALE-CULLEN: Thanks but I really don't want to have this discussion in front of you and Rose, if you don't mind

EM-ROCKS: no bro that's not what I'm saying

EM-ROCKS: I'm saying he comes over - you show up

EM-ROCKS: I'm sure Rose and I can find something to do buddy *wink*

And I wait...

EM-ROCKS: You there bro

E HALE-CULLEN: just thinking!

EM-ROCKS : well?

E HALE-CULLEN: I'll take you up on your offer, be there around 5:30ish

EM-ROCKS: Cool dude, no worries

E HALE-CULLEN:Sounds good Emmett thanks

EM-ROCKS: No problem big guy it'll all work out

EM-ROCKS: if not I'll kick Jasper's ass

E HALE-CULLEN: no kicking Jasper's ass, I happen to like that ass

EM-ROCKS: bro to much info later dude.

E HALE-CULLEN: Thanks Emmett your the best

EM-ROCKS: None needed dude anything for family

And I sign off. Fuck...

I sit back in the chair now, sighing, "Edwards coming home." I smile. "My fucking Edward's coming home." I'll finally get to see him and talk to him. Life is good.

I shut down the computer; its no longer needed. I have a few hours to get things ready for Edward's return.

I leave the office, closing the door behind me. Jake looks up, and this time he tilts his head to the side, letting me know he knows something's up, and I smile. I drop to my knees and kiss the top off his big old head, giving it a pat. "Edward's coming home, boy." Edward's coming home, and all he does is let out a little woof of approval, rolling on his back to have his belly rubbed, and damn it, if he wants it rubbed, he'll get it rubbed, cause I'm happier than a pig in shit right now.

Looking around, I realize I have a lot to do, and only a few hours to do it. I could cook, but shit that crap takes time, time I don't have right now. And I don't really want to poison my boy his first night home, now do I? Edward's the cook in this relationship. Fuck, what doesn't Edward do? I'm really going to have to rethink this relationship shit and start giving my husband one hundred percent.

So I go rummaging through Emmett's menu drawer again. I'm sure there has to be a fancy restaurant in here somewhere. Rose does live in this apartment, after all, and I know pizza don't cut it with her all the time.

And there it is, heaven to my eyes, the nice Italian restaurant down the block. It's expensive, but oh so worth it. Edward loves Italian. win-win. I pick up the phone and place my order, stating what time I need it delivered, and thank God I can pay over the phone with my credit card, also tipping the delivery guy, which I do big time, not wanting a repeat of last night on my hands.

I grab my coat and whistle for Jake. Time for a walk Jakie boy. Going to kill two birds with one stone. I can take Jake for a walk and pick some stuff up at the store that I might need to make this evening worth our while.

The afternoon air is warm, and I'm enjoying the feel of it on my skin and in my hair. My heart is lighter, and I feel my shoulders straighten a little. A lot has changed for me in such a short period of time. I think I now know what it means to be fulfilled - not that Edward in my life didn't fulfill me before - I just think I had started taking him for granted. That stops now. I now know what it takes to make this work; and I now know that if nothing else, I want this to work for us.

We make it back to the apartment in record time. Even Jake has a skip in his step. He senses the difference, and knows something's going down, so he's all happy and panting, tongue sticking out all over the place, dancing by my side and following my every move.

I put the wine in the fridge, and look through the cupboards for what I need to set the table. I set us across from one another, not wanting to presume that he would want to sit close at this point. I find a vase and put the flowers in water. They are green and ivory, and Edward's favorites. Mine too, as they remind me off my boy with his smooth ivory skin and his forest green eyes.

I place candles though-out the apartment, just a few here and there to give lend to a little ambiance for the evening. Just a soft and subtle warm glow,nothing too pushy for now. I place a few in the spare bedroom as well, not that I'm expecting anything, but you never know, and should always be prepared. Once a boy scout, always a boy scout, I guess. Here's to hoping. Right?

A quick look at the clock tells me it's time to shower. I remove a change of clothes from my overnight bag, black jeans as always, and a pale blue v-neck t-shirt. Edward loves me to wear pale blue, so I think it would only be fitting to please my man. One last glance around to make sure everything is in order, and off to the shower I head.

Just in time, the food arrives and I set everything up in new dishes and place them in the warming oven. Not knowing how long I'll have to wait, I run around and start lighting the candles, leaving the ones in the bedroom for later, not knowing what we'll be doing or how this will go.

Removing the wine, I open it to let it breathe. Shit, at least one of us is right now. After putting it on ice and grabbing myself a beer, I sit and I wait.

It's the waiting that kills; but I've waited this long, so a few more minutes wont kill me. I keep looking at my watch and the clock. Shit its driving me crazy.

Jake is at my feet. He's looking up, bewildered, unable to read my mood right now, cause really I don't have one, other than nerves and anticipation. I try to clear my mind, keep my thoughts positive. This has to work. It needs to work. I can't live without him; I have proven that already.

Two more beers later, I start to relax, but still feel a little anxious -not as much as earlier though. Then Jake raises his head and tilts it, letting out a little woof. Someone is at the door, but has yet to knock or ring the bell. I think my heart skips a beat, and I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, and stand. All I can do is stare at the door. My legs are unable to move, and I'm scared shit-less.

Then the door knocks and brings me back to the present. I gulp down the last of my beer and straighten myself. This is it, Jasper. Time to man up.

My hand is on the door knob, and it's slipping under my touch. I'm sweating. Nerves are getting the best of me, so I stop, take a step back and breathe.

There he is, standing right in front off me in all his red headed glory, with a small shy smile on his face. His eyes are sparkling, and they look greener than ever at this moment.

I open my mouth to speak, but he takes a step forward and places a finger on my lips "Shusssh, love," he says. Then removing his finger, he replaces it with his lips.

It's not an angry kiss or a hurt one, it just is. His lips are soft and soothing, and for right now, it's closed mouthed, but its still tender. I can't help it, I wrap my arm around his waist as his comes up to wrap around my neck, and we pull closer. This is it. This is heaven. Our lips part and the tips of our tongues touch softly. We groan in unison. Fuck.

Our lips touch again. This kiss is longer, but tender and sweet. It's to show we belong, if not for any other reason but that we are one soul, one life, one heart; and we must continue our journey.

With a little hesitation, we pull back. And I must look like the biggest dork, cause I'm sure I have the biggest shit eating grin on my face. Edward's is a little of the same, and that makes me feel less petrified, and my thoughts and breathing even out.

"Are you going to let me in, Jasper?" he says in nearly a whisper. Shit, forgot we were in view of the whole fucking building. So I grab him gently by the arm and lead him into the apartment. Jake runs up to him, all happy and panting again. Edward kneels to give Jake some needed attention, patting his head and pulling on his ears; Edward receiving a big old lick in return.

Once I take his bag and jacket and set it to the side, I feel nerves churning in my belly, but I have to push them aside for now. I have to learn to watch and listen if I'm going to fix this fucking mess. And that's what I do. I watch Edward's every move and listen to the tone of his voice.

As for his moves, the boys still got it. He's as sexy as fuck, and he knows it, he's looking around the apartment, taking in everything, and his voice is like melting butter, all warm and soft. "Are Emmett and Rose home?" he asks.

My head is spinning. I'm trying to wrack my brain and hoping not to fuck this up too bad right now. With a horse voice, I answer, "No, when I got here they said they had to run out for a bit and would be back soon, and just left me here, waiting."

He raises his eyebrow at me, and I'm thinking, Oh shit! I'm so busted!

Edward smiles softly, and I try my best to return it, all the time trying to look confident in my actions. I motion him to the table, telling him that Rose had explained that the food was in the warming drawer before she left, and acting shocked when I noticed the table was only set for two. Edward smirked and asked what was for dinner, saying that he was starving. After pouring us each a glass of wine, I headed for the kitchen, and quickly removed the food, trying not to spill it everywhere.

I serve our food and refill our wines before I settle myself down at the other side of the table. As of right now, a word has yet to be spoken, but the silence is not uncomfortable. Edward and I have shared the same space before without having to fill it with nonsense, and this is no different.

Both taking our first bite, we moan with appreciation at the same time. We look at each other, flushed, and smile. Edward raises his glass and signals for me to do the same. When I do, he taps them together,saying "The Best Part Of Me Is Always You." I feel my eyes sting first, and my chest heaves. Tears are now rolling down my face, and I can't help it, I pull back from the table. Within seconds Edward is by my side, arms wrapped around my neck, and I pull him close - so close I think I nearly break a rib.

I'm sobbing uncontrollably, and Edward is trying his best to soothe me. I apologize continuously into his neck, trying to let him know that I will do anything to make this right, and I would go to any length to make this better. He is telling me that everything will work out, and we will be fine; that I need to calm down and finish our wonderful dinner and drink some delicious wine.

I straighten myself up and wipe my face with the back of my hand. Edward's arms are still around my neck. I look at him shyly, hoping he can forgive my dorky move, and he's smiling, placing the hair that has fallen in my face back behind my ear. He stands, kissing my forehead, and moves back to his side of the table, lifting his glass to his lips and taking another sip. I mirror his actions and try my best to smile in return.

After dinner, I suggest to Edward that we take Jake for a walk, not knowing what time Rose or Emmett will return, or if they will at all. We walk to the park, hand in hand, with Jake by our side. The night has cooled, but is still pleasant, and we talk about the weather this time of year, and also the neighborhood; nothing too heavy, just wanting to be.

On our return to the apartment, we settle down, moving ourselves and the wine to the couch. The conversation is light, but there is still something missing. I move my arm across the back of the couch to meet Edward's. Our hands touch and fingers entwine. Edward speaks first, "Jasper, I know this is hard for you right now." I try to stop him, but he continues, "No, let me speak. I know it's hard, and you're finding it impossible to wrap your mind around it, but, baby, I think we can do this. I think it will work. I have faith in us."

I look at my man. He is the picture of beauty and strength, and my heart fills with warmth and joy for him. There is no other for me, and there will be no other ever, as I look at his face I realize this even stronger than I ever have before. This is my life. This is my journey. And I want Edward by my side as I take it. So I entwine our fingers just a little tighter, causing Edward to look at me and smile.

I take this opportunity to speak. "Edward, I love you with all that I am. My life would be nothing without you in it. We belong together, and we always have. Nothing's going to change that - or us - and I think it's time for us to continue on our journey together, and let nothing hold us back."

He moves a little closer and wraps himself around me. "You mean that Jay, really mean that?"

I stare at his face; it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, like that first day in his bedroom when I looked down on him. I thought to myself, He has got to be the most beautiful creature on this earth - and God has sent him to me.

I pull him close to me and place soft tender kisses on his face and neck. God, his smell is so inviting, so welcoming. I feel like I'm home, as does my dick, for that matter. And I can't control myself. I have missed him too much to let this moment pass, so I kiss his lips hard this time, with as much feeling as I can muster, and in return, he groans into my mouth, and fuck I feel like I'm dying. But if I do, so be it. I would be a happy man.

He pulls back, panting, and I look down at his face, all warm and flushed, placing my palm on his cheek. His lips part, and I smirk, cause I know what's coming. And then I hear it: "Jassssssper, take me to bed." Fuck, don't have to ask me twice.

I run around, blowing out candles, and carry Edward's overnight bag to the bedroom. He's in the bathroom, washing up, so I light the few candles I have placed around, standing back and admiring the view. I chuckle to myself. It's a little ass bed, but fuck, we can make it work.

I strip down to my boxers. I'm as hard as a fucking rock, but I try to ignore it. This is about Edward. Tonight will be all about him. I hear the water turn off, and my heart skips a beat. I have to swallow the lump that is now forming in my throat. It's been so long - a few days to some - but this is forever for Edward and me. It does leave me a little nervous.

The bathroom door swings open, and there he is in all his red headed glory - fucking love that damn hair - standing in front of me in nothing but his boxers - not just any boxers but the sexy forest green ones I got him for Christmas -and all I can do is smile, cause still, after all these years, he steals my breath, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He's the God damn sexiest thing I have ever seen.

I lean to the dresser hitting the play button on the CD player! Nora Jone's soulful sultry voice fills the room singing "Turn Me On"

Like a flower... waiting to bloom

Like a light-bulb... in a dark room

I'm sitting here waiting...for you... too come home and turn me on.

He moves to me slowly, almost painfully, with that sexy as fuck smirk on his face, and once again my belly flips for him and him only. He touches my face, and I feel the heat of his hand leaning into it. I know I'm home.

I pull him close and kiss his lips, this time with more vigor and hope. He answers me in kind, sending me all the same signals.

My lips leave his, moving down his neck to his shoulders. I suck, placing little tender kisses for a while, enjoying his reaction. His chest is heaving and his breath is labored. I can feel the heat rise in him. His knees are starting to tremble and his hands are shaking, as are mine. But this is about my boy, so I try and regain control off myself.

My hands slide up his sides and reach for his chest. I rub my thumbs over his now hardened nipples, and he lets out a little groan. It's music to my ears, leaving me only wanting more.

Like the desert... waiting for rain

Like the school kids... waiting for spring

I'm sitting here waiting... for you... to come home and turn me on

I step back and he whimpers. I smirk, taking him by the hands and leading him to the bed. He raises his eyebrow at me, finally taking notice of the room. He sees the bed and I laugh, "We've worked with less, Edward."

My poor heart... has been so dark... since.. you've.. been gone

After all your the only one who turns me off.

Your the only one who can turn me back on.

The music fades into the night air due to the pressure of the blood pounding in my ears, I look over at him and he nods with a sigh, like he's remembering something, and smiles. I push my thumbs into his waistband and tug on his boxers, moving them down his thighs over his knees and off.

My breath catches in my throat. God, he's so beautiful. I stand and remove my own now. It's his turn to stare and admire, swallowing hard at the view. I place a hand on his back and lower him to the mattress, climbing on to the side of him.

It's a tight squeeze, but I'll make it work. We proceed to kiss. This time it's passionate and wanton, and my heart and belly are flip flopping all over the place. My hand roams his chest and moves over his stomach, slowly moving to his groin... now palming his hard has fuck cock.

He twitches with the need for my touch, and it makes me smirk to myself.

I feel his legs start to part for me, and I take this opportunity to move. I raise above him, placing my hands on each side of his face. I kiss his forehead, his nose, his chin, and now his chest.

I'm sitting here waiting... for you... to come home and turn me on

He's making the most beautiful little noises, and I can feel them build in his body he wants more. His hands are now in my hair, pulling slightly, so I continue to lower myself down his glorious body until I reach the promised land.

On my travels, I reach for the bed side table, retrieving what we will need later and placing them on the bed beside me. I hear him groan, and I smile to myself. Boy scout wins out again: always be prepared, I say.

I take him in my mouth slowly, savoring his taste. He's salty and sweet, and oh so Edward; and there's nothing on this earth that will ever taste as good to me.

Running my tongue over the head the way I know he likes, it he growls loudly, "Fuck, Jasper!" leaving his pretty little lips. Once again, I smirk. I'm a cocky fucker tonight, but I have to be. I know this man's body as well as he does, if not better, and I'm about to pull out all the stops if I have to.

My tongue dips into the slit, and I feel his hips buck. My hands move to them so I can steady him, and once again, a low, strong growl leaves him.

Looking up at him, his eyes are closed, lashes fluttering. He wants to watch, but he's halfway between want and bliss right now. He can't make up his mind which one to choose.

I take more of him in my mouth, and give him no other choice. He will have to settle for the bliss right now and wait for the want. I push down and pull up, using a little teeth, adding to the experience. And oh my fucking gravy, the room fills with the deep groan that leaves his chest, and my heart stops. I also think I come a little, just a little, but enough to make my hard cork throb with want.

I reach for the lube by my side, all the while still making Edward squirm beneath me. He repeats my name over and over. He's comparing me to the baby Jesus and all the saints in heaven cause their names are leaving his lips also. I squeeze some lube unto my fingers, proceeding to go for the kill. This move gets him every time, and tonight will be no different.

When my fingers are lubed, I raise myself a little, not letting go of his cock in my mouth, but to give me better access to what I want. I reach between his legs and place my fingers at his entrance, slipping one in, waiting for his reaction. He tenses and whimpers, but in no time, he's relaxing, letting me do my thing. I pump him slowly, gazing up every now and then to check on him.

We are not new at this. We have been together forever, but that doesn't mean I take this for granted. I love Edward, and I will take every precaution to make sure this is enjoyable for him. I will never knowingly hurt my love, and still to this day, I refuse to think of that ever happening.

Sliding in another, I wait. Then another. I'm slow and steady, and painfully patient, but this is for him, and I will not waver from my goal.

He's starting to buck into my hand. His pants are louder now, and his hands are on my shoulders and in my hair. He has a death grip. He's ready. But still I wait. I have to hear it from him. And then, like music to my ears, "Jasper, please take me. Jasper, take me now."

I raise up to my knees, opening the condom and putting it on. We know we don't have to use condoms- we are each others one and only - but we decide long ago that this worked for us, if for nothing else but the clean up process. I grab the lube and stroke the length of my cock in preparation for what's to come.

I lean down, placing one hand at the side of his head, the other on my cock. I'm now at his entrance, and Edward has wrapped his legs loosely around my waist. I kiss him softly as his hands pull on my hair. We both steal each others groans, sliding them into each others mouths, along with our tongues.

Looking down at him, I feel a tear roll down the side of my face. He softly smiles and wipes it away with his thumb.

"Love you, Edward," comes out more like a whisper.

"Love you too, Jasper," he matches my whisper, and then I push forward slowly. His eye's close slightly, rolling back in his head.

Taking my hand away from my cock, I place it in his hair, pulling gently. His eyes open, all wet and glossy. He pulls on my hair in response, as I slide myself in deeper. His breath leaves his body and hangs in the air above us for a moment before he can catch it again. Then we begin this dance, this dance of love that Edward and I have for one another.

I deepen my thrusts and Edward tightens his grip around my shoulders. The air in the room is now thick. We both struggle to stay in the moment. I twist. I pull, I gently move, knowing where I want to be. Then fucking bingo, I found it, his hot spot. And God does he let me know it. He bucks, he whimpers, he tightens his legs around my waist. And then I'm in shock, cause the words that leave Edward are not his own. "Oh my fucking gravy, Jasper!"

I can't help but laugh a little. I look down at him with a grin. "You kiss your husband with that mouth, Mister Hale-Cullen?"

Chuckling, he throws himself up to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. "Hell fucking yeah, Mister Hale-Cullen!" and we both continue to chuckle, but the moment is not lost.

I fall back on my heels, pulling Edward with me until he's straddling my lap with his ankles crossed behind my back, pushing in deeper. He pulls me tighter. He's kissing my neck and sucking on my collar-bone, telling me how much he loves me and how he can't live without me, and letting me know I'm his everything. My hands are roaming his back and cupping his butt so I can lift and lower him when needed.

There's nothing but grunts and groans now. I don't think we could speak if needed anyhow. I'm deep inside his heat and he's pressed tightly between us. Then I feel it, the warmth starting in my thighs running up my legs and into my belly. It's tight and its awesome, and I'm ready to explode.

I kiss Edward hard and long, moving from his neck to his ear. "You ready, baby? Let me hear you cum." And that was it. That's all it took, and he was gone, shooting cum all over our chests and stomachs as I released into him.

We sat like that for a while, catching our breath and stilling our beating hearts.

I pull back, kissing his nose. "Let me get you cleaned up, sweetness." I lay him back onto the mattress. Pulling out slow, I head for the bathroom, disposing of the condom and washing myself up.

Entering the room again, I stare at Edward. He's lying on his back with one arm over his face, still trying to control his breathing, and doing a very sorry ass job off it. I chuckle, and he looks over, smiling. I kneel on the bed, and with a warm washcloth, I wash his chest and stomach, throwing it in the hamper near the door when finished.

Edward moves a little so I can pull back the covers, then climbs in. I pull him close to me, and he lays his head on my chest, whispering, "I love you, Jasper," as he looks up through his lashes.

I pull a little tighter, saying "I love you too, Edward. Now and forever."

He smiles. He's looking at me with his forest greens, and my heart melts for him. I love this man, and I always have. There will never be another.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Jasper?"

I wait...

"Jasssssssssssper..."

I smirk and I wait... "Let's make a baby," and I have to cover my ears cause of the girlie scream that leaves my boy.

Fuck, I love my life.


	8. Fuck! I'm going to be a Father

I wake; the room is dark. Thank fuck I remembered to close the curtains last night. Rolling to my back, laying my arm across my face with a sigh, I suddenly remember Edward.

My Edward is home. I smell his scent as I reach under the covers, feeling his warmth.

Then it hits me. What's that? What's that I smell? Fucking coffee! Oh my God, coffee! I'm smiling fiercely to myself; told ya my boy is amazing. He's just the best! Raising myself up from the small ass bed with a smile and a groan, I head for the bathroom before making my way to the kitchen.

Well I'm not actually walking. I'm following the aroma of the liquid gold, cause my brain hasn't caught up with the rest of me yet.

As I reach the kitchen, I hear him singing. He has a tendency to sing when he's happy or contemplating something important. It's sweet and soulful, and I recognize it as the Nora Jones song I played last night as we made love! It makes me smile as my heart melts a little more for my red headed boy

He turns like he senses me, as I stand in my boxers with my arms folded across my chest, leaning against the door frame. "Good morning, sweetness," I smirk.

"Good morning, daddy," he replies cautiously, giving me a small smile. He's thinking I might renege on my promise.

I raise my eyebrow as I see worry cross his face and reach his eyes. "Edward, hon, you've called me a lot of shit over the years, but your daddy, I'm not." I laugh.

He's trying to show a little disgust with me; it's written all over his face, but he's failing miserably.

It takes me two short strides, and my arms are around him, with his wrapping around my neck. I place a fuckhot kiss upon his beautiful mouth, and he slowly and sweetly moans into the kiss, and fuck I'm hard. Well go figure, cowboy. He rubs his own hardness against me, and now it's my turn to moan, enjoying the feel of him again.

"What time are Rose and Emmett due home, baby?" he whispers into my neck, making me shiver. "Not sure, sweetness. What do you have in mind? Cause remember, I haven't had my coffee yet," I chuckle to myself.

"Jasssssssssssper, is that all you can think of at this very moment, hon?" Rubbing his cock harder against mine, he makes me shiver more, and a growl leaves my chest, "No, Edward, it's not. But you should know by now, I work to my fullest capacity when I've had my coffee, babe." Licking up his neck, sucking his ear lobe into my mouth, biting on it gently, feeling his smooth hard chest purr against my own... Aah bliss.

Pushing him to the counter and kissing him frantically, my greed and wantonness takes over. I can't hold back. I have no intentions of being timid trying to show him how much I desire and worship him. The kisses are open-mouthed and messy. I suck hard on his skin, biting down hungrily, licking the swollen flesh as I go.

He's shivering and overwhelmed. His voice is horse as he speaks my name - it's like whispers and pants trying to leave his chest at the same time. He's trying so hard to keep up, but I'm moving too fast for him.

My hands have now joined the party. They're grabbing, nipping, pulling and pushing at him, not knowing what direction to send him in first. I want him tight to me, so I can feel his warmth and heartbeat, smelling his scent which is intoxicating. Then I'm pushing him back to look and stare at him, wanting to watch his lustful beauty with my own eyes.

His eyes are black with desire, and his fuck me hair is standing every different direction. And fuck me, I wouldn't have it any other way.

His noises are sweet and soft, but I'm sure he's finding it hard to breathe, cause I'm not giving his body a chance to react to one thing before, within a split second, I'm switching it up.

His fingers are in my hair and grabbing at my shoulders. It's like they're lost and can't find their way in the dark.

I feel the sweat run off our bodies, making us slide against one another. I hear my mantra in my ears, mixed with my own heartbeat and pulse racing through my veins: "Fuck Edward. Fuck Edward."

"What, Jasper, what? What is it you need, baby?"

"I need you, Edward. All of you. Nothing but you, baby. You're mine, and only mine."

"I'm yours. I'm yours, Jasper. I'm yours, baby. All yours," he's saying as if trying to soothe me, soothe my soul as only he can!

"Edward I missed you so fucking much, baby," I cry as I take his nipple into my mouth, biting it a little too hard while palming his hard as fuck cock, his head falling back, not able to stay in the present.

He's crying!

"I missed you too, honey. I never want to be apart like that again. Promise me we won't."

"I promise, sweetness. I promise. Never again"

And I meant it with every thread of my being. Never again will I let my boy down. He deserves better, and from this minute forth, I vow to myself never to fail him again with my words or actions if I can help it.

We're sweating and crying, chests are heaving, and the sounds of our actions are filling the apartment. It's thick and rich, making me struggle for control. My legs are shaking. I'm finding it hard to breathe. It's taking all my strength to stay afloat.

Our grinding is getting stronger, my boxers and his sweat pants being the only barrier between our sex.

I'm getting desperate. I need to feel and taste him. His scent is overwhelming to my senses, and my brain is turning to mush.

My fingertips dig into his hips until he lets out a whimper, grabbing the hair at the nape of my neck and pulling me to his mouth, crushing our lips together painfully.

" Jasper please will you fucking suck my dick before it falls off with need!" he growls into my mouth.

I chuckle at him as he slaps the back of my head. "Now, now Edward, no violence. It will get you nowhere or everywhere depending..." I raise my eyebrow at his smirking face.

"Please, Jasper," came in the smallest childlike tone I have ever heard from him. Now how could I resist my boy? I drop to my knees on the cold kitchen tile.

I yank his sweats so hard I almost rip the shit out of them, looking up at Edward, ginning as he winks down. "Easy, trigger," he says with a smirk, both of us letting out a hearty laugh, filling the room. I grab him by the base, and his breath hitches (That shut him the fuck up now, didn't it?) as he leans back into the counter with a death grip, white knuckle hold on the granite.

Settling in between his legs, I get to work. The hunger has diminished a little, but the lust and want are still hanging in the air, wetting my lips. I lean in, using my flat tongue to swipe his cock from base to tip in one long stroke, and there it is: "Fuck me, Jassssssper..."

Gotta love my boy.

He's so hard! and starting to thrust into my mouth before my lips are even around him. My boy is eager, and I fucking love it. I lick and slurp, making it wet and messy, knowing I'm driving him crazy. And the oh's and the ah's and the "that's it, baby, right there" leaving his lips, let me know I have him hook line and sinker.

I feel him tense, knowing he's ready. One reach between his legs, wrapping my fingers around his balls gently, and he's gone, shooting everything he has to give me deep into my throat. I'm savoring willingly every ounce he has to offer.

He's tugging on my hair now, pulling me up towards him, jumping at my face and grabbing my lips with his. He's moaning and whimpering into my mouth, his chest expanding, touching mine with every breath. "Honey, I love you so much. Always and forever," he cries.

"Love you too, sweetness. Always and forever," I reply, pushing his fuck hot hair back off his forehead, so I can see his forest greens, and smiling.

He's still draped over me, trying to catch his breath and control his senses. Giving him a little time, noticing his demeanor is now even, I cup his face in my palms, kissing his forehead nose and chin. "Baby, what's for breakfast?" I say, smirking.

We're married. There is no-I took care off you-now its my turn, I already know how my boy will take care of me later, and that is something to look forward to.

Wiping his face with the palms of his hands and running his fingers through his hair, he smiles. "Will pancakes and bacon do, with your four cups off coffee, baby?"

"Hell yeah".

After breakfast, we shower slowly. No more lonely showers for me! We dress, then take Jake for his morning walk, heading for the park again. Maybe this time he'll feel like playing some catch with us.

As we walk hand in hand through the park, the morning sun warming our faces and slight breeze cooling our skin, I feel his fingers tighten with mine. "Jasper, when are they coming home?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me, Jasper. When are Rose and Emmett coming home?"

"Don't know for sure, Edward. Should be soon. Why?"

"Just asking." And we continue walking.

I'm throwing the ball to Jake as he retrieves it, returning to me, dropping it at my feet, me picking it up and repeating my actions.

I feel his stare. He's sitting on the bench at the edge of the green. I feel the anticipation creep up my spine. Edward has a way of letting you know he knows shit without even uttering a God damn word, and he's pulling that shit on me now; I can feel it in my bones.

I let Jake run free for a while, knowing he will stay close. Whistling to him, I let him know I'll be sitting down beside Edward.

He looks up, all ears and tongue at attention, then runs off, trying to catch a bird that has just happened to land on what Jake now thinks is his park.

Strolling over towards Edward, I brace myself for what's to come, thinking to myself, what the hell could he know, or what the hell does he think he knows.

Sitting beside him, I grab his hand in mine and smile. "Jasper, you've been here all weekend, haven't you?"

"Huh?"

"Jasper," he says, raising an eyebrow at me. He doesn't look angry, just questioning.

I lower my head. "Yes, babe. I'm sorry."

"It's OK. I just knew."

We sat in silence, watching Jake run after everything that even slightly moved, getting pissed at himself when he couldn't catch it. He would get frustrated, shaking his head from side to side and snorting at the ground. There was nothing you could do but laugh.

"You knew?"

"Yes, honey, I knew."

"You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad."

"I've been here all weekend. They needed me to take care of Jake. The dog sitter couldn't make it!"

"It's nice that you looked after Jake for them. I'm proud of you, baby" He ran his thumb in circles over my knuckles.

"Thanks," I say, smiling to myself.

"Did you wiggle it?"

I swear I heard the fucker snort.

"Yes, Edward, I wiggled it!"

"Did you pull it out gentle and put it in slow?"

A louder snort... fucking pecker-head.

"Yes, Edward, I fucking pulled it out gently and put it in slow. God damn it, Edward, you're acting like I'm a chicken nugget short of a fucking happy meal right now. Can you give me some credit?" I bitch at him.

"How'd that work for ya, cowboy?" He tries his best to imitate my Texan drawl, but fucking fails... asshole.

"Like shit, Edward. Like fucking shit, it pissed me the fuck off."

"But you did it, and didn't kill anyone or thing in the process?"

"Yes. I did it, but it wasn't easy. Nearly wanted to kill the lady three doors down as she eyed me in her fucking pink robe, but I didn't."

"That's my big guy," he says, patting my thigh as he bends in half, laughing his ass off.

"Fucker."

So now we're both laughing so hard, people are starting to stare. Edward stands, wiping his laughter tears with the back of his hand. "Let's head back. I'm sure you're getting hungry again."

And I was. See, the boy's a genius, I tell ya. A fucking genius.

Entering the apartment, I headed for the kitchen to prepare breakfast for Jake and make sure his water bowl was full. Then I proceeded to start the dishwasher and straighten the living room. Believe me, if it wasn't as Rose left it, there would be hell to pay.

Edward was in the bedroom, changing the bedding and repacking our overnight bags, leaving them at the front door.

Once we were finished, we settled on the couch with a fresh cup of coffee, my arm around the back of the couch, his on my lap. He sighed deeply.

"What's up, sweetness. What's on that beautiful mind of yours?" I look over at him tenderly.

"Were you serious about what you said? You want this as much as I do, right?"

"Yes, darling, this is what I want with you. Was I shocked that the time had come? Fuck yes. But am I ready now? Hell yes, it's worth it. It's worth everything, having you in my life for always.

"You understand that things will change for us, right?"

"Yes, Edward, I do. But I also realize that they will change for the best; that once again this is a first for us both, and we will get through it together like we always do."

I lean to him, catching his lips, using my tongue, licking back and forth until I get what I want. Bingo! His mouth opens as his tongue comes out to play, and he moans. It's deep and passionate, but not hungry, so we can pull back and give each other a small smile.

"We're strong, Jasper. We always have been. This will only make us stronger as a couple." He looks up at me, willing me with his eyes to see in us what he sees.

"I know, Edward, I know. I was just scared that it was happening way too fast, but the more I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it was time for us both."

"We have to go see Alice, and let her know." He looked over at me shyly.

"I know, sweetness. Is she ready for this?"

"Yes, we talked last week. She was the reason I came to you with the suggestion. Now that she and Riley are finished with their brood, she would like to try for us. Then she will be finished for good, so to speak."

Alice and Riley have been married for five years now, and have two kids of their own, a girl and a boy. She has always said she would have three, two for them and one for Edward and me, if needed and/or when we were ready, whichever came first; but with the stipulation that we approach her before her last child's second birthday. As Riley Jr will be two this coming Christmas, I guess she came to Edward to question if we'd thought about it, as we only had a few months to play with.

"Then you should give her a call, baby, and let her know we'll be coming to see her." He tightened his grip on my knee, and his forest greens were damp, but full of appreciation and love as I wrapped my arm around his back a little tighter, knowing his truths. I leaned in, capturing his soft lips with mine.

"And you're fine with this, love?" He looks up questioningly at me.

"Yes, baby, I'm fine. Point me in the direction of the plastic cup, and I'll give it my best shot, so to speak." A little chuckle leaves my throat; Edward joins in with a frown.

Our deal and the discussions that followed were that when we were ready, I would donate my boys and Alice her eggs, plus her well needed womb for nine months. This way, it would have both our families' genes (me hoping for his forest greens and fuck red hair). Upon hearing this, Rose being Rose, and not wanting to be left out of fucking anything, tells Edward that our family could never be complete without her beautiful genes, and agreed to be our second carrier if all went well first time around and we wanted to expand our family.

Edward agreed excitedly, wanting nothing more than my blond curls and vibrant blues, and if all went as planned, it would be Edward's boys and her eggs. But as Emmett and Rose had never discussed getting married or their want for children, we never pushed the issue with them.

"Can you come with me?" I'm smirking at him.

"Where?" He says bewildered.

"Into the room, Edward. I need you to hold my... well, hand."

"Jasper, I don't think they'll let me hold your... well, hand." And now we both have shit eating grins on our faces." You're so bad, Jasper Hale-Cullen." He smirks, smacking my lap. "Only for you, sweetness, only for you."

And fuck am I not hard just thinking about Edward being able to come into the room with me? And what he could help me with - I twitch in my pants and try my best to move slightly to disguise my hardness rubbing against my jeans and trying its best to break free.

He notices my fidgeting and looks down at my lap with a raised eyebrow. "Jasper?" I look down at my lap, feeling the flush hit my cheeks. "Jasssssssssssssper?" We both burst out laughing; we are so fucked up its unbelievable.

Then he's on his feet and I'm fucking frowning. "Where the fuck you think your going, Doctor Hale-Cullen?" I reach for him, but he's way too fast, heading for the guestroom before I even get to blink. "I'll be right back, handsome. Hold that thought."

I feel my anticipation grow along with my cock. I lean back, resting my head against the back of the couch, and wait, trying to control my breathing and anxiousness, wiping my palms on the thighs of my jeans.

I sense him in minutes, but it feels like he's been gone longer, so I open my eyes slowly and glance over in his direction. And oh my fuck, there he is, all fucking buck naked and hard as a fucking rock, walking painfully slowly towards me. My fucking head is spinning and my throat contracts with need for him.

He's wearing nothing but a grin, and carrying what looks like a few towels, a small bottle of lube and a nice shining condom package. Standing in front of me, he lays one of the towels on the couch, throwing the other to the floor with the lube and the condom. Then he kneels between my legs, placing his hands on my knees, creeping painfully up my thighs until he reaches my aching cock, palming it. "Oh fuck, Edward. That feels so good," I gasp, my head falling back with a thud, hitting the back of the couch. I can't fucking breathe.

My hands fall to his hair, intertwining my fingers through his soft tresses, pulling on his roots until I hear him fucking moan from the sensation. He falls a little closer between my legs, his hands tugging at the hem of my t-shirt, trying to get it over my head.

I raise my arms, eager for my boy to reach his goal, wanting to know what he has in store for me.

Throwing my shirt over the back of the couch, and after removing my boots and socks, he rolls back on his heels, commanding me to stand.

Excuse me, smirky little fucker, I think to myself, looking down at him, giving him my best fucker look.

He looks up through his lashes, biting his bottom lip, hissing a little. Fucker's lucky he's so damn cute. I should kick his ass right now, but I won't, cause I'm kinda in the middle of something. Now where were we?

Oh yeah, I'm on my feet, Edward kneeling before me, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling down the zipper. I hear his breath hitch before I register his eyes turning pure fucking black, cause the first thing he notices is that his Jasssssssper has gone commando, and before I can even react, he sticks out his tongue, pressing it to my base and deliciously swiping it all the way up to the head, and delectably dipping into the slit for good measure. Little fucker. "Fuck me, Edward."

And with a mouth full off cock, I hear, "I'm trying to Jasper, now shusssh," with a chuckle.

Now I'm completely naked as he pushes me to the couch, sitting me on the nice warm towel, legs spread, arms laying limp at my sides. He approaches the couch, deliberately picking up the lube and condom, laying them next to me, stroking my outer thigh with his fingers on his way back to a standing position.

My fingers reach out, just barely touching the happy trail below his belly, leisurely stroking the fine hair leading to his promised land. I stroke tenderly, caressing his abs back down to the base of his cock. He sighs beautifully as his abs contract with his slow breaths. His body trembles as little gasps of air leave his parted lips.

I continue this motion, enjoying listening to his little noises while watching his eyes close. Slowly his lashes flutter slightly, his chest heaves under my manipulations. It doesn't take much for my boy to feel overwhelmed and give in to the sensations of our lust. I love and adore how earnestly he submits to my actions, trusting me with his body and soul. He knows I would never hurt him. He knows I would never do anything to compromise our love. He trusts me with his everything, and that I would never take for granted.

I wrap my hands around the back of his thighs and pull him towards me gently. He straddles my thighs, lowering himself until we're face to face, wrapping his arms around my neck, pulling at the hair at the nape of my neck, easing my face to his so our lips touch softly. It's not rough or lustful. It just is.

We moan in unison as are cocks come in contact with each other, the moisture between them helping them glide as one.

He whispers my name as his hand reaches between us, holding it over my heart. Pressing firmly, he leans back all glassy eyed. "This is mine, as mine is yours!" he says breathlessly.

I gasp, and my chest contracts. I feel my throat tighten as my eyes water. A tear releases itself from my lashes and rolls freely down my cheek.

Edward looks at me lovingly, lifting his thumb up to stroke my cheek tenderly. He's soft and tender. He wants me to feel; he wants me to learn. He wants me to believe again, letting me understand that we are still us, and always will be, no matter what.

He reaches for the lube and my hand simultaneously, caressing my fingers with the cool wet liquid, disposing of the bottle, he wraps both his arms around the back of my neck, lifting himself gradually to a kneeling position. I place my hands under him, waiting for him to release his hold. As he lowers himself gingerly to my lap, my slick finger enters him. With a growl, his eyes roll back in his head, and once again, my name falls from his lips in such a rush, I feel the spray spread across my now flushed face.

I'm taking my time, wanting this to be leisurely and compliant. Wanting us to take our time and appreciate this connection. I wrap my arm around his waist, tenderly pulling him to me, having our chests meet as we breathe in harmony. My lips are on his neck, sucking and licking, moving to his ear, taking his lobe between my lips, sucking gently. A tremble runs from his thighs to the top of his spine as his hold on my hair and neck tighten boisterously. I hear him giggle lightly into the side of my face. God damn it, he's so cute.

We're now sweaty, and a little weakened, but still taking our time, loving the fact that we can be just like this. We appreciate each other fully and exclusively. We have nothing but time and energy for one another.

I reach behind his head, roughly grabbing the back of his hair, pulling him to me. It's harsh, but passionate. His lips crash to mine as my tongue enters his, pushing dominantly into his mouth. He sucks on it, greedily sucking my saliva and breath into his own.

I take this opportunity to slip another finger into him, and he groans into my mouth, biting down on my tongue at the same time. Then he sucks gently to soothe his action.

And now I wait!

It doesn't take long for him to realize what he wants, what he needs. It comes to him within seconds. And then I hear him breathlessly whispering in my ear, "Jasper, please take me. Make me whole. Make me yours."

I reach for the nice shiny package nestled by my thigh, pulling it open with my teeth as his head lays on my shoulder, his breath warmly spreading over my shoulder and neck, making my body shiver with anticipation for him.

Once my task is completed, he lowers himself gently into my lap, spreading his thighs and pushing a little harder, forcing himself down on my shaft. My eyes close, cause my brain just cant take it much longer.

No matter how many times I enter this man, each time is like the first - powerful and overwhelming. Another tear rolls from my eye, over my cheekbone, and I can taste the salt on my lips at the same time.

Feeling Edward's lips and tongue swipe across them, wanting to taste for himself, he sighs into the kiss, tenderly taking my bottom lip between his teeth sucking slightly.

And still I wait.

He begins to move, slightly pulling and pressing himself back and forth, tugging at my hair, tightly grabbing it by the roots, enabling himself to raise off me. With my hands on his hips, my blunt finger nails pressing into him, pulling him back down, our groans and moans are getting heavier and thicker, taking over the atmosphere that surrounds us.

He chants my name in whispers, as I do his. The feeling is intense. It's like drowning in molasses - your limbs are moving slowly, your voice is heaving and awkward, your heart feels like its going to explode if given the opportunity. It's like watching something in slow motion, your brain not being able to catch up with the intensity of the situation, and all you can do and fathom is to try and hold on like your life depends on it.

Reaching between us, I surround his length with my long fingers, hearing him purr into my hair, giving me goose bumps and making me smile smugly to myself. He's slick and hard as I rub my thumb over the head, causing him to buck his hips, searching for the friction he so desperately needs. My other hand is in his hair, pulling him towards my face, licking his jaw and ear. I lean in, blowing hot breath over its shell, saying the words I know will send him over the edge, and what I know he longs to hear at this very moment, "Edward, if you come for me right now, I will fuck you so hard you'll think you've died and gone to heaven. Do you think you can handle that, sweetness?"

And then I feel it, my boy gets harder, if that's even fucking possible. I tighten around him, and he explodes, sending cum shooting between us, sticking to our now hot and sweaty bodies. Without giving him a second to recover, I take no mercy, steeling my hold on his hips. I start to buck upwards. He has nowhere to go. He can't move. All he has time for is to feel, and feel he does.

He's screaming my name, vowing to always love me and never live a day without me in it. I'm gone. I'm done. I cum so fucking hard, I feel it in my toes. They curl into the hardwood floors, causing a little pain to shoot up my leg. But right now, I don't give a fuck. I'm in heaven with my forever angel in my arms, and it will never get better than this.

We stay seated, holding each other while we calm, kissing softly while touching each other gently.

After a while, I reach over, taking the towel beside me. I'm able to wipe us down enough that we are able to stand and head for the shower.

Once cleaned and refreshed, we return to the living-room, cleaning and straightening as we go. Then we take Jake for a final walk, enjoying the afternoon stroll. We head back, expecting Rose and Emmett to return at any at their place, I retrieve two beers and join Edward on the couch.

Enjoying the ballgame and finishing up our beers with Jake at our feet, we hear the door. Jake's up like a bat out off hell, charging for the entrance as Emmett's booming voice fills the room, yelling for his baby to come see daddy. See, told ya the boy has a problem big time!

Placing our bottles on the coffee table, paying mind to use the fucking coasters (or Rose will have our balls) we stand.

Emmett's first to rush us, taking each of us in a bear hug. Fuck I swear the boy broke a rib. Note to self, have Edward check that out later. Rose enters, eying us up like we're horny teenagers caught by our parents on a school night.

I raise my eyebrow at her, giving her my best what the fuck look!

She looks around, taking in her surroundings, expecting to find something out of place so she can whoop our asses, but thank fuck all is in order, I feel myself breathing rapidly, wracking my brain, mentally making sure that all rooms are in order, feeling like a scared kid that's about to be scolded.

And then she begins. Raising her hands, she starts her rant: "Please, Jasper, please Edward... Please tell me you didn't fuck in my bed. Please tell me you didn't fuck on my kitchen counters. Please, please tell me before I have to run get the fucking Clorox and bleach every fucking surface in my house down."

I'm stunned, and I think Edward just went into shock. What the hell? Where the hell did this all fucking come from? Looking at her with anger now, I'm saying, "Rosalie Hale, you kiss your boyfriend with that fucking mouth. And no, we did not fuck in your bed or your kitchen. What kind of deviants do you think we are? We would never disrespect your home like that. As I hear Edward choke beside me, I look at him with a raised eyebrow and wide eyes, hoping he'll get my silent message to shut the fuck up.

She standing, staring at both of us, and I'm starting to get a little bit more than pissed off. Calmly I reach for my sister and pull her to me, giving her my usually brotherly hug, and she relaxes into my arms. I push her hair back from her ear and whisper, "Dearest sister, I love you to death. But if you ever speak to my husband or myself like we are children again, I will kick the living piss out of you while Emmett watches." Then leaning back, I smile, placing a soft, gentle kiss on her cheek, and she smiles in return.

"You know I love you, Jay. I just get excited, and you know how protective I can get over my apartment. I'm a princess and I love my castle."

After retrieving our overnight bags and saying our goodbyes with hugs, kisses and thank you's all round - Rose holding Edward a little longer, saying how sorry she was for her outburst, and telling him how much she loves him, but to remember that she is still a bitch and always will be - to which he agrees, laughing. We leave for home, each having to take our own car, but that's OK. We'll be in our own home soon, making dinner and watching a good movie.

We had contemplated telling Emmett and Rose about our plan for a baby, but had decided the best rule of play would be to inform our Mothers first, or we'll never hear the end of it.

Reaching our cars, I open Edward's door for him, throwing his bag in the back. Before he enters, I take this chance to once more take him in my arms, kissing him passionately.

Pulling away, he places his forehead to mine. "Love you, Jasper."

"Love you too, sweetness. Do me a favor: Remind me to call Emmett tomorrow."

Looking up, bewildered, he says, "Sure, baby, but can I ask why?"

I look at him, smirking. "Cause the man's a fucking genius, babe. A fucking genius."

Looking even more bewildered and confused now, he says, "Sure, babe. I'll take your word for it, and remind you, but you have to remind me to call Alice. We have to go talk to her and Riley, and get this show on the road."

I look at him, smiling. "Yes, honey. As soon as possible would be good."

Leaving the parking garage, we glance over at each other. He blows me a sweet kiss. Me, being the super dork that I am, pretend to catch it and place it on my lips. He smiles and drives off. I take a look in my rear view mirror, staring at the man looking back at me, and I frown, promising myself: Never again, Jasper Hale-Cullen. Never again will you be without this man in your life.

I drive off thinking of baby names.

I brake abruptly, staring once again in the rear view mirror... Fuck me. Jasper Hale-Cullen, you're going to be a father. Who would have thought...


	9. Its the waiting that kills

OK, so here I am sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, and I'm pondering.

Yes, people, pondering. Jasper Hale-Cullen fucking ponders, get the fuck over it

So here I am deep in thought... Is that fucking better?

Well any-who, again, here I am, sipping my coffee and thinking over our last month - that's how long its been since my week of shenanigans as Edward affectionately calls it! Total fuck up, if you ask me! Only seems like yesterday, doesn't it? But time fucking flies when you're having fun.

A lot has happened!

If nothing else, the make up sex has been awesome. I can't seem to get enough of my boy - to the point that I think I've borderline raped his fucking ass in his fucking sleep some nights...

With me always being so careful of how Edward feels when we are making love, I've been lucky to have the control to wait for a... "Yes, love, please," or a "Jasper, I love you. Take me now."

I've barreled in balls to the wall at times, just wanting to be buried deep in his heat, to hear my name full from his plush red lips, and in kind, he lets me.

He knows me full well, letting me own him, take him, and possess him.

Knowing the fact that he gives himself wholeheartedly to me with so much depth makes my heart melt. The boy's amazing, and deep in my soul, I know he was made for me and me only. I am a possessive fucker sometimes.

Also called Emmett, but only with Edward reminding me I had a call to make! Gotta love my boy.

All went well! Emmett telling me to shut the fuck up a few times, that he knew what I needed to do, he had only hoped I had the brains to do it -fucker- was he calling me stupid? Really! Emmett Dale McCarty calling me fucking stupid - the man thought of nothing else but football and sex.

What the hell am I saying? Sex is all I think about these days too.

But anyway, it went well! And I think I even broke down and told him I loved him. He responded with a deep chuckle, making me smirk... But he's still a fucker...

I had to also let him know that as long as my sister was happy, so was I! He laughed a little, informing me his only goal in life was to put a smile on Rose's face, so sighing contentedly, we hung up, me not forgetting to let him know that he was a God in my eyes, and I wouldn't forget what he did for Edward and me.

Edward also called Alice, and after the scream that came from the other end of the line (Shit now I know where Edward got his!). Just giving Edward time to regain his hearing, she told him how happy she was for us both, having him put me on the phone so she could congratulate me first hand.

The call was brief, full of wonder and woe for our future, Edward glancing at me from time to time with tears settling in his eyes. Sighing softly to himself and smiling tenderly, they ended the call, setting up a time for us all to get together that week to discuss the rest of this process.

After a little heated debate and a few promises of sexual favors (God I'm a weak son of a bitch, giving in to Edward - like who wouldn't, the guy's gorgeous, and as hot as fuck!), he was able to entice me with an offer I couldn't refuse - the promise of being taken care of by him for one whole night. Now tell me what kind of no good husband I would be if I turned my boy down, the promise of his long fingers and sweet lips were way too much, and I was weak, I tell ya, weak.

So getting the short straw, I called my mama first, rolling my eyes at Edward, as he's lovingly rubbing circles into my palm. Smug fucker. After a few short rings, she answers. Edward's staring at me with a smirk (What the fuck!). Letting her know the purpose of my call, I raise my eyebrow and he waits, cause he knows, he knows what's coming, and shit, that shit fucking hurts. What the hell, where do people learn to do this shit? Is there a fucking class I didn't know about? The God damn screaming! Didn't know the woman had it in her.

Pulling the phone from my ear, holding it in mid air, I barely regained my hearing. I watched through squinted eyes and frowned brow as Edward was unable to stop laughing... Fucker!

Pushing him away with a huff - how does the fucker always know this shit - I went and sat in my big armchair by the fireplace. He followed, squirming himself onto my lap, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck, twirling my curls around his finger and placing tiny baby kisses on my temple. If nothing else, the guy knew how to be a major suck up.

We both listened as mama spoke with pride and joy for her boys. She knew we could do this, and she had faith in our ability to be wonderful fathers, which would coincide with the fact that she would be the most outstanding, awesome grandmother there ever was.

I put Edward on to get his congrats. They spoke about colors and themes and whether to have a shower or not. Why the fuck wouldn't he have a shower. I'm so lost, fucker better have a shower if he wants any part of me. Anyway, once my mom finally let us hang up, it was Edward's turn, and oh my gravy, I thought my mom was bad, but it felt like his was in the same God damn room. She was so loud, the fucking windows shook.

After the parents knew, it made this decision a hell of a lot more real, and to say the least, I was a little apprehensive. Could I really do this?

I won't lie, meeting up with Alice and Riley made me nervous - not only going into the unknown, but the fact that Riley was on board with this, giving up his wife for another nine months was daunting to me. The fact that I had to face him, knowing our child would be carried inside her, scared the fucking shit out of me, and I would be waiting for him to try his best to kick the living shit out of me.

Our meeting went well, as well as could be expected. Inviting them over for dinner, Edward went all out, making all of Alice's favorites - fucking suck up! Told ya the boy was good, real good!.

But I have to give my boy his due, he did us proud. The table looked amazing and the food was delicious, and wine flowed freely... until it came to the point where the elephant in the room had to be addressed. Amazingly, Riley was the one to start this conversation.

Hearing his voice made my skin crawl with anticipation; my nerves had been on edge all night, waiting for someone to speak. Edward tried to calm me throughout the meal, rubbing circles tenderly on my back, giving me a small smile when I would look in his eyes.

"So you boys are starting a family, huh?" Riley asks, smiling.

Edward looks over at me and smiles, returning his gaze to Riley. "Yes, Rile, that's our intention!"

I glance over at him, stammering out, "As long as it doesn't cause you guys any inconvenience?"

Riley and Alice frown, then laugh gently to each other, Riley clasping her hand while entwining fingers, setting them on the table in front of them.

Riley's understanding gaze took me by surprise, and I felt a little ashamed of myself for thinking he wouldn't be on board with our little endeavor.

"Jasper, there is no inconvenience to us. It's our pleasure to help you guys out. What is family for? Needless to say, I'm just an on-looker; it's my wonderful wife here." He tenderly wrapped an arm around the back of her chair! "She's the one that will be doing all the work."

I look over at Alice with appreciation and adoration; she smiled back at me knowingly and lovingly. I knew what she was giving us, and just hoped I could show them in the coming months how much this meant.

Trying my best to look confident, I smile at them both, hoping my eyes are able to express the sincere gratitude I felt for them both at this moment.

Alice abruptly looked down, folding her hands on her lap, suddenly interested in the length of her nails. Riley looked concerned and pulled her closer.

It all but confused me until I realized what had made her feel uncomfortable.

A single tear had fought its way loose, and was making its journey down my cheek. Edward reached over, wiping it with his thumb. Leaning in, he places a tender kiss on the wet salty trail.

All I could do was stare at him and smile shyly, watching my reflection in his beautiful forest greens as they shimmered with emotion of their own.

No words were spoken, just a gaze of wonder and understanding, fear of the unknown, and belief in our faith and future. I needed this strength.

Knowing that no matter what, we would make it through this, our eyes flickered between each other's, and a soft sigh crept woefully from our slightly parted lips.

Edward tried his best to return my smile, still tenderly rubbing small circles on the center of my back to soothe my frayed nerves. With each full circle, he would clutch at my shirt, pulling me a little tighter to him, as if trying to soothe his own and ground himself in the process.

We have both come to the conclusion silently, that we are gung-ho, but scared shit-less. I sigh in relief, leaving me knowing we were both in the same boat.

All four of us talked for hours, sharing another bottle of wine and good conversion, Alice explaining what we should expect in the coming weeks and months, and Riley filling us in on funny pregnancy stories concerning Alice, making her flush and slap his lap from time to time; but all in all, it ended up being a relaxing night.

Alice called later in the week, informing us of all the information we needed for our upcoming appointments. She had offered to take control of the arrangements, knowing that Edward and I worked weird schedules.

We had both discussed it, and came to the conclusion that it would be safer, stating if we didn't, our phones would be ringing off the hook. This way, we would be saved the aggravation off Alice calling us twenty-four/seven, so we decided it would just be simpler to have her and her OCD tendencies lead the way.

The appointment went well from what I could understand. Everything was going as scheduled.

Thank fuck for Edward! The boy was a fucking Godsend! He was the one doing all the talking with doctors and nurses. My boy knew his shit... so I let him take the reins in this matter.

As I stood back and watched my boy work his magic, the more mesmerized I became, he was nothing short of a miracle. With his intelligence and beauty, you'd think the world would be jealous that so much was bestowed on just one person.

But I think once they get to know him, and realize how humble and naive he is, and that he really and truly has no idea the effect he has on people, the more they come to love him.

It scares me sometimes - the thought that people might try and take advantage of his kind demeanor. And because he is naive, that someone would try and play him. He would only laugh at my concerns, informing me that he was a big boy now and could take care of himself... Fucker

He is always so welcoming and understanding - the first to lend a helping hand. Maybe that is his gift, and what makes him such a wonderful doctor, husband, partner, lover, and friend. But still I worried.

The more I watched him, the more he amazed and astonished me. Every now and then, he would glance at me or squeeze my fingers a little, and all I could do was stare at him proudly. The boy is a fucking genius, I tell ya!

Being hot as all fuck with his sexy smirk and fuck-hot hair, I watched him skillfully work the nurses and, hell yeah, even some of the doctors, all of them looking my boy over like he was something to eat.

They watched in awe as he spoke to them and then relayed all questions and answers to me with understanding and concern. He explained in detail the upcoming process, gently touching my face with his finger tips and massaging my shoulder in a tender, loving manner.

As he explained everything to me, twisting one of my curls through his fingers and placing it behind my ear, the nurses would sigh, looking on with lust-filled eyes and cheese eating grins on their faces, commenting in whispers to each other how in love we must be, and that all the good handsome men were either taken or gay... Pink flushed our cheeks as we looked in their direction shyly.

But no matter how good his skills, the fuckers still wouldn't let Edward come in with me to hold my hand.

But at least a few of the nurses got a kick out of watching my pouty face and Edward's red cherry cheeks as he sat reading his magazine in the waiting area, using it to cover his face from time to time, pretending once again that he wasn't with me. Fucker...

As I continued to beg and stamp my foot like a five-year-old being led away, the little nurse just took me by the hand and led me down the hall as she laughed to herself while shaking her head from side to side.

And now all we can do is wait!

We went home that night having faith and hope that this process would work, knowing that it won't be long until we get the call from Alice telling us we were going to be fathers and that our little family would be at least heading in the right direction.

We were both exhausted. The mental anguish and physical fatigue were taking its toll. Sleepless nights up talking, worrying, hoping and praying that we would be given this chance were finally catching up with us both, and I could see it in my boy's eyes.

After dinner, I persuaded Edward to take a shower with me before bed, telling him I felt dirty having to jerk off into a plastic cup with nothing but porn - and not even the right fucking porn, mind you - telling him that I thought I might need therapy after being traumatized, and needed to fuck him wet to get the pictures of some ugly nude women out of my head.

With Edward still laughing at my antics, he prepares our shower, letting the water run hot. Meanwhile, I retrieved the towels from the hall closet.

Once in though, all worry leaves our bodies, the heat and steam soothing our stiff limbs and enabling us to clear our heads. Just being wrapped in each other is therapy enough for us, touching tenderly, kissing gently, placing his hands on my hips, rubbing circles into the bone. His lips travel to meet mine, cautiously licking the outline until my mouth does as he asks, parting gradually, giving his tongue permission to enter. I moan joyously onto his tongue, and he repays me by joining me in a deep, throaty groan.

Then his finger tips start to do a little traveling of their own, swiftly moving across my lower stomach, up my abs and across my chest, until he reaches my piercings, running the pads of his thumbs over them, making me hiss, gasp and groan, all in unison. Eyes shut, they seem to take on a life of their own. I have no control over anything. I'm giving into the sensation.

Tightening my grip on his waist, his name leaves my lips in a whisper, entering his as he inhaled. With our lips still joined, he pulls back momentarily. Taking a deep breath, he says, " Jasper, baby, I love you so much," reaching up to grab the hair at the nape of my neck.

I open my eyes slightly to glance at his heavy lids. "Sweetness, I love you too, no matter what."

Our kisses became eager, full off wantonness' and lust. Finger tips were nipping and pulling. Edward had a grip on one of my nipple rings, twisting and tugging, lowering his head every once in a while to lick, suck and kiss his teasing pain away, making my chest expand and swell with anticipation.

I was getting anxious and breathless; my hands cupping his smooth, taut ass, kneading the flesh with my fingers, to the point that I'm sure marks are being left. One hand reached for his soft as silk hair, yanking it by the roots until his lips part and he yells, "Fuck, Jasper" into the steamy room.

My lips crash to his in a heated, wet, teeth and tongue kiss. He's chanting my name, pulling my head closer and closer to his face. I wrap one arm around his waist, pulling him towards me. My other comes up under his thigh, hitching him up into the air until his legs are wrapped around me like the Jaws of Life.

I push back, feeling his back hit the tile. A groan leaves him and enters me in a rush of air, causing my head to fall back a little and spin. Shaking slightly, I gain control again, and commence my manipulation of his luscious lips.

He's sucking and kissing my ears and neck, biting, clawing and pulling on my hair. In pants, he's trying to tell me what he would like me to do to him.

I can't catch my breath. I'm rubbing against him frantically, begging him to tell me more of what he needs, beseeching him to let me know more of what he wants, gasping out breathlessly, imploring him to let me have my fucking wicked way with him, to the point that I think I will cry if he doesn't.

He pulls me by the back of the hair until we're face to face. His eyes are heavy, face flushed, lips swollen so bad, I think the boy's going to need an ice-pack. He cries," Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, I need you to fuck me. And show no mercy, baby, I need you to take me from behind."

My heart stops and my brain shuts down. This is a position we tend not to do too often... Fuck.

His head hits the tile behind him, and he's breathing radically. Eyes still shut, his chest heaves and he holds it for a moment before opening his black orbs, staring straight through me. "Jasper, will you do this? Will you do this for me? I need this right now!"

My head's still spinning, so I lean forward, resting between his shoulders, trying to calm my racing heart. "Jasssssssssper?" he whimpers, tugging on my hair lightly, and I nod. It's the only answer I can give.

He releases himself from my grip of death, lowering his feet to the shower floor and reaching for the lube that sits on the shelf by the shampoo.

He's holding my palm upright, and spending some on my now shaking as fuck fingers. He smiles at me. He knows. The boy knows what this fucking does to me. He knows my belly cramps and my knees knock at just the thought of him taking it from behind. He knows I love that primal shit... And here he is, giving it to me as a gift, and its not even Christmas or my fucking birthday. But I'm not arguing, and you'll get no complaints from me.

Yanking him by the arm, nearly pulling it from its fucking socket, kissing his shoulder tenderly to apologize... But it's his own fucking fault he's got me this way, and he did say no mercy. I turn him to face the tile, stretching his arms above his head, palms flat to the shower wall. He bucks back into me, giggling like a little school girl, shaking his ass from side to side. I smack the side of one of his cheeks, releasing a gasp and whimper from him, and I smirk. Show him, cocky little fucker.

Spreading his legs with my one foot, I pull him back by the hair, and a gravelly groan escapes from his chest. His head landing on my shoulder, I take his mouth and start to dominate. This is what he wants! This is what he's looking for! He wants to be owned, and I'm not about to waste any time on the lovey-dovey shit.

My fingers find their way to his ass. One enters him in one stealth like motion. Fucker didn't even sense it coming, and it kind of caught him by surprise, making him jump with a little yelp... And I smirk.

I pull him tighter to me, taking his ear lobe between my teeth as he hisses. I command him to keep his hands on the wall and not make a move. His knees buckle slightly as an "Oh my fucking God, Jasper!" leaves his lips.

I smirk to myself. My boy really doesn't know what's going to hit him! With that thought, another finger enters him. He growls, dropping his head between his shoulder blades, his arms trembling. I start to finger fuck him roughly. My other hand is still in his hair, tugging on the roots. He's gasping for air, whimpering, shaking. He's speaking, but I don't think it's in any way, shape or form, any part of the English language. I hear my name, with God and the baby Jesus, leave his lips in pants of air.

The boy is beautiful, amazingly sexy, and I tell him to bend over, still pumping my fingers into him. Leaning my chest to his heaving back, fingers still grabbing on his hair, I whisper low and rough in his ear, "Sweetness, do you know what you do to me when you're like this?" A primal grunt is his response. "Baby, do you know how much will-power it takes not to just fucking ram my cock right into your waiting and willing ass right now, when you're bent over like this wanting me?" Another grunt followed by a low whimper.

He's starting to rock back, his pale white finger tips pressed tightly to the shower wall, blunt nails scraping the tile. My hand is now on his hip, gripping it intensely before releasing him to apply the condom.

Abruptly, I remove my fingers, causing Edward to whimper lustfully. Dropping his head hard to the shower wall in front of him. He's breathing nervously. He's anxious. He knows that giving me the permission to show no mercy means just that, and the excitement is too much for him to handle.

I grab him by the hips roughly and ease my cock to his entrance. He steels himself. His back tightens as his head falls forward again. I push forward, not waiting for his words, and in one smooth move, I'm fully encased in his heat, deep. His ass is now on my lap, and my name staggers from his lips.

He feels like he's hyperventilating, his body shivering and trembling under my thrusts, my one hand back on his hip, the other in his hair. There are no loving words, no caresses, no gentle touches. This is all want and need, and no fucking mercy. I'm pumping and pulling, screaming his name at the top of my lungs, as he is mine.

He reaches for his cock, and I smack it away without missing a beat. I lean closer to his ear, fanning my hot thick breath over the shell, and he shudders, short gasps letting me know he's anticipating what's coming next.

"Sweetness, touch that cock and I stop!"

He grumbles to himself, telling me to go fuck myself, and he tries to reach for it again, cocky little fucker! And once again, I smack his hand away, and I swear, even from the back of his head, I could see and feel him pout! And I smirk.

Leaning in one more time, biting the ear lobe, this time I say, "Edward, you're going to spread those long ass beautiful legs of yours for me, you're going to brace your hands tight to the shower wall, and you're going to fucking cum with me relentlessly fucking you, and nothing else. Do you hear me?"

He nods, cause now he's not able to speak...

I feel him tense. His legs spread even further as his back curves inwards. He takes a deep breath.

I tighten my hold on his hips, breathe deeply, and I'm off to the races. I'm rounding go and I'm collecting two hundred dollars, and no mercy is seen or heard from ever again.

I'm relentlessly fucking him. I can feel the tightness in my stomach, knowing my release is not far off. The sounds of slapping and panting, heavy breathing and grunts, are all that can be heard. With one hand braced on Edward's shoulder, I dig my blunt nails into him he screams loudly, and I order him to cum and cum now! And holy fuck, he does - everywhere it can reach. And as his orgasm leaves his body, hitting the shower wall, mine leaves me in the same powerful and overwhelming way, emptying into his shuddering, shaking, shivering depths.

We're both spent, exhausted and weak. Turning Edward, I hold him close, enabling him to calm and cool himself down. His head's pressed against my chest, hot, sweaty breath clamming my skin, limp arms hang loosely from my neck. He's trying to gain some composure.

Struggling to help him, I affectionately massage his lower back, wanting to ease some of the pressure from our lovemaking.

Holding him tight to me, the water has started to cool. With a little frenzy and zeal, I clean us hastily, needing to get my boy warm and dry before we start to freeze. Pushing the hair back from his forehead, looking into his lazy forest greens while kissing his swollen lips oh so gently, I inform him that it's time for bed, both of us in need of some well earned sleep.

He smiles shyly, nodding his head. Exiting the shower, I dry both of us off before dressing Edward in a fresh pair of boxers, carrying mine in my hand as we leave the bathroom.

Taking him to bed, my boy's totally exhausted, and it's my place to take care of him. Pulling the covers back, I help him in, putting on my own boxers before turning out the light and slipping under the covers. Pulling him close as he cuddles into my side, I kiss his hair and he kisses my chest.

"Love you, baby."

"Love you too, Jasper." And we're out.

The days that followed were grueling. The anticipation and stress from the whole situation was driving both of us nuts. Alice would call each day, letting us know how she was doing. Being douche bags, we were always asking stupid questions like, did she feel any different? Did she feel pregnant?

With a small laugh and a sigh, she would inform us that if she did, we would be the first to know. And if her memory served her right, with her other two pregnancies, she had always felt the nausea first and a little discomfort in her tummy. So at the first signs, she will call us.

The waiting kills, and we all know how much of a patient man Jasper Hale-Cullen is. It fucking sucks balls, and it's driving me crazy. I know after this, we'll be waiting about nine fucking months, but it's waiting to hear that sucks big time. I would really like to know my boys made it home safely, if you know what I mean. Edward is trying his best to distract and console me, but it's got to be exhausting babysitting my sorry ass.

All I ever seem to want to do is jump his fucking bones. The poor guy's forgotten what it's like to wear clothes around his own home. As soon as I hear his key in the door and his ass through it, I'm on him, not even giving him a chance to remove his jacket.

Some nights I've even skipped out of the bar, pretending to run an errand, rushed home only to find him napping, then molesting his ass where he lay. Poor boy's exhausted, I tell ya. I know I'm wearing him thin, but I can't stop myself

I think when I fucked him senseless on our front hallway rug, that was the last straw for him. That's when he decided to put his foot down. Smirking at me, he stomped his foot, straightening the rug, and yelled breathlessly, "That's it, Jasper Hale-Cullen, no more! No more, I tell you! You're killing me here!" He marched off buck naked, heading for the shower, and all I could do was watch his sexy little ass exit and smile.

To say things were getting a little tense would be an understatement. Edward was as nervous as me; he was just able to deal better, and talk it through, trying his best to keep a level head. Me on the other hand, I was falling apart. I wanted to fulfill my boy's dream. I wanted to make him happy. And if this didn't work, I know he would be devastated, and the look of failure in his eyes would kill me.

The early afternoon of the day we were to hear from Alice if this was it... if the stork was paying us a visit? I was like a whore at Sunday service. I couldn't sit still. Asking Ben, my bar manager, to take care of the lunch rush after helping him carry the new kegs from the basement, I headed for the hospital, wanting to surprise Edward and take him to an early lunch.

I was hoping that we would maybe get the call while we were together - how fucking perfect would that fucking be, right!

The doors swing open as I enter, a few nurse's behind the desk wave and yell their hellos, beckoning me over in their direction to place kisses and give me hugs. These are girls Edward and I have grown up with - some even in the same high school class. That's the best thing about living in a small town: no surprises, everyone knows everyone.

They've all known forever that Edward and I were gay. For heaven's sake, we dated in school, and have never wasted time hiding or pretending we weren't. And to the best of my knowledge, everyone accepted us for what we were.

Over the years, new people have come and gone. With the surrounding area being built up over time, people moving from the bigger city wanting that small town feel, but still be able to commute for work. A few apartment buildings have popped up in the outskirts, even a new park for families. That happens to be where Rose and Emmett, live wanting the feel of a city, but enjoying the small town lifestyle.

So from time to time, you'll see a new face, but other than that, nothing much changes in our little town. Family and friends have stayed close, and with Edward's and my families being here, plus most of our high school friends still around, it was the place to be.

Life is slow, and at times downright peaceful. That's one off the reasons Edward and I decided to return home after college, knowing this was were we wanted to settle down, get married, and one day start a family. With my pub being the hip place to hang on the weekends, I make a fair living. And with Edward's salary, we are able to live comfortably. So all in all, small town life works for us.

I set out looking for my boy. I see Angela - Ben's wife. I knew she volunteered here a few days a week, so I wasn't surprised. She runs up, flinging her arms around my neck, placing a tender kiss on my cheek, asking me if we'd heard anything yet, I knew she was talking about some baby news, and that she was only asking from concern and love. As we were close to them and sometimes hung out, I didn't mind telling her that we hadn't yet. She gave me small smiles, rubbing my upper arm, telling me not to worry these things take time.

Saying our goodbyes, promising to hang out soon, I asked if she'd seen Edward. She pointed me in his direction, telling me she had just passed him.

Heading down the hall feeling happy and content, I remove my jacket. These fucking hospitals are so hot, no wonder everyone is fucking sick. Turn on the AC for fuck's sake, people.

Not even bothering to change before I left, I'm in a pair of work jeans, tank shirt and steel tipped boots. I look more like a God damn construction worker than the owner of one fine fucking establishment.

I spot him, and I'm stopped in my tracks. He looking oh so fuck-able in his long ass white coat, fuck-hot hair still standing on end - I can tell he's been running his fingers through it - knit black pants and shiny dress shoes. And don't forget the stethoscope. Can't tell you how many fantasies I've had about Edward and his stethoscope... But that's a whole other story, folks!

I hold off, cause he looks a little busy. There are a few doctors and a nurse standing around him, listening to every word he has to say, and I don't blame them, the man's a genius! Everyone has a report in their hands, and with each one, he passes back, another is given to him. They are sharing a few laughs, and I feel a little jealous that they get to hear his joke and not me, but I'm learning to share, so I just take a few deep breaths and continue to watch.

The tall, dark haired - well taller than either of us - doctor standing to Edward's right and laughing a bit too much and too loud for my fucking liking, turns towards Edward, a little too close, placing his hand on the middle of Edward's back. I see my boy tense. He's leaning in to whisper something in Edwards's ear... What the fuck! The tall doctor laughs, throwing his head back, and all Edward does is smile shyly...

Someone's going to be leaving this hospital with no balls, and it ain't me, mother fucker! Guess me learning to share just went out the fucking window.

I move in, wrap my arm around Edward's waist, nudging the big dude's arm away, giving him one of my best 'fuck you' looks over Edwards shoulder. Then I place a soft kiss behind his ear, at the back of his neck and he sighs, leaning his head back on my shoulder, whispering my name, turning to place a gentle, closed mouth kiss on my lips.

The big guy takes a step back, clearing his throat like he had something stuck in it.

Fucker, I'll stick something in it: my fucking fist, if ever he touches my boy again.

The other two doctors and the nurse smile, saying their hi's and hello's, shaking my hand. I turn to the big dude - sorry, I know he's a doctor, but right now he's a fucking dude, and he's about to get his fucking ass kicked by one pissed off me.

I raise my eyebrow at him, and with the Hale smirk - yeah dimples and all - I hold out my hand and say, " Sorry, didn't catch your name."

He swallows hard, not able to speak.

"I'm Jasper, Jasper Hale-CULLEN, Edwards's husband." Edward giggles and clears his throat, "Oh, my bad, hon, so sorry. Jasper, babe, this is Doctor Alec Volturi. He's new here - just started this week - I'm showing him the ropes."

"I'll show him the fucking ropes alright."

I raise my eye brow at doctor Alec fucking Volturi and give him a once over, and - what a smirky little fucker - he's doing the same to me. Hope he's getting a good God damn fucking look at the guy that's going to knock his ass into next week.

I'm staring right at him, and he's unable to make eye contact. One more reason not to trust the dude. I feel a tug on my other hand and look down at Edward. He's grinning from cheek to cheek, and once more he kisses my lips. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of my handsome husband being here today? Love?"

It takes me a few moments to realize he's talking to me. Shaking my head and pulling my hand away from the oh so tight hold I had on doctor fucking Volturi, I wrap both arms around his waist as he looks around shyly and say, "I want to take my hot husband to lunch! There's no law against that, is there?"

Heading for the cafeteria for a quick bite, Edward's talking away about his day and what it entails, showing Doctor Volturi the ropes. I think to myself, like I give a fuck what ropes are being shown to Doctor fucking Volturi! Just better not be my fucking boy's rope.

The guy just rubs me the wrong way, and I'd seen something in his eyes, something I didn't like, not one God damn bit. And if it fucking kills me, I'll get to the bottom of it.

Trying to clear my head and concentrate on the beautiful boy beside me, I give him a smile and a tender kiss on his luscious lips, sighing; we sit on opposite sides of the small table.

We're enjoying our lunch, talking about our day, Edward inquiring if I would be working late tonight, me telling him I didn't think so - I could leave early if it is slow. And then we hear it... And fuck, we freeze.

His phone is ringing, and all we can do is stare at each other forks frozen in mid air. I blink, he swallows, and still his phone rings.

Dragging it from his pocket, all he can do is stare. Closing his eyes painfully slow, he turns the screen to face me. I blink once, twice, and swallow hard. Fuck, its Alice. My heart stops, and I can feel the sweat run down the back of my neck.

Hitting the speaker button, he places the phone on the table between us. Reaching across, he clasps my hand in his, mouthing the words, "Love you."

I look down at our joined hands, licking my lips, as my mouth is now so fucking dry. I tighten my fingers with his, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I close my eyes, trying to gain some composure. Nodding my head in response, he squeezes a little harder.

We were jolted out of our reverie by Alice's loud ass voice screaming over the speaker: "HELLO?" We look down towards the table. "HELLO?" Both of us lean in closer to the phone between us. "HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE? EDWARD?"

Edward finally finds his voice. Clearing his throat, he speaks, nervously and tensely, with an anxious smile in my direction. Not breaking eye contact, he says, " Hi, sis, how are you feeling? Well, I hope! Jasper is here with me. We're having lunch." He sighs shakily, and I squeeze his hand a little tighter.

"Hi, Edward. Hi, Jasper."

"Hi, sweetie, you OK?" Do I really want to know?

"You both sitting?"

Edward's eyes go wide and he smiles. I don't, cause I'm not sure if I'm able. All I can do is nod. Stupid fucker! She can't see you...

"Well, I'm going to cut a long story short. I woke up this morning and felt a little off."

Are you fucking serious right now?

"After my shower and a little breakfast, I still couldn't shake the feeling."

She can't be fucking serious!

Edward senses my distress with a worried look of his own.

"Baby sis, I love you from the bottom of my heart, but you really have to cut this long fucking story short," he says.

I look over smirking at him. Potty mouth.

He smiles shyly back at me, raising his eyebrows with a "What?"

Shaking my head, I look back at the phone. "Go ahead, sweetie. Edward's just nervous."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

And still nothing. What the FUCK!

Trying to keep my tone light and the frustration out of my voice, I take a deep breath and say, "Alice, sweetie, do you have something to tell us?"

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry again. Yes I do I have news. You're pregnant. You're going to be Daddies. And I'm going to be an aunt. It's about fucking time, guys."

I close my eyes, bringing my hands to my face, and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. We did it. We finally fucking did it!

Looking through my fingers, I see Edward, silent tears rolling down his face, and the biggest shit eating grin I have ever seen.

I have never seen this much love and adoration ever shown by one person, but the way Edward stood reaching for me, taking me in his arms, holding me so tight with his face in my neck, sobbing, he whispers, "Jasper, you have just made me the happiest man on the face of this earth. And I hope I am able to show you each and every day until the day we die how much this means to me."

I pull him tighter to me, kissing his lips, trying to show all the passion and devotion I have for him. Pulling back, breathlessly looking into his eyes, I say, "Sweetness, you are the best thing that has ever came into my life, and I could never live with out you. If I can make you at least half as happy as you have made me, then I have fulfilled each and every one of my fantasies."

With big thank yous and well wishes to Alice, and promises to call later, we hang up.

Sitting back down at the little table, still holding hands, smiling widely at each other, we both say in unison, "Fuck me. Daddies."


	10. First Out Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first out take and I hope you enjoy and it leaves you wanting more.
> 
> This is after chapter 6 when the boys decide they need to make some purchases.
> 
> I want to dedicate this chapter to my good friend Bellemeer she has been holding her breathe for this one.
> 
> And as always I need to thank Debra Anne my wonderful Beta without her I would be lost and you guys wouldn't read.

Fuck! These lights - why are they so fucking bright? God damn it, are we supposed to be blind or something? What the fuck is with the God damn lights? I'm staring at the rows and rows of colors. What the fuck! I ask myself. It's too fucking hot in here. I'm sweating like a fucking pig. My head is spinning and my belly is churning like a God damn mother fucker.

I lean my hand on the shelving, just to control my breathing and get some self control. The fucking colors - blues, yellows, reds, greens and black. Black! Why the fuck black? I'm confused. I've never done this before. I knew this day would come, but I didn't fucking realize how hard this would fucking be, and I'm pissed.

What to do! What to do!

How the fuck do the girls do it! It's like picking a fucking lipstick for them... All the colors - do they just pick one and move on? Or is there a fucking girlie process that I don't fucking know about?

Once again with the blues and yellows; and shit I feel so fucking stupid. I wish I could make up my God damn mind. Girls come to mind again! OK its like picking mmmmmm... whats that shit called? The colored things? The thing they put on their eye lids thinking it makes them look hot. What the fuck is it called?

I look over... Edward's beside me, looking everywhere but at me... Fucker, pretending he's not even interested! Pretending he's not even with me! And fuck, pretending! I have to blink a few times. Pretending What!

He's holding something. He's pretending he's buying something. But what? What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is that he's holding? I'm fucking confused now.

Shit fuck me... Tampons. He's holding tampons! Pretending to read the back of the fucking box.

Edward is pretending he's not with me! But he's willing to pretend he's buying fucking tampons! Asshole.

"Edward," I say.

No answer. He's turning a slight shade off pink, I see a slight layer of sweat trace his forehead.

"Edward," I say again.

Still no fucking answer. His shaking hand reaches up and wipes his brow.

"Edwwwwwwwward," I whine with a smirk. Now I have his God damn attention!

He looks in my direction, nervously blinking, and tries to twitch out a small smile, making me swallow hard. I try my best to return it.

"Whats that shit girls put on their eyes? You know what I'm talking about, right? The colored stuff?"

He looks at me like I've lost my God damn mind. Then it must have dawned on him, and he raises his eyebrows in understanding.

"Eyeshadow, Jasper. Is that what your thinking about? Eyeshadow?"

"Bingo!" I point my finger at him. "Fucking bingo, Edward." That's it! Fucking eyeshadow.

"How the hell do they pick one from all those fucking colors?"

He's still looking at me in bewilderment and confusion.

"Your thinking of eyeshadow right now, Jasper?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, why?"

"You do realize how gay you just sounded, right? I actually think that was beyond gay. You just made gay look even gayer, Jasper." And he starts to laugh... at me... Fucker!

I grab him by the arm, pulling him closer to me. Grabbing his tampons, I throw them to the floor.

"Tampons, Edward? Really? Who the fuck is gayer than gay now, dude?" He slaps my bicep, giving it a little squeeze. "What? You on your fucking period? Should I be happy you're not fucking pregnant? Thank fuck! I dont have to marry your ass in a shotgun wedding!"

I chuckle... "Now mister man, let's get down to business, sweetness. Let's get this done!" and we turn our attention to the shelves.

Now we're both staring at the rows of colors... blues, yellows... and black. Fucking blacks. Why can't I stop thinking of the blacks? Are they for black men? Can't believe I just thought that! Why the fuck would I think that? Cause if that were the case, wouldn't they be brown? Not black! And as for that matter, who are the fucking blue ones for? Smurfs?

I start laughing. Heads are turning to watch the crazy guy laughing in the condom aisle, cause it's not only a laugh, it's a nervous laugh, a little high pitched, and I think everyone can sense it.

I steady myself by putting my arm around my boyfriend's waist. Yes, you heard me right! Boyfriend. I think once you've seen each other naked and finger fucked to orgasm (and should I say one of the best orgasms they ever had!) you have the right to call them your boyfriend. Just saying.

It's only been a few days since our shower, but we have a big weekend coming up. His parents are going out of town, and I'm fucking sleeping over! Yep, you heard me, sleeping over!

His mom called mine, and it's all a go. I'm not saying my mom didn't raise an eyebrow at me. And all I could do was smile, tryimg to make it look all innocent like! But she saw right through me. Fuck.

I got a lecture after that, on being respectful of my surroundings and the people in them, making sure I knew what I was doing and getting into. She likes the Cullens, and she loves Edward, or what she has seen of him, but nonetheless, she didn't want this to turn into something that couldn't be fixed.

I told her I understood her fears, and explained that Edward was gay, but yet to sit down with his family and explain it.

Oh my God, I just lied outright to my saint of a mother. I'm definitely going to hell now. I thought to myself.

But I continued anyway. Hell, I tell ya! Hell!

"So that's where I come in. I was going to help him with his fears," I'm explaining to her, trying to show a little confidence, all the time thinking to myself, Fuck am I going to help him with his fears this weekend - the things I'm going to do on that boy. My dick twitched at the thought, and I gulped hard, plopping down on the couch with a huff, trying to disguise this fact from Mama.

Putting my head in my hands, I think to myself, "But who the fuck is going to help me with mine?"

She nodded in understanding, then lets the subject drop. Thank fuck.

So here we are... making some purchases!

Well I am. Edward's just being a douche and pretending this doesn't involve him. Fucker!

So we stand and we stare - so many fucking colors to chose from.

"So what ya think, Edward? Do you have a preference?" I say, giving his shoulder a small massage, trying to ease his tension.

His hand tightens around my waist. God he's so cute. Love this boy! I place a small kiss in his fuck-hot hair, inhaling his glorious scent.

Looking up all shy, with wonderment and excitement, he has as much of a clue as I do. It's like the blind leading the blind. "Aha!" Maybe that's what the fucking bright lights are for... the blind!

I give myself a chuckle. This is so unbelievability fucked up, and getting ridiculous.

He picks up a few boxes, examining them, turning them in his hands and pretending to read the back.

Like that's going to fucking help!

"See anything you like, Edward?"

He looks at me again and smiles... "I don't know, Jasper. I don't know how this works. Do we have to choose a color?"

"Anything but fucking pink, Edward!" We start laughing nervously again.

He holds up the neon ones and laughs harder. Nervously, his voice starting to crack a little, he says, "How about these, Jasper. You can light up in the dark. It would be like pin the tail on the donkey." Then whispering anxiously, "At least you'd know if you were in... umm.. the hole." Looking up at me shyly, I raised an eyebrow as he continues "Umm... well the light would go out, right?"... And he closes his eyes slowly, damp lashes hitting his cheeks.

Staring at Edward in shock, I feel my throat close and my mouth go dry! We both want this, but to say we're scared is an understatement.

I grab him and pull him close, kissing his forehead, trying to ground myself. But I have to be honest with my boy.

"Edward, it will take more than a neon fucking condom and a game of pin the tail on the donkey for me to make sure I'm doing this right."

He looks up through his long ass lashes at me and swallows hard. I give him a smile, kissing each eye-lid. "I know, Edward! I know." I pull him tighter to me... cause shit, I do know.

He's scared shit-less, and so the fuck am I. This is a first for both of us, and God knows I want it to be right and feel right for us both. I really don't want to even think off hurting my boy, and it scares the shit out of me, to the point that my belly is in a constant state of cramps.

Trying to lighten the moment, Edward looks at me and kisses my lips softly. "Jasper should we worry about size?" I look at him struggle...

"Size Edward. What size?"

" The size of the condom, Jay. It should be important, right?"

Then I noticed. Shit, these things do come in sizes - no one size fits all. They have small, "regular" and large, some even extra large.

Well fuck me sideways. I'm sure to be extra large! I chuckle to myself.

Edward gives me a sideways glance. "Extra large, Jasper? Really? Don't flatter yourself!"

Its like the fucker knew what I was thinking! And once again, I laugh, and this time he joins in.

Picking up the large, he then looks at my crotch, holding the box of large neon pink condoms to it. I laugh harder, slapping his hand away. "No fucking neon, Edward! and definitely not fucking pink!" We both snort out a laugh. This is getting ridiculous.

We stand and stare once again.

"Not as easy as we thought, huh, Edward?"

He looks over at me, "No, Jasper, it's not. What the fuck are we going to do? I thought we'd be in and out by now."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I smirk, raising an eyebrow at him, and he slaps me.

"Don't you think of anything other than sex?"

I hold him closer. "No, I don't. And I can't think of anything other than having sex with you. It's the only thing I can think of right now!"

I smile nervously at him.

"Me too, Jay. Me too." Squeezing me tighter, he lays his head on my shoulder.

I place a kiss on his temple to let him know I share his anxiousness and worry, but also to make him understand that we'll get through this together.

Something clicks in me, and I get a thought. Looking over the shelves I see it.

"Get on your knees, Edward!" He looks at me shocked, whispering, "Jasper, no..."

"Get on your knees, Edward!" I say more sternly.

"Jasssssssper, I can't." He's eying me nervously.

He leans into me, saying, "Babe, as much as I would love to have your cock in my mouth, and am getting excited about sucking you off, I don't think this is the time or the place!" his face all red and nervous.

"Edward," I say, now smiling, "I dont want you to suck my dick in the middle of the fucking drug store! As much as that would be fulfilling one of my fantasies with you, it's not the time or the place, as you say. I want you to go look for lube, and it's on the bottom shelf, sweetie. And for that, you need to get on your knees." I smirk.

And again he slaps me. He really has to cut out the fucking slapping shit.

So here we are, Edward on his knees and me hovering above him, staring at the God damn shelves again.

I grab his soft as fuck locks, not able to contain myself, and yell, "Edward, while your down there!" pushing his face into my crotch.

He gasps and pushes away!

"Jasper, stop! You're such an ass!" Pushing me away harder from him: "If you dont stop your shit, Jasper Hale, I swear your dick will never see the inside of my mouth... EVER."

He looks up all fucking cocky, and I let him go swiftly, like he's just poked me with a pin, looking at the palm of my hand to see if he's left a mark.

Feeling my face flush, I look around, hoping no-one noticed, cause God and the sweet baby Jesus know the second thing on my list is to have my cock between Edwards sweet cherry lips, and there's no fucking way I'm messing that shit up.

He returns his attention to the shelves, giggling cockily to himself... Fucker.

"What one do I pick, Jasper? They're all so fucking different!" he says, looking up.

"I don't know, Edward. What one would you like?"

"Huh? Why do I have to like it? Don't you have to like it too?"

"Yes, Edward, but for now, let's go with what you want!"

He looks down again, pulling out boxes, once again reading the fucking back, thinking that shit's going to help him out. Sometimes the boy worries me!

"Hot and tingly," he says.

"Huh?" I say, looking down.

"What about hot and tingly?"

I think for a moment then say, "Really, Edward? Think about it!"

Edward looks up, confused.

I bend over and whisper in his ear, "Sweetness, do you really want hot and tingly in your ass the fist time I take you?"

He thinks about that and his face registers everything: the burn, the sting, and maybe the pain, and I see his eyes start to water. Then slowly, and with a shaky hand, he places the box back on the shelf. "Hot and tingly is out then!" he says, gulping down saliva. I smile now, slapping the back of his head... Silly fucker.

Edward grabs a box, looking content in his choice. He stands, showing it to me with a shit eating grin on his face, and I can't help but return his sentiment. And then we hear it - and shit - we freeze.

The booming voice invades the silence of the store, and all heads turn in its direction. Needless to say, in ours also... Fuck.

"YO GUYS."

I turn sheepishly. Fuck me backwards - with no lube or mercy! It's fucking Emmett. What the fuck!

I pull Edward with me in the direction of the voice. His legs are unable to move on their own right now, so he ends up spinning on his heels.

"YO, JASPER. EDWARD, WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS DOING HERE?"

"Jassssper," Edward whispers with a whine from my side. I pull him closer, grabbing the lube and quickly placing it back on the shelf.

"Its OK. I'll handle this. Don't worry, sweetness." He sighs softly, relaxing the tension in his shoulders a little.

"YO BROS! WHAT YA DOING?" he booms, approaching us.

Think, Jasper, think! my mind is reeling and my vision's a little blurry. Shit! What do I say?

"Hi, Em, fancy meeting you here. You alone? Or is Rose with you?" Looking at the space behind him, over his shoulder, I hope to God he's alone.

After following my stare in confusion, he returns his focus on us.

"NAH, GUYS, NO ROSE. I'M HERE ALONE. TIME TO STOCK UP ON SOME SUPPLIES, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN." Winking, he eyes the condom shelves.

Then I see it on his face. It dawns on the fucker, and he takes a step back, smirking to himself. And once again, Edward freeze's. Fuck!

I take his sweaty hand in mine, and he squeezes my fingers to the point where I think I'm losing circulation. I squeeze back gently, trying my best to soothe his nerves.

Emmett raises his eyes and stares. We follow his stare to the banner above our heads, indicating in big, bold letters what aisle we're in. "Condoms and lubes." Fuck...

We make eye contact again, each of us looking like deer in headlights. But the fucker Emmett has a fucking big ass grin on his face like he knows it all.

"OH MY FUCK! YOU GUYS ARE HERE TO BUY CONDOMS AND LUBE RIGHT! AM I RIGHT?"

"Fuck, Emmett! Shut the fuck up!" I growl quietly, looking around, hoping we didn't have a fucking audience.

"NO, YOU GOTTA TELL ME, BRO. AM I RIGHT? YOU FUCKERS ARE GOING TO DO THE NASTY!"

I feel Edward wobble a little. He's losing his fight to stay conscious. Putting my hand under his chin, raising his eyes to mine, I kiss him tenderly and smile. "It's OK, baby, we have nothing to be ashamed of! I love you." His eyes widen, and he smiles back, straightening his shoulders just a little to face Emmett.

"Emmett just shut the fuck up. You have everyone staring at us, and it's really none of your God damn business what we're here for. And anyhow, shouldn't I be asking you the same question? Why are you in the condom aisle? It is my sister your dating, right?" And now it's my turn to fucking smirk.

"I-I-I" now a little quieter than his usual booming blabber, which makes me smirk even more. "I... umm-mm... I... just wanted to be prepared. You understand, bro, right? Please tell me you understand." He's pleading!

Smiling at him, I place my other hand on his shoulder. The one Edward still has a grip on has no feeling now whatsoever. I squeeze his shoulder sternly before opening my mouth.

"Emmett, I understand fully, and am very relieved you're being safe. But believe me when I tell ya, you do anything to my sister before she even utters the words telling you that you can, I will hunt you down like the dog you are, rip out your throat and cut off your fucking balls, then feed them to the wolves. Do you understand?"

He smiles shyly, lowering his head, looking at the floor and nodding like one of those bobble head thingies on a car dashboard.

And once again, we all stand looking at each other timidly. Emmett grabs a pack of condoms, waving his goodbyes and leaves.

"LATER, BROS! GOOD LUCK!" he yells as we watch his back exit the aisle.

Turning Edward to me, I pull him close, and he relaxes into my embrace, looking up at me questioningly. I raise my eyebrow in return, and I wait. The boy has something to say.

"You love me, Jasper?"

I smile crookedly, biting my bottom lip.

Pulling him tighter, kissing his oh so luscious lips, I answer, not having to think long or hard. "Yes, Edward, I love you with all my heart!"

He sighs softly into my neck, pulling me close. "Love you too, Jasper, with all my heart!"

We both sigh contentedly! Just knowing is overwhelming, and we need to take a minute to digest, so we stand wrapped in each other's embrace.

Then it dawns on me. Emmett, the fucker that he is, was here two minutes, and left with condoms in hand. Edward and I have been here for what feels like two fucking hours, and we're still empty fucking handed. What the fuck? Where's the justice in that?

Standing straight, I pull Edward by the shoulders and face the God damn fucking shelves once more. I grab the lube and put it back into Edward's waiting hands as he smiles over at me.

Then I take a step back and give the row a once over, finally deciding to make a choice, grabbing a box of nondescript condoms from the shelf, making sure they have extra lube, cause you just never know, it might come in handy - every little bit helps, right? Always be prepared; that's my motto. Also making sure I grabbed the large - don't want to be a cocky fucker just now - I turn to Edward and smile.

We make our way to the front of the store. Edward's nervously eying everyone, scared that we might bump into someone else we know from school, or even worse, a fucking teacher. I try and reassure him, but it's not working. He's way beyond giddy right now, losing what's left of his mind.

I tighten my grip on his hand and move him closer to me. Smiling softly in his direction, he smiles back in return, but it's not reaching his forest greens. I lean over and whisper, "Sweetness, we have nothing to worry about. There is no shame here. Please understand."

"I understand, Jasper I do! I'm not ashamed. I just don't like the fact that people will know our business."

Thinking to myself, I smile cockily and turn to Edward. "Honey, if I promise you that this will be the last time we ever have to do this, will that make you feel better?"

He looks at me quizzically, but smiles giving me a slight nod. "Promise, Jasper?"

"I promise, babe. I promise." I pull him tighter.

As we get nearer to the register, Edward starts to grab shit, piling things into my hands - Tic-Tac's, gum, dental floss and a People magazine. I look at him weirdly, and he shrugs. Grinning at me, he says with a little amusement in his tone," Well, you never know. We might need those things too.

And we both crack up laughing as the lady behind the counter raises an oh so perfect eyebrow in our direction. She proceeds to ring us up, no questions asked.

Leaving the drug store hand in hand with my boy, purchases in the other, I make a note to self, Look into what it would take to acquire a postal box, and how the hell can I order condoms and lube online?

I put the purchases in the messenger bag, placing it over Edward's shoulder before kissing his forehead. Climbing onto my bike, Edward slips in behind me, and we drive off.

He holds me tighter, yelling from behind me, "So, this weekend, babe?"

I take one hand off the bike and place it over his that is placed on my chest. I sigh heavily. Turning slightly, I yell, "Yes, sweetness, this weekend."

Fuck me. I'm gonna fuck Edward!


	11. Alec Vol? Vel? Val? Whatever

Hanging up my fucking phone, I shoved it roughly back in my jeans pocket. I'm pissed - really fucking pissed. But pissed might just be the biggest fucking understatement of the decade.

I should be able to bask in my own fucking happiness and blessedness without someone trying to stick his dick in my fucking beer.

Edward sounds so God damn happy, he hasn't been able to shut the hell up this past week. Doing his very best to show me in every way possible how proud and grateful he was that I could get over my trauma and shoot straight into that fucking plastic cup.

Shit the thought still sends shivers up my fucking spine, and believe me when I say I am still milking that baby for all its worth.

My boy's ecstatic, and I can't blame him. He's over the moon, all happy as a pig in shit. He wants to share his joy, and that's all that matters to me.

It's not him that's got me aggravated, or the fact that his buddies from work want to join him at the pub tonight. It all sounds wonderful, and I'm elated that the gang is happy for us and just wants to wish us well.

It's the idea of Doctor Alec Volturi ever setting foot in my establishment. The guy just rubs me the wrong fucking way, and I can't seem to shake it.

Ever since I met him and had to stand back as the fucker purposely tried to touch and whisper with his dirty ass lips into my boy's ear, close enough to lick it, I've wanted nothing more than to cut his fucking balls off with a plastic butter knife.

I've been in a constant state off pissed the fuck off at even the thought of him breathing the same air as my boy. It's slowly making my old insecurities resurface, and I'm hating myself for it. It makes me feel weak, and I don't like to feel weak. And God damn, I won't be weak.

Tonight shouldn't be too bad. The crowd should be fairly easy to control with a few waitresses plus Ben and me. All in all, we should be fine. My staff should be able to control our clientele, enabling me to keep an eye on the oh so overly zealous Doctor Fucking Volturi.

Ben comes around the side of the bar, and I let him know about Edward and the gang gracing us with their presence tonight, and with that, he reaches under the closest bar tap, retrieving the reserved sign and placing it on the booth off to the side. It's big enough to hold them, and close enough for me to keep a watchful eye over my boy and the asshole Volturi. Believe you me, I have no intentions of letting him out of my sight.

I find myself getting very fucking anxious, with the anticipation getting the best of me, but try to remain calm. I really don't want to fuck this up. The ramifications if I'm wrong are way too devastating to think of, and for the sake of my marriage and Volturi's balls, I'm hoping my suspicions are dead wrong.

So I grab my phone again, hitting the speed dial button, hoping for a little relief from my nerves and anxiety.

His boisterous voice still gets me after all these years. His energy can be felt, even when you're not in the same room, and I find myself smiling, knowing at the other end there's a big ass grin coming right back at me.

Hanging up, I felt a little better. They accepted my invitation to join us, and if nothing else, Emmett will put my shit into perspective, and he will definitely tell me if I have anything to worry about. As for Rose, without even saying anything to her or asking, she will just point my crap out whether her opinion is wanted or needed.

It's not that Alec worries me. I don't see him as competition. God knows I've had my fair share over the years. Edward and I have been together most of our lives, and have had to go through high school and college, so the temptations have been their for both of us. But no matter what, we've always remained true to one another.

But I cant deny it, my boy is beautiful both inside and out. His strengths and presence are unable to be matched, and as for his gorgeous face and fuck hot hair, what's not to want? I only have a problem with people who know he's married, and still try to pursue him. Now that shit really pisses me the fuck off.

It used to scare the shit out of me, that he would realize that he could do so much better - maybe waking up one morning, feeling like he'd made a huge mistake, and would finally kick me to the curb. Let's face it, people, this is Edward-freaking-Cullen we're talking about.

But over the years of living with and loving him madly, I have found out that Edward just wants honesty, respect, loyalty, and above all, trust. And he has told me more times than I can remember that he has found that in me, assuring me always that he is mine, and mine only.

I remember back in college, while watching a movie or some shit like that - I can't remember much really, cause basically I was too busy watching Edward...

I'd been thinking for weeks on how to ask Edward to marry me, or wondering if he even wanted to. And it scared the living shit out of me. I was constantly nervous and uneasy, making me feel weak. Shit, I hate weak. The whole situation was driving me fucking crazy.

So any-who, we're in our dorm, lying on the couch, watching some TV show as Edward lays lazily across my lap, me finger fucking his hot red hair, daydreaming, nearly putting him to sleep, his eyes closing every once in a while, his red cherry lips parted, with small gusts of air escaping his lungs.

I glanced down and started to stare. Let's face it, the boy is pretty, with his forest green eyes, perfect pale skin, striking features, and let's not forget that fuck hot hair. Without a doubt, the boy is amazing, and downright breathtaking.

As I continued to stare, Edward noticed that I was no longer interested in the show, and turned his gaze on me. After realizing I'd been caught, I managed to give him a small smile with a flush on my cheeks. He smiled in return, but noticed shyly that I continued to stare, getting lost in my thoughts and fantasies, causing him to flush as well.

With a questioning "What?" he continued to shyly smile.

"Oh, nothing. Just watching you, cause I love ya. Oh, and yeah your fuck hot ta boot." I teased him with a wink.

"Love you too, Jasper. Always will, baby, and not just because you're fuck hot." Giggling, he leaned up, cupping the back of my neck for leverage, kissing my lips tenderly.

"Edward?" I whispered as he pulled back.

"Yes, love, what's on your mind?" Twisting his body in my lap, giving me his full attention, his eyes sparkled in my direction.

I sighed softly, trying to settle my nerves, swallowing hard before I return his gaze. My breath hitched once again, and I felt my chest tighten under the strain.

"What does love mean to you? How do you know you love me so much? And why?"

I swallowed hard, not knowing if I wanted an honest answer, but hoping and praying for the best possible one.

He left my lap, sitting up straight to face me, caressing my face with his hands, placing a tender kiss on my forehead, nose, and lips, licking them as he leaned back to look me over like he was viewing my features for the first time, and finally resting his gaze on my eyes.

Lifting himself above me, straddling my thighs, he pressed into me, clasping his hands behind my head, closing his eyes, his tongue coming out to wipe over his bottom lip, causing it to shimmer, making me groan, getting caught up in his sweet display. His eyes fluttered open, full of intensity and passion.

He voice was syrupy deep and thick, almost a whisper - so soft and rough I had to stop breathing just to hear him. His forest greens glistened with so much emotion and love, I got lost in his gaze. But then he pulled me from my reverie.

"Jasper, Jasper, oh my Jassssper, Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to. And in you, I've placed my trust."

My heart stopped for a moment and my breath gushed from me like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I was willing my tears not to fall, but they failed me, and let loose like a raging river, causing my bottom lip to quiver automatically. And I swear I did the fucking ugly cry, but at that moment, I couldn't give a shit.

I crushed my mouth to his and dominated his lips with as much passion and desire as I could muster, trying to tell him I agreed wholeheartedly.

Edward pulled me to him tighter, trying to soothe my now shaking form. "Shussssh... baby, dont cry please," he beseeches me. "I trust you. I love you. If my heart had legs and walked this earth, it would have a full head of curly blond hair and the most beautiful vivid baby blues."

As he tenderly pushed my now sweaty locks from my forehead, enabling him to drop a soft wet kiss on my skin, he continued, "Cause in you, I see my heart - the heart that you now own, and have promised to take care of forever. And I trust you will."

Then his forehead fell to meet mine.

It was nice to finally know that he loved me for me. And because he trusted me to take care of him, and asked for nothing more than for me to love him with all my heart. I did, and I couldn't imagine my life without my boy in it.

That night was a turning point for us mentally, physically, and relationship-wise. We asked some serious questions of one another, and got a lot of truthful answers in return.

Edward explained why he loved me so deeply, how much he admired my strength and passion, and when he looked into my eyes, he saw so much hope and passion for our future, there was no denying where he belonged.

He explained how he was endeared by my overprotectiveness and possessiveness of him, making him feel wanted and loved, making me laugh a little. I sighed a small sigh off relief that I wasn't overbearing in my goal to create our perfect little existence.

He smiled wearily as he explained in depth his fear of ever losing me, of waking one morning to find me gone, not wanting his sorry, clingy ass anymore. He thought that with us being together so long and being so young, and him having placed all his trust and need in me, that I would one day not want to take care of him in the way he had come to expect, and the thought of losing me scared him.

He worried that I would see right through his neediness for me, and that I would tire of it. He was overwrought with fear that someone else would catch my eye and steal me from him, desperately wanting me to understand how lost he would be without me.

My arms tightened their hold as I shusssshed his falling tears, relaying my own same concerns, trying to add some comfort and letting him know that we shared the same pain and fear.

I explained that I loved him so much and so deeply that I never wanted him to want for anything, and that I had made it my mission to fulfill his every wish and command, hoping deep down that he would never find that want or need in another person.

He shook his head wildly, trying to convey that there would be no other for him. He smiled, teary-eyed, before placing his lips to mine, softly caressing them with his tongue, purring into the feel of our lips blending so seamlessly, breath releasing from one of us, and in a heartbeat, entering the other, knowingly sharing even the same air.

My hands found his ass, pulling him tighter to me. His thighs squeezed mine, securing my body under him as he tugged at the hair on the nape off my neck, as he reaches between us, and not for the first time. But I've grown to understand the sentiment after all these years. Placing his other hand over my heart, and one of mine over his, in a careful passion-filled whisper, with a longing, caring look, he says, "This is mine, Jasper Hale," he pressed gently with his finger tips, "as this is yours." He moved, causing me to press mine gently to him.

We kissed and touched, roaming and feeling, just wanting to be one, just wanting to belong. We whispered words of love and hunger, need and caring. We kissed each other's tears and stole each other's small smiles. We were breathless and needy, finger tips clawing and nipping, trying to reach depths that have never been touched or seen by any other human hands or eyes.

Leaning back exhausted and spent, forehead to forehead, trying to regain our composure and cool our overheated skin, I heard Edwards breath falter. His heart was beating so fast, his chest was hitting mine repeatedly. I was scared shitless, cause I thought he was hyperventilating, and pulled him back to give his form a quick once over.

He laid his hands on my chest, signaling with one finger to give him a moment. I inhaled deeply, trying to make the look of concern leave my face as I stared nervously at my beautiful, sweaty, overheated boy.

His hands wandered up my chest, along my neck, over my cheeks and into my hair. Blunt fingernails scratched my scalp. I groaned from the sensation as his eyes fluttered open, and oh my gravy, they're black and dark, and a little fucking scary.

Edward smiled, showing me every perfect white tooth in his oh so perfect as fuck lucious mouth, and I cant think of anything to do but smile back. His fingers still scratched circles in my hair, causing my eyes to slowly close and reopen under his manipulations. He leaned in to kiss my lips, his smile now a smirk, as I pulled up to accept his mouth. My heart stopped under his words and I gulped loudly.

"Jasper, -kiss- I want you so badly. -kiss- I want to feel you. -kiss- I want to possess you as you do me. I long to feel your heat around me. Will you teach me how to please you, and do me the honor off bottoming for me?"

I looked up in shock and total amazement. Edward had never voiced his need or want to top in our relationship,and I had never found it in me to push him on this matter. Had I thought of it? Hell yeah! To the point off driving myself crazy some nights. But I had come to realize that we had excepted our roles, and was just content to be, so I left well enough alone...

Until that very moment.

My mind raced along with my overzealous heart, and I felt the sweat run down the back of my neck,. I wasn't nervous, I was excited - fucking overly excited - at the prospect of having Edward take me, own me, claim me as his.

He leaned back shyly, smiling, willing his forest greens into my soul as he continued rubbing my hair, knowing it would relax me and help me think.

I smiled widely at him, pulling him tighter, crushing my lips to his as I nod furiously into the kiss, hoping that he understood, and that I could convey to him what it meant to me.

He leaned back, grinning, and let out a small sigh."Let me take you to bed, baby, and show you how much I love you."

Taking my hand, he led me to our bedroom, rubbing tender circles over my knuckles as he started to sing quietly to himself,making me smile as I pointed out earlier that night had been a turning point for us, mentally, physically and relationship-wise...

Edward has always made it very clear that I have nothing to worry about. He has never purposely put himself out there, and has always acted like a perfect gentleman. But as I pointed out before, my boy has a tendency to be a little naive, and doesn't pay enough attention to know when others weren't being gentlemanly to him.

And that's when I have to step up to the plate and kick some ass. But over the years, I've been able to keep it under the radar, not causing much of a fuss. It might be just a whisper in someone's ear or a blunt 'Fuck the hell off' at a bar, but I always got the job done quietly and peacefully.

I just have a feeling in my gut, I'm going to have a harder time with Volturi, if what he's after and up to is what I'm thinking. This just might get ugly.

Wiping the bar down one last time, I hear them enter. I'd recognize Angela's laugh a mile away. Breathing deeply, I turn to greet them, putting on my best Jasper Hale-Cullen smile. Yeah, yeah, you know it. Dimples and all, people, dimples and all. My Mama didn't raise no moron.

Shaking hands and sharing hello's with the doctors and a few nurses, getting kisses hugs and congrats, I escort them to their booth, seeing Volturi out of the corner of my eye, intending to save that fucker for last.

I turn to see Edward - shit, the boy still steals my breath and melts my heart - smiling madly at him as he returns it kindly, I pull him in for a hug. My dick twitches, but I choose to ignore it, deciding to just be in the moment, wanting just to surrender to the feeling of his tender touch.

He has removed his jacket, hanging it on the hook on the wall beside the booth, proceeding to wrap himself around my chest, pulling me tighter to his body as he slips his cool hands under the hem of my t-shirt and up the lean contours of my back, making me shiver. I hear and feel him inhale deeply, breathing in my scent as I do his. He relaxes into my hold as his damp spiky hair tickles my nose, smiling to myself at the sensation.

His head rests on my shoulder as his lips kiss the crook of my neck, teeth nipping gently at my skin. Tilting his head upwards, he continues his journey, peppering small kisses along my jaw line until he reaches my lips, his tongue sneaking out to part mine. Bending to his will, they do as he asks, and for all off a few moments, we are lost in each other's longing.

Hearing his small purr, I pull back contented, before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. He closes his eyes slowly. As I look into his face with a small sigh, he returns my gaze. I smile at his dancing forest greens in a very tired face and ask softly, "Hard day, sweetness?"

Pulling me a little tighter, he nods into my hold. Rubbing his back as we stand embraced, his hands slip down my back, over my waist, and finally rest on my butt, pressing me gently to him. It's not lustful, it's just longing. My boy needs the contact right now, and if nothing else, I understand, so I let him be.

Lifting my head, I sigh deeply before informing him to take a seat, and that I will take care of him. Lower than a whisper, I hear, "Promise?"

My lips trace the shell of his ear as I press him just that little bit tighter to me, and I whisper back, "I promise, Edward. Always."

He releases himself from my hold, tracing my tattoo sleeve with his finger tips before pulling away. He looks a little uneasy, making me frown, knowing this is one of Edward's moves when he's thinking or concerned. It makes me anxious, but as he looks at me, I smile softly, hoping he'll return it, and he does.

My boy looks weary, and something just doesn't feel right to me, but his forest greens are still alight with his joy and hope for our future. As he hears someone inquire about a shower (again with the fucking shower thingies, really have to pull my head out of my ass and break down and ask), he smiles widely, turning his attention to the table, so I decide not to push him right now, and just let him get lost in his baby euphoria.

Reluctantly showing him to the booth, cause I really don't want to let him go right now, but making sure he was comfortable, letting them all know that their waitress will be over to serve them momentarily, I turn my attention to Alec. He has just finished removing his coat and hanging it on the hook beside the others.

With Edward's hand still in mine, his fingers intertwining with my own, squeezing me gently, I turn my now subtle glare in Volturi's direction. My skin is starting to crawl, and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end. I'm feeling something I just cant shake.

The fact that my boy's body language is screaming at me to protect and comfort him makes my gut churn with uneasiness, and I have a feeling that something has gone down, but that he doesn't want to be pushed right now. He knows I won't make a scene or embarrass him. My boy just wants a calm night.

Reaching out my hand in Alec's direction, I smile slightly tighter than usual, and when our hands clasp, I pull him towards me, gripping just tight enough to make him uncomfortable. He smiles nervously, and is still unable to look me in the eye. Fucker!

"Nice to see you again, Alec. Welcome to my little watering hole." I'm unable to hold at bay the slight gravel in my voice.

Now looking me in the face, but still unable to make eye contact, taking small swallows and a deep breath, finally taking in his surroundings, he sputters out, "Thanks... Jas...Jasper. It was nice to be invited... Great place you have here." He slips his now sweaty hand out of my grasp.

Placing my hand tightly on Alec's shoulder, trying to convey to him that he just might be fucking underestimating me or my love for Edward. I led him to his seat. He has yet to look me in the eyes. Fucker! He sits across from Edward.

Palming Edward's face in my hand, tilting it up to meet my gaze, I place a soft kiss on his lips. His tongue peeks out as he licks mine. I wink, letting him know I'll be right back, and with a gentle, smile he nods.

Heading in the direction of the bar, I meet up with Ben and Angela, kissing her with my hello. She replies with a "Congrats, Dad!" making me smile widely, like a dork, and I don't give a shit. I tell Ben to send Nicki, one of our waitresses, over to serve Edward's table, knowing rightly that Nicki has a crush on my husband, and will give him all the care and attention my boy needs tonight.

As Ben heads into the back to inform Nicki, smirking to himself, Angela looks up at me with concern. I raise my eyebrows at her questioningly.

"You look tired, Jasper. Is everything OK with you guys?" I see tenderness, but worry, in her eyes.

"Yes, hon, couldn't be happier. Just a little tired; it's been a long few weeks."

Placing her hand on my arm, she stretches her neck to peer up at me, her eyes looking a little sad, but she is trying to disguise it.

"How's Edward holding up? He's looking tired or worried, and maybe a little anxious!"

Placing my hand over hers, as she still has it on my arm, I lower my voice to a whisper, "Angela, why would Edward be worried or anxious. Is there something I should know about?" I'm trying to keep my concern out of my voice, as well as the little anger that is now building in my gut, out of my tone, due to her implications.

I watch Nicki approach Edward's table with a huge smile on her face and a dance in her step. I hear her welcome our guests.

"Welcome to The Hole in the Wall, my name is Nicki, and I'll be your server tonight. And if Edward would give me a chance, his slave for eternity"

Hearing Edward's loud laugh fill the bar, I grin to myself as the doctors and nurses start to cheer in approval at Nicki's proposal.

I watch Alec cringe at their implications, disgusted at their banter, forging a tight smile, making me smirk at the fucker.

Edward's face gloriously turning the most beautiful shade of red as his greens look my way, he gives me his best crooked grin.

I smile back in his direction, mouthing silently, " Love you." His eyes flutter closed as he sighs deeply, then returns his attention back to Nicki.

Returning my stare to Angela, I nod, letting her know I was still listening, and to continue.

"Jasper, what do you know about doctor Volturi?"

I shake my head. "Nothing much. Why?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well, I myself don't trust him, and I'm hearing rumors."

" What kind off rumors, Angela?" As I raise both eyebrows at her now.

"That Alec Volturi has set his sights on your Edward, and he has told a few nurses that Edward will never be able to deny his charm!"

"Really?" I smirk at her nonchalantly, trying to keep the tone of the conversation light.

"Yes, really, Jasper." Her body tenses, and she slaps the bar top in anger. "Listen, Jasper, this is serious, and pissing me off, but from what I hear, Edward hasn't given him the time of day.

"But I have heard that Volturi has been trying his best to wear him down."

Now Edward's body language makes sense. He's nervous, but most of all, he's worried that I will pick up on Volturi's advances and lose my cool.

Taking a deep breath and giving Angela a small smile, I lean down and kiss her lips gently. Her eyes flutter closed, and with a sigh, she smiles.

We were interrupted when Ben returned, slapping me playfully on the shoulder.

"Hey yo, bro, you got your own husband. Care to keep your luscious lips, as my wife calls them, off of said wife?"

With a hearty laugh from me and a giggle from Angela, I pick her up off the ground into a giant hug, swinging her from side to side a little.

"Angela, don't you worry your pretty little head about anything. I will make sure that Edward is well taken care of, and protected! Tell me, would I ever let my boy down?"

"No, Jasper, you wouldn't. But please, please, please, promise me you'll stay vigilant on this matter. I don't trust the bastard!"

"Promise me, Jasper?"

Giving her one more lift into my arms and a kiss on the forehead, I lean back.

"I promise, hon. Don't you worry." Taking her for one last twirl, she chuckles...

"PUT THAT WOMAN DOWN, YOUNG MAN. HAS IT SLIPPED YOUR MIND THAT YOU'RE GAY?"

Putting Angela back on her feet, I turn to see Emmett and Rose entering the bar. Walking towards them, I pull Emmett in for a half hug and greet my sister with a kiss to the cheek.

Turning back to the bar, leading the way, I ask them their pleasure, but should have known better, as Ben already had them ready and waiting when we got there. Smiling with a nod, I hand them their drinks.

Emmett's looking around as Rose is eying the table. Looking at me quizzically, she inquires, "Who's the big guy?"

Turning my gaze toward the table, looking at Edward and smiling, trying to ignore Volturi altogether, I reply, "New doctor at the hospital. Alec Volturi."

Her eyebrows frown and her lips get tight... Mm mm... really... She walks over, sitting her ass down right beside him, close enough that their shoulders are touching. As Alec tries to drink from his glass, she smirks up at him, sipping her own. And I hear him gulp... Fucker.

Emmett catches my attention, wanting to do a shot. How can I refuse the guy?

Ben pours them without me even having to ask. He winks as I raise my eyebrow, pushing the glass in my direction. Nodding his head, he says, "Go ahead, boss, you need this."

I raise my glass to Ben and Emmett, nearly spitting my drink as I hear Emmett's cheer. "TO THE DADDIES!"

Everyone cheers in approval, causing the whole bar to join in with their encouragements and chants, making me smile widely at Edward.

Clearing my throat, I hold my glass up, and watch as Alec heads in the direction of the restrooms.

" I just want to thank you guys for joining us tonight. It is unbelievably unreal to me how wonderful our friends and family are. I once thought that Edward was enough for me, and we were complete, and I wouldn't need anything else in my life".

Edward smiles widely in my direction.

"But then with Edward's help and encouragement I came to understand and realize that us bringing someone else into are family, teaching and showing them how to love as deeply as their parents would be the best gift to be able to give, and would make us even more complete.

Edward looks at me, tears escaping his eyes. His smile is beautiful, causing me to sigh deeply.

So raising my glass, I joyfully and loudly say, "Cheers to all our family and friends, and to my wonderful husband and our awesome future"

They reply with a joyous "To the daddies!"

And with that, Alec returns to his seat.

Everyone settles back down and into their own conversations, and I eye my sister's approach from the side. A happy fucking camper she's not.

Spinning on my heels, I turn to greet her. " Hi, sis. Really and truly, thanks for coming tonight." I give her a smile and a kiss.

As she punches my shoulder, giving me a half smirk, I flinch, faking real pain grabbing my shoulder for effect. "What the fuck, Rose? What'd I do?"

"Whats the deal, Jasper?" She raises her sculpted eyebrow in my direction, but points a well manicured finger towards the table.

"I want to know what the hell is going on here? And why the hell you're not getting it sorted?" She squints her eyes, and shit, I think I see daggers.

"Nothing's happening, Rose. And I have my shit sorted, thank you very much." I try to sound confident, but she notices my double blink and gulp, and decides to call me on it.

"Jasper Hale-Cullen, you might be my oh so wonderful brother, and can bull shit your way out of any situation, but this is me, your oh so wonderful sister, talking, and I know crap when I hear it."

She pulls me to face her, placing a hand on each of my shoulders, nonchalantly gazing her daggers over her left shoulder in Volturi's direction.

And if the fucker had been paying attention instead of eye fucking my husband, and un-fucking dressing him with his eyes, he might have shown fear.

With my fists white knuckle tight at my sides, I return to my sister's stare.

"Jasper, please listen to me. That guy Alec -Val?-Vel?-Vol?...what the fuck ever his fucking name is... Doctor Sneaky Shit as I fondly refer to him as, well, that guy" she points her finger again for effect, "he's a predator- I see it in his eyes. And he's the worst kind, cause I really don't think he wants anything to do with Edward per se. He just wants another notch on his bedpost, and has set his sights on your fucking husband, bro!"

She looks at me, concerned. She feels my tension growing. She feels my shoulder muscles tighten as she rubs them, trying to soothe my pain.

"I know, Rose, I'm not blind. But other than taking his sorry ass outside and kicking the living shit out of him, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be wrong..." I plead for her to understand. "I don't want to fuck this up. Edward is so happy right now, and I can't find it in me to fuck it up for him. He has to work with that moron on a daily basis! And the humiliation and embarrassment would be too much for him! It would kill him, and I can't be responsible for that shit"

"Honey,honey honey," she whispers painfully. "I understand. I do! But you have to put a stop to this shit, and right now. Alec is having free rein on your man, or thinks he does! and Edward cant even look in the guy's direction without nearly hyperventilating. You have to at least have a talk with him and get this the fuck sorted... Please?"

I look at her with tear-filled eyes, hoping to all that is holy, they wont fall. But I see tears gathering in her vivid blues too, and it comforts me, knowing the fact that in all her bitchy glory, she cares and loves Edward and me with everything she's got.

Turning, she spots Emmett still holding up the bar, talking away to Ben, and I'm oh so sure it has something to do with football. With a kiss to my cheek and a wink, she heads in his direction.

I stand alone, staring at my boy as he laughs at one of the nurses' jokes or comments. He's so happy, his eyes are sparkling and his cheeks are flushed, just the way I like him. Then I glance at Alec, and the fucker is staring right back at me with the most evil grin on his face, and it makes me just want to fly across the bar and kick that fucking grin right of his asshole face.

But I don't quit. I stand eye to eye with the fucker, as he smirks at me, and once again, the hairs at the back of my neck stand at attention, and I'm livid, cause I really want to rip his God damn throat out and cut his balls off with a plastic butter knife.

I breathe deeply and straighten my shoulders. Turning to the bar, I ask Ben for my usual. He eyes me wearily, but does as I ask. Knocking back my shot, I head for Edward's table. Reaching my beautiful boy's side, I don't have to say a word. Without looking in my direction, he reaches for me, slipping his fingers into the palm of my hand. Squeezing tightly, he glances up, smiling shyly, so I lean down and kiss his smile with one of my own.

Sighing deeply, I ask him if he's having fun. His sparkling eyes close slowly and he nods his answer. My boy's a little tipsy, and I love it, making me smile and kiss his forehead.

Strolling in Alec's direction, I sit my sorry ass right next to him, and the fucker has now turned his attention to Edward, who is staring wide eyed and swallowing nervously. I smile over at my boy and tell him silently that everything will be OK, but I really don't think it calms his nerves any.

Turning my attention to Alec, I don't smile! I just stare, and the fucker now has beer balls, and has decided to stare back. Fucker.

"Alec, join me at the bar. I'd love to share a toast with ya." I keep eying him intensely.

He doesn't break our stare, but he swallows hard, which is enough for me right now. Got the fucker where I want him.

We're standing at the bar, toe to toe, his highly polished dress shoe resting on the kick stand across from my well worn cowboy boot. As I lean my elbow on the bar, Ben hands me my drink, and asks Alec for his pleasure. I take this opportunity to look him over. With his expensive, well pressed suit, his perfectly starched shirt and neatly trimmed hair, he looks even more of a dick up close than I first thought he was. All I wanted to do was kick his excessively starched, perfectly pressed, obnoxiously overly hair gelled ass. But for right now, I had to keep my cool.

With drink now in hand, he looks me over subtly, but seductively, pissing me off even more.

I squint my eyes at him when his lands on my crotch.

Clearing my throat and downing my drink, I slam my glass onto the bar. Alec raises his glass and takes a sip. God, he's such a douche.

"I have a problem, Alec, that I'm hoping you can help me with." I'm trying to remain calm, taking deep breaths.

"Sure, Jasper. Whats up? How can I help?" He glares at me over his glass as he girlie sips his fucking drink.

"I need you to back off my fucking husband, and I need you to do it right now!" My voice is hoarse, my eyes dark.

Raising his eyebrow at me with a smirk, he answers, "Now why the fuck would I do that, Jasper?"

And fuck me sideways, my body tenses and starts to shake. My chest 's heaving with the pants of air I'm now trying to pull into my lungs, because sure as fucking hell, it feels like it's all been sucked the fuck out of the room.

Spots start forming behind my fucking eyes, cause really, at this point, I'm starting to see fucking red. And I swear this asshole is going to be eating his God damn balls in a second.

Reaching over, I grab the wrist holding his drink, tugging it roughly from his fucking smirky face, and slamming it to the bar top. His eyes grow wide and black, pain registering on his ugly as fuck face. Pulling him to me now, nose to nose, his sour breath attacks every one of my senses, and it takes all that I have not to puke or turn away. My eyes start to water from the offensive intrusion. Blinking, I start to breathe through my mouth.

And in a whisper, rough and harsh like sandpaper, I start my speech.

"Hear me, and hear me now, Alec! If I ever see or hear of you going anywhere near, or even trying to speak to, God damn it! Don't even look or breathe in my husband's direction, cause so help me God and all that I hold dear, I will hunt you down, rip you limb from limb, and feed your sorry ass to the animals. Your fucking ugly face will only be seen on milk cartons, and you will never be heard from again.

Now finish your fucking drink, Alec, get your fucking coat, and take your foul-breathed, obnoxiously over cologned gay ass and get the fuck out of my bar NOW!"

I inhale through my nose, straightening my posture, and glare at the fucker...

He's stunned into total shock, the fucker. Knocking back the last of his drink, he pushes past me, but stops when he's shoulder to shoulder, placing his chin on mine, his clammy breath hitting my ear.

"This ain't over, Jasper. You have not heard the end of me. And if I were you, I'd get a better leash for my boy."

I didn't have time to think. I didn't care about the consequences. I just wanted to fucking kill him. Who the hell was he to tell me to control anyone! And who the fuck did he think he was calling my husband 'BOY!' I'm the only person on this God damn planet with that right.

And fuck me, I couldn't help it! I came out swinging, connecting with his eye, then his chin.

Thank God Emmett was at my side in an instant, holding me back, relaying his concerns and plans to get the fucker on our own time in my ear, calming me down some. I stand straight and pull my t-shirt back down over my chest.

Alec is staring at my uncovered abs, and licks his lips as his eyes roam hungrily over my half naked form. smirking... Fucker. It takes two of the doctors to pull him away. They try their best to get him out the door and into a waiting cab, but still he stares. The God damn guy has no fucking shame for himself, or respect for anyone else. And I better have seen the fucking last of him, so help me God.

"I'm good, Em. I'm good!" I'call out, raising my hands in surrender.

As he releases me from his bear hug, letting my feet hit the floor once again, I turn to see Edward. His body is slumped and his breaths are strained. My eyes dart around the room, and I try to look at anything but him. My eyes sting from tears and sweat.

I'm ashamed of my actions. I had promised to keep my cool, and I feel worse, cause embarrassing him was the last thing I wanted to do.

He straightens himself to his full height, and taking a deep breath, he slowly walks over, wrapping his arms around my waist, as my own find a resting spot around his shoulders. His eyes search mine, emerald orbs dancing with emotion, as his soft as satin lips touch and trace my own. His tongue seeks permission to enter, one hand comes up gripping the hair at the nape of my neck, pulling me forcefully to him, causing his tongue to hit the back of my throat, releasing the most deep and primal groan from my lungs. He's powerful, he's strong, and he's oh my gravy dominating my ass right now.

He kisses my lips, pulling back, then biting my bottom lip between his teeth, moving on to my chin, kissing it open-mouthed, sucking skin and nipping gently,moving slowly up my jaw line, along my cheek and into my hair, until he reaches my ear.

"Jasper! I'm going to take you home, strip you naked, and fuck you senseless. Now go get your fucking coat."

After our very fucking quick goodbyes, thanks, and kisses, we head for home. I think we made our usually twenty minute walk in ten.

Edward orders me to go take a quick shower, as he can still smell Alec's foul breath on my skin, informing me that he will lock everything up and prepare the coffee for the morning.

After a quick as fuck shower, I crawl under the nice crisp covers of our warm, comfy bed and wait.

Lying on my back, hands behind my head, I'm full of anticipation and anxiety. This night has really done a whole God damn one eighty. To think that I was scared and terrified that Edward would be disappointed with my thoughts or actions.

But instead he got caught up in my protectiveness and possessiveness, and I had done nothing other than turn my horny as fuck boy on, and he was about to show me just how much.

And once again it's not even my birthday or Christmas. God you gotta love my boy.

Edward enters the room, turning off all the lights but the bathroom's, leaving a warm glow to blanket the bed.

Stripping off his clothes, he starts to invade my ears with his utterly dirty and passionate words, telling me how uneasy he had felt all night, wanting nothing but to be in bed with me, wrapped in my arms, all warm and comfortable.

But then he explains how he watched his fuck hot husband go all primal and protective, and something in him snapped, and he just needed to take me home and fuck me hard.

I gulp loudly as Edward grabs the covers from the bottom of the bed and disappeared under them.

I watched his lean body crawl its way up my body, starting with my toes, taking each one in his mouth, sucking softly before biting down gently, making me chuckle then squirm.

His long, lean fingers wrap around my calves, massaging gently, loosening my tight muscles. Following each squeeze with a tender kiss and lick, he reaches my thighs, nibbling at the skin before sucking it between his teeth then kissing it gently.

Reaching the V at my hips, he hums softly to himself, licking me up from thigh to hip then rewinding his journey, kissing me tenderly on his way back down.

I couldn't take it anymore. My cock was so fucking hard at just the thought of Edward fucking me. I wanted his body on mine, in mine, through mine, as soon as possible. And I didn't give a fucking shit which way he was going to do it. I just wanted it done.

Yes, people, I'm an eager fucker. It's Edward with the patience is a virtue shit... Silly fucker that he is.

And thank you, Jesus, he finally takes me in his mouth, and I can't help my reaction. I groan deeply from the gravelly depths of my chest, and Edward chuckles, pulling back, looking at me through his long ass lashes, keeping just the tip of my dick between his lips.

"Is this what you want, love?"

And I nod like a fucking idiot.

" You want me to suck you hard, don't you, baby?" Another nod. He chuckles louder... Fucker.

"Would you like me to suck you dry, sweetheart?" This time I blink slowly and nod once more.

And the boy goes to town. Well, butter my butt and call me biscuit, now I'm the one as happy as a pig in shit.

My boy's mouth is amazing. It's hot and moist, tender and soft, and his oh my God fucking tongue is just one of the most amazing appendages my boy has, and he knows how to fucking use it.

"I've wanted to taste you all day, baby." Edward looks up my trembling torso. His forest greens dance and sparkle with excitement as he softly speaks.

I'm lost, I'm gone, I can't do anything but want. His tongue swirls strongly around my head, and my eyes roll back. With the slightest whisper, I try my best to speak.

"Baby, please. I can't take it much longer. I need you, been wanting you all night." I moan, whimpering, and yes, practically begging the boy. And for some fucking reason, Edward has chosen this very moment to go deaf. Fucker!

Edward keeps up his gentle teasing, swiping his tongue back and forth over my slit, driving me fucking crazy, and all I can do is moan low in my throat, concentrating on trying to breathe with every pass of his hot as hell, wet as water fucking tongue.

"Fuck." My moans were growing louder as Edward began to move a little faster, holding my hips to the mattress so I couldn't buck up into his mouth. His lips are soft and strong as his tongue travels gloriously over the ridges of my cock.

"Keep that shit up and I'm gonna cum, baby." I moaned into the air. Edward picked up his pace, rolling his tongue around my length. I lifted my hips to gain more friction, trying to keep up with the rhythm of his month.

"Then cum for me, Jasper. Fucking cum for me, baby." He growls, his steady, perfect rhythm failing him as I push up to meet his mouth. With his lustful words, and the animalistic primal look in his eyes, he throwd me over the edge and into the deep end. As he stares up at me, I can feel my orgasm releasing in waves, crashing over me and taking me over completely. My cock explodes into Edward's soft, hot, luscious lips.

Kissing his way up my now shaking and sweaty body, his hot breaths fanning across my belly and chest, reaching for the drawer, he retrieves our now needed supplies.

His lips search out mine as my hands become joined at the back off his neck, pulling him tighter to me, tasting my essence on his tongue, sucking hard, and making him groan into my throat.

My tongue flickers over his bottom lip, catching his hot panting breaths and primal moans. My hands slip down his back, over his waist, coming to rest on his firm, plump ass, squeezing a little, trying to encourage him to continue. "I want you, baby. Please take me!"

I feel his long, wet fingers at my entrance, and out of instinct, I flinch. His breath hitches and he stops abruptly, leaning back to look at my face. "Baby, you OK?"

Looking down on me with nothing but love, concern, and emerald passion in his eyes, how could I not be. So I nod slowly into his shoulder, taking a deep breath.

He's pushes his long finger forward and starts to pump inside me while he kisses his way up my shoulder and neck. He never stops whispering his words of love and desire into my hot skin, causing me to shiver.

He tells me how much he felt, wanted, desired, longed for... and how much he lusted after me when I'd gotten all protective of him.

When he pressed a second and then a third finger inside of me, slowly allowing me to adjust, his lips never left mine, all soft, hot and swollen. I could taste myself as he kissed me, making me moan out. Once again I suck his tongue into my mouth, making him purr against my lips.

Leaning back, he stares at me. There's nothing but love, lust and longing in his dark emerald speckled eyes.

I blink slowly as tears roll down my face and into my hair before landing on the pillow behind my head. How could I ever lose this boy? How can I ever give up and let him go? How could I ever live without him?

Edward moved slowly and cautiously, with so much tenderness and love, it made my heart melt. How patient my boy was with me. I could tell he was scared and anxious; he always is. His body shaking, and beads off sweat gather on his forehead as small pants of air leave his lungs. His only wish is to never hurt or harm me in any way.

As he places himself at my entrance, he takes a shaky deep breath just before he pushes in gently, never leaving my eyes as I stare up and into his. His lids flutter closed for a second, but immediately his focus is back to me.

When he pulls almost all the way out of me and glides easily back in, I moan long and low in my chest. He feels incredible and amazing, everything he should be, as he slowly and steadily thrusts back and forth into me.

Our mouths moved passionately and eagery as our bodies thrust and sway together. I can feel every part of him on me; one sweaty body sliding up and down another, causing the most delicious friction .

He pushes and presses, pulls and tugs. His lips are soft and wet against my lips, nipping at my jaw and throat when trying to catch his breath.

His chest, slick with sweat, slides against my chest, his nipples deliciously rubbing against the metal bars in mine, making me scream out his name, pulling him tighter to me as my legs wrap around his butt, affixing him to me.

I'm as hard as fucking hell, and grinding between us, fighting for friction, searching for my release. "Edward, please?" I beg. Eager, I tell ya. Eager.

"Patience, baby. Patience. He smirks down at me. "You know that patientce is a virtue, Jasssssper!" He leans back on his heels.

Grabbing him by the front of his hair, watching pain make his eyes squint shut, I pull him to me. We're now nose to nose.

In a low gravelly and as dominating as I fucking can muster at this God damn moment voice, I scream as my teeth bite down on his bottom lip.

"Edward Anthony Hale-Cullen, as your loving, fucking wonderful, devoted husband, I demand you to fuck me like your life depends on it. RIGHT NOW!..."

He pulls back with the dirtiest smirk on his face and a menacing dark glint in his eyes, and I swear to the baby Jesus, I felt fear run up my spine.

Placing his forearms under my knees, he pulls me towards him, returning himself to my entrance, easing my thighs up to his shoulders, then pushes back into my heat painfully slow, making his head fall back and my name drop from his lips.

Pushing and pulling, gaining his rhythm, he reaches down and wraps his long, lean fingers around my length. Hearing me whimper and hiss causes him to turn his attention back down to me. His swollen lips are parted and his chest heaves with every breath he takes.

Matching the rhythm of his hips with the rhythm of his strong, powerful hands, he rubs his thumb over the tip with every pass, making my eyes roll back in my head as I tighten my fingers into the bed covers fisting and pulling the soft material.

I start to feel the intensity is growing in my groin, moving up my thighs, wrapping around my waist and finally landing in my balls, and they tighten and pull, making me want to scream for release into the dark room air, and fuck, I do.

"Edward, Edward ! Fuck! Fuck!... I-I-I'm go-gona-gonna fucking cum, sweetness."

Leaning forward, dropping my legs to the bed, making my feet land flat footed on the covers. He reaches down, attaching himself to my mouth, sucking and nipping, biting and pulling on my swollen lips, as he keeps pushing, pulling and tugging on my length. He's panting and grunting, trying his best to stay in the moment, knowing he's seconds away from losing it, but intending to wait for me.

Feeling his hot breath on my throat, my ear straining to hear him above his and my own moans and groans. He whispers as my eyes shut tightly, begging my body to give me this second to hear what my boy has to say.

"Jasper, you need to cum. And cum hard all over my chest and yours right now. And if you do, I'll lick you clean, baby!"

I groan deep in my chest. My head pushes back into the pillows as once again he speaks.

"Jasssssper, pleassssse, nooowww?"

And fuck me sideways, I'm gone. I cum and I cum hard all over our chests, painting my boy from belly to shoulder, as I'm still riding my high. Head spinning, eyes shut, I feel him empty his own orgasm into my heat my name leaving his lips as he falls to my chest, laying his head on my shoulder.

And at this very moment, I am complete. Our thick, hot, soft, breaths make the room feel humid.

My body and brain are mush, every limb unable to move. My boy has fucked me senseless, and I couldn't be happier. Kissing me tenderly, he leaves our bed heading for the bathroom, returning with a warm, damp wash cloth to wipe me down.

I look at him, smirking, and he returns my look questioningly. "What?"

"What no licking, Edward?" And now we're both doubled over laughing, him smacking me with the cloth before throwing it towards the hamper.

"So not right, Jasper! That's just yucky!" He smiles.

"Edward, did you just say yucky? Cause that's just beyond gay, ya know! And you really shouldn't make a promise you can't keep, babe."

"I've promised to love you and only you forever, Jasper. Isn't that enough?"

Pulling him into my side, holding his warmth close to mine, I sigh contentedly. "Yes, sweetness, it is!"

But as my eyes flutter closed, I feel a tightness in my chest, thinking to myself, But will it be enough to keep Alec Volturi at bay?

But Fuck me. I really love my boy.


	12. Peanuts

Fuck me! What the hell time is it? I'm too fucking tired to look. Jasper, turn your head... I can't... I whimper... Fuck, Jasper, just turn your God damn fucking head and look, dude! I can't. I whimper again; I'm just too fucking tired.

I know it's the middle of the night. Gotta be after four, at least, but I'm just way too fucking comfy and cozy to turn my lazy ass head and look at the clock.

I hate when Edward works nights. It leaves the bed with an empty feel and me just tossing and turning all night. Fuck! I hate this shit, rolling over on my side, pulling the covers up over my shoulders. Lazily struggling to open one eye, I see the red digits on the nightstand. Well! I was nearly right; it's only three.

Desperately seeking some relief from my insomnia, I try to shut my fucking mind down. It doesn't come easy, but I find myself slipping into a restful slumber. My last waking thoughts being of shades of forest green and copper red. Sighing deeply, my eyes flutter closed.

Feeling the bed dip, I sigh with relief! My boy's home. Thank fuck for little mercies. He's as quiet as a mouse, and trying his very best not to cause to much of a fuss. As he slips under the covers with a low grunt and a slight groan, his head finally hits the pillow, twisting from side to side a little, trying to find his niche.

I moan contentedly, wrapping my arm over his waist, pulling him to me, snuggling into the back of his neck, kissing softly that beautiful little mole he has right behind his right ear at his hair line as my other hand travels up under his pillow, entwining my fingers with his cold ones.

He lets out a low but strong sigh. I whisper into his hair, "Glad you're home safe, baby! Did you have a hard night?" I wait patiently for his answer.

It's been over a month since I last set eyes on Alec Volturi, kicking his sorry ass out of my pub. But not a moment's gone by that I haven't thought of a way to kick his sorry ass again - or in my darkest hours, even kill the bastard.

With Edward's help, I even went as far as to write my little plan down in detail, it's in a private journal, well hidden at the back of our closet. I knew I had to get the dark thoughts out of my head before I acted on them - all the time, Edward advising me, explaining his fears and concerns if I didn't.

He knew I wanted to hurt Alec, but killing him would be a little extreme, even for me. A hot head I might be, but a killer, not likely. So I did the next best thing... Yeah, you know me, forever the drama queen. But the fucker rubs me the wrong fucking way.

But poor Edward is still working with the asshole each and every day, which has made it a little stressful for my boy, and I find myself worrying about him daily. My fear of Alec wanting some retaliation for my actions and hurting Edward consumes my every thought.

Edward has spent most of his working hours trying to stay a fair distance from Volturi, but on the occasion when they must work together and have to be in very close proximity, Edward says that Alec has tried his damnedest to make some kind of advance towards him, with Edward trying his best to brush him off. He tries to assure me that it's nothing he can't handle right now, knowing what he now knows about Volturi.

The pleasantries have gone out the window, and Edward has discovered newfound strength and freedom in the ability to be rude, and my boy's getting the hang of it really fast. Never heard my boy say the word fuck so much in all our lives, and ya know what? I think I kinda like it! When he lets it slip, I find myself chuckling, getting a little turned on by my dirty-mouthed boy.

We try our best not to discuss him or mention his name while alone; and in our intimate moments, he is put on the back burner. But still I worry.

Shimmying back to spoon his body with mine, he replies to my question with a soft, tired, "Mm mm... mm mm," nodding his head gently with my face buried in his hair. His body quickly melts to mine. We're like two magnets that are drawn to each other - there's always been and always will be this pull between us that we can't deny.

He pushes his ass back a little into my groin, shaking his hips softly, but slowly trying to get himself comfy, releasing a whimper from me and a chuckle from him... Fucker!

As I pull him tighter to me, his toes find mine as he swings his ankle over to get comfortable. Jumping with a yelp, my head hitting the pillow again with a thud, I raise my voice a little higher than a whisper, trying to sound annoyed, but having a hard time keeping the smirk out of my tone.

"What the fuck, Edward! Your feet are freezing, baby." I gently rub his toes between mine as he sighs.

"I know, baby, I know. It's cold outside! But isn't that what you're for, to keep my feet warm? Sweetheart." He cuddles deeper into me.

Spooning him a little tighter, kissing the top of his head, taking the time to breathe in his manly scent, I chuckle while sucking his ear lobe between my teeth as a low deep whimper leaves his lips, escaping into the night air, echoing back and spilling over us.

His hand reaches behind him, placing it on the back of my head, twirling my curls with his fingers, pressing me a little harder onto his ear, causing me to bite down gently, creating the most delicious moan to leave Edward's chest,I reply with a deep set moan of my own, fanning my breath over his ear lobe and down his neck.

He continues to rock back into me softly as my fingers start to travel from his chest over his tight abs, across his belly, following his happy trail over the soft material of his boxers until it comes to rest on his semi hard cock, pressing gently scooping his balls into my fingers, creating a little friction for him to push forward. The growl that escapes him vibrates in his back, in return, making it rumble over my chest, causing me to moan into his ear deeply.

We are both tired to the point of total exhaustion. This is not sexual for us; this is loving, caring and needing to be connected. We push back and forth, rocking in and away from each other. We are surrendering to our peacefulness.

"Baby, remember we have an appointment in the morning with Alice!" a hint of excitement in his tone.

Shit. Nearly forgot - how could I forget? I'm such an ass. Fuck! I'm such a bad husband. We're going to hear the baby's heartbeat tomorrow, and Edward's been jumping out of his skin with anticipation all week.

Pulling him closer, giving his cold hand a gentle squeeze, I let my own "Mm-mm…" leave my lips. "I remember, baby! How could I ever forget?"

"Good-night, sweetness." I kiss his hair.

"Good-night, baby." He tugs on my curls with a sigh.

And once again I smell it: liquid gold, the aroma awakening every one of my senses. With the biggest grin crossing my face, I head for the kitchen. My boy's amazing. I swear, when God was creating this awesome creature, he had me in mind, knowing I would always want and need him in my life, and would be the one person who would appreciate his awesome coffee making skills.

I stretch with a groan, heading in the direction of the scent, and in search of my beautiful boy.

Reaching my destination, leaning against the counter, wanting to take a minute to study my boy, watching him at the stove, swaying his hips in his little burgundy boxer briefs as he sings to himself… Have I mentioned my boy can really carry a tune? You should hear him play the piano. The boy's a genius, I tell ya. The way his long, lean fingers glide over the keys is like watching poetry in motion.

So there he stands in all his well rested, fucked up, red headed glory, in his little burgundy briefs. Oh yeah! And socks. My boy's feet were really cold last night, really fucking cold. Eying his little tight glorious ass, I let out a low groan, and he turns in surprise, and shit almighty, I have to chuckle just a little.

Cause not only is he so beautiful he takes my breath away, with all his red headed glory, burgundy briefs, not to mention his little white tube socks, but the boy's got an oven mitt on one hand and a spatula in the other.

"Whatcha doing, sweetness?" I smirk at him as I shamelessly eye fuck him to death right in our kitchen, the same place my boy makes Christmas cookies every year. I'm going to hell, I tell ya, going to hell.

"Eggs, Jasper. Eggs and toast - we need a good stable breakfast this morning! Don't you think?" He cocks his eyebrow so adorably at me.

"I'm guessing we do, baby. Got a busy day today!" I walk over to wrap him in my arms, taking full command over his mouth, squeezing him to me, pulling tighter as a gust of air leaves his lungs and enters my mouth, dancing with my tongue, and his eyes close slowly as he moans softly.

As I try to deepen the kiss, cupping his well rounded ass cheeks in my hands, grounding my hardening cock into his little burgundy briefs, I get an oven mitt smack to the back of my head as I groan in disappointment, pulling back.

"Don't even try it, mister. We have a busy day ahead, and you need to get some breakfast in that belly. You know what you're like when you're hungry." He shakes his spatula at me, smirking... Fucker.

Finishing breakfast, we clean up before heading for the shower. We have at least two hours before meeting up with Alice.

As I enter the bedroom, expecting to find Edward half way to the shower, I'm surprised when he's not. I hear him in the closet, hangers swishing from side to side. That's not good - we'll be here all day.

The boy's got a problem! He can't pick an outfit on his own if his life depended on it. He's too fucking fussy. He hangs his jeans on hangers, for crying out loud - now how fussy do you have to be to do that. He has a problem, I tell ya, a problem.

Thank God he spends half his life in scrubs and a white coat, or he'd never make it out of the house for work on time. But for him, everything has to be just right. Like the baby's gonna give a shit what he's wearing!

As I grab myself a clean T-shirt, briefs, socks, and jeans, throwing them on the chair, I head for the bathroom to start the shower, and still the fucking swishing of hangers. What the fuck?

I yell back into the room, "Edward, hon, let's go. Get a move on. The baby won't care what your wearing, hon. It can't see you!" I smirk to myself.

And then I'm stopped in my tracks, my hand on the door jamb. My heart stops and my breath hitches, and I'm silent. And I hear it again. A sob.

Spinning on my heels, I head for the closet, still hearing the sound of fucking hangers swishing from side to side.

Entering the closet, I watch in silence as he pushes hangers from side to side. He's still in his burgundy briefs and tube socks, but he's not looking at the clothes. His head hangs heavy between his shoulder blades and his back is tense, as little sobs leave his lungs every once and a while.

In two strides, I wrap myself around him. He leans back, relaxing his full body weight into my chest. As my arms wrap around his body, he sighs deeply. Burying my face in his hair, kissing him tenderly, I whisper, "Sweetness, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

All he can do is sob harder and shake his head from side to side.

Now I'm worried, so I squeeze him tighter to me. "Honey, why you crying? Aren't you happy?"

And he sighs deeper, it being cut off half way though when a heavier sob leaves his lungs. He nods his head, letting me know that he is happy.

"Then what's wrong, sweetness? We're going to hear the baby today! This is a good thing. This is a happy thing. Right?" I try my best not to sound worried or nervous.

He turns and looks at me, his forest greens all wet and shiny as his lashes stick together from the dampness, and my heart stops as his bottom lip starts to quiver slightly.

Then it dawns on me. Two gay men, standing in a closet, half naked: how ironic! This conversation needs to be moved to a different location.

Kissing his forehead, I wrap my arm around his shoulder and lead him into the bedroom, over to our bed. Seating him on the end, I reach for my bottled water on my nightstand, opening it and handing it to him so he can take a few sips as I slip between his knees, kneeling on the floor facing him.

As he looks down all wet eyed and panting, I wipe away his stray tears with my thumbs, trying my best to give him a small, warm, reassuring smile.

Taking another sip, he hands me back the bottle, I and place it back on the nightstand as he straightens himself and breathes deeply, trying his best to compose himself, wiping his own face with the back of his hand.

"Better, sweetness?" I give him a small smile.

He nods his head, sniffing a little as he wipes his nose on the back of his hand. "Sorry."

And I wait!

Our eyes flicker back and forth between each other. I smile as he bites his bottom lip.

"We're going to hear the baby today?" He looks at me a little nervously but eager.

"Yes we are, sweetness. Aren't you excited? Doesn't this make you happy?"

And once again he nods, unable to speak yet.

I cup his face in my hands and stare into his dark as night deep green eyes, wanting him to hear me, wanting him to understand and take note.

"Yes, my love, we're going to hear our baby today, and I understand that this makes it real - like really fucking real - and it's overwhelming and all consuming. And when I think of it, my heart stops, cause I find myself unable to breathe. But ya know what? I also feel empowered, excited and overjoyed cause of what this means. We're going to be parents, we're going to be a family. And I know that thought is scary, but it's also very exciting and fascinating, and I can't wait to be a daddy with you, cause I know deep in my heart that we will be the best."

He smiles, softly sniffing another tear back, as his face comes closer to me. Leaning in to catch his lips, I kiss him tenderly.

"Promise, Jasper?"

"I promise, sweetness"

"We're going to be daddies, huh! Jasper?" His arms wrap themselves around my neck, pulling me closer.

"Yes, babe, we are. And I am scared shit-less. But I couldn't be happier right now."

Pulling me up as he lays himself back, making me lay a top him on the bed, pushing him into the mattress with my full body weight, his hands find their way into my hair as he pulls on it gently, making me groan into his neck, biting him tenderly.

"I love you, Jasper Hale-Cullen." He kisses my temple.

"I love you more, Edward Hale-Cullen." I crush my lips to his, passionately wrapping his body tighter to mine, feeling his strong body press up against me from chest to knees.

As I press my boxer-clad cock against him, he wraps his legs around me, grinding up into my groin, a deep, hearty groan vibrating from his chest.

My hands find his hair. I'm pulling and pushing my fingers through it, while crushing my lips to his, dominating his mouth with my tongue, forcefully hitting the back of his throat.

I push down as he pushes up. He leaves my lips, licking and sucking on my jaw. My head rests against his forehead. He's panting. His chest is heaving as he chants out my name over and over.

I want him. I need him. Hell, he needs me. But we're on a time limit. We have stuff that needs to be taken care of, and I'm kicking myself in the ass for not finishing what I'd started in the kitchen earlier.

One of my hands leaves his hair, traveling down his side and cups his little burgundy boxer brief-clad ass cheek, pulling him up into me, making his hard as hell cock rub against my hard as hell cock, and he groans deep and powerfully into my mouth, biting down on my bottom lip, making me whimper.

"Jasper, fuck!" he screams at me. "Feels so fucking good, baby." He pulls me to him tighter. "Jasper, love, you're going to make me cum." A gravelly groan leaves his chest as he pushes his head back into the mattress.

And with that, I push harder, pulling him tighter, squeezing his butt cheeks a little harder, forcefully pushing my fingers between his cheeks, through his boxers, making him clinch his cheeks tight around my fingers, pushing his cock harder into mine. And I groan deep and moan loudly. "Fuck baby."

My stomach's tight, my thighs hurt, and my breathing's accelerated as my cock continues to grind into him unmercifully, wanting to make him cum, wanting to make him feel, wanting to make him know how much I love him.

"Edward, baby?" I whisper softy and breathlessly.

"Edward, hon, I need you to cum for me, I need you to release, baby. Don't worry, I'll take care of you"

And with that, he's gone, holding onto me tight, grinding himself up onto me as I grind down onto him. His head hits the bed as he pushes it back, trying to catch his breath. Feeling the dampness around our groins as I empty my own orgasm into my boxers. I bury my head in his neck before I raise my eyes to look down on him.

He's panting, chest heaving, eyes closed shut. He's trying to regain his composure. I look down at him lazily, giving him a devilish grin and small smirk.

As he opens his eyes, they're dancing and sparkling, and my God, he is oh so beautiful. He smiles shyly as I wipe his damp hair from his forehead. I smile down at him, starting to chuckle a little as he gives me a concerned look and a frown.

He looks at me questioningly. "What?" And I think what I'm going to say dawns on him, as he's now smirking to himself.

"Edward, know how long it's been since we've dry humped? What are we, sixteen?" And we both start a hearty laugh.

Seeing him smile now makes me smile in return. "Let's go, baby. We have a shower to take, and a baby to get to. So chop! chop!" I pull him to his feet, removing his sticky boxers along with my own, tossing them towards the hamper.

Now we're showered, shaved, and shined, Edward's skin scrubbed raw in the shower. My boy has a thing about being sticky. Told ya the boy has a problem. He's lucky I love him so fucking much.

And now we're ready to walk out the door. Edward grabs his car keys. No bike today - we want to at least look like grown-ups. Taking his hand and opening the front door, I turn and smile, "Let's go hear Peanut!" then pull him down the driveway.

He pulls me to a halt before we reach the car. Raising his eyebrows questioningly. "Peanut, Jasper?" He smirks to himself.

I look at him, then I smile shyly. "Yes, Edward. Peanut. That's my name for the baby until I'm told differently." I look down at my feet, waiting to be scolded.

He raises my chin with his fingertips, kissing me tenderly before whispering onto my lips. "Peanut, huh? I love it. Peanut it is!" And we both smile widely at each other like the dorks we are.

We make it to the doctors office in record time. Edward tends to think he's a God damn Indy race-car driver when he gets behind the wheel.

When we make it to the waiting room, we spot Alice sitting on one of the chairs, reading a fashion magazine. When she hears the door open, she glances up to smile in our direction. We walk over and greet her with hugs and hellos.

As Edward sits down beside her, he inquires, "How you feeling, sis? Is everything okay?" He places his arm on the back of her chair, giving her his full attention.

She smiles, kissing his cheek, and nods gently. "Yes, I feel wonderful. Never been better. Are you guys excited to hear the heartbeat?" She looks between the both of us.

Edward and I smile widely at each other, and in unison say, "Hell yeah!" making the nurse behind the reception desk laugh.

"Wow, Alice, you look big. Are you supposed to be this size so soon?" I ask.

"Jasper Hale-Cullen, you don't ever say that to a pregnant woman. Especially the one carrying your child!" Edward scolds, looking at me sternly.

I sit down beside her, not able to make eye contact, thinking I've hurt her feelings. I feel her tiny arms wrap around my neck and a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'm not sure, Jasper, each pregnancy is different, but this is the third baby to take up lodging in my belly, so I'm guessing it's normal."

We both smile at each other tenderly as signs of tears dampen our eyes. I kiss her forehead, sitting back and sighing deeply.

It doesn't take long for our names to be called, and we all three head back to the examining room. A few minutes later, the nurse enters.

The nurse helps Alice remove the clothes around her belly, pulling up shirts and tucking down pants, making it easier for her to get access to it. I slip my hand into Edwards as he turns his head to look and smile at me, giving my hand a little squeeze.

As the nurse squirts some lube onto Alice's belly, she hisses with a little yelp. The nurse looks apologetically at her.

"Sorry, sweetie, the gel's cold."

"Hell yeah it is!" I say, not paying much attention, just getting caught up in watching the procedure.

Then I realize I had said it out loud, as Alice and the nurse start to laugh. Edward just looks at me, shaking his head.

The nurse is still shaking her head as she turns on the machine, placing the little stick do-hicky-thingie on Alice's belly. I'm still embarrassed about my outburst, but it doesn't stop me from gripping Edward's hand even tighter, as he does mine in return.

And then the sound fills the room. It's like being in the bathtub with your fingers in your ears and your head under the water. All I can hear is a swish-swash swish-swash, and I look around confused. Edward and Alice are smiling at each other as he leans into me whispering in my ear, "That's the heartbeat, baby. That's how it sounds." He's smiling like a mad man, so I decide to believe him. God, he is the doctor, so I smile madly back at him.

And then something happens, and I'm even more confused. The nurse seems to look worried, and she has a frown on her face. She rubs the little stick do-hicky-thingie around Alice's belly like crazy, checking her watch, so I look over and Edward's looking down at his watch worriedly.

But still the swish-swash swish-swash fills the room, and I know its the heart beat, but why do the nurse and Edward look so concerned? I feel myself starting to lose it; I'm getting a little freaked.

The nurse smiles small at Alice, then at us, and excuses herself from the room, promising to return in a minute.

I look over at Edward and squeeze his hand. He glances over at me and smiles.

And just as I'm about to ask Edward or Alice what's going on, the little nurse returns. But this time she's not alone, she has a doctor with her. I find myself starting to sweat as I gulp nervously.

The doctor proceeds to do what the nurse was doing to start with, rubbing the stick over Alice's belly as he looks at his watch. Out of the corner of my eye I see Edward do the same, and frown... Fuck, what's going on?

The doctor turns off the machine and directs the little nurse to push over another machine sitting in the corner. As the nurse wipes down Alice's belly just to re-apply more lube,this time I don't say anything. I can't. My heart is in my throat. Alice looks at Edward nervously, but he nods his head and smiles to let her know everything is going to be OK.

He turns his attention to me, smiling at me nervously but lovingly, kissing the tip of my nose. I sigh deeply, trying to relax.

The doctor is now questioning Alice about how she feels. How far along is she? And she answers each and every one of his questions, her voice a little shaky.

And then they turn on the new machine, and the stick runs across the top of Alice's belly once again, but there's no noise. This time and I lose it.

"What the hell! Where's the heartbeat?" I yell out.

Edward ask the doctor for a second as he pulls me to the corner of the room. He explains to me that the first machine was the Fetal Doppler, and could pick up the baby's heartbeat. This new machine is an ultrasound machine, and we're going to get to see pictures of the baby, and there is no sound.

I look straight in his eyes. He doesn't look worried or concerned like he would be if anything was wrong, so I take a deep breath and give him a wide smile. He returns mine, kissing me gently and tenderly on the lips. Pulling back, he whispers, "Now let's go SEE Peanut." And I grin.

Heading back towards the table, I reach down and kiss Alice on the forehead." Sorry, Alice, just nervous!"

She kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand. "I understand, Jasper.. A little nervous myself, babe!"

And we all now turn our attention back to the doctor as Edward tells him to proceed, and once again the stick do-hicky-thingie is getting rubbed over Alice's belly, and the picture pops up on the screen. Shit, that's cool. As I watch on in awe (though I can't really make anything out), I'm smiling a big shity grin between Alice and Edward.

And then I feel the pain. The fingers on my right hand are being crushed to the point of breaking, and I hear him gulp hard. I look over at Edward, watching his eyes grow the size of saucers, and sweat starts to appear on his brow.

I look at the screen, but still don't understand, so I turn my eyes back to him. He looks at me with a dazed look, but a huge, fucking crazy smile on his face. His mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out but air. Then he shuts it again with a snap, and looks back at the screen.

Then he turns to me again and his mouth opens once more. But this time he speaks, with a shaky, hoarse voice. "Fuck me, two Peanuts."

And then it hits me. All the confusion, all the questions, all the concerns. They didn't believe what they were hearing, so they had to see it firsthand.

"Two Peanuts," I say, looking at Edward in shock and awe.

"Two Peanuts, babe." He leans over and pulls me flush with his body, kissing me with all the passion he can muster.

We hear a cough from the table, and turn to look down at Alice. "Peanuts, guys? Really?" With both of us raising our eyebrows and smirking, we all start a hearty laugh that now fills the room.

Our drive home was a hell of a lot more peaceful than the ride there. We didn't speak much, just held hands as we both stared out the window. Edward even kept to the speed limit, I guess not wanting to concentrate too much on what he was doing.

Reaching the house, we entered still in silence, both going our separate ways, Edward heading for the kitchen, me heading for the shower. I think we both needed this time to think and reflect and come to terms with what we had both just been told.

Once changed, I headed for the kitchen. As I enter, I watch Edward as he prepares lunch. Moving up alongside him, I nudge his elbow. Raising his eyes to me, he still looks a little dazed, and if I'm being honest, a little drunk - well tipsy anyway. But he still attempts a small smile. Kissing his forehead, I tell him to go get comfortable, and that I'll help by finishing up lunch.

We both have work this afternoon, and we won't be home till late into the wee hours, so I'd like us to have some quiet time, maybe eating a little lunch, talking a little, and hopefully have a little loving before we have to leave each other and start missing each other for twelve hours.

We eat lunch on the couch with our feet on the coffee table. I was trying my best to keep the atmosphere light and comfortable as I replayed the cold lube story, making Edward bend at the waist he laughed so hard.

We spent a while discussing and laughing about the little surprise the doctor threw at us this morning, and the fact that we now have two - count 'em, two - peanuts coming into our home. By the end of the conversation, we were both excited and overjoyed counting our blessings.

My boy looked tired, but I think he was more overwhelmed than anything else. Leading him to the bedroom, I sat him on the edge of the bed, telling him I'd be right back. I set my cell phone alarm, then return my attention back to him, kneeling on the floor in front of him. I remove his shoes and socks, rubbing the bottom of his feet with my thumbs, making him lean onto his arms with his head falling back, releasing a deep moan from his chest.

"Jasper, that feeeeeels so good, baby. Please don't stop". His eyes flutter closed as his tongue peeks out, swiping across his bottom lip.

"I won't baby. I want to make you feel good. I want you to relax for me. Can you do that for me, sweetness?" My breathing gets heavy and deep.

He nods his head slowly as he lowers himself to the mattress, grabbing the covers, twisting and turning them between his long lean fingers vigorously with every swipe of my thumbs, his breathing starting to pick up.

"Jasssssssper… Feeeeeels so goooood, baby." He bites down on his bottom lip, moaning softly.

Standing, I make him sit up, removing his shirt as I bend, pulling his hair at the back of his neck, enabling me to kiss down his neck and across his shoulders, biting gently on his collar-bone. Pushing him back down into his laying position, his eye's closing as my hands wander seductively over his tight abs.

"Let me take care of you, baby. Let me love you the best I can, sweetness." I start to unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper, slipping my hand in the space, palming his now hard cock from the outside of his boxers, releasing some pressure as a deep gravely moan leaves his chest, his fingers now pushing down on the denim, helping me remove the offensive material.

Removing his jeans and throwing them to the floor, I stand to remove my own. I crawl up the bed, putting my arm under his armpit, pulling him with me to lay his head on the pillows.

Reaching for him, I pull him to me, so we're face to face. As I put one arm under his head, the other wraps around his waist, pressing his boxer-clad hardened cock into my own, making the both of us groan into the room in unison. Kissing his lips, I suck his full, luscious bottom lip between my teeth.

Slipping my hand down into the back of his boxers, I squeeze his tight little cheek between my fingers, kneading his skin, as he releases a deep throaty moan into my mouth. Raising his hand, he pulls the back of my hair to him so he can crush his lips to me.

My lips move to his ear lobe, and I start licking and sucking frantically as my name drops from his lips and onto my neck.

"Jasper, baby I love you so much. Love, you feel so good, rubbing up against me, baby. God it's sooooo goooood. Soooooo goooood."

Squeezing his body tighter to me, pulling on his hair, I pant into his ear, "God, honey, you feel so good. I fucking love rubbing on you so bad it hurts sometimes."

"Oh Jasssssssper, you feel amazing, baby. I love you so much." Now his hands are down the back of my boxers, and once again we find ourselves dry humping, and our chests are heaving while our hearts are pounding so hard, as hot, humid pants leave our mouths.

We're kissing each other passionately, sucking on lips, biting on tongues, licking on cheeks. It's hot, it's heavy, and it's so fucking awesome right now. I find I can't breathe. My heart's beating so hard in my chest as my blood finds its way to every inch of my body, causing my toes to tingle.

I'm biting his shoulder, sucking on his neck, as I lick my way to find his ear lobe. Taking it between my teeth, his eyes roll back in his head and a gust of air leaves his lungs along with my name.

When I reach his ear, I start to whisper low and gravelly. It sounds strange, even to my ears. I could hardly recognize my own voice.

"I want to taste you. sweetness!" I lick up the shell of his ear as he releases a small moan.

"Let me taste you, baby, please? Let me lick that hard cock of yours." This time a deep groan accompanies both his fists in my hair, pulling hard.

"I want to watch you watch me as I take you deep, I want you hot and sweaty squirming under me baby. Can I please?"

"Oh my God, Jasssssper. Please yes!"

"Pull my hair, baby, make it rough. I want you to make me suck you hard. I want you deep in the back of my throat, sweetness. Can you do that for me baby, huh?"

And now he's hot, sweaty and squirming - just the way I like him - as I forcefully turn him flat on his back.

Sucking his lips one more time, I watch his eyes turn dark deep green and roll to the back of his head. As his neck stretches back, he swallows hard.

Entwining our fingers, bringing his hands down to his waist, I start my journey with my wet hot mouth down his chest and abs.

Dragging my thick heavy tongue over muscles that wrap tight around his chest, ribs and abs, I taste the salty sweat that I've grown to love so much.

My poor boy's pushing up into me, trying to find some kind of friction, begging for some sort of release. With each push, he moves up toward me. I pull myself back, giving him nothing to connect with, making him make the most adorable little pouty noises when he can't get his own way, making me smirk to myself.

Reaching his boxers, I inhale deeply, taking his strong musky man scent into my lungs. As I release his hands, my tongue travels from the base of his cock to the tip, causing a little friction through the material, making his hands go straight to my hair, making him pull hard, and in return, making me hum onto his tip, causing him to shudder from the vibrations.

I lean back, making him whimper and me smirk. As I look up into his dark, sparkling, forest greens, they flutter closed, but he forces them open, trying to stay in the moment.

Removing his boxers, I throw them to the floor, letting them join and become reacquainted with his now rumpled jeans and shirt.

Laying a flat hand on each of his thighs, I grin up at him as I push his legs apart, giving me entrance to his promised land. He grins back, pulling himself forward to place a soft tender kiss on my lips, then licking them before grabbing the front of my hair, pulling me down roughly onto his groin.

Chuckling to myself, I get to work once again, placing my thick heavy tongue at the base, traveling upwards to the tip, making him pant my name into our room, causing me to whimper in response.

Pulling roughly on my hair, he whispers heavily to me, "Please, Jasper, suck me. Please."

My tongue circles his tip, crisscrossing back and forth over his slit, making him hiss and pull my face to him tighter. I look up through my lashes, and my boy is doing as he's been told. He's watching me under his thick, long lashes with his heavily hooded forest greens.

I take him deep in my throat, tracing his shaft with the pad of my tongue, pressing my tongue into the rim at the head of his cock, making him buck up into my mouth and pull my hair tighter, causing me to crush into his groan.

He's thick, smooth, throbbing, and swollen. He's just downright delicious. And I find myself humming around him, savoring his taste. hollowing my cheeks and sucking harder, feeling his body tense and his fists grasp harder into my hair.

Popping myself off him as he whimpers, I look up into the hot, sweaty, heavy lidded face of my boy as he pants and heavily breathes down on me. Winking at him, I let him know with my stare and tone that what I'm about to propose is all right with me.

"Babe, take it. Take me. Do what you have to do. Get your release, I want you to cum, and I want it in the back of my throat."

His eyes flutter closed and his mouth drops open, releasing the most glorious groan from his luscious lips as he grasps me by the side of my head, ears and all, pulling me down, pressing his cock into my lips until my mouth falls open and he's hitting the back of my throat. And fuck me, he gets to work pumping into me.

I'm holding his hips gently as he's thrusting and pulling, pushing and panting, grunting and groaning. I slip my hands under him, cupping his butt in my hands, helping my weakened boy thrust upwards, and as I hollow my cheeks, he screams my name into the air, releasing everything he has into my mouth, over my tongue, and deep into my throat. And as usual, I take it. I take it all, and will continue to take it until the day I die.

Pulling back the covers, I reach for him, scooping him over and into the bed, wrapping myself around his now overly exhausted, overly heated body. He cuddles into my form, kissing my neck and chest as I kiss his hair, and softly he whispers, "Thank you, Jasper, I love you."

"Love you too, sweetness. Now nap. I'll wake you when it's time to shower."

And we're out.

The alarm rang out way to soon - as usual - and we both groan in disappointment and disgust. As I get dressed, Edward heads for the shower.

Entering the kitchen in his scrubs, I handed him a cup of coffee and a snack as both of us stand with our backs to the counter in silence, just sipping on our coffee, contemplating our future.

I escort him to his car, as I have decided to walk. Throwing his messenger bag in the back, he turns to face me, smiling madly.

"Love you, Jasper. Don't have t0o much fun at work tonight." He raises his eyebrows at me. I'll see you later, baby. Keep my side of the bed warm for me, will ya?"

Taking him in my arms kissing him passionately, humming contentedly onto his lips, I lean back to look into his deep forest greens.

"Love you too, sweetness. And you know I will. Don't I always? Isn't that what I'm here for?" Smirking at him, I kiss his forehead.

As I watch him drive off, I start my short walk to the pub, and watch him fade into the distance, waving madly back at me.

Work was crazy. For some reason, everyone, including myself, needed a few drinks tonight. Thank God for Emmett, cause the guys tried a few times to get out of hand, and I really needed his help keeping everything under control.

I leave the pub about two in the morning, Ben sending me on my way, promising to take care of things and lock up. I take off, happy to have the short walk home with time to think and the wind in my hair to clear my head.

Today was exhausting and draining, to say the least. Being faced with the fact that we now have two children coming into our lives was very over\whelming and exciting. I felt empowered, but I had seen it in my boy's eyes: he was worried he didn't know how I would take it, or if i could accept it, and hoped that I could handle it. If nothing else, I was going to prove to him that we could do this and make it through.

After my shower, I climbed under the covers, tossing and turning a little to get comfortable, sighing contentedly to myself, hitting the pillow with a heavy head. Turning one more time, I take a deep breath, feeling my eyes drop heavily, knowing sleep wouldn't be far behind. I know my boy will be home soon, and I'll be able to wrap myself in his warmth. I drift off to sleep with the dreamy thoughts of two messy red heads with forest green eyes, and with a smile on my face, I was out.

I woke with a groan, turning over to wrap myself around my boy and snuggle into his neck, kissing that little mole I love so much right behind his ear. But as I turned, I realized his side of the bed was empty and cold. I palmed it frantically, pulling the covers back and looking at the clock. It's eight A.M! I stare, confused. What the fuck.

Reaching for my phone, I text him, asking him if everything's OK. And hoping that it is.

He's worked over before, you never know what's going to happen when you work at a hospital, or what to expect. But at times like this he usually sends me a text, letting me know he's working over and what time he thought he would be home. But as I look at my phone, it's blank.

I'm feeling it in my stomach, and it's ripping at my chest. Something's wrong. Something's happened. And so help me God, I'm going to get to the bottom of it, even if it kills me.

Rushing to get dressed, I send him one more text, but still no answer. Fuck!

Reaching the hospital, I park my bike as I look around the parking lot. Shit! I let out a deep breath. His car is in the parking lot, thank fuck. I'm going to wring his gorgeous, skinny little neck when I get my hands on him. Smiling widely, I head for the front doors.

Entering the hospital, I head for the reception desk, wanting them to page him to the front so I can kick his sorry ass in front of everyone. But all of a sudden, the smile leaves my face as the nurse behind the desk looks at me with total confusion on her pretty face.

Swallowing deeply and trying to remain calm. I smile slightly at her, and with a hoarse voice, I say, " Hi, Jane, could you page Edward for me please?"

Looking even more confused, she smiles softly at me and says the words I knew were going to come out of her mouth, but was hoping to God and all that is holy that they wouldn't: "Jasper, Edward's not here, sweetie. He left at four when he shift ended." She eye's me curiously.

And at that moment, my head started spinning and all the air left my lungs and the room at the same time...

FUCK ME. FUCK MY LIFE.


	13. Death Wish

Next thing I remember, Jane's trying to help me sit, leading me by the arm while her other hand rests gently on my lower back, guiding me forward, looking up at me with concern as she helps me lower myself down into a chair.

I watch her, but I don't really see her. I think I'm going into shock. Her mouth's moving, but I don't really hear her. Now I know I'm definitely in shock.

I can't understand. It's too hard to concentrate. I can't comprehend what she's trying to say. My heart's pounding in my ears and my head's spinning like crazy, making my chest hurt so God damn bad right now.

And as I watch her, I have to smirk crazily, cause all I hear is the voice of the teacher from the old Charlie Brown shows: " WA.. WA.. WA.. WA...WA..WA.." I blink slowly, realizing that I have finally lost my mind.

What just fucking happened? Where the hell am I? And why the hell am I here?

Then it dawns on me. Shit, shit, shit. I'm at the hospital. I'm here to pick up my boy, and fuck me, Jane says he's not here, he went home. Or so she thought, cause he left at the end of his fucking shift.

And once again, there's a sharp pain barreling through my chest, doubling me over as it hits me like a vise twisting and squeezing tightly around my upper body, and the force of it makes my breathing speed up and my vision blur. I suddenly feel like I'm hyperventilating. My mind's racing as my heart's pounding against my ribcage, trying desperately to break free.

And for some reason, all I can see and focus on is the God damn shiny hospital floor. I stare curiously down at it while tilting my head from side to side. It's white, bright, and shiny - kinda pretty in a way. How the hell they do that? I ask myself. How the hell do they get that shine? I'm lost in thoughts and daydreams, I'm so God damn trying my best not to feel or think of my fucked up situation. But I'm mesmerized and hypnotized as I stare down at my feet and admire the beautiful shiny floor under me.

'Shit! Wonder what they use. I should ask Edward, cause we should get us some for our tile.'

And as I sit in the chair looking down at my feet, nervously tapping my toes, giving myself a tight hug, I fist my jacket until my fingertips scream out in pain, and I start to rock back and forth, back and forth. Sparks flash behind my lids, and a loud strangled sob leaves my chest, crushing me to the core, cause my heart has just reminded me that I can't ask fucking Edward... cause he's not fucking here, God damn it.

I feel the weight behind my eyes and the pounding in them as my ears start to hum, biting the inside of my cheeks, bitterly tasting the blood mixed with saliva, trying my best to hold them back. But I can't. I crumble and they fall. And they fall God damn fucking hard, making me lose it completely.

My head's shaking frenziedly. I feel my hair starting to stick to my lashes and wet cheeks. It's in my mouth, choking me as I cry out, trying to lend voice to my worries, concerns and fears. But I can't. No sound escapes me; my voice is unable to find its way to the surface and be heard.

I hear Jane scrambling. She's frantic. Her worried voice and mannerisms are not settling - they're pushing me further and further into my crazy ass mindset. I feel my blood start to boil, my fists are on my knees as I pound them into my jean clad thighs, trying to feeling the pain. I need the pain. I need to try and stay in the moment, but my mind is racing, and I can't keep one thought at bay without another one racing up behind it and trying to take over.

'Edward, he was at work, right. He worked his shift, right. He left, right. He left to go home, right. But I was home - he didn't make it home, right. I came here - he isn't here, right. So where did he go? Where is he? What happened to him? Where can he be? Who's got him? Who won't let him go? Who won't let him come home to me? Who the fuck would do this and why!

I see Jane look around nervously. Her brow is furrowed as she waves to someone. They're now at my other side, rubbing my shoulders. I look up into the pretty but sad face of Angela, and once again I lose it, cause once more any composure I thought I was enabling myself to control frantically rushes from me, and the buildup in my chest starts to tighten even further, consuming me, wrapping itself in my muscles and squeezing down on each and every bone, crushing me to the point that I just want to die. And at this very moment, I think I would welcome the opportunity.

Now there's even more people, the crowd is growing rapidly with more white coats, and scrubs. I search each and every one of their terrified faces, they're wide eyed and limp mouthed as - I'm guessing from the direction they're all turned - Jane is trying to explain the best she can what has just happened, and the reason why they have a full grown ass man in their reception area having a nervous breakdown and wailing like a fucking baby.

But in all the faces, I can't find the one I'm looking for, the one I want, the one I have to have right now.

Where the fuck is my Edward, and why isn't he here for me?

Why would he do this? Why would he want me to feel this way? Why would he put me through this on purpose? Is he pissed? Did I do something wrong? I don't understand. Wracking my brain, I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong. Running though yesterday in my mind, over and over, and fuck if I can't come up with a God damn thing.

Yes, he got a little freaked out in the morning over us going to hear the baby, finally realizing everything had become so real for him. That I understood, there was a time that I was a little fucking freaked about the baby myself. I know, I know, understatement right!

But he just needed to be grounded and shown that we could do this - that we'd make it work and still be us when all was said and done.

And I thought I did that, I thought I calmed him. made him feel whole again, made sure he knew he was nothing but loved.

Fuck! Maybe I didn't. Maybe I failed.

Would it, or could it, be the thought of two babies? Would that be too much for him?

Did he think he couldn't handle it? Or was he thinking WE couldn't handle it?

Why didn't he let me know? Why didn't he just talk to me, God damn it! God now I'm more pissed.

Thinking back on our day, I'm wracking my brain, trying to figure this shit out.

What happened? God damn it! When he left, everything was fine. We couldn't have been happier.

Or so I thought. Shit, was I mistaken?

I'm drowning in people, nurses and doctors everywhere. I hear them fussing and whispering hurriedly to each other, but can't make out most of what they're saying.

I need to think straight. I need to get to the bottom of this and breathe. I feel unsettled and uneasy right now. And I need to catch a grip and get a hold of this situation before I puke. And then I hear my salvation.

" JAY- JASPER- JASPER HALE-CULLEN! WHERE THE HELL YOU AT, BRO? "

And I sigh in relief.

" JASPER, WHERE YOU AT?" His voice is getting louder and angrier.

And like on cue, they part like the Red Sea, as I watch in awe as his monstrous body comes tumbling towards me, my poor sister in tow, high heels quickly clicking away on the hospital floor. For every one stride from him, she had to run five just to keep up. As he pulls her along, a look of alarm and despair on his usually happy shit eating grinning face, Rose mirrors his facial expressions, only difference being the slight remnants of tear tracks though her flawless makeup, and I feel my heart break a little more.

When he reaches me, he puts his large strong hand on my shoulder, turning to everyone and sternly replying:

" EVERYONE BACK TO WORK NOW. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. SO RUN ALONG; WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM."

Waving each and every one of them off, he circles my chair.

"RUN ALONG NOW, PEOPLE. SHOO, SHOO."

His big fat fingers wiggle at the slowly departing crowd.

"BACK TO WORK...THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE."

Then he's on his knees, face to face with me, looking at me sadly, whispering as he wipes sweat-clumped hair from my forehead.

"Angela called us, Jasper... She told us what happened. Let's take you home, bro... I.. I... We'll get to the bottom of this... I promise."

Then suddenly he's pulling me to my feet, his arm wrapping around my shoulders with the intention of keeping me steady, but my legs seem to have a mind of their own and start to wobble uncontrollably. Rose reaches for my other arm, leaning into me to keep me upright, looking up at me with a small, sad smile. I try to return it, but I'm unable.

I can't remember much of the ride home. Emmett's rambled on and on uncontrollably, and again all I heard was the voice from Charlie Brown. It makes me smirk to myself as I lean my head back against the headrest. My sister keeps glancing behind her to where Im sitting in the back seat, her eyes weirdly enough telling me all, but showing me nothing. I watch as she entwines her fingers with his lovingly, gently, understandingly, trying her best to calm him while her eyes try in vain to reassure me. And again my heart breaks a little more.

Before I know it, and without warning, I'm in my room, sitting on the edge of my bed while she stands between my knees. She's removing my jacket, gently whispering kind and loving words. Then she kneels to remove my boots, letting me know how concerned and worried for me she is.

And all I feel is powerless and weak. I can't help her. I can't move. I can't communicate. I don't feel or care.

My heart is no longer beating. My soul no longer exists. I'm lost and I'm alone. And I've never been so God damn scared in all my life.

She hands me a glass of water and a pill. Her fingers shake slightly as she places them into my palms. Our fingertips touch softly as I take them, looking down at my hands, then up at her, bewildered. She senses my confusion.

"Take it, baby. It will help your nerves." Then she helps me raise my hand to my mouth.

I'm staring into her beautiful sad face with her tears hiding behind her lashes, and I only have one thought turning over in my mind. Shakily, in a soft, sad whisper, it leaves my quivering lips: "But... but... Ed... Edward?"

And finally one of her hiding tears rolls slowly down her cheek as she nods her head gently, and in a whisper trying to answer my question she tells me, "You need to rest first, babe. Then we will go get Edward. But you need your strength, sweetie."

I smile. It's small, but it's there, cause it feels like a promise. It feels like there's hope, and I pray silently to myself.

'God, please, I need all the promise and hope I can get, but I need it right now.'

I wake fully clothed, but cold, as my body shivers and trembles under the light sheet. I slowly open my eyes, noticing it's gotten late. The room is darker now, making it feel like twilight.

Wiping my eyes on Edward's pillow, I inhale deeply one more time before pressing it tightly to my chest. I roll to my side, hugging it even tighter, unable or unwilling to let it go.

It's the same pillow that my beautiful boy lays his head on each night before his long, sexy lashes close to his slumber.

It's the same pillow in which he lays his head as I raise above him to kiss his soft, luscious, delicious lips.

It's the same pillow on which he stretches his neck back in undoing passion as I take him as mine each and every night.

And yes, the same pillow that I'm holding on to like a lifeline, cause his beautiful unadulterated scent still lingers from his nap the day before.

And once again, I lose it. My chest is heavy and painful, my murmurs unable to release in full lung-filling breaths. They just sputter into the darkness, returning to scold and slap me in the face.

My arms wrap tighter around his pillow, crushing it to my lips and nose as I inhale deeply, feeling the burn in my lungs and stinging my eyes as I sob uncontrollably.

Then I feel the bed dip, and my breath hitches. My stilled heart decides to skip right before its last beat.

Pulling the pillow slowly and curiously away from my face, I stare over the top nervously into the most beautiful forest green eyes I have ever seen.

He's kneeling by the bed, his elbows on the covers as he leans in, trying to have our faces as close as possible while his warm, sweet breath fans over mine, filling me with warmth, love, and hope.

And I can do nothing but smile, one of which he returns. But I quickly notice it doesn't reach his eyes, and I frown in confusion at him.

As I try to sit up, he places a cold hand on my shoulder, all the while shushing me telling me to stay just as I am. So bending to his will, I do as I'm told, and relax back into the pillows.

I pull his pillow down to cover my chest, feeling like my life and my aching heart still depend on its warmth.

His voice is strange to my ears. It's not warm and loving, but stern and demanding. There's no longer a warm smile on his beautiful lips or a sparkle in his deep forest greens. He looks sad and worried as our eyes search each other's for some kind of recognition and understanding, making us both frown. Our eyes narrow in confusion and sadness when we can't find either.

He places a cold hand on my cheek, and I instinctively reach up and cover it, wanting to warm it and finally touch him, but he pulls away from my touch with a hiss, frowning his brow even further, making his eyes squint shut and his lips tighten.

He's clutching his hand to his chest, looking back at me, trying unsuccessfully to give a small grin, but its not working. Nothing's working. Nothing's right. Nothing fits. What the fuck... is going on?

I try to speak, but I can't. I need answers. I need explanations. I need - no I God damn want - to know what the fuck is going on. My lips part, but nothing comes out, and before it can, he has a cold finger pressed against them again, shushing me, asking with his cold eyes for me to listen.

I blink slowly, trying to relay that I will be quiet for now, and let him speak.

But I narrow my eyes at him, hoping he understands that I want answers. And he must, cause he nods sharply.

"Jasper, oh Jasper," he whispers softly, but it still sounds wrong and strange to my ears.

"Jasper, I have loved you so long, and so hard." He takes a deep breath. "But I'm not sure I can do this anymore." His eyes close slowly.

My heart stops, and quiet, lonely tears roll down my cheeks. My worst nightmare is finally coming true, and I'm crushed.

"Jasper, you understand, right? Tell me you understand." As his eyes flicker between mine, there's not one sign of compassion or love in his stare.

But I can't. I can't tell him that, cause I don't understand and my heart is breaking while my eyes sting and deep sobs get stuck in my throat.

"Jasper, this is for the best. I can't do this with you anymore. I can't live pretending anymore. I can't live a happy life with nothing more than a bar owner and crying children. It's not me. It's not what I want."

I look at his face in total confusion, the face I have done nothing but love all my God damn life, the face on which my only wish and hope was for it to wear a smile each and every day, trying my best to put it there.

And I see nothing. I see emptiness. I see uncaring. But I see something else, something that wrecks me to the core, something that rips my heart from my chest and stomps all over it, something that tugs on my now cold soul and rips it to pieces. I see... hate... And I die a little more inside.

I can't breathe anymore. I can't focus anymore. I can't comprehend, cause I'm scared, and I just want to give up.

I look at him, confused and frightened, reaching for him, wanting nothing but to touch his warm, soft skin one more time. And as I gasp, accompanied by a whimper, he pulls back sharply, making me sob sadly and harder as my heart is finally devastated. I clutch his pillow tighter to my now cold chest.

He's leaving me with nothing but wreckage in his path of destruction.

I feel nothing. I feel empty. I hear my sobs and I hear my cries, as I hear my heart make its last few beats. As I slowly come to the conclusion that I am now nothing.

With his voice deep and cold, he continues, "Jasper, I've found a new love. I've finally found what I've been looking for all this time, an equal in life, and a more deserving companion."

And my broken heart now melts and spills from my chest, pouring coldly over the sheets below me.

I finally begin to understand... I didn't deserve him. I was never good enough.

"Jasper, don't be sad. This is for the best. Alec will take good care of me. And you don't have to worry, I will be loved, and you can move on."

My head's now shaking from side to side frantically. My heart's pounding rapidly in my chest as my fists tug and pull on the pillows. Heavy sobs leave me as I hear his last whisper before I break.

"Jasper, I'm here to say goodbye. I'm here to pack my stuff. I'm leaving you."

And that's all I need. I use whatever strength left in me and I jump from the bed. I reach for him, wanting to shake him, wanting to punch his God damn face right now for putting me through this. Or maybe I just want to get to hold him one last time, not sure I'll be able to let him go.

And surprisingly enough, I'm met with nothing but air. I open my eyes slowly, looking around my brightly lit bedroom, finally noticing Rose and Alice standing in the doorway awestruck in shock.

I slump down heavily on the bed, realizing that even though this might have been a dream, I was still in my nightmare.

Making my heart break a little more, I bring my now shaky hands to my face, rubbing them briskly while running my fingers through my hair. I try to comprehend what just happened, and to calm my nervous racing heart.

A scared Rose and frightened Alice rush to the bed, sitting down on each side of me.

"You okay, Jay?" Alice asks in a soft voice as she tenderly rubs down my back.

I shake my head; its all I can do. I'm still confused and anxious, my elbows bouncing on my knees as I try to take some deep breaths.

I look over at Rose, and she's shaking her head at me slightly. "Well, you slept for an hour, but did you get any rest, sweetie?"

And once again, all I can do is shake my head at her. I don't know how much more I can take. I don't know what my body's limits are regarding this situation, cause I've never had my heart broken this fucking bad ever.

If Edward and I had fought and we were taking a time out, I would understand a little better.

But this - this thing - whatever the fuck this is - is just so fucking wrong, and someone's going to fucking die if that's what it takes for me to get to the fucking bottom of it.

I rest my head back down on my shaking hands while my elbows still bounce on my knees, causing my head to pound even more. I take a deep, shaky breath, finally coming to the conclusion that I need a fucking plan, and I need it now.

I reach for the glass of water, taking a long gulp, letting my nerves settle and my mind readjust. My eyes close slowly as I inhale sharply. Then the next thing I know, they spring to life and I finally realize what I have to do. I turn to Rose, surprising her with my question: "Emmett still here?"

She nods slowly, concern written all over her face. As I head for the shower, I yell over my shoulder, "Tell him I need him! Pronto!" I close and lock the bathroom door behind me, feeling a little more energized than I did a few hours ago, now that I've made a decision.

When I exit the bathroom, Emmett's sitting on my bed, nervously twiddling his thumbs as one knee bounces with anticipation. As I approach, raising my eyebrow, he stands. A slight grin crosses his face, and his eyes are full of excitement. He can feel it. He senses the charge that is now running through my veins, and he can tell I have a plan. He knows that if its not a plan per se, then I'm going to cause someone at least a lot off hurt. And the thrill of getting to kick some ass is causing him to jump clear out of his skin.

Pulling on my jeans and t-shirt, I inquire after Angela, wondering if she was still at the hospital or if she had made her way here.

Emmett informs me that she's downstairs with Rose and Alice, Ben having dropped her off before he went to open the pub, knowing that she would want to be here with us, wanting to know if there was any news.

I make a mental note to give Ben a fucking raise when all this was over with, and hoping I'll be around and able to do so. The guy really knows when he's needed, and is able to step right up to the fucking plate, no questions asked. And above all, his and Angela's loyalty to Edward and me is just immeasurable, and can no longer go unnoticed.

Feeling the electricity running through me, I head down the stairs, Emmett in tow, calling out for Angela. As all three girls come running into the kitchen excitedly, I see the look of hope on their faces, which soon falls when they realize that it's not news I have for them, but a question for Angela, and they frown, confused.

"Angela, where does Alec Volturi live?" I reach into the fridge for a bottle of water, trying to make my inquiry nonchalant.

"Huh, what do you mean where?" She eyes me curiously.

"I mean, pretty lady," smirking at her, "if I needed to speak to one Doctor Alec Volturi, and he wasn't at the hospital, where would I find him?"

"Oh...OOOOOHHH" She eyes me nervously, as I think it dawns on her what I'm asking.

Alice and Rose are now finally at her side, looking between us, waiting with anticipation and held breath to see or hear if she will spill the beans and give me the information I so desperately need.

"Jasper, shouldn't we wait and see what the cops find out? Shouldn't we hold off until we get some news from them?" she asks timidly.

Rose eyes her wearily. "Angela, the police wont do anything for twenty-four hours. They're saying that Edward's a grown man, and can leave when ever he wants.

"We all know Edward would never leave Jasper, and now the babies, unless he had been forced." Looking at her sadly, she tries her best to pour on the guilt.

And I'm praying to all that is holy that she has.

Angela looks to each of us anxiously, and with a little more concern. She's biting on her bottom lip painfully as her eyes dart back and forth, as I'm sure she's weighing her options.

And I'm hoping and praying to all things powerful that her love for Edward and her loyalty to us both will outweigh anything she has on her pretty little mind right now.

Her gaze rests on me as her eyes turn sad and pitiful. I watch a tear roll down the left side of her face. She blinks, trying to hold the rest of them back, and it nearly pulls me in. It nearly takes me over. It nearly makes me rethink my actions. But I straighten myself taking a deep breath and repeat my question, giving her my best Jasper Hale-Cullen smile - yep, dimples and all.

"Jasper, no fair with the mind tricks!" She sadly smiles up at me, smacking my chest while her lashes flutter slowly closed and she wraps her tiny little arms around my waist, squeezing me to her tight, all the while fessing up doctor fucking Volturi's address.

And I think to myself. Thank you, Lord.

Kissing her forehead and hugging her tightly, I look over at Emmett as he winks at me slyly, scrap paper in hand, slipping it into his jean pocket and slapping his ass for effect. I smirk at him mischievously, now knowing where I'm going to find the slimy bastard.

All three women surround us at the front door as Emmett grabs his keys from the side table. With kisses and hugs and 'be safe' and 'careful' leaving each and every one of their mouths, Emmett and I turn to leave. But I'm stopped in my tracks by Alice's hand on my arm.

"Jasper, I know what you're up to, and I know what your capable of. I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that this works out for you, but for the sake off the peanuts, please don't do anything stupid." She lowers my hand to her belly, pressing me gently to her.

Without thinking, I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap my arms around her waist as I press my lips to her belly, whispering softly, "Peanuts, its daddy here!" I chuckle to myself at my craziness, thinking I've finally lost my mind.

Giving her belly a little rub, I continue, "Peanuts, daddy needs your help right now. I'm hoping you both can hang in there for little while longer and be good. Don't give Aunt Alice too much trouble while I'm gone. Can ya promise me that?" I look up, watching her smile softly to herself as silent tears roll down her now pale cheeks.

"Do your daddies a favor and send some love and nice peaceful calming thoughts our way, as we're in a wee bit of a pickle, and I have a feeling it's going to be a long, hard day. But don't worry your little heads, babies. Everything will turn out just fine. I promise."

"I'll be home before you know it. I'm just going to get daddy and bring him home safely, OK?" Pressing my lips a little closer and lowering my voice to less than a whisper I continue. "But just in case, I want you both to know how much we love you, and have wanted nothing more than to be able to love and take care of you both. Daddy and I have been so excited and overjoyed that you are coming into our lives, and we can't wait to see you.

"So please promise me when ya get here, you don't pay daddy E much mind. He's just been waiting for you for so long, and he's just a little over excited at times. He may be a little overly protective, but please remember to cut him a break and not give him too much of a hard time. Just know that he really loves and cares for you both, and only wants what's best."

I close my eyes, releasing a deep sigh. Then I lean my forehead on her stomach, saying a small prayer that I can keep my promise to my children and their father before tenderly kissing her belly twice.

I rise to my feet, hearing the sniffles and sobs from everyone standing in the small hallway, but I can't make eye contact with them. I just turn and leave abruptly, not wanting to know their thoughts or see the sadness in their eyes.

Reaching the Jeep, I jump in, wiping the lone tear on the sleeve of my jacket. I'm trying my best to keep my head in the game, so taking a deep breath, I do my best to push the twins and Edward to the back burner for a few hours.

I know that I have one goal, and one goal only, and that's to find Alec Volturi, and have him begging for mercy on the better end my fucking fist.

Remembering my dream, my body shivers, and I have to rub my hands together to stop them trembling. Edward fucking Hale-Cullen is my husband and the father of my children, and I'll be fucking damned if I'll let any fucker walk in to our lives and fuck with it.

Emmett checks the address over one more time before shoving it back in his pocket. He jumps in, banging his giant shit shoveling hands on the steering wheel excitedly. Looking over at me, he grins widely. "LET'S DO THIS, BRO."

I nod in agreement as we drive down the street out onto the main road.

As we arrive at the apartment building on the outskirts of town, where Angela told us Alec lived, my anticipation begins to grow. I know this bastard had something to do with Edward's disappearance, and if it kills me, or if I have to kill him, I'm getting to the fucking bottom of it.

The fucker just doesn't know who the hell he's messed with. And so help me, God, if he's harmed a fucking hair on my boy's head, God will be the only one who knows what I'll do to him.

The fucker won't know what hit him once I get my hands on him. There's not a city, state, or country that he could escape to where I wont find him and gladly eat his balls for breakfast.

Entering the building, we make our way to the elevators, pressing the button to Alec's floor. I lean back against the wall and wait. Stealing a quick look at Emmett, he's nervous, and its understandable. This is not his first rodeo with me. He has had my back more than once over the years, as I have had his.

But he knows and understands without a word having to be spoken, just how different this one is. He knows that my life is on the line here. And that my whole God damn world depends on the outcome.

The elevator bings, letting us know that we've finally made it, as the doors open slowly. My heart pounds in my chest, and I smile wickedly to myself. It's letting me know I have something to fight for, and it's giving me the courage to push forward into the waiting hallway.

As I look to Emmett, I can tell that he's mirroring my expressions and mannerisms. I'm sure his chest is expanding tightly due to the pounding of his very own heart and the running of thick hot blood through his veins. His eyes close slowly as he tries to calm himself, taking deep, harsh breaths.

At last they open and he looks over at me grinning before he whispers. "Let's do this, bro. Let's go get Edward and take him the hell home!" and I nod in agreement once again.

He lifts his fist, silently asking me to pump it. I look at him questioningly, and with a smirk raising my eyebrow in his direction, he smiles widely at me, pumping again into the air and saying quietly, "Please humor me, bro." And I do gladly as we both pump fists, exiting the elevator, grinning to each other like the dorks we are.

Finding his door, we both stand silently in front of it, glancing between each other and the entrance, nervously shifting our weight from side to side as our fists clinch white by our sides, pounding on our thighs from time to time. The tension starts to grow as the temper boils and our breathing becomes rough and shallow.

Emmett's watching me from the corner of his eye. "Would he think we're rude if we don't knock?" he whispers.

I glance over to him, raising my eyebrows. "Do we really give a fuck?" I answer with a smile.

"Oh, hell no!" we both yell in unison.

And with that, Emmett steps back, raising his foot to the door, kicking on the lock. Hearing the wood crack made my breath hitch. Knowing this was it, there would be no going back.

Then he takes another step back, and this time, kicking harder, his steel-toed boot came in contact with the lock dead center. And with a loud bang and deafening crash, the door swings open into the apartment.

Trying our best not to look suspicious just standing stunned listening to the fast pounding of our racing hearts, we both glance eagerly and nervously up and down the hallway, waiting for someone to come out from behind their doors, or even step unexpectedly off the elevator. But as we take one last deep breath, no one shows, not one little peep. Looking over at each other, we both cock our heads to the side in surprise, widening our eyes and grinning like fools as we cautiously take our first step across the threshold of Alec Volturi's apartment.

God, this place is huge, and fucking bright, God damn it. We head down the hall that opens into a large living area with a kitchen off to the side. Looking over to my right, I see a smaller hallway, which I assume is where the bedrooms are located.

Emmett went straight for the living area as I headed to the bedrooms. Opening the first door, I find myself in what I think would be a spare bedroom. It's not decorated - there's just cardboard boxes lined up along the walls, some opened, some not. I think to myself that he hasn't fully unpacked yet.

Stupid fucker's been spending too much time trying to get his hands in my husband's pants to unpack his crap!

I start ripping them open, pulling shit out and throwing it to the floor. Stuff's rolling and breaking, smashing and denting, but I don't give a fuck. I'm not closely examining anything or really giving a shit about his property. The guy's a moron. Why would I ever give a fuck about him. I'm tearing through closets and pulling down curtains, everything scattered and piled on the floor around me.

Moving to the master-bedroom, I basically start the same process all over again. I'm pulling shit apart, ripping it to shreds. Curtains and covers are flying, mattress is overturned and drawers scattered from one end of the room to the other. The master bathroom gets some of the same treatment as I yank on the shower curtains and rip off cupboard doors. I'm showing no mercy. I want to leave destruction in my path.

Returning to the living area, I finally meet up with Emmett. All flushed and excited, he's grinning from ear to ear, pillow feathers in his hair while his knuckles are red and swollen due to punching walls, with white power on the tips of his steel -toed boots, remnants from the drywall and plaster after kicking large holes and creating new doorways and windows.

We stare at each other spent and frustrated. Looking around eagerly one more time, I sigh deeply as I feel my heart slow and grow heavier.

"What the fuck! Emmett, there's nothing here - not even fucking Alec!" Bending at the waist, I'm pressing my hands to my knees, trying to take a breath and calm my nerves.

"Jasper! There's not a single piece of anything left unturned in this God damn place. We've ripped doors off, put holes in walls the size of windows and doors. We've pulled curtains down, and cut through covers and pillows. I don't know what the fuck else we can do!" He walks over to the large windows. As he stares across the vast open spaces of our little town. The silence is deafening and all consuming and I'm sure it's not only my own heartbeat I'm listening to. I can hear Emmett's if I try hard enough. Then putting his hands on his hips, he asks curiously.

"Why didn't he take the house?"

My head turns sharply in his direction as my eyes narrow in confusion." Huh? What house?"

He turns to face me. Folding his large arms across his chest, he smirks. "The house that's offered to visiting doctors by the hospital. The new doctors get to live in it for a year rent free!"

I'm looking at the floor, my mind racing at this new possibility. Then I make eye contact with Emmett once more.

"How the hell do you know about this house? And where the fuck is it, man?"

Walking towards him, placing my hands on his forearms as he still has them crossed over his chest, I look to him, hoping with all my heart that what he has just said is true. Meaning this is not over yet... Meaning we can still have faith... Meaning I still have hope to bring my boy home in one piece...

"Rose mentioned it once!... Before you guys were coming home for good!... Remember?.. After you'd finished college!" He looked at me all knowingly, and I looked at him dumbfounded that he'd even remembered.

"She was telling me that if Edward had waited till he had finished school to come home, they would have offered him this doctors' house that they had in town for free!" He tilts his head to the side, looking at me, trying to make me understand.

"But with you and Edward already had your own place here, cause you guys went back and forth so many times. And with Edward still finishing his schooling nearby, you guys didn't get the offer for the free house. And she thought it was a shame; that's all." His huge shoulders shrug like a child, making me smile at him.

His eyes lowered to the floor, then rise to meet mine once again. I felt hope and excitement building in my chest as I pulled him towards the front door, climbing over broken chairs, torn curtains and smashed dishes, smugly thinking to myself that if nothing else, the fucker will never get his fucking security deposit back. And I laugh the whole way to the elevator.

Reaching for my phone, I hit speed dial, tapping my foot nervously as I wait.

"Angela? Hi, it's Jasper! No, no news yet! He wasn't there! Do you know anything about the doctors' house in town, and where it is?" My heart's racing, hoping she knows the answer.

Hanging up smiling madly, I shove the phone back in my pocket turning to Emmett who's staring at me with a look of concern.

I smile widely in return hoping to ease him at least a little. "Right on Baker Street!" And he gives me one sharp nod, as we both sprint towards his Jeep.

Pulling up to the big old house, I'm actually impressed. The house is huge with beautiful grounds, and I'm feeling a little depressed, cause I could really see our kids playing in that big old yard. But as we get closer, a shiver runs up my spine and my body shudders as all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Looking over at Emmett, we both narrow our eyes at each other as our lips tighten into a frown. And then he winks at me slyly. Nodding his head, he says, " HE'S HERE?" and I nod my response yet again.

It's late afternoon, and the sun is descending behind the trees, making the big old house look a little scary and intimidating. As we stay guarded and cautious, we both scan the area swiftly, expecting the worst, but hoping for the best, making our way up the front steps to the big old wrap around porch. We both eye the front door warily.

Stepping back, I let Emmett and his big old work boots get to work. As he once again brings his un-human sized tree truck leg up and kicks the door so hard, this time it just hangs there by the hinges, making me come up behind him and give him a big old pat on the back as he grins widely at me and winks.

Entering the house, it's dark, and from my first quick scan, I see that there's a hell off a lot more doors, which makes me nervous. My mind's racing and my heart is now pounding in my throat. Cause I sense it... I feel it... The fucker's here, and he's ready to fight.

But I feel something else. It starts in my toes, and it's running up my legs through my gut and lands in every cavity and compartment of my heart, and my body uncontrollably shivers. Edwards here! I feel him. I sense him. And if nothing else, I know him. And with every beat my heart takes, I know my boy is in this house somewhere.

And suddenly I'm anxious.

Emmett creeps down the hallway silently, and I find myself being even more impressed that this huge over-muscled, larger than life, big-hearted guy can maneuver so softly in and out of all the crannies in this big old house like a stealth. And once again, I find myself in awe as I reach for his arm. He glances over his shoulder in confusion, narrowing his eyes to me. And I smile, squeezing his bicep in appreciation, and he knowingly nods in response, giving me another one of his signature winks.

The house is cold and smells stale, telling me that no one is actually living here. But as we enter the kitchen, I notice food wrappers on the countertop and discarded trash in the trash can, informing me that someone is definitely in here somewhere, and my fingertips tingle in anticipation.

Emmett taps my shoulder. As I turn to look in his direction, he points towards a door which I'm guessing is the basement, raising my eyes to the ceiling, letting him know silently that I'd like to try upstairs. He continues to point towards the basement as we find ourselves having a pointing war, me pointing up, him pointing down. Leaning in, he whispers in my ear quietly, "Trust me, bro!" So I concede and nod, cause I do. With my life. Or should I say with Edward's? And he smiles.

Then in one split second, we're frozen. We hear a door close, and it must be sticking, cause whomever it is closing it, they're having a hard time, and they have to pull it a few times, making the slamming noise echo throughout the house.

And once again, this time sharply, Emmett points to the basement door. And this time I nod in full agreement.

He opens the door quietly, then turns to me, placing a finger on his lips, shushing me silently as he creeps down the basement steps, taking them two at a time. I find myself following his lead, hitting every step in turn with him.

Reaching the bottom, we both stand back to back, each scanning our own side of the large open stone walled room. It's damp and stale, cold and ugly, and the thought that my boy has had to spend any time whatsoever in this dark, dismal cell pisses me the fuck off. And I feel the anger creep up my spine, running down my arms, setting up residence in my fists as I pull them up in front of me, close to my chest in a defensive stance.

We find ourselves joined at the back as we take a few steps in the direction Emmett needs to go, then a few more steps in the direction I find myself wanting to go, all the time scanning the room suspiciously, doing our best to stay alert and aware of our surroundings.

Then we both freeze and stop breathing, as we are now aware that someone else has entered the room and has joined the party, and their breath has just hitched in their chest from behind us.

And in a split second, we both turn and come face to face with the fucking man of the fucking hour, Doctor Alec Fucking Volturi, and I can do nothing but see red. And like lightning, I'm on him, not knowing how we got there, and pretty much not giving a shit as I find myself on top of him, as he lays flat on his fucking back in the dirt, where he belongs.

He's screaming as he's punching, scraping and kicking, but I don't give him a chance to make contact. I straddle his waist and go to town, my fists coming down hard, feeling the resistance of flesh, bone and muscle under my knuckles. But I don't give a fuck, I keep up my pace as I hear slaps and cracks every time I make contact with his neck, jaw and head, egging me on, making me feel powerful and vindicated. I want him to hurt. I want him to suffer. And right now, I want him to die cause of what he's put us through.

Then all too soon, Emmett steps in, pulling me off him as my body keeps up its motions, unable to control the adrenaline that now runs through my veins as my heart pounds in my chest and ears. My breathing comes in pants and grunts but I can't stop. I have no control. I'm still kicking and punching in the direction of the limp body that now lays before us.

Releasing me once I stop struggling against his weight and strength, I stand exhausted and drained as I wipe my sore, swollen hands along my jean legs, removing the sweat and easing the pain just a little. Reaching up, I wipe my hair and sweat from my brow. We both stand to full attention, with me still panting for air due to the adrenaline rush, and Emmett panting for air due to nerves and anxiety.

Alec lays in the dirt, all bloody and broken, and I can do nothing but smirk down at the fucker, kicking him a few times as I pace back and forth, trying to calm myself and slow my heart. I shake my hands into the air, easing off the pain that now shoots up through my fingers along my arms landing hard in my shoulders. But I welcome it, I embrace it. I feel relieved and appeased now that I've taken care of this bastard, and finally got to put the hurting on him for a change.

I'm pulled from my musing as I hear Emmett run around the basement frantically. He's opening doors and pulling out boxes, and I follow his lead. There's about five small storage rooms down here, and they're all dark and disgusting, smelling stale and musty, feeling really fucking cold and damp.

I'm praying to God that Edward's here somewhere, cause I have nowhere else to turn, nowhere else to look if Alec isn't behind this, or has taken him somewhere I don't know, then I'm fucking shit out of luck, and the thought scares the living shit out of me.

Each room is full of equipment and boxes, old hospital beds and broken x-ray machines and cabinets, probably stuff stored from the hospital and past tenents. We're pulling boxes out into the middle of the floor, pushing equipment out of the way and climbing over machines.

And then it dawns on me and I call Emmett out into the middle of the basement floor. He eyes me curiously, narrowing his eyes as I reach in my pocket pulling out my phone.

Hitting speed dial, I smile to myself and him as I pull Emmett tighter. He still eyes me curiously, finally coming to the conclusion that I've lost my mind.

And then, thank you, God and all that is holy, I hear it... Nora Jones, Turn me on... and I run in the direction of Edward's ring tone.


	14. All Nightmare Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is from Edwards POV...

What's going on? Everything's fuzzy… I can't think. What's wrong with me?

My head hurts and I'm so confused. I can't move. I can't even open my eyes. What the heck! I try to breathe and clear my head, but I'm just more aware of the constant pounding behind my eyes. It's so bad, my ears are humming and ringing painfully. What the hell is going on? Why can't I open my God damn eyes? Shit!

Tasting the bile that laces my tongue and invades my taste buds, it takes but a few moments before the churning registers in my stomach and I feel it cramp, causing me to dry heave and choke. Reflexively, somehow, I roll on my side, unable to hold back the desire and need to vomit.

It consumes me, overtaking my need and desire to try and control the sensation, making me shudder. I feel myself gulping back thick, heavy saliva. I'm desperately sucking air through my mouth and nose, but it's thick and damp, making me cringe as a foul, decaying, stale scent hits me smack in the face, stinging my eyes. That, accompanied with the burning sensation in my nostrils, is the last straw. My body cannot hold back any longer, and my whole frame spasms uncontrollably, right before releasing the contents of my stomach everywhere; and suddenly I'm overwhelmed and weak, coughing franticly, unable to catch my breath.

Shit! In no time the liquid is soaking into my clothes. What the hell! Its cold dampness makes my skin crawl, and I feel my stomach rumble again. Fuck this.

I need to wipe my face, so I concentrate and try to bring my hand up in order to remove the offending effusion from my lips and chin. WHAT? I panic. My hands are bound.

Okay, I have to open my eyes. I try. Damn it, I can't! What the hell!

Fine. Breathe. I try to inhale deeply. Panicking will do me no good. But then a sharp pain runs up my spine and lands in my chest, threatening to consume me. Shit!

I try pulling my hands and wrists apart, frantically sinking deeper into dread and despair. Try as I might, I can't understand what's happening. I twist and squirm uncontrollably, probably hurting myself more in the process. Terror has taken over, and I sense myself losing every coherent thought I've ever had. To make matters worse, the tattoo in my head is getting louder and stronger, making my eyes water and my throat contract once again. I feel the bile rising in my throat again.

Easy, Edward. I try to force my brain back into control. Take it easy. You have to calm down.

A tremble goes through me as I try once again to pry my eyelids apart. It feels like sandpaper is being scraped over my eyeballs – the harshness causes the sting to start up again, and I feel the tears roll down my cheeks once more. Relax. Think.

Pressing my hands together, I slowly raise them and wipe away some of the dampness from my face. It helps, but I'm still squirming and spasming. I have to struggle to get any volume of air in my lungs. A deep breath is out of the question – the pain in my chest is excruciating when I try.

God, my head! I decide to try the opposite tack. Squeezing my eyes tight, I feel new tears slide down my cheeks, slipping between my lips. My tongue instinctively sweeps over them, back and forth, and I taste the bitter flavor of salt and blood. What the... What's God damn going on here?

I need to ease the pressure from my pounding head and aching joints, but this God forsaken shit is only making things worse. My body's trembling as my nerves try to get the better of me.

Controlling my breathing is key, so I try again to take a deep breath, hoping to ease the pressure. I hear a wheeze, but I try again, and I'm rewarded with a stabbing pain. The wheezing gets heavier and louder. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I was having a heart attack; but I'm not, it's something else - something new to me. I've never felt like this before.

My head spins uncontrollably, so I try to relax, but my heart is pounding hard and heavy in my chest. Every nerve ending is on alert, and my skin tingles, covering me with the sensation of pins and needles,

I tell myself to raise my feet, but the need to sit up is stronger. I try with all I have, and feel my head lift off the cold, hard surface, but it doesn't last. It's too heavy, and it falls with a heavy thud.

What the hell is going on?

And then it hits me. Fear. It's Fear. I've never felt it like this before. But then I've never been this afraid before. God damn Fear.

My whole body shivers at the thought, and I shudder from head to toe. I feel it in every bone and through every muscle. I feel it in my core. My head and heart pound even harder, and a sharp pain shoots across my eyelids. Feeling the sting and burn once more, I whimper. What the hell is going on?

Slow breaths, Edward. Take it easy. I pray that my body will start listening to my mind. Stay calm.

Without trying to open my eyes, I bring my wrists up to my face wiping them over my mouth. I stop, and then slide them over my lips again. Tape! They're bound with medical tape!

I try pulling on it with my teeth, but there are too many layers. God damn it. What's going on? Where the hell's Jasper? Why isn't he here helping me? And that fucking thought pushes me over the edge, and I cry even louder and harder. "I Want Jasssssssper!" I whisper and whimper into my clenched fists, biting down on my fingers. And God help me, my eyes still sting, burning in their sockets. Jasssssssper…

My sobs are barely audible, my cries taking on a childlike demeanor, settling deeper in my chest and causing me to pant uncontrollably, If I could only wrap my head around this. If I could only come up with an explanation, maybe I could understand this crap.

I remember leaving for work; Jasper had walked me to the car, kissing me like his life depended on it, which he constantly reminds me that it does. Swiping my tongue over my chapped lips, I can still taste his faint flavor, and it makes me want to wail. Where the hell are you, Jasper?

I remember not wanting to leave - just wanting to stay right where I was, wrapped in him in his love, his passion, his comfort. But I had known I had to go, reminding myself that I would be back in his arms in no time at all.

So leaving reluctantly, I had driven down our street, watching his long, lean, sexy legs glide across the sidewalk with the wind blowing through his sexy-as-all-hell blond hair. I had just wanted to run my fingers through it one more time - maybe get a chance to tug on the ends, making him release one of his deliciously deep moans. I grin and shift uncomfortably in my seat, as I watch him make his way to the pub.

All I could do then was smile dreamily like a crazy person and wave like a madman. I recall thinking how lucky I am, and counting the hours and minutes until I would be wrapped up with him again.

Work had been crazy. We had been incredibly busy; but then I enjoy nights like that. They seem to go by quickly, leaving little time to dwell on my Jasper sleeping alone. Then, surprisingly, the shift is over, and I'm on my way home to the arms of my loving man way sooner than expected.

The only aggravating point of the whole night had been Alec driving me crazy – and way more than usual. He had been up my ass all night long, tormenting me, trying to push my limits, hoping I would break. Fat chance of that ever fucking happening, asshole!

Truthfully, I had been eager to get the hell out of there and be done with him and his sorry ass breathing down my neck. His God-awful cheap cologne and his hideous halitosis made my stomach turn with every exhale he took. I swear the guy ate nothing but shit mac-muffins for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and wouldn't know his way around a toothbrush or shower if his life depended on it – and he's a doctor? What freaking med school did he go to!

I had come to the conclusion that the guy just made me physically ill.

Wherever I was, he was. Wherever I went, he went. I have told him so many times to leave me be - that I wasn't interested. He simply would not listen! My voice fell on deaf ears, and he was pissing me the hell off so badly. Some of the nurses even sensed my distress, and tried to distract him, but the fucker would have none of it, making up one excuse after another.

He has pestered and pushed me to the point of wanting to kick his ass myself. Well at least Jasper wouldn't have to worry anymore, I thought smugly, causing me to smile, despite my predicament.

Being rude to him was getting easier too – now that I knew and understood that he wasn't the person he pretended to be at first. I allowed myself the freedom of telling him to go to hell, and it felt very liberating and empowering, though very out of character for me. Jasper has been reassuring me too, telling me how proud of me he is. And with every compliment he gives me, the stronger I feel.

But truthfully, I've really had my fill of good old Doctor Volturi since – if not before – that night at the pub.

I think back to that night when my friends wanted to take me to the pub to celebrate the baby with Jasper and me. I had been so excited, and had known Jasper would get a kick out of it, so I had really been looking forward to having a great time…

Until someone slipped and mentioned it in front of Alec. I hadn't intentionally snubbed him, but I didn't really want him there. He had only been at the hospital a couple of weeks, but in that short time, he'd started giving me such a hard time, making snide remarks about my husband and our marriage. He'd even had the gall to ask if I was really sure I'd found the right man to spend the rest of my life with, explaining that I could do so much better, all the while raising his eye brows at me. Even being so bold as to ask how I could be content just settling for a bar owner – and was I really sure that said bar owner and a whining ass crying baby would make me happy?

Of course, he even made me rethink my life or reconsider or question my actions, if anything, he helped reinforce my choices. I knew what I wanted. I knew where I belonged, and that was with Jasper. It always has been, and always will be, Jasper. There has never been any question. There would be no other for me.

I was as happy as one man legally should be. I knew I could never find anyone else to love me and take care of me the way Jasper does and always has.

I have never even bothered looking at others. From his first day in high school, when I saw my beautiful angel stride seductively by me without him even noticing his surroundings, I knew I had to have him, own him, and make him mine. That's what I was determined to do, and I set out to succeed.

The fact that Alec, a virtual stranger, was questioning it, undermining it, just pissed me off even more.

So although Alec joining us at the bar that night made me a little apprehensive and anxious, I think that was when I first realized he was as stupid as he looked.

He had already met Jasper, and seen him in action - and to say my man could be intimidating at times would be an understatement. Jasper might be overly-protective and possessive, but I love him dearly for it. But taking anyone else's bullshit was not a strong point of his, so if Alec even thought for one second that he would be able to waltz into that pub and act like nothing had happened, he had another think coming, and a rude awaking ahead of him.

If Jasper even had an inkling that Alec was up to something, he would diffidently 'put the hurt on him' (his words, not mine). And knowing Jasper the way I do, I was sure he'd already seen Alec coming. He has a sense for this kind of stuff - an eerie ability to read people's intentions. So the minute he realized or suspected that Alec has been trying to intimidate me or disrespect our marriage in any way, there would be hell to pay.

With this in mind, I made my way into the pub timidly and anxiously. I really didn't want my husband to have to defend our honor to a jerk such as Alec.

It's not in my nature to be confrontational. I tend to wait things out, and hope that people would just tire of pushing, and back the hell off. Jasper, however, would never sit back, especially if he knew there were people that just wouldn't take no for an answer. The ones with no morals or respect for others had to be pushed back, and with that in mind, and being a little bit of a hothead, so to speak, Jasper did the pushing.

Considering we both take our marriage very seriously.

The fact that some people don't understand, and that some states don't even consider us a couple, is and always will be dis-heartening, but we stood our ground. We knew what we were up against, and we knew that what we have is real. We're making a good life together, and that's all that matters to us. As long as we have the people we love, and who have supported us, surrounding us, we will always make this work.

We had stood before family and friends and made vows and promises to one another and them that what we were doing was for life - till death do us part - and we meant each and every word.

So to think that someone would try and belittle what we had worked so hard to keep sacred, and the family we were trying to create, just blew my mind.

Jasper on the other hand took it in stride, saying there was always an asshole around every corner.

His eyes met mine as soon as I was in the door, and he sensed my distress. Without ever needing to question why, he came to my rescue, engulfing me in his warm embrace, with his tender touches and caring words. I was able to melt in to him, and for a little while, Alec was put on the back burner.

But he never went far. He was always hovering, letting me know that he wasn't about to give up. Thus the asshole didn't take long to get under Jasper's skin and on his last nerve.

When I saw Jasper ask Alec to join him at the bar, I knew it was the moment of truth. This was going to make or break our whole existence. Knowing I would still have to work with said asshole, the outcome made me nervous.

But I know Jasper. Hot head, YES. Unintelligent, NO. He's smooth and classy until it's time not to be.

And when I looked up, I saw it. I guess the time had come - not to be - because Jasper's fist was connecting to Alec's face.

That very moment, every concern, worry, and fear just drained from my body, as all I could see was my sexy-as-all-hell husband all hot and bothered before me. With a look of a mischievous child waiting to be scolded, I saw panic set in, and he tried his best to look at everything and nothing all at the same time, rather than look at me.

I remember feeling lightheaded and excited. Every nerve ending had come to life as my blood ran through me like a raging river. Stopping at all the right points, it had given me the strength to walk to him, slowly fanning his beautiful face with my hot breath panting heavily. And in a low, breathy voice, I had basically told him to get his coat, 'cause I was going to take him home and fuck him senseless. And if memory serves me right, I did!

Sighing shakily at the memory of that night, my body shudders and chills run up my spine. The dampness is starting to set into my clothes, and the stickiness from my puke clinging nastily to my skin makes me want to claw through my scrubs and rip them from me. As I feel the bile rise again in my throat, I cough to ward off the sensation, but then saliva builds quickly into a pool on my tongue, making me gag uncontrollably.

My joints hurt from lying here. My chest hurts from puking. And my God damn eyes still hurt and sting, but at least I'm able to open them slightly. I sigh. My vision is blurry as the tears blind me, but through the "liquid curtain," I can make out a stone wall. I fight to keep my eyes open, scanning the area. I'm surrounded by it.

I'm on some kind of mattress on the floor. Bouncing a little I realize it's not very thick, as my coccyx hits the hard floor underneath with every thrust. Pain shoots up my spine and neck, feeding the heavy pounding in my head, and my eyes water even more. God damn it.

I look around suspiciously, warily twisting my neck, not wanting to cause myself more pain, especially as I have no idea of what damage has been done to my body already. I don't want to push myself too hard, and hurt myself even more.

But I have to get a sense of where I am. I have to find a way to get myself out of this mess. I have to get back in one piece to Jasper and the kids. This hell hole will not be my final resting place, should I not be found.

Thoughts of Jasper and the kids tears my heart, and a heavy sob escapes as I squeeze my eyes shut, holding back yet another round of tears. I must get free. I must get back to them. I will not have them wondering or worrying about whatever has happened to me. The thought that they would have to go through their lives with regret or pain just intensifies my despair.

The notion of Jasper having to go on without me just rends my heart. Never seeing his beautiful face or getting to touch his warm, soft skin… or hear his velvet drawl as he whispers tender words while making love. I'm crying now. The thought of never getting to make love to Jasper again – seeing him move above me, feeling him deep inside me, having him take me, claim me, submitting to his every whim, wanting nothing but to be one with him.

Then my breath hitches as a thought cross's my mind.

If this is it, would he move on? If this is the end, would he find someone else? If all was said and done, would he love another?

But he needs to be loved, he needs to be looked after, he needs to be taking care off, just as much as he takes care of everyone else.

But as I lay here in the dirt cold, hungry, and wet. I have nothing but time to think.

Do I really want him to go on? Do I really want him to find someone else? Hell No!

But I can't be selfish. I can't take that away from him. He needs love in his life. He needs a partner to take care of. That's his role. That's his desire. He needs to feel wanted, needed, and above all, he needs to feel loved.

But the thought of him being with someone else kills me. I'm a selfish bastard at times. He is mine, and has been mine alone. Neither one of us has ever been with another. Only our lips have touched. Only our limbs have tangled. Only our bodies have joined.

And the thought of someone doing all that to him consumes my heart, squeezes it tight, then pulls it apart. I gasp for air, and I can't catch my breath. Shit, this fucking sucks!

He'll have the kids, at least. They'll be his world. He'll love them like no one has ever been loved before. He'll be such a good daddy – so caring, and tender, and protective. They'll want for nothing, and they will never live a day without knowing how special they are. He'll take care of them for me... For us. That thought lifts me up and calms me. It gives me hope.

Damn! I need to stop this! Shaking my head, I try my best to clear my depressing thoughts, cringing at the pain that shoots through my skull. I steady myself and take a few deep breaths. I have to get through this! I have to fight! And thinking of my husband and kids is just exactly the inspiration I need right now.

Gently lifting my head one more time, I curiously scan the room again. I see boxes and some type of machines, old beds and screens – hospital equipment and moving boxes were everywhere, piled to the ceiling and a few feet deep from the walls.

I know I'm not at the hospital though. It's way too stale and damp. So where the hell am I? How did I get here? And who in God's name would do something like this!

My thoughts fly quickly, while confusion, depression and fear rush through each and every vein in my body. Panic is setting in. My chest heaves, my heart pounds and my head spins. I can hear the wheezing in my lungs. And I whimper, weakly trying to hold back my sobs and control my tearing eyes.

Damn it, Edward! I can't give in. As the dampness, stickiness, and pain try to take me over, I silently give myself a pep talk.

W.W.J.D.?... What. Would. Jasper. Do?

You can do this. You have to do this. Your husband and children need you to do this. So push your fears to the back of your mind, get the hell over yourself, and think, man. Think! Try to remember how you got here, and then maybe you can find your way out and home….. To your family.

So I press myself to recall what happened. I slow my breathing and steady my nerves. I remember being so happy that my God damn night was over and I was able to grab a quick shower - trying to rid my body of the stench that shit mac-muffins-breath had left on me - and then being able to walk out that door on my way home to my loving man.

I couldn't have been more elated - and totally exhausted - ready to jump into bed and cuddle up to the strong hard body of my love.

I had made it to my car. It had been freezing, as usual, and the thought had made me chuckle. 'Jasper's poor toes!'

I opened the driver's door and started the engine, turning on the heat. Then I stood and made my way to the back door, and opened it, getting ready to throw my messenger bag on the seat.

Then I heard it. Someone was calling my name, asking me to wait up. Slinging my bag in the back and closing the door, I turned to see who needed me so badly – prepared to tell whoever it was that no way in hell was I going back in there. I was done, and I had a warm husband to get to. STAT!

And suddenly nothing. Just blackness.

So here I am - wherever here might be... God damn it!

I roll to my side with a heavy groan and a grunt, pulling my knees to my chest and trying to stretch my joints. Feeling their objection to my manipulations, I bite down hard on my bottom lip, once again licking them, tasting fresh tears mixed with stale blood.

I freeze. There's a noise… My eyes scan the room quickly as my ears strain to hear where the sound is coming from. Is it coming in my direction? I hear a doorknob jiggling, and rubbing sounds, like the door is hard to open. Someone is having a problem getting it to give.

My heart quickens. Maybe it's Jasper! Maybe he's found me! Suddenly my heart's racing with joy and hope. I feel my lips curl into a wide smile. Then suddenly I frown with a small whimper as my heart skips a beat before dying in my chest.

My God! The room fills with more cold air, making me shiver. And once again, a heavy, stale smell invades my nostrils, making them burn more harshly. A figure appears out of the shadows, twisting and bending their way into the cramped space, straightening as they find themselves in front of me.

And fuck me; my breath hitches as my heart skips a beat once more. Closing my eyes slowly, I pray that my end comes quickly; as spending one minute with this person will be my undoing, if not my death.

Gradually opening my eyes, I stare into the lifeless, uncaring, unconcerned face of fucking Doctor Alec Volturi. Swallowing hard, I start to pray.

Crying silently, not able to hold back my disappointment, my head screams, I want Jassssssssssssper! As I push my knees tighter to my cold, hard chest.

He kneels before me, and my body shivers as he places a hand on my head, trying, but desperately failing, to soothe me.

I jolt back, doing my best to get out of his reach, but he grabs my hair, pulling me towards him as he lowers his face to mine. I gag in response, making him look angrily at me. He tugs harder on my hair, and I hiss. This hair pulling is not helping the pounding in my head.

Moving closer still, he brings his chest to my knees, pressing tighter to me as I pull back. He unclenches his fist in my hair, but doesn't let go. Instead, he runs his fingers through my now sticky, sweaty strands as he glares into my eyes.

I whimper weakly, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. Then his hot, vile breath pours over my face, and I resist the urge to gag again.

As he shushes me, his fingers in my hair become more urgent and determined. He's pulling a little harder as his shushes become more panicked, rather than tender.

"Edward, look at me." His voice is deep and rough.

I can't. I squeeze my eyes tighter.

"Look at me." Pulling on my hair, he brings my face up to meet his and still my eyes are closed tightly. My breathing grows more labored as my heart hammers in my chest. "GOD DAMN IT, EDWARD! LOOK. AT. ME."

His yelling hurts my ears, and I pull my fists up to hide my face. But a fraction of a second later, his other hand comes up and smacks them away, causing me to twist slightly before he yanks me back into position by my hair, making my head hit the thin mattress and bounce off the floor underneath.

The room is spinning. I bring my bound hands to my head, expecting to find what I already knew was there.

As I bring my hands back down to inspect them, my suspicions are confirmed: I'm bleeding.

I raise my eyes to him, and he's still glaring at me, but apparently trying his best to make it look tender. Tilting his head to the side slightly, he gives me a small, fake smile.

"Edward, Ed, Eddy…" I cringe. "Sweet pea, why would you want to make me mad? Really, baby, I don't think you're in any position to make me mad now. Do you?" He chuckles to himself.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I gaze up at him. He's bending over, pulling me by my shirt, making me sit in front of him.

He kneels, and then rolls back on his heels, placing his hands on my thighs. He starts to rub them roughly.

I take a deep breath through my mouth, trying my best not to gag. Then I look into his dark, evil eyes.

Exhaling through my nose, I begin to speak, but I can't seem to make it sound harsh or dominating. It's more like a whisper with a slight whimper, and I want to kick myself right now for being unable to get myself under control. "Alec, what are you doing?" I wipe my nose on my hands, and then continue, "Why are you doing this?"

He's breathing heavily, and his eyes flutter closed, only to reopen slowly. His tongue jots out to swipe his bottom lip, then seductively, his eyes lower to my lips, and I swallow hard.

He leans in, and I jerk back, confused. Then his lips part, and I realize what he's about to try and do. The fucker's trying to kiss me!

I quickly pull back, banging my head forcefully, yet again, on the stone wall behind me, making me cry out.

His eye's flash open as he grabs my bound hands, pulling them forward, towards him, wrapping his arms around my body. As his hands rub vigorously up and down my spine, he places wet kisses on my forehead, shushing me once more. He whispers huskily in my ear, "Everything will be all right, Eddy."

Shoving him away, I yell, "ALEC, STOP! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

His breath hitches, and he stares at me with a snarl on his face. Wrapping his hand around my throat, he brings me towards him. With his lips on my ear, he whispers," Eddy, you don't get to tell me to stop. You don't get a choice, sweet pea."

As I try to swallow, unable to do so with his hand wrapped tightly around my throat, silent tears roll down my cheek.

He stands, slowly retrieving a duffel bag from the side of the bed. Reaching in, he finds a bottle of water. He removes the cap then puts his hand under my chin, lifting it. He squeezes my cheeks together roughly and painfully so my lips part, then he starts to pour water into my mouth. Too fast! I can't swallow quickly enough. I'm gagging and wheezing, and still he pours. I try and stop the flow with my tongue, making it cascade over my lips and down my chin, where the cold liquid soaks into my shirt.

I start to kick frantically. I'm pulling and pushing, squirming and ducking – anything to break his hold on me. I turn my head from side to side, trying to stop him from emptying the whole bottle into my mouth and nose. I'm gagging and choking, and still he continues. Then with one rough whoosh, he releases me, pushing me back; and once again I'm lying flat on my back gasping for air.

Straightening himself and eying me suspiciously, he bends to empty the bag, retrieving a few more bottles of water, a towel, lube... What the fuck! I panic. My breath is caught in my throat. My heart skips, while my body shudders. Lube? Why lube? Why would he need lube? Hell fucking no! Never. Not today, not ever.

As my mind races, my heart's pounding and my body tremble's. I'm pulled up short, cause the last thing I see being pulled from the bag is my phone. My fucking cell phone! Now with all thoughts of lube leaving me, I concentrate on the phone – how to get it, how to get to use it, how to distract him long enough to steal it back.

While I'm wracking my brain, I notice, from the corner of my eye, that Alec is removing his jacket; and once again I swallow hard, rolling myself into a ball as tightly as I possibly can. I'm trembling and whimpering, praying to all that is holy that I make it though this. But I don't think I will. I don't think I can. I don't think I have the strength to survive.

The thought of him touching me… The thought of his hands, lips, or whatever the fuck else he has in mind coming near me, makes me sick to my stomach. I taste bile again. I feel my throat contract, and the sweat runs down the side of my face as my eyes start to tear.

I have to fucking stop this! And I have to stop this now!

I will never make it though this. I will never be able to survive this. I will never be able to face my Jasper again.

I'm crying uncontrollably.

How the fucks do I face Jasper?

How will I ever be able to look at him?

My chest heaves as my throat burns.

How will he look at me? Knowing…

Will he still love me? Knowing…

Will he still want me? Knowing…

Will WE be able to get over this? Knowing…

I can see the hurt in his eyes and the pain on his face. Knowing that I'm no-longer his alone that someone else has taken me… Knowing that when he touches me, he wasn't the only one…

It will kill him.

It will rip him apart.

And in the end it will finally destroy him totally.

The thought makes me cry harder. Grabbing at my hair and tugging on my roots, I wanting to feel the pain. I have to distract myself from what's about to happen. I'm shaking, trembling, shivering. I feel faint, sick, disgusted. I can't do this. I want to die.

And softy I whimper as tears silently roll down my cheeks, "A..Al..Ale..Alec, please."

He kneels before me, wiping my hair back from my face, and I try so hard not to pull away, but I can't. He senses my discomfort, he feels the tension.

And he smiles cruelly to himself.

"Eddy baby, there's no need to beg. I'll take care of you. I'll make you happy. You don't need to worry about that, Eddy dear. Don't you fret, my love? Everything will turn out just fine."

With his hand still in my hair, I watch fearfully as he slowly unbuttons his shirt with the other, painfully taking his time, smiling madly at me and shushing my cries from time to time… wiping away the loose tears from my cheeks that he alone has afflicted upon me.

I'm dying inside. My body stops its squirming. My fight is gone. My mind is blank. And my heart has stilled.

I finally come to the conclusion that my body, soul, mind, and heart are grieving the loss of my life, the loss of my love, and the loss of my future.

I sense Alec standing up. He removes his shirt, sliding it down his shoulders and arms, and letting it fall to the dirty floor. And all I can do is stare and cry in disbelief. This is it. It's over. Life as I know it will never be the same.

Looking up at him, I tremble despairingly, anxiously, uncontrollably. But he doesn't notice or care. His eyes hood heavily and his breath becomes labored as he reaches for his belt buckle, starting to release it from the confines of the loop - and all I can do is watch. I watch from afar, like an out of body experience. It's not me. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I wipe my face again as my lashes stick to my lids, unable to absorb the amount of offending liquid that gushes from my eyes.

"Please," I sob.

"Alec, please don't do this," I plead.

He pulls his belt from its loops while undoing his pants button, and then stops. He casually places his hands on his hips and takes a deep breath. "Eddy baby, don't be sad. Be happy. You should be overjoyed! We will finally be together, and I'll be able to show you how much I love you! How much I worship you! How much I've longed to make you mine!"

"I don't want this, Alec. I need to go home! You need to release me now!" I grasp a couple quick breaths. "You don't think you'll get away with this, do you? You know Jasp..."

And suddenly my words are cut short, as I feel the burn and sting on my cheek, and my face hits the mattress with a thud.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE EDDY! DON'T YOU EVER MENTION HIS NAME AGAIN! AND IF HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, WHERE THE HELL IS HE? WHY ISN'T HE HERE? TELL ME WHY THE HELL HASN'T HE COME LOOKING FOR YOU IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING SPECIAL TO HIM?"

He's panting and pacing, shaking his fists in the air. Then pulling on his hair, he chants something quietly to himself.

"Alec, STOP! You can't... You have to let me go... Jasp..." And unexpectedly, my body lifts from the mattress as a heavy kick connects with my ribs. I hit the floor with a thud. Then another kick, another kick, and another, until every part of my body is screaming in pain. I'm rolling in the dirt, clutching my sides with my elbows. I try to use my hand to protect my chest, my legs. But finally I pull them to my head and face as he continues to kick and scream at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK, EDDY? WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING ME ON THIS! YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME. YOU KNOW I'M BETTER FOR YOU THAN HE IS. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU THE WAY I CAN. HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU! HE'S A FUCKING BAR OWNER! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM! I CAN GIVE YOU SO MUCH MORE...

He turns away for a moment to catch his breath, then starts again: AND THEN A BABY! A FUCKING BABY, EDDY? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER. YOU COULD HAVE SO MUCH MORE. YOU CAN HAVE ME, RIGHT NOW, NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

He's panting. His chest is heaving as he places his hands on his knees. His face is flushed as his hair hangs in his face covered in tears and sweat. Then without warning, he pounces towards me.

He starts grabbing at me. He's pulling on me. His nails sink into my skin, his fingers pulling on my hair. I feel his teeth on my shoulders and neck, biting and sucking. He's crazily tugging on my clothes. I hear ripping and tearing.

Although every bone burns, every joint hurts, and every cell screams, I start frantically kicking and punching, bringing my bound hands down on his head and shoulders, wanting to connect, wanting to cause pain.

He's laying his weight on top of me. He's pushing down onto me. I feel his erection through my pants, and I gag loudly. He's grinding mercilessly and panting heavily, and all I want to do is kick his fucking ass!

His fingers slip under my waistband as I struggle against him, my legs kicking like crazy. I push on his chest as he tries his best to kiss my lips, his tongue lapping at my cheeks, eyes, and down my neck and chin.

His foul breath makes me sick to my stomach. The dampness from his tongue sinking into my pores makes his stench linger on my skin, and the urge to puke is overwhelming. But I shake it off suddenly when I feel his cold hand creep down my back between my boxers and skin, feeling his dirty ass nails sink into my flesh, trying to cup my butt cheeks.

He has my scrubs pushed down over my thighs and my shirt pulled up over my stomach, tucked under my armpits. As he reaches between us, trying to pull down his zipper, squirming around with the intentions of releasing himself from the confines of his pants, I lose it. My heart pounds loudly as my head spins. I can't catch a breath - his weight is too heavy as he becomes more determined with every thrust. I'm starting to weaken as his fury makes him stronger.

He's grinding harder. His breathing is becoming labored as he reaches for my boxers, yanking on the waistband, trying his best to pull them over my hips.

I bring my bound hands between us, grasping at my clothes, pulling them to me anxiously. I nervously plead with him to stop - begging for him to end this and release me.

He won't listen. He doesn't hear me. He just keeps grinding and pushing panting and pulling. And as his body squirmed then tensed, I froze, knowing what the hell was happening. The fucker was ejaculating. And he did. All over my body and clothes.

So I did the only thing I could. I puked. All over both of us.

Pushing my hands into his face, I start screaming uncontrollably, trying desperately to bring my knee to his groin. Once I connected, he rolled off me, his bare back hitting the dirt floor, and he lay there panting and spent... Fucker!

Rolling onto my other side, facing the wall, I start to cry. My body trembles and convulses. My hands start shaking as I bring them to my face, wiping away my tears and sweat. Chills overtake me, causing my body to shiver, and I just lay there, sobbing deeply, like a fucking two-year-old.

I hear him rise to his feet, sucking air through his nose in disgust. I sense him reaching for the towel to wipe himself off. Then picking his shirt of the floor, he shakes it free of dirt and dust. He's mumbling something under his breath, but I can't make it out; and I really don't fucking care right now.

And then he whispers "Eddy, I..."

"Don't fucking say anything, Alec. Don't fucking talk to me. You know what you're doing is wrong. Its way beyond wrong. Now leave me the fuck alone. I can't stand your sorry ass."

He kneels at my back, reaching out to touch me. The moment I feel his finger tips, I flinch from his touch as he pulls back, gasping in surprise.

"I don't want to hurt you, Eddy. I just want to be with you and you alone. I don't mean to cause you pain."

Twisting my head to look over my shoulder, I glare at him in disgust, feeling the anger grow in my chest. I start to yell:

"WELL TOO FUCKING LATE, ALEC! BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'VE HURT ME! YOU'VE CAUSED ME PAIN! AND IF IT KILLS ME, YOU WILL NEVER BE MINE ALONE. BECAUSE I WILL NEVER BE YOURS! I AM JASPER'S! AND ONLY HIS!"

And once again, in one quick move, like lightning He's on his feet. I turn to face the wall, rolling into a tight ball, bracing myself for what I know is coming.

His first kick connects with the bottom of my spine. His first punch strikes the side of my face.

At first I cried out, letting loose a sharp, ripping scream. But after a few moments, a terrible pain shot through my head. I see a searing white light, and then everything goes black. The pain is gone, and I feel my whole body go limp. I embrace the nothingness.

I wake drowsily, and slowly bring my hands up to my face, feeling my swollen lips and eyes. I whimper sickly. I breathe slowly, trying to calm my nerves. And suddenly I tense. He's still here! I feel him behind me. I hear him breathe, and my stomach turns once more.

He kneels beside me, holding the water bottle to my lips. I eye him warily, as his eyes close slowly. Then he holds the bottle closer to my mouth again, this time letting me sip.

After a few moments, I turn my back to him again, and with a deep sigh, I close my eyes and pray for death to take me.

Then he speaks plaintively, "I promise it will get better, Eddy. I promise you will learn to love me, sweet pea."

Without even turning, I start to speak harshly. "Alec, you can do what you want with me. You can take what you want from me. But as long as I live, I will never love you. I will never be yours. My heart, soul, and body belong to one person and one person only."

I hear him stand. He grabs his jacket, and I assume puts it on. As he turns to leave, he puts his hand on my thigh, and I tense and shiver.

"Eddy, we will make this work. You will learn how to love me, no matter how long it takes. Soon we will be out of here. This sorry ass town will be nothing but a memory. We will have a new start – a new life – and we will be happy; the happiest you've ever been."

With that, he left. I heard the faint pulling and sticking of the door that I had heard earlier, not knowing if it was today, yesterday, or a few days ago, having lost all sense of time.

Lying on my side again, I stare at the wall, trying as best I can to pull my clothes back together. My ribs hurt, my chest hurts, and my God damn head is pounding. Figuring I've done my best, I lay my head back down, hoping to soothe my aching heart as silent tears roll down my face.

I hear him fussing around, moving shit, talking to himself - and right now, I couldn't care less. He can do what he wants. He can say what he wants. Nothing is ever going to change. He is never going to have me or own me if I have anything to do with it.

And as I'm lying there, falling deeper and deeper into despair and depression, every breath I take fucking hurts. There is a constant wheeze with every respiration. I know I have a few broken ribs, if not other bones, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had a concussion. If my stomach is any indication, with its cramping and growling, I feel the need for food and nourishment is going to be a problem soon.

So letting out one last sad sigh, I slowly close my eyes and relax my nerves. As I drift into unconsciousness and unawareness, my heart and brain decide to team up and torment my subconscious. Lightly playing in the background, I hear my song – well, not my song - our song – Jasper's and mine. The beautiful tones of Norah Jones fill my ears, reminding me of our wedding, and all the beautiful lovemaking nights that followed.

And as a lonely tear slides down the side of my face, and I shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back even more from falling. My peace is shattered with the fucking door being pulled off its God damn hinges, and knowing it's him, I tense. I don't move. I refuse to acknowledge his existence.

Then my breath hitches and my heart palpitates. Like music to my ears, I hear the most beautiful softly whispered sound that God has ever let enter my life. It's tired and pained, but full of love and hope, and my eyes flutter closed to enable me to drown in it.

"Edward, sweetness, its Jasper."

I sigh, and surrender to unconsciousness once more.


	15. Insane and Lost but Hopeful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a thank you to Musicmovesmypen, author of Tell me what you want if you haven't checked it out go now you will not be disappointed. She took the time to listen to me whine..So thanks Athena.
> 
> And if you haven't read the new story Roads by Prassacut please do, its amazing...Also on my Fav's.
> 
> Last but not least I would love to thank Conversed for the wonderful amazing review mention and shout out for Tuesdays best in this weeks Trislash Unveiled I felt very honored. the link is on my profile go check it out.
> 
> so lets go find out what Mister and Mister Hale-Cullen has been up too:

I find myself running towards the sweet, sweet music of Norah Jones. Taking off like a bat out of hell, I leave Emmett in my dust. I know, feel, sense my boy is in this God damn hell hole somewhere, and even if it kills me, I'm going to bring him home.

Reaching the deepest darkest section of the basement, I'm met with a large, and may I say, very fucking large, wooden utility door. I cuss to myself. "God damn it!" I twist the handle, finding it won't give way under my grip.

Then I remember back, flashing to Emmett and me in the kitchen. The noises, the pulling the sticking… This fucking door is a problem, so grabbing it a lot harder and putting my shoulder into it, I'm ramming it forcefully, then finally throw my whole body weight forward, swallowing loudly as the fucker finally gives.

My face twists as my eyes water, and I gag deep in my throat. I'm hit with the world's worst, foulest stale smell ever.

Fuck!

Pulling up my t-shirt, I frantically wipe away the offensive odor and taste from my eyes and mouth. Taking another deep breath, I continue forward.

The room is dimly lit. I have to squint to make my way though this shit, trying to make out - What the fuck! What am I up against? There are boxes everywhere, God damn it. From floor to ceiling, broken machines and hospital beds scattered around, awkwardly piled up on each-other.

Pushing myself forward, I make myself climb and crawl, duck and weave, through the monstrous equipment, finally finding myself in a small opening in which I can now stand upright.

Once again, my hand comes to my mouth, determined to hold back the bile in my throat as I'm hit, but this time hit harder, with the God awful stench combination of stale sweat, urine, and puke.

My eyes are finally adjusting - the sting and water having blurred and diluted my vision - and slowly my view starts coming into focus and small details start to show themselves gradually.

Squinting my eyes, I scan the area nervously, but other than the boxes and machines, I can't see shit. Damn it.

Then I'm frozen in my tracks, and my blood runs cold.

Cause I spot it, and my breathing stops.

I stare at it, and my heart gives up.

I glare at it, and I'm fucking ready to kill dead things, and the horses they rode in on.

My nostrils flare in rage as my ears start to hum. The room starts to spin, expanding and contracting with every shallow breath I try desperately to take while my fists tighten, white knuckling it, at my sides.

And as my eyes flutter closed and I take one last deep, shaky breath. A lonely, sad tear escapes and trickles slowly down my cheek.

The lu...The lube... The fucking lube... lying there in the dirt, all nasty and gross - attacking and taunting me, like a neon Vegas sign, burning my retinas, wanting nothing more than to bleach my brain.

Clawing at my heart, my soul, my being, and feelings - every inch of me was torn, every memory ripped apart.

Bending over, I place my hands on my knees, I close my eyes and inhale through my nose. Shaking my head from side to side trying desperately to make my mind catch up before my heart takes over and destroys me completely, making me break under the God damn pressure of this God forsaken day.

I feel more tears threatening to fall, trying their best to take me over and consume me. But I fight them back and fend them off. I don't and won't let them control this situation.

I need to be strong. I need to be calm. I need to suck this all the hell up. Cause this is not about me.

This is about my husband, my love, my friend, and my God damn boy.

So with one more deep shaky breath, I will myself to stand and face the inevitable.

I proceed, needing to finish my investigation. Opening my eyes slowly, I look closer to the floor, and suddenly my heart stops with a large thud to my rib cage, and I can't fucking breathe. All the air slowly and painfully leaves my lungs and the room in unison.

There on the dirty floor of this dark, dismal, stale, puke-smelling cell, all crumbled and distressed is my beautiful boy.

But he's broken - he's torn - he's dirty - and bleeding. And as soon as I catch my breath, I move slowly and cautiously in his direction.

He's not moving. Not one look over his shoulder. No words leave his lips.

And if I'm being truthful with myself, I'd say this moment basically scared the living shit out of me.

The thought of being too late crossed my mind and stilled my beating heart. I didn't want to spook him, I didn't want him any more anxious or confused. So moving quietly but quickly, I knelt in the dirt behind him, placing my shaky, trembling fingertips on the dirty, wet fabric of his shirt.

Then after reciting one small prayer, I find my faulty voice and whisper painfully but softly.

"Edward... sweetness... it's Jasper." And my heart begins to race as I see his body inhale and exhale before it slowly and oh so quietly goes limp. And in one quick as lightening move, I swoop him into my arms and turn.

As the cold air catches my hair in my haste to retreat, I'm knocked back a few inches, stumbling on my heels as I look upon the painfully sad face of Emmett. His eyes are wide and unfocused - they blink rapidly, darting back and forth between myself and Edward.

Then he glances to the dirt and spots the offensive dirty assed bottle of lube, and his lips tighten and his brow frowns, as his overflowing eyes tell me everything. His heart is broken and he's gradually starting to fall apart.

We're frozen in time, studying each other confusedly, with nothing but determination in our eyes.

Then suddenly, my survival instinct kicks in, and my aching heart takes a few seconds to restart. Eying him wearily, I pull him into the present, considering the severity of the situation.

"Emmett. Hospital now!" And in an instant, he's back on his heels and running.

As we make our way back into the dark, dismal basement, I take a second to glance down at Alec's lame, limp body laying in the dirt and I snarl, remembering the lu...lube... the fucking lube. Then shaking my head roughly, I set myself to accomplish my task at hand. To get Edward home, to make him safe.

Then in a flash, before I know what's happening or have time to stop him, Emmett's straddling Alec's hips, cussing and pounding relentlessly, having no mercy and taking no prisoners.

I watch in shock and awe as Alec's head bounces off the dirt floor, his body swinging and swaying with the force of each one of Emmett's giant fists, and God forgive me if I've ever wronged anyone, but the sight of Emmett pulverizing Alec did nothing but bring me joy and offer me hope, and I found myself smiling slightly.

I'm going to hell, I tell ya. Going to hell.

Unable to ever stop Emmett from having his fun, I remark to myself gleefully, Well... Boys, will be boys!

I'm caught up in the destruction of the moment. Hell couldn't be all that bad, right? Then a low groan from Edward reminds me of my goal. So unwillingly and reluctantly, I yell urgently in Emmett's direction to get his attention.

"EMMETT, LET'S GO, BUDDY! NOW!" And in one fell swoop, he's by my side, leading us both up and out of the basement into his waiting Jeep.

Climbing into the Jeep awkwardly, unable and unwilling to release Edward from my grasp, Emmett senses my distress and helps me up, then patiently straps us both into the front seat. Placing a concerned hand on my shoulder, he squeezes gently, all the while eying me sadly. With a deep sigh, he bends and kisses Edward's forehead, one of his stray tears falling onto my red headed boys dirty, sticky, but as always fucked up hair, and I find myself gulping back my emotions.

As I pull Edward tight to my chest, I try desperately to focus on him, and him alone - his feel, his scent, his warmth - content in myself to just be happy surrounded by his heat and limbs once more. I try my best to distract myself from the stale smell of the puke and urine, urging and willing myself to stay seated and not return to that hell hole of a dungeon and continue to kick the living shit out of Volturi, needing, wanting, and craving, deep in my soul to see the bastard suffer even more.

As we drive, I sigh to myself, letting the urgency and confusion of the day finally leave my body. I give myself a second to recoup and re-energize. Riding to the hospital in a slight daze under a cloud of haze, I hear Emmett talking, assuming he's on the phone, but I can't make out what he's saying or who he's talking to. And right now, I don't really give a fuck.

Pulling up front of the hospital, but not remembering how we got here, I hesitate, taking a deep breath as I spot the crowd, unable to make anyone out. Fuck! I cringe, not wanting any more fuss than necessary - the last twenty-four hours being enough of a nightmare for me and my family than I could ever imagine. I just don't want to deal with any more drama.

I want nothing more than to get my boy cleaned up, checked out, and get him the hell home, where I can start the healing process, start taking care of him, cooking for him,answering his every question, and doing my best to soothe him back to health. But by the looks of this, we aren't going to get that peace and quiet anytime soon.

But as we get closer, and the crowd comes into focus better, all I can see are nurses and doctors, Rose and Angela - and an awaiting stretcher.

My heart breaks one more time, not able to hold back my emotions, worries, concerns, and pain any longer.

These people are here for us.

These people are here to take care of My Edward.

These people are friends and family, and they want nothing more than to help, and surround us both with their love, concern and affection.

And with that understanding I'm able to relinquish my sense of control, hoping and praying, but also knowing that they will take care of him, give him what he wants and needs, treat him with respect and understanding like he was one of their own, a brother or son, and in the end, bring him back to health, back to life- bring him back to me in one piece.

Exiting the Jeep, Emmett's right at my side, opening the door and helping me out. Gently, softy and with amazing strength, he's lifting us both as I still have Edward wrapped desperately in my arms, having no intentions of letting him go right now. Then he gently lowers us down until my feet hit the ground.

All the while, he's informing Edward, not even knowing if Edward could hear him, but in the softest voice ever to leave Emmett's lips.

That he's going to be OK.

That he's going to be taken care of.

That he's among family and friends.

And that if nothing else and above all: He is safe.

Bringing his big old hand up to gently wipe damp hair from Edward's forehead, he places one small tender kiss upon it.

He looks at me one last time, our glassy eyes showing each other nothing but our sense of relief now that our shared nightmare has come to an end.

But when I look deeper and more carefully, I make out so much more: They tell me all.

They're full of so much love and compassion, my heart nearly melts, and I find it hard to swallow back the lump forming in my throat, so unwillingly, I let the tears flow freely.

And when I see the emotion being reflected back, all I can do at that moment is give him a small smile. Still keeping eye contact, he returns it to me sadly, but then with a little sparkle, it's accompanied by his signature wink.

Then with the swiftest of ease and grace, he wraps his arms around us both and hugs us tightly as he tenderly whispers, "I love you, bro. I love you both!" And suddenly he takes control as the frenzy begins and he ushers us to the awaiting hospital staff and stretcher.

They take Edward from me, and all at once my arms feel bare and empty. My wrists and fingers hurt from the strain of holding him so tight.

But I watch intently as they place him gently on the stretcher, frantic and fussing as they do their jobs, checking his heart, his pulse, his temperature, as they all take off running, causing the huge doors to swoosh open.

Voices are loud and demanding, shouting instructions and orders, and in this environment, I am lost and I am useless, so I step aside and let them take the control they need. I place my world, my heart, my trust, in their hands.

And as if by magic, I feel the warmth of soft arms wrap around my middle on either side, as heavy heads hit my chest and back. Looking down and around, I see Rose and Angela, both holding tight, soaking my shirt with their tears.

Pulling them closer, soaking up their warmth and life, I sigh deeply, reluctantly allowing myself to relax a little, wanting and needing to feel something other than dread, wanting and needing to be grounded once more. I know I have a lot further to go, and a hell of a lot more to accomplish, cause there's no God damn way this is over. It's far from finished. Alec Volturi will pay dearly for what he has done.

But as I look down, I smile shyly at the two beautiful glassy-eyed women staring back up at me. I glance over as Emmett stands to the side, looking on smugly, rolling on his toes, hands clasped behind his back. Looking over, I give him a grin with a wink, and with that, suddenly, like he was only waiting for permission, he rushes us, and we all four nearly hit the sidewalk.

Thank shit I had seen him coming and braced myself for the big, God damn gorilla that he is. But fuck, ya gotta love the guy. He's a God, I tell ya, a God. And I'd like someone to try and argue that fact with me right now.

We're all swinging and swaying, hemming and hawing, releasing pent up energy and confusion, and if I heard one 'Thank God,' I heard a thousand, and I found myself shushing them - easing them - trying my best to relay to them that everything will be fine, and we will get through this.

Questions were coming from all directions, and I was trying to answer them as truthfully and as honestly as I possibly could, not wanting to give too much away right now. Not wanting to let them beat down Emmett and me, we didn't let Volturi out of the bag just yet.

Cause I knew our time with him wasn't over yet by a long stretch. I know that I – more likely Emmett and I - will be paying the good old doctor another visit before this night was over.

Then desperately needing to change the subject and divert the attention, as I cannot give up my secrets if pushed, or capitulate to my guilt if they kept questioning. I ushered the ladies into the swooshing doors of the hospital, following after the now rushing doctors and nurses as they pull my Edward's stretcher and all into an awaiting examining room.

And suddenly all hell breaks loose, machines are being switched on, wires and straps are being passed between doctors' and nurses' hurried hands, collaborating and cooperating. As though with blurred vision, I watch nervously and intently - doctors barking orders, nurses submitting willingly, all in the name of healing, and helping, trying their best to get the results they needed as fast as possible.

I watch my boy, so still and lifeless, beyond pale and broken, as they toss and turn, pull and prod him. His hair is damp and sticky, clumping thickly to his head. His eyes are shut smoothly, like he's only sleeping. But for the purples and blues that dust his swollen eyes, you'd swear he was.

His gorgeous cheekbones and nose are so busted and torn. His beautiful lips are all dry, chapped and blistered. I glance at his throat - my favorite place to scatter kisses and licks as he squirms beneath me - but at this moment, it's red, blue, yellow and green, as a faint hand print of that fucker wraps around it like a dirty tattoo, making the blood boil in my chest and my fist tighten by my side.

His clothes are wet, dusty and dirty, torn and ripped, as I watch in awe and alarm as the nurse cuts them from his limp form. She's so tender and caring, moving quickly, but carefully trying her best not to cause Edward any more discomfort than necessary. With every piece she removes, she folds it, placing it in a plastic bag. I eye her warily, and she senses my concern. She approaches me and whispers softly, "Don't worry, Jasper, we have it all under control. We'll take good care of your husband!"

Resting a hand on my arm and giving it a tender squeeze, she's back on her heels, returning to attend to Edward.

Then I'm back to suspiciously watching everyone, eying them warily, wanting nothing more than for this to be done with, so I can have my boy to myself. Yes, I'm a fucking selfish bastard. And no, I don't give a shit right now.

I watch another nurse as she's leaning over, doing something with Edward's hands. She's scraping something under his finger nails, gently and attentively placing whatever she gathered in a little plastic bag. I eye her distrustfully, but as her eyes dart to me and back to Edward, she gives me a small smile, and then continues with what she's started.

Next thing I know, when I look up, not knowing how long I had been caught up in my headspace, Edward's lying there in nothing but his boxers, and I can't help the gasp that leaves my lungs as my heart pounds rapidly in my chest, desperately determined to escape by way of my throat.

He's so black and blue, all bruised and tattered. There isn't a part of him untouched, unmarked. I see suck marks and bites, scrapes and cuts, hand and fist prints, and foot and shoe marks.

Then from nowhere, a strangled scream fills the room, making my ears hum and ring, until suddenly I realize it was coming from me, and vibrating back via the hospital walls. And as I stare distrustingly into all their horror-struck faces, everyone is looking back at me, confused and worried, probably contemplating whether or not to call the guys in the white coats to come cart my sorry ass away.

And still there's nothing I can do but stare in fear and disgust. A large lump is trying to release itself from my throat, but it's unable to do so. Or maybe I'm just choking on my own fucking tongue right now. I don't know, but it's a fucking possibility, cause I'm looking and acting like a God damn mad man.

My jaw clenches tight as I start hissing through my nostrils. My eyes are squinted and my brow is furrowed. And I God damn know I'm scaring the shit out of everyone, but I really don't give a shit, cause I'm not done staring yet.

Then everyone seems to sense my distress, and looks in the direction of my stare, as all eyes land on the poor little nurse who has suddenly frozen in place, her eyes darting frantically from me to the confused faces of her colleagues. She looks anxiously and nervously between us, her face turning every shade of pale imaginable, as she looks at me totally confused. I notice when it dawns on her, and she finally follows my stare to where her tiny hands and lean fingers are tucked under the waistband of my boy's underwear. She quickly pull's them out, straightens herself, and mouths the words, 'So sorry,' then takes a few steps back.

Then suddenly I'm being ushered from the room by the arm, and very fucking roughly, may I add! Pulling myself back and straightening my clothes, I turn to glare at the person manhandling me, wanting to know who the fuck he thought he was, and why the fuck he thought he needed to eject me from the room. I find myself face to face with Doctor Seth Clearwater. He's been a friend of ours since Edward came to work at this hospital, both of them arriving at the same time, becoming fast friends that very first day. They've been close ever since.

Seth sometimes joins us at the pub. I even introduced him to his wife, Leah, there. And sometimes they'd join us for Sunday BBQ's and ball games. So would I consider him a friend? Yes. Would I still kick his ass if he crossed me right now? Hell Yes.

He eyes me, recklessly daring me to make a fucking move so he can really have my ass kicked to the curb. But then his features soften, becoming sad as he wraps his arm around and over my shoulder, pulling me tight to his side. He's looking around at the people coming and going, viewing the hustle and bustle of the hospital. He speaks in a hushed whisper, "Jasper, buddy, do you not think you'd be better off waiting with your family in the waiting room?"

As I look down at my feet, I shake my head, telling him silently that I can't, or more so, that I won't.

"Jasper, we need to run some tests. We need to check Edward thoroughly. You understand? Right, buddy?

And once more, while still staring at the floor, I shake my head, this time more determinedly.

Walking me over to a few seats, we both sit side by side, and still his arm is wrapped around my shoulder. He takes a deep breath, and continues softly and gently, trying to make me realize and understand what he is telling me. "Jasper it was me. I was the one Emmett called when you guys were en route to the hospital."

And as I'm sitting with my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands, I turn to look up at him, raising an eyebrow, confused.

"He told me what you found, and how you found him. Jasper? He told me about the lube!"

My head falls back into my hands as they come up to pull and tug at my hair. My shoulders tense, and once more, a pain creeps up my arms, over my shoulders, and takes up residence in my chest. My breath leaves me in a strangled whimper, "God will this nightmare ever fucking end?"

Seth bends closer to me, his breath fanning the side of my face as I feel him tense and stress right along with me. "Jasper? We need to check him. We need to find out and make sure there's been no damage done. Please tell me you understand, buddy? Please tell me you're alright with this? Let us help him. Let us fix whatever's broken."

I find myself struggling to do what's best and right. I know under the circumstances, Edward should be checked out. If this had been anyone other than him, I'd probably say hell yeah and jump at the chance. But this is a unique situation. Cause this is Edward.

I question myself... Cause this is Edward.

I'm unsure... Cause this is Edward.

I doubt myself... Cause this is Edward.

I'm so very, very scared... Cause this is Edward.

I'm worried about him - about his reaction to this whole fucked up situation. These people are his friends, not only his co-workers.

Would he want this done? Unbeknownst to him?

Would he want this done? Knowing they'll know?

Shit, I'm stuck. I don't fucking know. I think I'm finally losing my mind.

"Jasper? I need you to understand. I need you to be strong right now! I need you to put yourself in his place, and trust in me."

And with that, I nod frantically. I know in my heart that we needed to know. We need to make sure that he's OK, and more importantly: healthy.

"C.. ca.. can you do it?" My tired, heavy head's unable to leave my cradling hands.

I feel his grip tighten on my shoulder as he leans in. "What do you mean, Jasper? The examination itself?"

I sit up straighter, wiping my face in my hands, then my runny eyes and nose on my jacket sleeve. I turn slowly, and once again we're face to face. As I stare into his deep, sad chocolate browns, the sweat is gathered on his brow, damping the bangs of his jet black hair. He has always looked so young to me, way too young to be a doctor. At times, I had made fun at his expense. But at this moment, he looked like a scared child, and sensing his fear, but also his concern for my husband, made my heart break and splinter into a thousand little pieces in my chest.

Trying to control my sobs, taking a few deep breaths though my nose, I nod again. This time stronger, and with a hell of a lot more determination.

We both stand and face each other. He pulls me to him and nods silently into my shoulder. Pulling back, I look into his face once more.

"So you're going to take care of him, right?"

He nods slightly, a tear escaping from under his long lashes.

"You alone, Seth? Just you."

He looks a little shocked and confused. "Jasper? I can't be alone, I need a nurse. It's protocol. I'm sorry."

And now his eyes are everywhere but on me.

Now my head is pounding again, my chest is contracting. I'm getting anxious and downright irritated. I feel my blood rumble. It tingles in my veins, pumping rapidly through me, wanting nothing more than to escape and lash out.

"It's the only way, Seth. I won't let this happen unless it's just you. I can't do that to him. I won't. You have to make an exception for this. Just this once for us. One time, Seth. That's all I'm asking, for the love and sanity of my family. You have to figure this out... You have to work around it and find a way, cause that's the only way this is going to work."

I know what I'm doing, and I'm not ashamed. If it took pleading, then I would plead. If it took begging, then I would beg. I needed to represent Edward. I need for him to walk away with - if nothing more - his dignity and respect. And I knew this would break him, destroy him, and maybe even kill him. But God damn it, I'll be there.

He stares into midair, trying to come to terms with my request, and hopefully trying to figure a way around this fucktard of a situation. His eyes dart back and forth his brow furrowed and lips tight, then he looks over and gives me a small sad smile as he nods slowly.

He nods in the direction of the room, encouraging me to follow. As we enter, all heads turn to look, still standing in the same positions they were in when we left, cause even though it felt like a lifetime, it was only a few minutes, so nothing much had changed. That I could tell. Edward was still limp and lifeless on the table.

Seth spoke calmly and softly to each of them, asking how Edward was doing, and if he was still unconscious. The little nurse to my left nodded.

He asked another if he was still stable, and Jane looked over and nodded.

He inquired about any signs of internal bleeding, and they all shook their heads in unison.

So turning to me with a smile, he looks over them all, then informs them slightly sternly, that he needed them to leave for a few minutes and give him and me some time alone with Edward.

They look confused and a little worried, but he reassures them that he will only be a few minutes, and as soon as he was done talking to me in private, they would be able to take Edward to X-ray and for a CT Scan.

They all look at each other suspiciously and skeptically, but their eyes come to some kind of understanding as they all file out of the room, closing the door behind them with a loud click.

Then everything starts moving fast. He's barking orders at me, telling me to pull a chair up to the bed and sit in front of Edward, which I intend to do happily. After pulling the chair over, he orders me to help him roll Edward gently on his side. So with me pulling his shoulder and hip in my direction, Seth pushes him from the back until Edward is laying in a sideways sleeping position.

Then he's nervously opening packages and preparing gloves. Every once in a while, he glances at me timidly, as I find myself doing the same to him. My eyes dart from him to the examination table and back again, as he places his needed utensils face up.

Then he unscrews the lube. And I freeze.

Gulping hard, my eyes close slowly. A single tear slides down my cheek.

I feel the breeze opening my eyes quickly, Seth is covering Edward with a hospital gown, lightly blanketing him in the crisp, clean, cool, fabric.

Then my eyes go wide like saucers as I gasp, as Seth lets out a little chuckle. I frown, ready to bounce in his direction.

He's holding scissors, and he smiles, shaking his head as his hands reach under the gown. I hear the snipping, then he pulls free Edward's underwear, placing them carefully in an awaiting bag. Telling me to sit, he requests that I hold Edward's hand and do nothing but make sure that he is peaceful and showing no signs of discomfort. And that's what I do as Seth sets to work.

I feel... more than hear, Seth doing his job... Edward's body shifts and sways, and then a small, audible groan leaves his lips as his eyes squint tighter.

I look sharply at Seth, and notice he's already removing his gloves, throwing them in the awaiting trash can.

My heart stops as I try and make eye contract with him. His sad, tired eyes meet mine, and he shakes his head as he inhales slowly, taking a deep, well awaited breath and a sigh of relief.

And with that, my aching heart restarts and I lean forward, placing a tender, wet kiss on Edward's forehead... He fusses, which makes me smile to myself. But I thank all that is holy that my boy is OK.

As Seth removes the evidence, I help him put Edward properly into the gown.

I want to thank him, tell him how much this means to me, but I don't know how, I cant form the words needed.  
he looks over and smiles gently and I do my very best to return it eagerly. Then as his eyes flutter closed he nods his understanding.

He lets the nurses know that they can now take Edward up for his tests, relaying to me that I should go take a breather while I have a chance. He suggests getting myself a cup of coffee, or even taking a nap, as the tests will take a while.

I leave the examining room more relieved than when I entered, going in search of our family and friends. I find them in a nearby waiting room, and as I enter, they all stand in anticipation.

Before I can speak, there's a noise, and I turn, eying the door behind me. Emmett enters, looking sheepishly in my direction, but covers it beautifully by handing me a Starbucks coffee, which I take from him eagerly, nearly bringing a few of his fingers with it. I smile at him apologetically as he winks and gives me a knowing grin.

Once we're settled and everyone's listening, I bring them all up to the moment on Edward's condition. Letting them know he has bumps, bruises, scrapes and cuts, maybe a slight concussion and a few broken ribs.

But until we get the results from the X-rays and CT Scan, we won't know the full extent of his injuries. As they blow their noses and wipe their eyes, they look around at each other contentedly. Then Rose speaks up, her voice tired and shaky.

"Jas… Jasper? Did they check? Did they check and see? Did they check and make sure he was OK? That he hadn't...That he hadn't been violated?'

I move quickly and sit in the seat next to her. Wrapping my arms around her tightly, shushing her, I wipe the hair from her face to look her straight in the eyes, wanting her to see my relief as I deliver her own.

"Everything's fine, sissy, no worries. My boy's as good as gold!" And I feel her relax into my chest with relief.

We all sit around, sipping our coffee and talking quietly amongst ourselves, taking turns on pacing the floor.

The door opens gently.

We're all surprised - a kind of 'Oh Shit' surprise! - to see the chief of police pop his head around the door frame, eying each of us nervously, as my eyes dart to Emmett then back to the officer. He enters the room tensely, hat in hand, voicing his worries and concerns for Edward, asking us to give Edward his regards, and to let him know that he's in his prayers.

Then pointing a finger at me and Emmett, he asks us politely if we could speak. With that, he stepped out into the hallway.

I look over at Emmett anxiously, and God damn it, I see nothing - no nervousness or fear - he just looks to the door, then me, giving me a huge smile and another wink. And with that, he's on his feet, following the cop.

We all three stand in the hallway, looking around, trying not to make eye contact. Cause God only knows we just might start a fucking conversation if we do. And we don't want that now... do we?

Then Chief Swan coughs, clearing his throat, and all at once, we're all looking at each other skeptically. So taking a deep breath, I decide it's time to get this as fucking over with as we possible can right now. Looking at the officer, I swallow hard, sucking air up my nose, trying desperately to ease the pressure at the back of my neck and stop my head from starting to spin.

"Thanks for coming, Chief Swan! What can we do to help?"

"Charlie, Jasper. It's Charlie. We've known each other long enough... I've known you since you were in high school. So no Chief. Charlie will do."

I nod in response. "OK. Che... Charlie. How can we help?"

"It's come to my attention that Doctor Hale-Cullen has been involved in some type of incident. And I'd like to know what you guys think of this, and what your take on it is. Do you have any information that can give me any clues on what actually happened?"

Looking between us, he eyes us wearily.

As Emmett and I look between each other, I start to get a little nervous. Oh Shit... Oh Shit! What to do? What to do? I can't think of anything. My mind's fucking blank. What to do? What to do? And as I'm busy looking like a fucking ass, Emmett speaks up. Fucker.

He bravely steps in and takes over, informing Charlie about how we came to realize that Edward was missing. And how we went in search of him, as we knew we couldn't report him missing for at least twenty-four hours.

"Boys, please. You could have contacted me. You know I would have dropped everything and got right on this for you."

Emmett continued looking at Charlie, all sad and shit. And by the look on Charlie's, face, he was sucking it all up. So I nod at Emmett, encouraging him to continue, silently telling him that the chief was eating this crap up.

He told the chief that he had had a hunch while we were out driving around aimlessly on where to find Edward. And that the hunch had paid off, cause when we got to the old doctor's house, we found him in a room in the basement, all beaten and broken, and we rushed him right here.

He looks at me apprehensively, eying us both suspiciously. Then taking a deep breath, he steps back and informs us that he has taken up way to much of our time, looking at me sadly and placing a concerned hand on my shoulder. And I wipe my eyes, then run my fingers through my hair nervously. Hoping to God I look overly upset and eager to get back to my boy - so he'll let us the hell go - he eyes me warily, then asks if he can have both our cell numbers in case anything new comes up or he has any more questions, and willingly, we give him the information needed. We want this over with. We want him away from us. And we don't want any more fucking questions right now.

As Chief Swan turns and heads towards the reception area, he looks over his shoulder at me. Oh Shit. Oh Shit. What to do? What to do?

He smiles sadly and yells, "Jasper, don't hesitate to call if you need anything. OK?" And I nod, giving him a wave. Then he turns and continues on his way.

Turning, I let out a long hard breath, glancing over at Emmett. He smiles widely then whispers, "I knew people would start to get suspicious, so while you were in with Edward, I went and moved the fucker. He's back at his own apartment, and don't worry, bro, he ain't going anywhere anytime soon. He will be right where I left him when the time comes to pay the good doctor a wee visit." And then he winks.

The guy's a God, I tell ya. A God.

Heading back into the waiting room, we spot Seth walking in our direction. He smiles, and with his eyes, he tells us to meet him in the room with the rest of the family. As we enter, he's pulling up a seat saying his Hi's and Hello's to Rose, Angela, Alice, and Riley. Then turning, he leans over to shake Emmett's hand as they share a few words about an upcoming ball game, waiting until everyone settles down before he proceeds to talk.

"Edward's stable right now. He has a lot of cuts and scrapes, a few bumps and bruises, but nothing that can't be taken care of. He has a slight concussion, but nothing serious. There are a few broken ribs, but there's no internal bleeding, so all in all, there's not to much to worry about. So for right now, he is in the clear, we just want and need to keep an eye on him, so we're keeping him overnight. They're taking him up to a room as we speak. We will make sure that he is as comfortable as possible, but I would prefer if you all wait until tomorrow to visit him if you don't mind."

He puts a hand up in my direction before I can even say anything.

"Jasper, I already know you'll be staying. I know I can't stop you or say anything that will make you go home and get some much needed sleep. So as I'm not willing to argue with you right now, I just want you to know I understand, and will make sure there is a comfortable chair for you in his room. OK?"

And I nod, answering happily but exhaustedly, "OK." He's a lucky fucker, cause I was just about to kick his ass.

Everyone leaves with hugs, kisses and best wishes, informing me that they'll be back first thing in the morning.

As I enter Edward's room, it's dimly lit, causing me to squint in his direction. And for the first time in hours, I get to look at my boy shamelessly. He's beautiful, surreal, stunning, and breathtaking. And I take a moment to watch him breathing lightly under the thin sheets.

I approach wearily, not wanting to disturb him in anyway, retrieving the overnight bag Rose had brought, giving it a quick once over. Everything he would ever need is there. Shit, the girl is thorough. God bless her little cotton socks, as Mama would say. I have to smile. Gotta love her.

As I'm pulling the chair closer to the bed, the door opens behind me, and Jane walks in. She smiles sadly up at me while handing me some blankets. "Doctor Clearwater tells us you're not leaving, so I brought you these to try and make you more comfortable."

As I thank her, she reaches up and kisses my cheek, before she's back on her heels and exiting as fast as she entered.

Pulling the chair even closer to the bed, I throw a blanket over my lap and remove my boots, leaning forward, resting my head on the bed beside Edward's hand. Placing mine on top of his, I entwine our fingers. Feeling his warmth and softness under my touch, I hear a small groan and look up at Edward. His eyes go tight and he grips my fingers tightly, then as fast as it came it goes, and once again, he's peacefully sleeping.

I find myself staring at him, wishing, hoping and longing for him to wake up, just so I can see his forest greens, just so I can hear his sweet voice. Its been nearly twenty-four hours since I've heard his velvet voice or felt his hot breath on my face, and right now, I'd give anything to hear or feel both again.

I'm not sure of the time, but I feel my hair being pulled, then my head being rubbed. It takes me a few moments to realize what's happening. As I slowly lift my head not, wanting to scare him with any quick movements, I see his forest greens look down on me, his eyes are heavy and sore. But I can still make out the green in them, and it makes me smile softly in his direction.

His lips curve at the sides slightly, and he fights to keep his eyes open. His tongue peeks out tenderly, sweeping his bottom lip. I reach for the bottled water on the dresser, and as I slip my hand under his head to cup and steady him, I bring the bottle to his sore, swollen lips. He sips slowly, with a little difficulty, as he brings his hand up to his throat, indicating that he hurts, so I take my time with him, showing him that he can take his, and to just have a little patience.

When he blinks his eyes up at me, letting me know he's finished, I remove the bottle, putting it back on the dresser, laying his head softly on the pillow again. Turning, I wet a hand towel and wipe it over his swollen lips, and when I'm done, he shakes his head a little, blinking once, then giving me a slight nod.

After I place a tender kiss on his forehead, he sighs deeply and shakily. I sit back down again, placing my hand back into his. He slowly and gently entwines his fingers with mine again, giving them a soft squeeze. He gives me another timid smile, and as I return it, his eyes flutter closed once more, as my head lies beside him on the bed.

Not knowing the time, I feel a hand in my hair again, fingers being brushed through my curls softly. I twist my head and stare up at him as his heavy, sad eyes fight to stay open. I smile and he timidly returns it.

"You OK, sweetness?" I whisper softly.

He nods gently as he shuts his eyes tight, breathing deeply through his nose.

'You sure, babe? What do you need?" I try my best to sound calm, not wanting him to fret in any way.

He nods again, his eyes fluttering open, and a single tear runs down his cheek, under his chin, ducking into the collar of his hospital gown.

And I'm on my feet by his side, shushing him for all its worth, trying my best to ease whatever anguish he's experiencing right now.

As I pulling him gently to my chest, he slowly wraps his arms around my waist and sinks his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. I bury my face into his fucked up hair, inhaling him in unison. He smells funny; its not him. It makes my stomach churn, and I try desperately to hold back my gag, not wanting to worry or concern him.

Almost inaudibly, he sighs my name, "Jasssssper?"

Pressing him a little tighter to me while rubbing the palms of my hands up and down his back, I answer in a whisper.

"Yes, sweetie, what you need?"

"A shower, baby, I.. I need to clean!" And my heart breaks! Cause I know what he's trying to say.

Laying him back gently, I stand, leaving for the bathroom, turning on the shower, checking the water temperature before returning to the room. I pull back the sheets and remove my socks before bending to pick him up. I question him one more time, making sure this is what he really wants, and if it's something he's able to do.

"You sure, baby? You sure you can do this?

He doesn't say anything; he just looks up at me all pitifully, making my heart break even more as he reaches his hands and arms up, signaling for me to come closer. And as I do, he gently wraps his arms around my neck as I place my arm gently underneath his knees, picking him up bridal style, and making my way to the steamy bathroom.

And as I enter, I don't stop. From the corner of my eye, I see Edward glance up at me, confused, and with nothing but a smirk and a wink, I enter the shower stall, placing both of us under the jet stream, letting the hot water sink into our weary bones and ease our unnerved hearts, as we melt slowly into one another.

When I'm content with the thought that we are thoroughly soaked, I lean heavily against the back wall of the shower stall and ease my body weight, letting it slide until my butt hits the floor.

Now, with Edward just sitting on my lap, I release him from my grip and reach for the shampoo, and without a thought, I proceed to wash his sticky, sweaty, puke and urine filled hair. And as he leans his head into my touch, sighing deeply, letting his eyes flutter closed and his lips part, my heart restarts to its normal beat, because right now, my boy looks content and peaceful, and I can't help myself, I move closer and place a single soft kiss on his poor, sore, swollen lips.

His eyes open slowly, and he bares his soul to me, and as he breathes deeply through his nose, he whispers tenderly, "I'm yours, Jasper. All yours!"

Pulling him tighter to me, trying not to hurt him any more than he already is, I start to sob into his neck. His arms wrap weakly around my neck, and he shushes me, trying his best to soothe my aching soul.

And with my lips to his neck, I whisper, "I know, sweetness, I know. Always."

Still keeping him seated on my lap, I place my hand on his back and twist him until his head falls back under the stream. Bringing my other hand up, I run my fingers softly through it, making sure all the nasty suds get washed down the drain. Watching them, I feel relieved, making me believe once more that we finally can have some hope and faith in our future.

Returning to the bedroom, I grab a load of towels on the way by. Then placing one on the bed before releasing Edward and sitting him on it, I remove his gown, trying to hold back my disgust and anger as I eye every ugly mark that's been left on my boy's body. He lowers his head, but I quickly put my fingers under his chin and tell him to keep eye contact with me, not to look anywhere else. And being the good boy he is, he does as he's told.

Placing his hand in my wet hair, he runs his fingers through it as he stares at my face. He starts to shake a little, so I try and move as swiftly as possible while drying him off. Retrieving fresh boxers and an old set of scrubs, I proceed to dress him, getting him comfortable once more.

Laying him back on his pillows, I gently pull his legs up and under the covers. Before removing my own wet clothes - borrowing a pair of his underwear and the extra set of scrubs - placing our wet stuff in a plastic bag and shoving it into the overnight bag. Then looking over at Edward, he's now smiling, so I lean in and kiss his face, his forehead, cheeks, nose and then lips, swiping my tongue softly over them as he lets out a gentle moan while his eyes flutter closed.

Pulling the blanket back over my lap, I sit on the chair again, trying to settle in for whatever's left of our night. I hear him groan and moan a little, so I glance over, wondering if he needs my help. As I smile sheepishly at him while I raise a questioning eye brow, he smiles back at me and pats the bed beside him, then quietly but gravely he whimpers.

"Please, Jasper... Please"

And once again I'm reminded that I can never refuse my boy.

Lowering myself to the bed, paying mind not to hurt or bother his ribs, I lie on my back, letting him make the next move as he curls himself into me. With a shaky, deep breath, he relaxes into my side, laying his head and hand on my chest, as my hand comes around and rubs his shoulder and arm.

And before we both drift off, he whispers into the night air. "We going home tomorrow, right love?"

"Yes, sweetness, we are. That's if I have anything to do with it!"

"Jassssper?"

"Yes, sweetness?"

"Love you'

And as I rub his arm one last time, I whisper, "Love you too, babe. Love you too."

And in those few final moments we are filled with hope, as we drift into slumber contently.


	16. The Second Out Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second out take of this story. Back when the boys were 16.  
> After the purchasing of the condoms and lube.
> 
> As for my amazing Beta Deβra Anne, She's such a Geekster but I gotta love her.
> 
> so lets go find out what Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen have been up too:

What the fuck? What the fuck! Clean up on aisle six people! Clean up on aisle six!

Shit. I'm so God damn out of sorts, I'm climbing the walls. I can't stop fucking pacing. It's Friday night, and I'm fucking pacing my room like a caged animal.

On the bed, off the bed, on the bed, off the bed, on the bed, twiddle my thumbs, off the bed, pace some more.

Yep, people, Friday night... Yepper, you heard me right, it's THAT Friday night - soon to be known as the infamous 'Jasper and Edward Fuck Fest. Well, it depends on how lucky I get or how persuasive I can be.

It's been a week since our shower and a few days since our purchases, so I think we're as God damn ready as we're gonna be.

But if so, then why the fuck am I in my room still? Fucking pacing? And wanting to puke! Clean up on aisle six! I tell ya.

It just might have something to do with the fact that I've been waiting for this for so long...Oh, get over it, people, I know. I know. You heard me right.

I said. LONG. And yeah-yeah-yeah, I know I'm God damn ONLY sixteen - well, closer to seventeen - but who's fucking counting? Right?

But when you've known forever that you're gay, and never had a chance to express your fucking self like all your other fourteen-, fifteen- and sixteen-year-old peers, it feels like forever. OK? So get the hell over it.

It's not that I feel the need to express myself like my peers, cause shit knows they really are fucked up. But this is different. In a strange way, it's not all lust and sex - it's more wanting and needing - and it's making me feel weird and out of sorts with myself.

And maybe it's the fact that I want this so fucking bad I could spit... Just the thought is making me crazy. And making me climb the walls and pace my room like the crazy bastard I've become. The boy has that effect on me.

Hours spent driving all the way to Port Angeles, just to rent fucking porn, has finally paid off.

'Well, a boy's gotta know what a boy's gotta know...

What's that the Boy Scouts say? 'Be prepared.' Right? Well, I try.

Its not as if I could drop by the local Blockbuster. I could just see that happening. Mrs. Cope would have a fucking heart attack If I came to the counter with a shit eating grin on my face before presenting her proudly with Boys Gone Wild...A Sucks and Fucks Vacation video.

I could see it now. All the fucking townsfolk chasing my sorry ass up the middle of main street America with their God damn pitch forks.

Or maybe it's the fact that I've finally found the person I want to do this with. And the knowing that I'm actually in love with said person.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You heard me, people. LOVE. Don't be hating.

And I told him as much. I hadn't meant to. I mean who would intend to blurt it out in the condom and lube aisle of the fucking drug store. But God damn Emmett with his big ass mouth was scaring the shit out of my boy, and I was having no part of that. I had to do something, and do it real fast to calm his fucking nerves. So me being the hopeless romantic that I am, (Bows at the waist hearing fake cheer's from the crowd! "Thank you. Thank you. I try.")  
Well any-who, I came up with that brain-fart. Real smart, right? It was the first and only thing I could do on a moment's notice. God damn Emmett and his big fucking mouth. He's such a douche bag.

So I'm assuming that's what has me pacing: LOVE. Yep, God damn love.

Who would have ever thunk it? Fuck! Not me..

Don't get me wrong. Loving Edward is the easiest thing to do. He makes it that way. To think that I, Jasper 'balls to the wall' Hale, am in love with Edward 'butter wouldn't melt in his mouth' Cullen. I'll give him something else to melt in his fucking mouth, and hopefully tonight if I have my way.'

It's very hard for me to fathom sometimes. It's surreal. I've always been a selfish bastard, so to think that I feel the need to protect, possess and pleasure Edward for the rest of our lives is very daunting and overwhelming to me.

Our lives will be a very long fucking time!

But I need this - want this - gotta have it - so when I say surreal. I mean it.

Even my skin's not my own, I feel like it doesn't belong to me anymore. It's all tight and tingly. Every fucking nerve is on edge. My toes and fingers are numb. And I don't think my heart's beaten regularly for the past forty-eight hours.

To say I'm anxious would be an understatement right about now.

Edward, on the other hand, is way to fucking excited. He's bouncing off the God damn walls right now. Fucker has been all week. He's such a loser.

But tonight he's taking the fucking cake; he has to have called my sorry ass at least a hundred times already, not to mention all the God damn texts.

Hope his God forsaken thumbs hurt and fall the hell off. It would serve him right, the little fucker that he is.

But I have to smirk as I think to myself, Eager much? Gotta love my boy.

I know my boy - he's as nervous as I am! He's as much as told me so, and when he looks at me with his awesome forest greens, they always seem to have this slight far away look in them. It scares me sometimes, but then I remember how much of a thinker my boy is, and I let it go.

But he also wants this as much as I do! Another thing he's made very clear - after he'd thought about it some more.

The boy trusts me. What can I say, as much as he loves me he trusts me. Cause I'm amazing people! Amazing!

But! Me being me - the ass that I can be sometimes, don't even say it - I said it first, ass I am. Well anyway, the ass in me means I couldn't keep the God damn porn to myself. I had to share, and who better to share it with than my boy?

So now we both know what to expect, making us both gulp loudly and swallow hard. I really fucking think I saw a tear in Edwards eyes, cause as we all know, expecting, knowing and doing are all very fucking different things, when its time to getting down to the nitty-gritty.

So yes, we're a little fucking nervous right now... And here I am... pacing.

It's time for me to leave. Shit! Grabbing my bag, I head downstairs. Mama's in the kitchen, so making a quick detour to say my byes and give her a kiss, I run face first into a brick wall, Where the fuck did that come from? I know that wasn't there this morning. What the hell? But it wasn't a fucking brick wall, it was just the big douche Emmett, and of course his sorry ass was headed for the kitchen also. Don't think the kid even knows that there are other rooms in this God damn house, cause if you needed to speak to or find Emmett McCarty, the kitchen was the place to look.

So as he's pushing me off him - cause seriously I came to one abrupt halt and froze - I'm stuck to him like peanut butter to jelly, having to peeling myself free, I look up at him angrily, cause right now the big gorilla was standing in the way of me making a quick exit. I had things to do, people to see, and a boy to fuck. So he really needed to get his big fat ass out of my God damn face right now.

And as I look at him, he's fucking smirking - eying and smirking at me. Asshole. So raising my eyebrow, I question, "What?"

"WHERE YOU GOING BRO?" Still he smirks.

Before I get to speak. Rose enters from the kitchen, answering his question. "Leave him be, Emmett. He's having a sleepover at Edwwwwward's house tonight" She smiles widely and knowingly...Bitch.

And that's all the fucker needed.

"JASPER, YOU'RE HAVING A SLEEPOVER AT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND'S HOUSE?" He then proceeds to do something that looks like it's supposed to be some kind of happy dance.

His legs are wobbling as his arms waggle, and his huge body whirls, and now he's prancing like a fucking fairy up and down the hall. All Rose and I can do is stare in disbelief. She looks at me, I stare at her, and then we both glance over at him. "Emmett, give it a fucking rest. M.C Hammer you are not" And with that, we all start laughing.

Hearing all the commotion, Mama makes her way to the hall, wiping her hands on her apron. She smiles knowingly at me before trying her best to shoo Emmett into the kitchen. "You going to your sleepover, hon?"

"Mom, it's not a sleepover. I'm not four anymore. I'm spending the weekend. That's all!" I try my best to look innocent, giving her my best Jasper Hale smile, dimples and all, hoping it works, and when she sighs softly and deep, I am content in knowing my job here is done.

As Emmett yells from the kitchen, his mouth stuffed with something.

"Yeah, Mama H., a sleepover it is not!" Oh, please God; do I really have time to kick his ass right now? Pleasssse.

Fucker!' douche! Asshole!...

So as quick as possible I pull Mama tight to me, kissing her head, hoping to all that is holy that she didn't get smart-ass's innuendo as he's leaving the kitchen. Looking over my Mama's shoulder, I give him my best fuck you look. And he gulps hard then turns to retreat back from where he came. I think to myself as I smirk: Yes, fucker, be afraid. Be very afraid. He's lucky my mind's elsewhere, and I have no time to kick his ass, cause seriously, that's what would happen. He might be a gorilla, but he's a gorilla who dances like a fairy. So I'm sure I can take him. Fucker.

Heading to Edward's, I run every stop sign - well all six between his house and mine - and the one and only red light in town, thanking to all fuck that I know Chief Swan's in the town diner eating his steak and cobbler. Predictable much? I have to take my hands off the bike handles a few times and wipe them on my jeans, trying my best to stop my anxiousness and calm my nerves.

Pulling up out front, I take a moment before heading in. My heart is pounding while my stomach cramps. I know it's stupid to be so nervous, and I know it's childish to feel so overwhelmed, but I cant help it. This is not just a fuck or a one-night stand. Yea Know! If I had wanted that, this would have been sealed and done a long fucking time ago.

But weirdly enough, I've known we were different from the first time I set eyes on him. This is Edward fucking Cullen, people. He's my boy, my love, and forgive me if I want it to be nothing but awesome.

Before I get to knock, the door swings open, and there in all his fucked up red headed glory is my boy. And as always, he takes my breath and calms my nerves, as he steals my heart. And in that very moment, all is right with the world, I can do nothing more than smile madly and wildly at him as he returns it tenfold.

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen are standing by the door, ready to exit, and I shoot them a quick glance, not wanting them to see my anticipation or nervousness. And the fact that the front of my jeans is just way too tight right now, hoping not to tip them off. Cause God knows, all I want them to do is get the hell out and stop the fussing.

Mrs. C. kisses us both, telling us to be good, as Mr. C. shakes both our hands and informs us that there's a few beers in the fridge, but not to go overboard, and that the pizza's on its way. He eyes us gingerly before saying sternly, "Edward, your mother and I don't want to be disturbed this weekend!" as he gives Mrs. C. a wink, raising his eyebrow. Yuck! Gross! And I swear I hear her giggle. Yuck! Grosser! Then he continues eying us, giving us a once over." I have no desire to hear from Chief Swan this weekend, informing me of whatever trouble you two got yourselves into. All right?" Edward and I glance at each other then back to him and nod frantically.

And with that, they're gone. The door clicks loudly behind them. Edward and I stand frozen in the entrance-way as we listen intently for the car engine to become a distant memory.

We're still standing, staring, when there's suddenly another knock at the door. And with a deep exhale of disappointment, Edward opens it, chuckling to himself when he spots the pizza delivery guy, grabbing the money from the table telling him to keep the change. He carries the pizza to the kitchen as I follow, placing it on the table as I grab two beers from the fridge, and we both sit down in silence - eating, drinking and staring at each other over the kitchen table.

We're finishing our second beer and the rest of the pizza before either of us speaks, and it doesn't surprise me when it's Edward that breaks our comfortable silence, "Jasper?" I look at him, and I mean really look at him.

His pale, soft skin - on which there's a slight blush right now - his greener than green eyes - in which I see us, our lives, our love, my world and somewhat of a little fear and concern - his redder than red fucked up, sticking all over the place hair wanting nothing more than to run my fingers through it, tugging on it just so I can hear him groan that deep down in his chest groan again. My gaze finally lands of his straight nose and square jaw. My boy is perfect in every fucking way, and as my cock twitches and hardens in my jeans, I sigh deeply! He reaches across the table, placing his hand on mine.

Taking me by the hand, he leads me upstairs, grabbing my bag on the way. Reaching his room, setting my bag down and closing the door with a gentle click, he turns slowly and smiles devilishly as I gulp hard.

But before I can speak, all hell breaks loose and my boy pounces, knocking me off my feet and onto his bed my back hitting it with a hard thud. As all the air leaves my lungs, my eyes open to find Edward straddling my hips, grinning like a fucking lunatic and all I can do is laugh. A horny, eager Edward is definitely my favorite Edward.

He kisses me vigorously, biting my bottom lip, making me release a moan, watching as he leans back and smiles. Fucker. Oh, he so thinks he's in charge here, but not if I can fucking helps it. And with all the force I can muster, I switch us. Who's smiling now. Fucker? Me! that's who!

He takes this opportunity to reach up and rid me of my t-shirt, tossing it to the floor. His hands wander over my shoulders and down my chest, stopping directly over my piercing as he thumbs them. My head falls back and my chest heaves, while a thick, deep, gravelly groan leaves my lips. Making me buck down unto him,as he release's his own. Fuck, I love his touch. Don't intend to live without it.

Leaning down, I attack his mouth like it's my favorite ice cream, but there's nothing sweet about it. It's all licks and sucks, bites and tongue. He's moaning soft and low, panting hard and heavy. His hands come up, fingering my hair as he pulls it roughly. I groan into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat, vibrating back to dance on my tongue.

As I grind my denim-clad cock over his, he bucks up into my touch, seeking his own friction. Pulling back, I help him dispose of his own t-shirt, and with hungry eyes, I stare in awe at my boy lying back on this bed all flushed and sweaty, panting and wanton.

He smiles shyly, and I chuckle to myself, wondering what the hell he's got to be shy about right now? What's he gonna do when I have his ass completely naked, which will hopefully be in a few seconds if my sorry butt has anything to do with it?

Laying my weight back on him, we're now chest to chest, and I can feel the need and electricity flow between us. It's overwhelming and surreal, but right and honest at the same time, making it perfect.

Our breathing fills the room. Our groans, moans and grunts reach every corner, vibrating back in stereo.

I watch my boy as he squirms beneath me, and my heart swells with all the love and passion I have for him.

God, I love his wantonness. I yearn for his need. In this moment, he doesn't think, he feels. He wants. He lets loose and becomes free. He's amazing when he's coming undone, so keeping him undone is my intention.

Our breathing is heavy and labored. Our chests are heaving excitedly. Sweat builds slowly, and glistens, covering our entire chests, making us slip and slide. Hands are everywhere - touching, feeling, groping. I slip my hand down between us, struggling to release him. As he follows my lead, our fingers tangle with each others, being caught up in our haste and urgency. It's getting us fucking nowhere, so I lean back on my heels, taking a moment to breathe, a moment to feel and a God damn minute to think.

He looks at me in all his fucked up flushed glory. He's all confused and bewildered, and all I can do is smile, all the while trying to catch my God damn breath. This shit is not for the weak of heart, I tell ya!

Placing my hands on either side of his head, I lean in as my hot breath fans his face. His eyes flutter closed and his lips part. Fuck! He's as sexy as all get out. Not able to resist my boy, I press my mouth to his, stealing his panting breaths into my own lungs. And when his eyes are finally able to open, he sighs deeply, as his head reaches back further, offering me his long, lean, smooth neck. And who the fuck am I to say no. I lick, suck and bite my way from below his ear, the home of my favorite little mole, down and over every sexy pulse point, reaching his collarbone and shoulder, tasting salty sweat and the sweetness that is Edward.

Leaning back once more, I eye him timidly before I speak. My voice is low and heavy. My own nerves and breathing won't let it be any other way. So as I stare into his dark, deep, glassy eyes, I sigh deeply before continuing.

"Baby, we need to remove the rest of our clothes. And I don't know how you feel, but I'm not really in the mood to fight your jeans to release what belongs to me."

In a flash, he's off the bed, and like lightning his jeans are around his ankles. And now he's standing there all sweaty and sparkling, his hands on his hips with the most amazing smile on his face. As I said before, eager much?

I stare hungrily as I lick my lips, breathing deeply, begging my eyes to stay open, so I may enjoy the view, as they fight me, wanting to flutter closed, wanting nothing more than to download this to memory.

Struggling, I stand, unbuttoning my own jeans and pushing them down and off. And now - Finally! - we both stand naked, making me flash back to our shower, causing me to take a shallow breath and gulp hard. My head is spinning, so I close my eyes as my heart thumps hard and heavy in my chest. And then his fingers are on my face and my eyes flutter open, looking over at his amazing sexy-ass eyes and smile.

He releases his own soft sigh before he speaks. "Baby, can we do this? I need this. I need you!"

And with that, I push him back to the bed. And it's so much God damn easier now that we don't have fucking clothes in the way. I'm beside him, and he rolls to face me. Pushing his hands into my hair, he pulls me towards him, attacking my lips, groaning and moaning with every lick and swipe. He bucks into me, as I do him. My hand roams to his hair, and I finger the softness, pulling on it gently.

He groans deep and loud, filling the room with his glorious noises, and my heart skips a beat. I've waited a week to hear that sound again, and it doesn't disappoint. It is just as I remembered, if not better. I once thought it was the acoustics of the bathroom making him sound that way, but now I know it's me - Fucking me! - making him sound so wonderful, and I couldn't be fucking happier.

I roughly rub my leaking pre-cum with his making it easier to glide. I groan deep, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and biting down gently. He whimpers so soft and low. Kissing down his face, across his cheek, I suck tenderly on his ear lobe. Making him shiver before I whisper soft and hoarse," Edward? Baby, I want to suck your cock!" His breath hitches as he gasps his hands in my hair tighten and pull harder, making me smirk to myself, and enabling me to continue.

"I need you in my mouth baby! I want to feel you glide on my tongue!" And with that, he pulls me to his face, eagerly sucking on my lips and tongue. He's panting hard. His chest is heavy and heaving while he inhales heavily through his nose, continuing to buck up onto me frantically. As I think to myself, Bingo! I have a green light.

Releasing myself somewhat from his grip of death, I start my journey to the Promised Land. But unlike Moses, I will not be waiting forty day or forty nights to quench my thirst, the waiting and longing ends tonight!

He offers me his neck, and I take it hungrily, sucking and biting gently, leaving marks, I am sure, but nothing that won't fade soon or hurt my precious boy. He's whimpering and squirming deliciously below me. His sweat is saltier and sweeter as his nerves and anxiousness release it from his every pore. I lick at it, lap it up, taste and savor every God damn drop he offers me willingly.

Reaching his heaving chest as his long lean fingers play tenderly with my hair. I pause, giving some well-needed attention to his budding nipples. They're hard like pebbles, but the skin is soft and smooth on my tongue. I lick them tenderly before taking each one in turn between my teeth, making him pull harder on my hair and buck roughly up into me as his back arches. I smile with the knowledge that I affect him this way, hoping to get the chance to tell him the same.

I reach his flat, hard stomach as it contracts and expands beneath my lips and the tender touches of my fingertips. It falls and rises with every movement I make. I hear every sound and breath leaving his lips, and for a moment, I'm caught up in the sights and sounds around me, once again downloading it to what I now fondly call the Edward file.

My tongue takes over and awakes me from my musing. It's found his happy trail, and the tip of it is excitingly twisting and lapping in the short soft hairs lying there. As I follow the path, my eyes widen and I swallow hard, cause for the first time ever, I'm up close and personal with Edward's long, hard, heavy cock. And I finally realize in that second that I've never fucking done this before, and hope to all hell and pray to all that is holy that I don't fuck this up, cause God knows I want this again, God knows there's no going back, and God knows I won't be able to live without it.

Placing my hands on his hips, I push myself down as he opens his legs wider, enabling me to sink between them, squirming a little to get comfortable, my own hard cock rubbing against the sheets and mattress. I take a few nervous breaths, gulping back the thick saliva that now rests in a pool at the back of my tongue; I take a minute to glance up at Edward.

He's lifted his head off the pillow, and is staring wide eyed down at me. He looks nervous, his body slightly trembling, I feel his legs shaking anxiously by my shoulders.

Trying to claim him, I circle my thumbs into his hipbones, and with a deep shaky sigh, his eyes flutter closed as his head hits the pillow.

Reaching down, I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock, its heavier than I thought even somewhat thicker. Shit thicker! Don't think Hale! Don't think about thicker right now! Just feel. Squeezing a little tighter and firmer, I realize he's hot to the touch. Well God damn knew by boy was hot but this hot. Fuck. I hear his breath hitch as he exhales loudly. And then something stirs in me. My head stops spinning, my heart stops pounding, and suddenly I'm now calm and relaxed. I can do this. There's no worries. This is Edward - the boy I want, the boy I need, the boy I love - so there is no wrong in this. It's all love. passion and want, no wrong or right to be seen or heard of. And with that final thought, I continue.

As I pull him towards my waiting lips, my eyes close slowly. My tongue swipes over his slit, making me tingle as I hear Edward gasp before he whispers softly, "Oh fuck! Jasssssssper! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" I can't keep the smile off my lips as I proceed to lick him again, this time releasing a low, hearty groan from my boy.

His hands are now gripping frantically in my hair, pulling on it tightly, as if he needed something to ground him. Not waiting any longer, I open my lips wider, and I take a deep breath through my nose, inhaling his musky scent before placing the head of his now throbbing cock on my tongue. And oh my fucking gravy, it's everything and nothing like I expected. It's hard, but soft. It has ridges, but it's smooth. It's thick, but I'm able to handle the girth. I push down and pull up, wetting and sucking, slurping and slobbering.

He's panting and moaning. He's cussing and groaning, squirming and whimpering. I take a chance to look up at him, and his eyes are closed, lips parted, chest heaving, and he looks so fucking beautiful and glorious right now.

Reaching for the side table, I grab the lube, smirking to myself, and the stupid fucker wanted hot and tingly.

He freezes when he hears the cap click, but I do my best to distract him with my mouth. I take him deeper, twirling my tongue over the thick, heavy head. He gasps and whimpers as I suck him harder, more eagerly.  
"Fuck, Jasper! Don't stop! Please don't stop! EVER!"

Releasing him with a pop, I smirk crazily before informing him confidently, "Patience, sweetness. All in good time"

I place one lubed finger at his entrance. Taking one last deep breath, I push forward, slowly feeling him tense under me. I wait. As long as it takes, I'll wait. And then he whispers softly, "More, Jasssssper. More please."  
And I smile.

Pushing forward patiently, now having the green light, I feel the heat and tightness of his ass. This is harder than I thought! Shit! Shit! Shit! What the fuck do I do? Sucking slowly, I release him one last time before looking up at him. His eyes are tight, his body tense.

"Edward?" Nothing. "Edward, baby?" Nothing. "Eddddwwwward?" He raises his head slightly, nervousness and fear written all over it. Pulling back, I kneel, not letting go of his cock, stroking him gently, tenderly rubbing my thumb over the head spreading pre-cum and saliva around the ridges of his thick heavy dick, still fingering his ass timidly and slowly as I whisper softly and calmly, "Edward, I need you to relax! Can you do that for me, baby?" He nods. "I'm not going to hurt you! Do you trust me?" And he nods again. As shaky fingers come up wiping sweat from his brow.

Bending, I place him back in my mouth, sucking and licking, savoring and wanting. He's getting harder, throbbing stronger. His body is squirming and trembling as I press forward. I feel him take a deep, long awaited breath as my finger sinks deeper into his heavenly heat, and at last, I feel his ass come flush with my palm. 'Oh thank you God! Please make him enjoy this! Please make him want more! Please! I beg. fucking please!' Finally I release the shakiest breath I didn't even realize I was holding as he growls, "Fuck me, Jasper. Feeeelllllllls sooo gooooooood!" 'Bingo.'

And now I have lift off. I go to town. I'm sucking vigorously and fingering him frantically. He's groaning and growling, shaking and squirming, pulling on my hair and pushing on my shoulders. His breath is heavy and hot as he shakes and trembles beneath me. His hole is hot and smooth, tight and slippery. He's devouring my finger, taking every push and pull I give him. He's panting my name, he's yelling cusses, and to my amazement, he's about to fucking cum.

Squeezing and pressing a second finger past his tight muscle, I scissor him slowly, pumping and twisting, stretching him for me. I feel the change. Its hot and tight, harder and stronger, and as his tight ass becomes even tighter around my digits, his hot cum shoots deep and hard to the back of my throat. I gulp him, I take him, I savor him, as I swallow every last God damn drop eagerly.

And as I release his softening cock from my mouth, I lovingly lick him clean.

He lays totally spent and exhausted before me. As I smile down, he smiles stupidly and awkwardly in return. Sweat dripping from his face, rolling into his hair sticking to the pillow his chest heaves as he swallows hard. God he's beautiful! But he's such a dork! However, he's my fucking dork!

"Jas-Jasp-Jasssssssper! Fuck! Fuck me! Soooooo gooooooood!" As he pants uncontrollably. Gotta love him.

Not giving him a chance to think to much or recover to long, I grab the lube again. Reaching for a condom, I quickly sheathe myself with it before lubing up, reminding myself to be generous and not skimp. I wrap his limp, shaky legs up and over my hips and pull him down to meet my own as I raise to hover over him. He quickly yanks me to him, thanking me with his mouth and lips for a job well done as he hums upon my tongue, tasting and savoring his own flavor his blunt nails marking my back and neck making me shiver and squirm.

I feel myself float above him. I'm overwhelmed and overly excited. My heart's pounding in my chest as I feel my form shake and shiver above him. With one shake of the head, I bring myself back to the moment, wanting and needing to be grounded. His hands are tight in my hair he's tugging and pulling scraping at my scalp, as I wrap my hand under and over his shoulder, I place myself at his entrance.

He's still breathing heavy and hard. His skin's all flushed and glistening. His fucked up red hair is even more fucked up - all wet and sticky. And I couldn't be happier, cause I've never seen anything more beautiful than my wonderful boy.

Pushing myself forward, I feel his resistance. Oh fuck, he's tight! Ever so fucking tight! Shit. Shit! Shit.

Am I even going to be able to do this? I can't! I can't! What the fuck am I gonna do? Its not going to work! I can't hurt him! I won't hurt him! will this fucking hurt him?. God damn it. He's too fucking tight!

But as I'm wasting time second guessing myself, I feel two strong, hot, sweaty hands cup my butt and push me further.

I open my squinting eyes to find Edward smiling happily up at me. His eyes are filled with wonder and lust and as he bites his bottom lip. He eggs me on with his glorious words: "Jasper, I trust you please,you can do this baby!"

So taking my hand out of his hair, I have it copy its partner, wrapping under and over Edwards other shoulder giving me the leverage needed, feeling him settle in beneath me, making himself comfortable and content.

Then as I push slowly and painfully into his tight heat, his eyes roll to the back of his head, straining his neck against the pillow. My name gasps from his lips, his tone laden with lust and passion. "Oh my Fuck! Jasper." I roll forward he pushes back. I push in; he pulls me out - slow and steady, forceful and strong.

Fuck, it feels so good-so good-so good. I feel so powerful and overwhelmed all at the same time. My body trembles as I pull him closer to me, wanting to get closer to him, wanting to be one, wanting to escape deeper into his heavenly heat.

He's tight and I struggles to stay in the moment, I feel I'm being strangled by his tightness as I throb deep within him. My orgasms growing I feel it rumble in my belly making me light headed. The need to explode consumes me as I struggle to hold off and stay in this moment. His breath fans my face as his pants echo in my ears. He's screaming my name, as I'm chanting his, its lower than a whisper as I press myself to his shoulder its incoherent and barely English.

I roll up into him he rocks down unto me, his hands are everywhere he's scratching and clawing while his lips devour me sucking and biting I cant keep up. Its fucking Amazing!  
I try my best to stay grounded and in control, my boy is loosing it so eagerly and deliciously, with his hands on my ass his fingers clawing at my skin he rocks up forcefully.  
He wants more! He wants everything! He wants me! And he cant get enough.

I feel the tear escape under my lashes. It rolls down my face, and as I slowly open my eyes, I watch as it lands on Edward's cheek, joining and entwining with his own. I gasp, as does he.

I reach between us, trying desperately to grab at him wrap my hand around his cock. But he swipes me away shaking his head frantically bringing his body up to met mine, tighter bucking eroding sliding and grinding.  
"Just you Jasper! I want just you!"

He pulls me tighter to him, placing his lips tenderly to mine. I pull him tighter to me, sucking his tongue into my mouth, savoring his Edward flavor, storing it in my Edward file.

Then it begins I feel it start in my toes. They tingle and curl. It's racing up my legs, over my thighs and through my belly, engulfing me, overpowering me, stealing my breath and stilling my heart. And for the first time in my life, I'm releasing myself into the soft, strong, heavy heat of the person I love. And with that thought, I scream his name loud and proud, as mine escapes erotically from him. Praying loudly wanting him to know what this means to me, wanting him to know how he makes me feel, wanting him to know that he is the most amazing creature ever put on the face of this earth. Cause at this moment, everything is so overwhelming, all consuming, and oh so fucking mind blowing.

I pull out gingerly, as I continue to hover above him, touching forehead to forehead.  
Our breathing slows as our chests calm. He tenderly kiss's the top of my nose, as my lips graze his light stubbled jaw. I rise making my way painfully and slowly to the bathroom, disposing of the condom in the small trashcan by the sink, running the water until it runs warm. Returning to the room, I stop short at the bottom of the bed. Edward's on his side, curled slightly into himself, arm over the top of his head. He's breathing gently, his body glistening with sweat while his chest heaves. In addition, the warm flush that decorates him makes him utterly delicious.

Crawling over him, I kiss his calf, his thigh, his hip, his stomach and chest before reaching his beautiful swollen lips. He moves his arm to pull me tighter to him. I gently wipe him down before cleaning myself and tossing the towel to the hamper. Pulling on the blankets, I help him under the covers as he curls into me, head on my chest, legs intertwining with my own. My arm comes and covers my face as I feel Edward sigh deeply.

Eyeing him wearily, I have to inquire, "Sweetie, you OK?" He nods into my hold. "You sore?" He nods again. Now I'm pissed

"Did I hurt you, babe? I'm so sorry!" I rise to get up, now nervous and angry, but as quick as lightning; his hand is on my chest, pushing me back. "No, baby, you didn't hurt me! I'm just sore, that's all! We knew that would happen, right?"

And as he snuggles into me again, rubbing my chest, trying to ease my nerves and pounding heart, he continues, "Jasper, baby, you could never hurt me. You wouldn't let yourself do that! It was amazing and wonderful. You made me feel loved and cared for. Now, for the moment, I have a reminder, and I can live with that. OK?"

Still anxious, I nod. As he kisses my chest.

"I love you, Jasper."

"I love you too, sweetness."

I don't remember closing my eyes, but I do remember the warmth and strength being wrapped around my body. Sighing deeply, he relaxed contentedly into my side and onto my chest. And at that moment, all was right with the world. And so help me God, I tend to keep it that way.


	17. Third Out Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Third out take of this story: Back when the boys were in college and Edward asks Jasper to bottom for him for the first time.  
> It was hinted at in chapter 11.
> 
> And as always my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, have to thank her, cause I love her. She keeps me straight so to speak LOL.
> 
> so lets go find out what Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen have been up too:

Entering the room, it takes me a second to process Edward's request, and now I'm fucking nervous. A slight sweat gathers on my brow. As I bring my hand up to wipe it, then anxiously rub it on my jeans.

Why the fuck am I becoming so nervous? I don't understand - this is Edward! Not some God damn stranger! Glancing over at him, he has his back to me, and he's still singing quietly to himself, being a cocky fucker - well as cocky as my Edward can muster. Wonder whats brought this on? Wonder what's gotten into him? He's never requested this before! He's never even voiced the need for it. So should I be suspicious? Nuh-uh... Should I question him? Nuh-uh...

Then like a hurricane, my self-doubt takes over and decides to play havoc with my heart. Has another guy caught his eye? Does he feel the need to practice before he leaves my sorry ass and runs off with said fucking guy. Jasper Hale, calm the hell down! You're acting like a fucking idiot!

Didn't you just have this talk with him? Didn't he just declare his undying endless love for you? Isn't this the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with? What are you thinking? Aren't you the one kicking your own ass trying to find a way to propose? So what's your fucking problem? God damn it, Hale!

But the nasty ass doubt continues its battle on my weakened heart and overzealous mind. What if it is another fucking guy? Now I feel my blood start to boil. As my chest heaves rapidly, I find myself inhaling deeply just to stop my head spinning out of control. Who the hell's after my boy? What the hell would you do? What then, Jasper? Not the fucking big man on campus now, Hale, are ya?

My mind's now racing, running through our daily routine like an old black and white silent movie. For some reason, I can't panic in color. I think it's got something to do with forest greens and copper reds having a calming effect on me. So when I delve into the deepest darkest corners of my nightmares, they seem to appear only in black and white - feeling the need to screw with my head even more... Fuckers.

Who the fuck would it be though? Who the fuck would have caught his fucking eye? I'm racking my brain trying to think of someone, anyone, who might have propositioned my boy. M-mm-hm mm. Paul? I bet it's Paul! Fucking Paul from the coffee shop! I see him! I see how he looks at my boy when we go for coffee. Fucker! I'll kick his sorry ass from here to next Sunday if it's fucking Paul.

Thinking again, this time harder, making my head hurt even more. Fuck! And then another situation dawns on me. I got it! I got it! It's Felix - Felix the fucker! The tall guy from our English class. I see what he's fucking up to, pretending to question Edward about our classwork, pretending he doesn't get what the fucking professor is talking about. Idiot! I always knew someone in college could never be that fucking stupid.

He must take me for a fucking fool if he thinks he's going to get the fuck away with this. He's another one that makes my list off sorry asses to kick from here to next Sunday.

Jasper, shut the fuck up. Stop fucking second guessing yourself. This is Edward you're talking about. This is your boy! He just wants you; its not a crime. He doesn't have an ulterior motive - this is God damn normal! Long term couples can switch... Right?

Making my way over to our bed, I take a seat on the edge, not really sure what the fuck to do next. I eye Edward quizzically, maybe looking for some kind of answer. Or maybe hoping for the God damn floor to open and swallow my sorry ass. I don't know. I haven't decided which one I prefer right now.

But as I watch him, I'm filled with even more confusion. The boy's busy - way too busy. It seems he's fluttering around like a fucking butterfly right now to even look in my direction.

Has he gotten taller? Nuh-uh...  
Does be look thinner? Nuh-uh...  
What has changed him then? What the fuck has happened?

Cut it the hell out... Jasssssper? Shut the fuck up. I chastise myself as I'm bending over to put my head in my hands, crazily running my fingers through my hair, desperately tugging on the ends. Please, Jasper, shut the hell up before I want to kick my own ass!... Pleasssse I beg ya.

But deciding that not even listening to myself was a good idea, I continue my rambles. The boy's just happy. That's all. Course he's fucking happy! You idiot. He's getting to tap your sorry ass tonight. The thought makes me gulp hard, unable to swallow as my mouth decides at this very second to run fucking bone dry.

But really, Jasper, you need to get the fuck over this and stop your worrying. You should be happy and overjoyed that he wants you this way. As a matter of fact, you should be happy that he still fucking thinks that your ass is still sexy enough for him to want. And you're fucking lucky he waited this fucking long. He should have shoved his cock in your sorry ass a long fucking time ago, if you really think about it. God knows it's his turn, for crying out loud.

So stop your God damn whining and being a selfish bastard. You're just nervous, that's all. You've had the reins all these years, and now he wants to know what all the fucking fuss is about. So shut the hell up and grow a set and let the boy have his moment. You never know, you just might fucking like it. Asshole!

Staring at Edward, eying him questioningly, my mind just keeps racing. But now I'm wondering what the fuck he's doing. From what I can make out, he's doing a whole load of fucking nothing right now. He's picking up shit from one spot and putting it in another, picking clothes from the floor near the hamper and throwing them in. The silly fucker's cleaning the room like he's expecting company.

Fuck, maybe he is. Would he be turning kinky on me! Fuck! I hope not.

I don't get it,. He's confusing me. What the fuck is he doing? Then it dawns on me, he's fucking stalling. If I look a little closer and read between the lines I can see it. His hands are shaking slightly. His body lets loose a little tremble every once and a while, and the silly fucker can't make eye contact. Fuck I've been so busy questioning his motives, I didn't see how much the fact that he wants this so bad is making him nervous and crazy.

God, I really am a selfish bastard sometimes.

God, I'm so stupid!

"Edward?" And nothing.

"Edward! Sweetie, you OK?" Still fucking nothing.

He's in the bathroom now! I hear him puttering around - he's folding and unfolding towels. God, he's a silly fucker sometimes!

"Eddddddddwwwwwward?" And now I have his God damn attention, as he pops his head around the door frame, eyebrows raised questioningly, like hearing my voice right now surprises him.

The boy worries me sometimes, I tell ya! Worries me.

"Yes, hon, you need me?" It's more than a whisper, but still not as loud as his normal voice, but I can just make out the shaky undertones.

My poor boy's scared shit-less.

"Edward, c'mere babe!" I keep my voice low and calm.

But still I'm sitting alone on the edge of our bed.

"C'mere Edward, I need you!"

"Be right there, sweetie, give me a minute, just finishing up in here!" His voice sounds a little too squeaky and unsure.

"Edward Anthony Cullen? If you don't get your sorry ass out of the fucking bathroom right now. I'm coming in there, and so help me God! I'll fuck you senseless on that little fucking fluffy rug you love so much - you know the one I'm talking about - the one in front of the fucking shower. Do you really want me to make a mess of your little fluffy rug, Edward? You wouldn't want me to do that now, Edward. Would you? Edward?

"Do you hear me Edward Cullen ?"

And with that, he slowly but surely makes his way into our room, wiping his hands on a towel before dropping it at his feet. I smirk to myself. Silly fucker's going to have to clean that up later. He's slightly slumped and still not making eye contact, and as I now watch him closer, I notice his hands shaking nervously.

At that very moment, my heart breaks a little for my boy.

I remember what it feels like! The nervousness.  
I remember how it messes with your head! Making you second guess yourself.  
I remember feeling the doubt and dread! Not feeling worthy.

So I decide within an instant, as my heart skips a little and I get some of my confidence and cockiness back to make this as awesome a first time for him, as he did for me.

I pat the bed softly, looking up at him through my lashes, and as I'm swiping my hands down the legs of my jeans, I hear him sigh deeply. But he stays put – frozen - not moving a muscle.  
Taking his hands in mine - as they continue to shake timidly - I tenderly rub my thumbs over his knuckles, trying to soothe his nerves and anxiety. He gives me a small smile while biting on his bottom lip. God, my boy is so adorable. Gotta love him. But right now, I gotta show him.

His eyes are glassy and his lashes wet. His nervousness and uncertainty hurts me to the core. He shouldn't have to feel this way! He shouldn't have to struggle with himself for wanting this. And if I make him feel anything other than the ultimate awesomeness that he is, then I should walk away right now, cause I don't fucking deserve this amazing boy standing shakily in front of me.

Pushing him by the shoulders, I make him kneel before me, tenderly placing my fingers under the hem off his t-shirt. I ease it up and over his head, as he releases a struggling deep sigh. Breathing deeply, I open my legs, pulling him to my body.

He wraps his arms tightly around my waist, clinging to me like his life depended on it. His cheek presses against my chest as he starts to pant softly, trying desperately to inhale through his nose. He's worrying me. If I don't calm my boy, he's going to hyperventilate.

I bring my hand up, running my fingers through his fucked up red hair, making him melt into me. He purrs gently in his throat, pressing his lips to my collar bone. Fingering his hair tenderly - it feels so soft and silky under my touch, making my breath hitch. I inhale his sweet scent, letting it take over, letting it consume and possess me. His whole self engulfs me, and suddenly I calm, feeling serene and at peace.

My body shivers with need and anticipation. I bringing my lips down to met the top of his head.

He pulls me tighter, and twists himself so my lips now find his forehead, then his eyelid, traveling to his nose, until they make their way home, crashing with full force into his mouth. It's not gentle or tender. It's full of passion and lust. We suck and slurp, bite and lick. My tongue enters him, exploring every nook and cranny of his moist smooth heat. He's moaning and groaning uncontrollably, purring and growling. Shit, that's hot. I tug and pull on his hair, dragging his head back to stretch the sexy length of his neck, encouraging it to accept my lips, teeth and tongue.

I'm claiming him, marking him. My teeth bite as my lips suck. He whispers my name - all hot and sweaty - his breath fanning the back of my neck.

My hands wander down his back, over every roped muscle and smooth contour, my blunt nails dipping and trailing at his wondrous skin as I suck on his collar bone.

His shaky long fingers find their way into my hair. He fingers and pulls on my curls, His hot lips travel to my ear as he sucks my lobe between his teeth. He's chanting and praying, "God, Jasper! Fuck, Jasper! Shit, Jasper! Oho, o baby!"

His eyes flutter closed - he's unable to stay focused. Our chests are heaving in unison as I let my fingers sink deeper into the waistband of his jeans, cupping his supple skin, his firm cheeks resting readily into the palms of my hands.

I pull him towards me, enabling our lips to find purchase in each others. His denim-clad cock rubs deliciously with mine, making us both growl eagerly onto each other tongues, mixing saliva while combining flavors.

The room is heavy with lust, full of longing and desire. Our names and prayers echo off each wall, causing us to pant and groan, buck and ram. Everything's raw and rough, coarse and crude. The anticipation grows as the air becomes thick.

Putting my hand between us, I tug on his button, jerking on his zipper, trying my best to extract him from his clothes. His hands fall from my hair, pulling on my ears. Traveling downwards, blunt nails scratch my neck and shoulders as he pulls vigorously at my shirt, I swear! The fucker's stretching it; and its my favorite too! But whatever. At this moment I couldn't give a fuck!

I stand, taking him with me. He's all sweaty, his skin hot to my touch. Bending, I free him of his jeans as he kicks them to one side, and the fuckers find the hamper! Wow, two points to Edward! I chuckle to myself. While still bent, I take this opportunity to lavish his muscled thighs with bites and sucks. His taut skin ripples and shivers under my manipulations. My boy's exquisite - peerless and perfect. I'm sure there will never be a time when I'll ever have my fill of him.

As I stand, I bring him to me. Our bodies pressed from knee to shoulder, we pump and grind our boxer-clad cocks, creating friction for each of us as we push and pull. I can feel the pre-cum gather on the material as we slip and slide into one another. Silently I think to myself: Whoops! Edward's not going to be happy with this. He hates sticky.

The room starts to spin, the groans getting louder and more powerful. Slurps and sucks echo throughout the space. I whisper his name - he whimpers mine. I yell to all that is holy - he screams to the heavens. This is us - this is who we are - this is where we're always meant to be, and where we belong, and where I want to spend the rest of my life.

Pushing him on the bed, I relieve him of his underwear, tossing them towards the hamper, silently fist pumping myself as they hit the rim, slowly tumbling into the dirty wash. Score two points, Jasper.

He lies there all wanton and panting, his cock all hot heavy and hard on his hip. I sigh deeply, trying my best to stay put, trying my best not to pounce. Licking my lips, I stand and stare. I want it - I need it! I just want and long to devour it. My mouth dries as I suck eagerly on the inside of my cheek. The thought of putting him between my lips, taking him in my mouth, sucking on his thick heavy head takes over my brain. But I can't. I have to let go. I have to give this over. Sucking and claiming him is not my job tonight. I have to learn to relinquish my power. I won't be in control tonight - I'm finally handing him the reins.

I eye him hungrily as I remove my own underwear, finally standing at the foot of the bed, looking expectantly down on him, all buck naked and eager.

His eyes scan me, landing ravishingly on my hard cock. His lips part as short breaths leave his lungs. He moistens his lips in anticipation.

Fuck, he's gorgeous!

Placing my hands on my hips, I straighten, watching in amusement as Edward's eyes never leave my cock. Wanting to have a little fun, I swing my hips. I watch excitedly as Edward's eyes follow my dick while it bounces off each thigh. Only when I let out a hearty chuckle does he make eye contact, shyly raising his eyes to mine, embarrassment adorning his beautiful face in a slight blush. And now we both laugh heartily, quickly evaporating the tension between us.

As I regain my composure, I smirk up at him devilishly and raise an eyebrow. He swallows hard as his dick twitches on his hip, now moist from his pre-cum, all hard round and shiny, Perfect! making my mouth water and my vision blur. I close my eyes slowly as my mind chants quietly, Fuck, Jasper. You can do this, buddy! You can do this! So once again opening my eyes, I speak in a low, strong tone and place my order. "Edward, babe, I want you crawl up the bed backwards and put that beautiful head of yours on the pillow behind you! Can you do that for me, sweetness?"

And he nods vigorously, and keeps doing so, while crawling backwards up the bed. The heels of his feet pushing his body weight, helping him reach his destination all that much faster. And finally the eagle has landed, as his fucked up red head hits the pillow behind it.

The bed dips as I start my journey. Sliding on all fours, I go to him clawing wantonly over his body. I kiss and lick as I go, tasting his salty sweat as it lingers on my tongue. My teeth gently nip at his thighs and hips, making him toss and turn, duck and weave. His long lean fingers find their way to my hair as he pulls and twirls on my curls, panting deeply as I tease his stomach, kissing and sucking, finally reaching my destination and placing a hot, sensual kiss on his oh so sexy luscious lips.

He's moaning and bucking, trying to find friction wherever he can land, but as he pushes up, I pull away. Growling with frustration, he tugs my hair stronger and tighter, trying his best to bring me to him, clawing at my neck and shoulders. With gritted teeth, he groans deeply "Fuck, Jasper, please. I need you. I need to touch you!"

I raise slowly. Still straddling his chest, I place my hands on the headboard behind his fucked up hair. Thrusting forward, I tap his lips then pull back.

He groans, and I smirk. Sneaking his tongue out, he laps the head of my cock, making me drop my now heavy spinning head between my shoulders as I gasp a loud, "Fuck! babe."

Gaining some of my control, I straighten, gripping the headboard tighter. I whisper softly, "Edward, I need you to open that beautiful mouth of yours, and let me slide my dick over your velvet tongue. Cause I really want to revisit the back of your throat."

The hands that were on my thighs are now grabbing my hips tightly, pulling me forward. As his lips part, he thrusts me sternly to the back of his throat. I gasp, "Jesus! Wow, Edward." He thrusts me forward then pushes me back. I'm gripping on the headboard like my fucking life depends on it.

My nails are digging into the wood in front of me as I hold on tight, riding my high. He's sucking and slurping. His tongue laps at my head then travels to the base. The room's growing humid and thick, as the groaning and moaning echo throughout the space.

Slowly opening my heavy eyes, I stare down at my wonderful boy, trying to stay in the moment and become grounded again. But oh my fucking gravy, he's matching my stare, looking up at me through his long lush lashes, his forest greens floating with all the emotions he holds in his heart. We're so caught up in the moment, neither of us wants to break this connection.

I'm thrusting, he's pulling, his hands cupping my ass. Blunt nails dig into my flesh, making me hiss in delight. He slips his one hand between my legs, his lean fingers caressing my balls as he rolls and squeezes them gently, making me groan and growl above him. His finger slowly slips to my entrance as he teases it softly. He circles and massages, causing a wave of pleasure to run up my thighs and across my balls, gently cradled in his palm, to where his finger's teasing my ass.

I feel the tightness begin and the rush make its way through me wanting to release. And as he continues to suck and slurp, I hold on to the headboard harder, rising to my knees as I vigorously fuck his mouth. And because he loves me, he lets me! He has me panting and hissing, rolling my hips, frantically seeking my release. And then as I close my eyes watching the fireworks and sparklers go off behind my lids. I explode - feeling the hot energy leave my body and enter his like a volcano erupting.

My forehead hits the headboard in front of me as my thighs tremble and my arms shake while my chest heaves, panting hot air in and out of my lungs. I gradually try to cool myself and regain my control. But suddenly my eyes shoot open, stretching wide in shock, cause fuck me, I just heard the cap of the lube open. As I swallow hard, I look down between my arms, still trying to come down from my rush and high. My vision's still a little blurred. I have to shake my head a little, bringing myself back to what's ahead of me and my boy.

His face is flushed and beautiful. Parted lips pant short hot breaths over my abdomen, making me shiver slightly. All the while, he looks up at me with lust-filled hooded eyes. As I watch him lustfully, he pours lube into the palm of his hand, spreading it throughout his fingers.

Bringing his attention back to me, he seems a little more shy and nervous. His forest greens are fluttering closed as he strains to keep them focused. Leaning back and down, I cup his face in my hands, tenderly kissing his forehead, nose coming to rest on his soft, swollen lips. I lick them tenderly, trying to ease his anxiety, sighing deeply when his hot tongue comes out to play and dance with mine. And before I second guess myself or have a chance to rethink this situation, I carefully place his hand between my legs, settling his fingers under my entrance.

He looks up at me nervously, unknowingly, and all I can do is smile softly in his direction, his eyes slowly close as his body shivers.

Bringing my face to his, fanning it with my hot breath, I try to speak gently and calmly, needing him to hear and understand. "Edward!" Nothing. "Edward, sweetie!" Still nothing. "Edwwwwwward!" Got him.

"Edward, baby, you OK?" And he nods, still not opening his eyes.

I trail my fingers gently down his cheek as his breath hitches. He sighs deeply and his eyes flutter open, showing all his concern and nerves as he swallows hard. "Baby, you sure you're OK?"

He nods frantically as he whispers unsure, "Yeah! Yes, babe, I'm good!"

As I cup his face in my hands, I do my best to distract him, grinding my ass over his hard as all hell cock. He groans wantonly as I press my lips tightly to his, stealing his breath and hopefully devouring his nerves and anxiety.

And now that some of the tension has released itself from my poor doubting boy, I sit myself down gently on his shaky lubed fingers, feeling him enter me inch by glorious inch as I suck his staggered breath into my lungs.

My hands find his hair sticky with sweat, clinging to his forehead and the pillow. Running my fingers through it, I pull and tug, trying my best to get closer as I rise and fall onto his waiting hand. He brings his other to my hip. Nails dig into the flesh as he guides my body in rhythm with his fingers.

When he enters a second, I gasp, tensing slightly, feeling the first initial burn, and he freezes. But instead of even thinking or giving it a second thought, and before Edward can start to rethink or doubt himself or what we're doing, I slam myself down on him, slapping the palm of his hand with my butt. Fuck! It burn's, but Oh my God it's good. I rise and fall, riding his fingers, forgetting to think, only wanting to feel.

Before I can get to straighten myself into a sitting position, Edward's hand is in my hair, pulling on the ends, dragging my face of his. He kisses my lips furiously. His tongue enters me, fucking my mouth, wanting dominance, and I give it, offering it up, tasting my own flavor mixed with his as we both groan in unison.

As I straighten, placing a hand on his chest, he slips a third finger into my hole, making me yelp! Unexpectedly, he glances up worriedly, but as I continue to concentrate on the pleasure and sensation, I let loose, riding his fingers while I scream his name, thick and heavy, combining with the air in our room.

Taking one hand off his chest, I reach for the nightstand, retrieving the condom, bringing it to my teeth and pulling it open. Smirking down at Edward, whose eyes are everywhere in wonder - on the hand between my legs, on the fingers entering my hole, on my heavy hard dick dancing before his eyes, and on the foil wrapper of the condom as I spit it towards the floor.

Slowing momentarily, but not letting him remove his fingers, I lift my thigh slightly. With painful slowness, I dress his delicious cock with the condom. Eying him knowingly, I smile and for the first time all night. He returns it willingly. And as my knee returns to the mattress, I lean over him, placing my forehead to his. Our panting breaths cover our faces, sweaty, hot and wanton.

And as his forest greens meet my vivid blues, I whisper softly, "Sweetness, you ready?" And I wait.

He slowly and gently removes his fingers from my entrance. And I whimper, instantly feeling the loss of our connection.

And with new found confidence and sincerity, he whispers softly, " Yes, I want this right now. I need this, Jasper. I need you, babe. I love you!"

And that's all I need to hear. My boy loves me, wants me, needs me. And in knowing that, I am complete.

So taking a deep breath as Edward release's his, I sit gently onto his lap. Sliding carefully down his cock,oh God so much pressure,my breath hitches. As the head enters, I suck in air as it fights to move forward, feeling the resistance in my muscles.

We've done this before. Edward likes to play with his fingers and the few toys that we possess, but shit, this is different - and slightly strange. My body fights the intrusion as my heart pounds loudly in my chest. I remind myself to breathe and relax. I close my eyes tight as my palms lay flat on his chest. My nails dig slightly into his skin. As I hiss, I hear my teeth grind.

And just as I'm about to lose it, I feel soft warm hands rub my thighs. Opening my eyes slowly, I look down into the most beautiful face with the most amazing sparkling forest greens that I could ever have seen.

My boy looks up with a little worry and concern shadowing his look of love-lust and want. And shit, I can't have that. Ain't gonna happen. Not this time, mister. So inhaling a sharp breath, I push forward and ease myself further down onto him, there's the little burn! there's the little pressure! and God damn it, right there's the fucking pleasure! And as my eyes stay tight, I hear him huskily whisper, "Fuck, Jasper! So tight, so good, baby. Fuck!"

And as I breathe deeply and relax, finally my eyes flutter open. I now sit lap to butt with Edward. He is in me fully, filling me completely. My heart is pounding, my head's a little light, and I swear I can feel the blood rush speedily throughout my every vein. It's surreal, magical, wondrous. And oh so fucking awesome right now.

Controlling myself and regaining my senses, I start to move, pulling up then pushing down slowly. My name leaves Edward's parted lips in a hushed, "Jasper, fuck, baby!"

I reply in kind, "Edward, you're amazing, sweetness!"

As I glide up and slide down, I groan and moan shamelessly. My hands are on his chest, on his shoulders, on his face, in his hair. I want him. I want all of him. I can't get enough. I rock - he rolls. I pull - he pushes. He's so powerful, so strong. He holds my hips and rocks them to him. He entwines our fingers, squeezing them tight, holding them over his heart. Leaning slowly, I attack his gorgeous mouth, sucking on his lips and biting on his tongue when it joins the party. This is a dance we've done before, a dance where only we can hear the music. Its the sound of love and want. It's the sound of forever and always. Our grunts, groans, moans and sighs are music to our ears.

And once again, I rock - he rolls. I push - he pulls. I swing - he sways. And so our dance continues.

It's like our bodies know each other on a higher level.

It's like they've met before and danced this dance in another place and time.

They've just been waiting patiently to be reincarnated with another soul and mind, just so they can have the opportunity and pleasure of reconnecting to continue their dance once more.

I feel his arms surround me and tighten around my chest and waist as he flips us. My back hits the mattress as his chest meets mine. Without missing a beat, he continues. He's thrusting deliciously, hitting my sweet spot time and time again. I think about my cock for all of a second, realizing it's caught tight and amazingly between Edward and myself. I don't even need to touch it. I feel it harden even more. Fuck! Is that possible? I feel my orgasm grow once more. Shit! Two orgasms! I could get used to this. My belly tightens, as my legs wrapped around Edwards hips start to shake, and my fingers claw and scrape at his back. Shutting my eyes tightly, I scream into the night.

"Fuck, Edward! I'm going to come AGAIN!" I thrust up onto him.

As he grinds his teeth, his husky voice whispers seductively in my ear, "Come with me, Jasper. Come for me!" And as I feel my ass tighten around his hard cock while he throbs and empties into me, I let loose, spraying everything I have left, over his chest and my stomach.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, loud panting and numerous kisses, he slips out of me with ease and tenderness. Making his way to the bathroom, a little wobbly on his legs, he runs his shaky hands through his hair roughly. I have to chuckle at my boy. He looks so out of sorts right now. Returning with a hot, wet cloth, he proceeds to wash me off. Then cleaning himself, he throws the towel towards the hamper, making it in.  
Fucker! Two points, Edward.

Curling ourselves into bed, Edward goes the usual route and shimmies himself into my side as I place my arm under his back and over his shoulder. We lay silently for a few moments, until he breaks it, curiously asking, "Well, babe?"

I smirk, then kiss the top of his sweaty head before I sigh deeply, then ask questioningly, "Well? Sweetie, well what?" He raises his face so his eyes can meet mine before shyly and unsure asking, "Was it good? Did you enjoy it? Wa... was... I... I go… Was I good?"

I crawl down to face him, my hand and arm going under his pillow as my other pulls him to me by the hip before I begin. "Sweetie, you were amazing! It was out of his world. And anytime you feel the need to top me, you go right ahead, babe."

His eyes go wide. "Really?" He smiles beautifully.

Returning his smile, I reply, "Yeah really, babe! You were outstanding!"

"It's not something I would want to do all the time, Jasper. But it's nice to know, Hon!"

I squeeze his hip in understanding while I lean to tenderly kiss his nose.

Then he looks worried and I frown. "Did I hurt you, love?"

And while twisting my hips a little, I smile wider. "No, babe, you didn't. Just a little reminder of our fun night!"

And as we settle into one another, not parting until we've kissed passionately, I pull him tighter. And before slumber can take me, I chuckle silently to myself as I think, Paul and Felix Who?


	18. Fourth and Last Out Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fourth and last out take of this story: Everyone wanted to know how the proposal and the wedding went down so here it is hope you all enjoy. I hope it comes across as romantic as I'm hoping. well as romantic as Jasper will let it be.
> 
> And as always my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, have to thank her,She is amazing in her help and understanding off my boys. she really does give them an edge.
> 
> so lets go find out what Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen have been up too:

J.H.C. - J. Hale-Cullen - Jasper Hale-Cullen - Mr. Jasper Hale-Cullen - Mr. Edward and Jasper Hale-Cullen

Fuck! We're married!

And I'm God damn looking more like the Joker from Batman with every minute that passes – every thought making me unable to wipe the fucking smile off my face, even if I try. I could die a happy man right now, but I'm unable to do that, as I have made a promise to my boy to stand by him and love him no matter what. Not that I didn't make that promise to him years ago, but we officially finalized it a few days back, by getting the fuck married.

As Edward snuggles closer, lying flat on his belly, sheets gathered over his plump ass and slim hips, one arm lazily thrown across my waist, face buried into my side, he sighs deeply. His hot soft breath fans my ribs, making me shiver slightly. As I lay half-seated, one arm draped with his over my mid section, the other slung loosely behind my head, I echo his sigh of contentment and peace.

I'm looking out over the beautiful, deep blue Caribbean Sea as I lay on our exquisite canopy bed in our very own God damn villa. You heard me, people, our very own God damn villa, in the beautiful Ladera resorts in St Lucia, courtesy of my wonderful new in-laws, Carlisle and Esme Cullen. What can I say, they love me, people. Love me!

Esme insisted our honeymoon be epic - her words not mine. Epic, she said! Like she was sixteen or something. She at least wanted it to be outstanding, to say the least, stating that we both needed a break from the hustle and bustle of the city before we take up residence back home in Forks. And shit, she didn't disappoint, as if she ever could. This place is fucking awesome.

Carlisle informed us that they would take care of the arrangements as a wedding gift, and what a lavish gift it was. Our own villa is one of six, scattered a thousand feet above sea level, nestled in the beautiful Pitons with a wonderful view off the Caribbean Sea.

The accommodations are out of this world. Not too shabby, even if I do say so myself. They're light and airy - three walls of nothing but coolness and comfort, the forth wall non-existent, enabling the sea breeze to float freely and deliciously throughout the space, and bestowing upon us an amazing view of the surrounding scenery, and our very own deck and plunge pool. Yep, you heard me right. POOL! AWESOME!

Thinking back, my head spins. It's been a God damn whirlwind of events these last six months. First I had to grow the balls to propose, then get up the nerve to tell the families, which set off a cluster fuck of happenings. And come on, people, don't tell me that you're surprised! And didn't see it coming, as we all knew. Once Alice found out there was going to be another fucking wedding, she couldn't keep her hands to herself. Shit, you'd've thought she'd have had her fill with her own.

But no! Not our Alice. My heart goes out to Riley sometimes; I don't know how he does it. I bet he drinks a lot - or maybe drugs - I should ask him.

The little bird was menacing, a force to be reckoned with. And in the end, it was just fucking better to stay out of her way if you knew what was best for ya, or wanted to keep your fucking balls for that matter - and I kinda like mine, so I stayed mute. Happy in the knowledge that we were letting her, Rose, Mrs C. and my mama do all the fussing.

Edward moans a little in his sleep, and I smile down on him. He's looking all kinds of fucking sexy with a slight tan coating his shoulders and back. What can I say? The pool's been getting a lot of use in the last few days! Haven't let the boy unpack his luggage as of yet! Do I need to say more?

Shit! I still can't believe the boy said yes to me. He fucking said yes to me! When I, Jasper Hale, asked him, Edward fuckhot Cullen, to marry him, he said yes, and I didn't even need to threaten him with bodily harm.

I was willing, too; was even going to beg. But I didn't need to, cause he said yes, and may I say, fucking easier than I expected.

He was under the impression we were going to a Christmas party with my co-workers. And having worked with them for a few years and having attended this get together before, it never crossed his mind to think twice about it or question me further.

Since attending college, I've worked part time at the library - my love of history and knowledge of the Civil War sealing the employment deal for me. I'd been able to earn myself some spending money and savings. With Edward being a Cullen, he never had to worry about things like that. But I never wanted my education to be too much of a burden on my mama, so I made sure to apply for scholarships and grants and pounded the sidewalk until I got myself a part-time job.

What he did question, and what piqued his interest, was the fact that I wanted to take him to dinner first. It not being just any old dinner!

I wanted to take him to one of the fanciest, most expensive Italian restaurants in the city.

Oh Yeah! People, I was going all out for my boy, only the best would do.

"Jasper, we really don't need to have dinner there, you know! You don't need to spend that much money, honey. It's so expensive! Don't you think its a little late to start impressing me now, baby? You've already got me, hon."

I reach over to brush my lips tenderly against his, smirking to myself while thinking, Ah bless his little heart, the boy's way too cute! I whisper softly, "I might have got ya, hon. But now I gotta keep ya!"

He smiles sheepishly at me before saying, "Like you could ever get rid of me!"

Bless him, I say. Bless him!

Pulling him up towards me, I hug him tightly. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. Kissing me longingly, he groans into my mouth, making it dance on my tongue, and I shiver. Stepping back, I smirk at him, before having to breathe deeply, regaining my composure. I want nothing more than to stay home and take my sexy boyfriend to bed - but I had a plan that needed to be completed - so taking advantage of my boy is not on the agenda right now. Maybe later, if I play my cards right!

So giving his towel-clad butt a playful slap, I encourage him to hurry the hell up or we'll be late for our reservations. And within the hour, we're dressed in our Sunday best, as we head out, choosing - well me insisting! - on grabbing a cab. Don't want to worry about who is or isn't going to drive our sorry asses home.

As we enter the restaurant, I sneak a glance over in Edward's direction. Fuck, he's gorgeous! He's wearing his dark charcoal gray suit, white shirt, and emerald green tie - the one I got him last Christmas - and the boy's looking all kinds of smart and sexy.

I myself chose to wear my light gray suit, white shirt and navy blue tie - funny enough, the one Edward bought for me last Christmas. But I love it - it's one of my favorites. Edward always remarks on how it matches my eyes; and tonight, that's where I wanted his attention the most.

The hostess had seated us near the center of the spacious dinning room, a request I'd placed while making the reservations. It's a small, beautiful table for two, crisp white table cloth and a soft flickering candle in the center.

The meal was outstanding, as was the ambiance. I couldn't have asked for a more romantic atmosphere - lights low, music soft, couples speaking around us in hushed tones with whispered laughter throughout the room. This place exudes a sense of calm, serenity and peacefulness.

But the main attraction was the amazing fountain which graced the middle of the floor, standing all tall and regal, nearly reaching the ceiling. It had to be at least fifteen to twenty feet high. A gentle waterfall cascades from a huge jug being held and poured by a very, and I really need to emphasize the word, VERY! scandalously clad woman. She's half fucking naked.

Look, people. I'm gay! And I was fucking staring.

I'm really God damn surprised Edward didn't kick me under the table at least once or twice just to get my attention back.

But there she stood in all her 'nakedness,' upon a large, beautifully orate crafted fish, its golds and bronzes shimmering and dancing within the restaurant's walls due to the soft glow of the candles as water trickles from its deep, wide mouth. The combined levels of flow enhancing the sound enabling it to captivate the room making it seem even more enchanting and magical.

After the waitress cleared our table of dinner dishes, having refilled our wine glasses while making a promise to return with the dessert menu, we both smiled and thanked her gracefully for her service. I sat staring at the fountain, my hand reaching across the table, entwining my fingers with Edward's.

He glances over, his eyes soft, his smile radiant, pulling my hand to his luscious lips. He sighs deeply, before gently swiping the tip of his tongue across my knuckles.

Leaning in, he whispers, "Thank you, babe. It's been such a lovely night. God, I love you dearly."

Bringing his hand to my moistened lips, I kiss his knuckles tenderly. "Love you too, sweetness, more than you'll ever know!"

He raises his glass, motioning for me to do the same, and with his soft, velvet voice, he utters my favorite sentiment, "The Best Part Of Me Is Always You," smiling widely as I return it tenfold. We then touch glasses and sip to our agreement.

Our waitress returns with the dessert menus, and as I place my order, the girl steps aside, waiting patiently for Edward as he scans the menu a few times, having to think then rethink his every choice.

The boy's got a problem, I tell ya. A problem! So we wait.

He glances at me nervously, biting gently on his bottom lip. And all I can do is smile at my boy - he's just too cute -telling him with my eyes to take his time.  
Once his mind was made up and his order placed, our wine glasses were filled once more, and we're able to sit back and make small talk, enjoy our surroundings, and from time to time comment on some of the other couples around us and the decor.

While waiting for our desserts to arrive, I glance nervously at the fountain. Edward notices and eyes me, and I meet his eyes, giving him a small smile. Suddenly his brow frowns and he tightens our clasped hands.

Tugging on my fingers gently, he questions me nervously, "Jasper? Babe, you OK?"

I grin at him hopefully, while reaching into my pocket and retrieving a shiny new coin saved and set aside for this precise moment in time. Edward eyes it bewilderingly as I play with it and spin it in my long, lean fingers. He raises his eyes questioningly as I smirk.

Curiosity getting the better of him, as I knew it would, he leans in, whispering, "What are you doing, babe? What's that for?"

Drawing a deep breath into my lungs and regaining some confidence, I calm my nerves. My excited eyes move up to meet his. "I want you to make a wish!" He looks between me and the fountain, and then shyly around at the other diners, then whispers, "Jasper, you know I don't believe in that. Wishes are not my thing - that's your territory, babe!" His lips turn up in the corners uneasily.

I place the coin on the table. Lifting my wine glass to my lips, I sip, slowly eying him over the rim. Waiting!

And Bingo!

"That's not to say that you can't make one, honey. I'm sure you could make enough wishes for the both of us!"

Smiling devilishly, I rise, taking three strides to arrive at the base of the fountain. Holding the shiny new coin between my thumb and index finger, I give it one last spin before tossing it into the cascading water. As I sigh deeply, I place both hands in my pant pockets and I wait. And once again, I wait a little longer.

And Bingo!

Within seconds, I sense him by my side. I smile over at his gorgeous face as he eyes me warily, curiosity written all over his face. Taking one hand out of my pocket, I reach over and place it in his, gently squeezing, as he returns it in kind. Leaning in, he whispers, "Whatcha doing, sweetie?"

"I made a wish, babe!" As I smirk knowingly over at him, his eyes sparkle in wonderment. I've got him!

God, do I know my boy or what! He squeezes my hand a little tighter, glancing shyly over his shoulder. Returning his eyes to me, he asks timidly, "What did you wish for, babe? Can you tell me your wish?" Nosy much?

Looking over at him, I take a deep breath, sighing softly and placing a tender kiss on his forehead before answering.

"I didn't make a wish for me, hon. I made one for you!"

"For me? Why would you make a wish for me?"  
Now I really have him. He's so curious, he could spit.

"Just thought you needed one, Edward! Is that all right with you? Do you mind that I gave you a wish?"

"What would you wish for me, Jasper? What is there I would ever need?"

Stepping closer to him, I lay my lips softly against his. He brings his hand up, cupping the back of my head, pressing me tighter to him, making the kiss linger a little longer before releasing me, as we both stare back into the flowing water fountain. Wrapping my arm around his waist, placing my hand on his hip, I pull him to me before I continue.

Drawing deep breaths into my lungs through my nose, I feel my eyes moisten. Doing my best to control my emotions, I shake my head a little and pull him a little tighter. I feel him tense slightly at my side, so I whisper, "My wish for you, baby, is the hope that you may never feel the need...  
(deep breath) to ever: steal, cheat, or lie."

He tries to pull back a little, cause now he's really pissed. I feel him tense even more, looking over as his brow frown's deeply in my direction. I drag him back to me, giving him a playful squeeze, but he's having none of it. He's trying his best to untangle himself from my hold.

His voice rises slightly above a harsh whisper. He sternly turns, trying his best to break free. But I won't let him; I don't give him a chance. I just pull him harder into my side, smirking at him, making him even more crazy. Then he asks harshly, "Jasper? Why the hell would you wish that? Why the hell would you think that? What would ever give you the God damn fucking idea that I would ever have to steal, cheat, or lie on you, or to you for that matter!"

I realize quickly that I have to get control of this, cause my boy's pissed. My boy's cussing. I laugh softly once again, kissing his forehead as he cheekily tries to pull himself away again. He's such a stupid boy sometimes!

"You didn't let me finish, sweetness. You didn't let me finish telling you my wish!"

He stands a little straighter, inhaling a few deep breaths before he turns slightly, his eyes sadly telling me to continue. Cause shit, he's really pissed.

Turning to face him, I take both his hands in mine. We stand a few inches apart, chests heaving as we try to control the emotions running wildly within us. I rub his knuckles tenderly with my thumbs as I watch his eyes flutter closed. He pants gently through parted lips as I watch and wait. Fuck, he's so beautiful. The thought gives me confidence, making me know I can do this.

Taking the little black box from my pocket, I place it in the palm of his hand, curling his fingers around it as mine cover his.

He looks a little anxious, and totally confused, as we both start to shake nervously. I bring my emotion-filled eyes up to stare into his excitedly alarmed orbs, watching as both sets moisten with affection and desire.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I calmly and lovingly continue, "Edward, my one and only wish for you ever, is the need for you to never have to either steal, cheat or lie.

But if you feel the need to steal, steal away my every fear and sorrow.  
And if you feel the need to cheat, cheat death, cause there's not a day in our lives that I can live without you.  
And baby, if you feel the need to lie, lie with me, and only me, every night for the rest of our lives.

Cause truthfully, Edward, I can't see a day in my life without you in it. And I need you by my side for always.  
So what I'm trying my best to ask is... another deep breath... Sweetness, would you do me the honor of being my husband? Marry me, Edward! So I may spend the rest of my life with you."

And as I wipe the sweat from my brow and the tears from my face, I make eye contact nervously. My shaking fingers unclasp his tight grip from the little black box in his sweaty hand. I open it timidly, revealing two round platinum bands, both with an inlay of jade green and blue sapphire entwining down the center.

Taking them both out, I place the box back in my pocket, as I look up at Edward, realizing I hadn't heard a fucking answer yet. What the hell do I do now?

He's looking at me in shock. His eye's aren't blinking - they're just pooled with moisture as he bites nervously on his bottom lip.

I panic a little, feeling my body start to freak out. My ears start to hum and my heart pounds in my chest, determined to break a few ribs in the process. I pull on his hand to get his attention.

He slowly shakes his head as his eyes flutter closed. He inhales through his nose before bringing his gaze back to me.

And I wait! Nervously.

And I wait! What the fuck?

And suddenly time stands still! As does my panicked heart!

My breathing's uneasy, my vision blurs with emotion, but I need to know. I need an answer!

I whisper, "Edward?" so low I'm not even sure he heard me. Shit! I'm not even sure I heard it myself. Maybe I just thought it!

His eye's come into focus as a lone tear slips slowly down his cheek. Then suddenly he smiles the most amazing wide ass smile I have ever seen. He looks down. As I follow his stare, I notice he's holding out his slightly shaking ring finger, presenting it to me so I may do the honor of placing the newly purchased shiny ring on it.

And before he gets to change his God damn mind, I do, wiping my own shaky hand on my pants before placing my matching ring on my own.

We stare at our matching hands for what seemed like forever. The bands of Jade and sapphire glisten in the candlelight, dancing to the rhythm of our pounding hearts and singing to the tune of our combined souls. But before I can think another thought, I'm taken out of my musing by Edward flinging himself at me fiercely, kissing my face, my neck, my hair - everywhere his lips could find flesh and purchase.

As he gloriously chants to me and to anyone else who would listen or care:  
"Yes-yes-yes-yes. Yes, Jasper, I'll marry you. Yes, Jasper, I'll steal away your sorrows and fears. Yes, Jasper, I'll try my best to cheat death so I may spend each and every day with you. And yes, Jasper, I'll lie down with you every night for the rest of our lives. Cause I love you, baby. I always have, and I always will. So my answer to you is yes."

And with that, the whole place erupts. The room fills with wolf whistles and cheers. As we sheepishly and shyly untangle ourselves from each other, our flushed faces and moistened eyes show our emotions and reaction to everyone.

We both watch in shock as each table stands, slowly clapping, some yelling, others screaming their congrats and well wishes.

As I place my hand in Edward's I lead him back to our table. The once three short strides feeling like a few miles under heavy nervous muscles. I pull out his chair, bending to kiss his forehead as he looks lovingly up at me. Then I make my way back to my own, taking a seat before reaching across to re-entwine our slightly sweaty, shaky fingers. At that moment, the waitress returns to our table with our desserts, followed by a waiter holding a freshly opened bottle of wine, informing us that it was compliments of the management, wishing us all the best for the future.

To say that we will ever forget the night of our engagement would be a fucking understatement.

Driving home to Forks was always so exciting. We got to spend time with our families and friends, and as always, eat enormous amounts of food. Our mothers always thought we looked frail and underfed, cause God forbid a human lives without their nourishing morsels. Like grilled cheese in Forks is any different from that at school. But they liked to think it was, so who were we to argue. So when we were home, they took every opportunity to feed us until we would literally burst.

And the thought of getting to spend more time in our new house was overly appealing. We were so happy that we didn't have to be a burden or too much under our parents' feet. Having our own space in our home town was way too awesome. We purchased it during last summer's vacation while home for Alice and Riley's wedding, and have spent our free weekends fixing it up, with the help of our family and friends - hoping that when we finally move back, we will be all set with no worries or concerns.

This time's a little different though - the excitement is more animated, due to the fact that my boy and I had a little secret that we were so desperate to share. The anticipation was fucking killing us, to tell yea the truth.

Trying to keep Edward from spilling the beans was way harder than I expected. The boy was intolerable! He was driving me fucking crazy at times - really making me rethink my decision. Well not really! But I needed to threaten him from time to time with taking the fucking ring back if he didn't calm the hell down.

So as I drove, he bounced, playing with the radio and changing CD's every fucking five minutes, reaching in the back for bottled water or smacks, turning the air down-turning the air up-turning the air off, opening the windows-closing the windows, adjusting his seat over and over again.

Before I had to pull the fucking car over and kill him where he stood, I imagined burying his fucking body at the side of the road somewhere that it would take maybe four police departments and a shit load of cadaver dog's just to find his sorry ass, smirking devilishly to myself with the knowledge that Charlie fucking Swan, Chief of Police for Forks would never cut it for this big ass job.

But imagining life with out him in it was way too overwhelming. So instead, I just took a long deep breath, regaining control and letting myself calm. I tenderly reach across the armrest and place my hand over his.

He twists his hand palm up, enabling him to entwine his fingers with mine. Then after a few seconds of staring at our clasped hands, he returns his gaze to me, and oh my gravy, it's filled with so much love, lust and wonder. There's no way I could ever leave him on the side of the road, letting the cadaver dogs have their way with his beautiful ass. So after some thought, I decided to change my mind and not to kill him. Maybe I'll keep him a little longer.

After the initial shock of wanting to cause my beautiful boy bodily harm wore off, we made it home in record time. First we dropped our stuff at the house, unpacking the few things we had and placing the boxes we had brought in the spare room. We headed out to see the families. The Cullens had invited my mama, Rose and Emmett over to join us for dinner. Alice and her new husband Riley would be joining us for dessert.

After the dinner and dessert dishes had been cleared away, we all sat around drinking wine and beer while making small talk - all the usual questions: How were the last few months of school going? Did Edward's transfer go without too much drama? Had I heard anything regarding the loan I had applied for to purchase a vacant building in town, and had I spoken to the contractors? Seeing as Emmett was going to manage the contractors - that being his expertise - I diverted all those questions in his direction. He beamed from ear to ear at finally being able to be the center of attention. Rose looked on proudly as he answered everyone's questions and concerns excitedly but professionally.

But before things slowed down too much, and everyone got too tired or bored and decided to leave, I glanced over at Edward, wanting his OK - wanting him to want this. As he returned my stare with a little nervousness, but a whole lot of God damn love and affection, I knew we could do it. Edward had wanted me to come up with the ploy to break the news, informing me that after my elaborate marriage proposal, anything from here on in that had to entail the imagination was all on me. So I took him up on his challenge and racked my brain for over a week, trying to come up with a way to make this just as memorable.

Leaving the table for a second, I return with a handful of envelopes, bending down softly, asking Edward to join me at the head of the table as our families continued to talk in whispers around us. Then clearing my throat, everyone looks in our direction in confusion. Once I got their attention, I smiled at each of them lovingly before turning to Edward and placing a chaste kiss on his soft lips. He looks over at me with moistened, wondrous eyes, all glassy and sparkling, holding my world and heart in his stare. We were pulled out of our musing when Mr.C. cleared his throat. We both brought our attention back to the table, grinning like idiots.

As Edward stood frozen at the head of the table, I ran around, placing an envelope in front of each of our family members, then rejoined Edward, wrapping my arm around his waist as he did mine. Everyone looked at us bewildered and confused as I motioned for them to open the envelopes and read, which they all did as they glanced between each other and us expectantly,

Edward and I watch in awe and glee, as they all proceeded to read over their very own copies of the papers. I watch their eyes as they scan the pages, reading then re-reading, trying to decipher the information written upon them. When they are finally done, they stare at each other first with confusion, then over at Edward and me dumbfounded.

Carlisle speaks first, an excited sparkle in his eyes, letting me know that he thinks he knows what's going on.  
"Jasper? Edward? these are change of name papers! Is someone legally changing their name?"

And at that, I hear both our moms gasp. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mama place a hand on her chest, and I swear I heard Alice let out a small squeak as she bounced on her chair happily, Riley looking at her likes she'd just gone mad. Then Rose reads out loud, "Jasper Hale-Cullen? Edward Hale-Cullen?"

Emmett answers her with a confused "Huh?" Esme then questions us suspiciously. "So what does this mean, boys, you're changing your names?" Carlisle steps in, raising an eyebrow. "From now on you want to be known as Edward and Jasper Hale-Cullen?"

Edward finally speaks up as he sinks his blunt nails into my hip in the process.

"Well, not right now, but maybe sometime in May or June we would appreciate it!"

As Mama still holds her chest, she breathlessly asks " Why May or June, Edward? What's happening then?"

And after looking at each other one last time, we say in unison, "Cause we're getting married!"

And with that, the clusterfuck begins. Everyone's screaming, yelling, kissing and hugging. Our moms are crying while the guys shake our hands and pat our backs. Carlisle returns from the kitchen with a freshly opened expensive bottle of wine, informing us that he was saving it for Christmas dinner, but that this was way more important, and we needed to celebrate.

So as I said earlier, Alice was a force to be reckoned with, being the fashion and planning connoisseur that she was. The little pixie was like a whirlwind, getting all the plans in motion. Between her, Rose and our mothers, all Edward and I could do was nod and smile, nod and smile, doing our best to agree with most of it; but putting our foot down when it would get out of hand. And with all these women involved, out of hand happens a lot.

Carlisle took care of the service, requesting the help of one of his old co-workers and a long time family friend, who also happened to be Edward's Godmother, a lady by the name of Mel Reeves. I've been lucky enough to be in this lady's company more than a few times over the years, and she always seemed very entertaining, open minded and interesting. Edward and I would sit and listen to her views on mankind, relationships and religion - or the lack thereof for hours. She was like a breath of fresh air when the world around you seemed like nothing but confusing, especially to two teenage boys trying to find out where the hell they fit into the whole scheme of things. And looking back over the years, I think that's why Carlisle kept her around so much - he knew we would listen to her wise words and benefit from her knowledge. So having her oversee the service seemed like a wonderful idea to us.

The ceremony itself would be held in the Cullens' backyard, under the canopy of the trees, among the fragrance of the roses, with the sound of the babbling creek for a backdrop. It would be perfect.

Emmett spent hours constructing a dance floor under the stars. His crew worked diligently, sometimes into the wee hours, doing their best to make everything right. A tent was set up and a bar was built in the far corner of the yard to house the food drink and tables for those not wanting to eat under the elements, and just in-case, and God forbid, it rained.

And fuck! Don't get me started on the food. Edward and I would have been happy with a fucking barbecue. But Alice just turned her nose up in the air with disgust, telling us that we knew nothing about entertaining and weddings, and to just butt the hell out, so we did. We did get to go cake shopping one weekend. Oh Joy! And after a little hair pulling and nail biting, we got to make our choice half chocolate half vanilla, and whatever fucking covering or frosting or icing or what the fuck ever its called on top. That ended up being Alice's choice, cause as we all know, it was Alice's fucking wedding.

We asked our sisters to be our witnesses, opting out of the usual best man thing, and knowing our mothers would be way too caught up in the craziness of the day and their emotions to handle the task at hand. So with that, Alice informed us that we had to go suit shopping, so that she and Rose would be able to pick the color and style of their dresses. Needless to say, she nearly had a fucking nervous breakdown when we told her we weren't wearing suits. Well, it was more like a shit fit. Yeah! I would say it was a shit fit, cause we all know by now it was Alice's fucking wedding.

We wanted to wear black pants, matching vests and white shirts, Edward demanding I wear my cowboy boots - and as we all know, I could never say no to my boy. What my boy wants, my boy gets! So the cowboy boots were in. Alice pleaded with us to let her at least pick the shirts, groveling from time to time. I even heard her beg once, so we let her. White with a hint of blue for me. And white with a hint of green for Edward. When we questioned her regarding the hint of fucking whatever, she just looked at us in disgust, cussing and screaming about us having a nerve to call ourselves gay men. The woman's weird, I tell ya! Weird.

And now it's finally the big day, Edward and I having slept the night before in our own old beds in our own old family homes, our mothers wanting there to be at least a little bit of tradition, and who were we to deny them that. That's not saying I didn't take my boy out to the backyard the night before, behind the newly constructed tent, and suck him so hard and dry that I had to help him back into the house on a pair of wobbly legs, making Carlisle eye us questioningly with eyebrows raised as we entered. As I looked at him sheepishly and flushed, I informed him the best I could under the circumstances: "Just making sure everything was in order for the morning, Mr. C." His only reply to that was, "Yeah, right, Jasper. See you in the morning. Goodnight, son"

And now the morning is here. It's quite a warm day – well for Forks standards anyway. At least it was fucking dry and the birds were chirping. Well, maybe that's just in my head, but it sounds nice. And butter my butt and call me biscuit, I'm so fucking nervous and excited, my belly keeps flipping and flopping and my hands are sweaty. I can't believe we finally made it. I can't believe we're finally here. After all these years we're finally becoming husbands.

So as I finally stand in the Cullen's dining room, just inside the French doors to the back deck, waiting for Rose to stand by me, knowing that Edward was in the living-room standing by another set of French doors, our only separation being the wall, him waiting to exit in the same way, and probably waiting for Alice to stand by him also.

I started to calm. My breathing became even and my heart grew full. I looked out over the yard to people talking and fussing, as guitar music played under the watchful eye of Mel. I watch Riley walk Mrs. C. to her seat, then Emmett leading Mama by the arm down to hers. I look on as people lean in or walk up to them both, offering congrats and best wishes.

I feel a tug on my arm, and I turn to stare down on the beautiful face of my wonderful sister, her eyes already damp and her cheeks flushed. Standing back, I admire her dress. It's a beautiful blue, complemented with a sapphire blue sash wrapped around her tiny waist as she stands holding one single Lily entwined with a blue ribbon. She looks all kinds of stunning.

She reaches up and hugs me, kissing me gently on the cheek. "You look so handsome, Jasper. The pants and vests look wonderful, and the shirt really makes your eyes pop!" And I have to agree. The shirt seems white at first, but when I move or the light changes, shades of blue dance with the movement of the material, and yes, I did notice how they made my eyes look. I guess Alice is a genius, but I'm not sure if I'm going to let her know that. Well at least not today, cause this is my fucking wedding.

And then my breath hitches as Rose turns me slowly to face the doors. The music has started. The song to which I will walk to my destiny has finally begun, and it's time for us to get this show on the road.

Mel starts to sing, with the guitar player matching the soft tones of her voice. Edward and I have loved this song for years, but never thought we could ever use it in our ceremony. But Mel assured us that cause she would be singing it for us, she was going to take liberties and change it up a little, so as Chris de Burgh's soulful song 'Where Peaceful Waters Flow' rings out, the French doors open, and I take my first step.

Restless hearts, it has been a long time,  
Out here on the journey, for a glimpse of paradise,  
It's getting hard to find a place to go,  
Where peaceful waters flow.

As my foot hits the deck, I look to my right, and oh my God, there's my boy. His long sexy legs are wrapped in straight black pants. Then a black fitted vest and a beautiful white shirt with a hint of fucking green. And when he makes eye contact with me, his eyes dance, cause his forest greens are now finally out to play. Shit, Alice really is a genius!

I took a walk past the old saxon well,  
Down by the cathedral, I heard the chapel bell,  
And joined the people singing for a way to go,  
Where peaceful waters flow.

As we take the few steps and make our descent onto the grass, I glance over at Alice. She is looking radiant with her pale green dress and beautiful forest green sash around her small. slim waist. She glances over and gives me a gentle wave with her single Lily entwined with a green ribbon.

And if you don't know by now, you never will,  
Only love can find the door,  
If you could see it now, it's in your hands,  
Only love can reach the shore, to heaven.

Edward and Alice walk up one aisle off to the side of our friends and family, as Rose and I walk up the other. And when we reach the front, all four of us kiss our parents and each other's, before returning our attention to Mel as she stands patiently waiting, still singing in her soft beautiful tones. Rose moves off to the side of me, as Alice moves off to the side of Edward, and finally I'm able to stand face to face with the man I love, taking his shaking hands in mine as I hear the only words that make any sense at this moment.

Always, he is standing by my side,  
He's my inspiration, and he's my battle cry,  
And in his arms is the only place I know,  
Where peaceful waters flow.

Edward stands before me all flushed and beaming, his white smile and sparkling eyes dazzling me. The boy is gorgeous and amazing, and in a few short moments, he'll be mine and only mine forever. As he stares at me, eyes moist and full of love, I take the opportunity to mouth the words "I love you, babe!" as he replies in kind with the most amazing smile. "Love you too, honey!"

And if you don't know by now, you never will,  
Only love can find the door,  
If you could see it now, it's in your hands,  
Only love can reach the shore, forevermore,  
Where peaceful waters flow...

And with that, Edward and I turn our attention to Mel, thanking her with our eyes and smiles as she nods at us in understanding.

Then the ceremony begins as Mel addresses the crowd.

"Friends and family, we are gathered here to witness as Edward and Jasper join together as a wedded couple. We are here to show our love, support and understanding for this young couple, as we all know being married or in a committed relationship takes a lot of hard work and patience. But as I look around at the friends and family this young couple has gathered around them, I know deep down that they will make it.

"I know there are some people that think this union is controversial just because it's two men. But I'm here to inform Edward and Jasper that love knows no boundaries, and our hearts have no eyes, but they know what they feels and know when they're loved!

"So as I stand here and witness with the rest of your family and friends, the love you both show for each other, and have for all these years, I can do nothing but wish you both the best.

"I would like to take this opportunity to call Emmett McCarty to the front."

Edward and I stare at each other in bewilderment, both looking all kinds of confused. I don't remember Emmett asking to say anything, or even wanting to. I didn't know he even gave a fuck, to tell you the truth. But as we look around, we watch the smiling, flushed Emmett take his place by Mel in front of us.

He wipes his brow and straightens his tie before he starts to speak timidly. Yeah, you heard me. Timidly. I didn't know the guy know how to do that. He stares at Rose, who replies by smiling proudly at him, then returns his gaze to us, smiling widely as he winks before continuing.

"Hey, guys" He smiles and wipes his brow again. Edward and I look at each other excitedly, but we're both a little God damn nervous - God only knows what's going to come out of the boy's mouth - before turning back to Emmett and whispering softly, "Hi Emmett?"

Then he address the crowd: "I'm sorry to bother everyone, and I won't keep you long. I know you all want to get to the most important part of the day - the eating and the drinking!" The crowd laughs! "But I just wanted to say a few words to my bros - I mean Edward and Jasper." He looks at us sheepishly, then continues. "I've known both for a very long time, and I love them like brothers. And I once read this passage in high school that always reminded me of them. It somewhat goes with what Mel is talking about, something to do with love having no boundaries, so I just wanted a chance to share it with them. It's short and sweet, so don't all panic!"

Then he clears his throat, and in a soft, deep voice, he continue's:

"To Be one with Each Other by George Eliot.

What greater thing is there for two human souls  
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labor  
to minister to each other in all sorrow,  
to share with each other in all gladness,  
to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories."

And with that, he looks at us, full of love and pride. His heavy huge chest exhales deeply as he gives us the most amazing wide smile, and this time, he wipes a tear from his eye, forgetting about his sweaty brow.

Edward and I wrap an arm around him and hug him tightly to us, overwhelmed by the big gorilla's thoughtfulness, and with emotion-filled eyes and labored breath we thank him.

Mel stands front and center once more as Emmett takes his seat, and everyone gets the opportunity to wipe their own tears as she addresses them once more.

"Edward and Jasper have written their own vows, so as I stand back and witness with you, I ask that Edward now take his time and reveal to Jasper his own loving thoughts."

As I watch my boy, his chest heaves as his hands tighten in mine. His eyes flutter closed for one small second before he opens them. His forest greens reach in and captivate me, engulf me and over take me before he starts to speak his soft, strong and honest words.

"I, Edward Cullen, take you, Jasper Hale, to be my wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my one and only love from this day forward."

He swallows hard before continuing.

"Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more with you each and every day."

I reach over and tenderly wipe away a tear that has found its way under his lashes as he breathes deeply.

"So in the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful husband, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, also promising to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."

I start to shake a little as Edward nods in my direction, informing me that it's now my turn. So taking a huge, deep breath into my lungs and coughing a little to clear my throat, I continue as Edward tenderly rubs my knuckles.

"I, Jasper Hale, Take you, Edward Cullen, to be my husband, my partner in life and my one and only true love."

I swallowing hard, letting my eyes close momentarily before proceeding.

"I promise to cherish our union, and love you more with each day than I did the day before. I will trust and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you and only you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together."

Edward reaches over, wiping a curl from my face, his eye's full of love and pride as his bottom lip quivers slightly.

"I give you my hand, my heart, and my love. And in the presence of our family and friends, I take you Edward to be my husband, promising with all that I am to be unto you a loving and faithful husband so long as we both shall live."

Then nodding to Mel as she replies in kind, we both take each other in our arms, leaning in, placing our foreheads on the other's. We say the part of the ceremony that we have both rehearsed together.

"You will never have to beseech me not to leave you, or beg me to return when I follow after.  
For where you go, I will go.  
Where you stay, I will stay.  
Your family, will be my family.  
Your friends, will be my friends.  
And where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.  
And may nothing more than death ever part you from me."

Then I reach over and kiss Edward's forehead as he does mine, us both wiping away tears and refilling our lungs with well needed air. Then we turn to Mel one last time, letting her take the reins and make this finally official.

She hands us our wedding rings, both single small platinum bands picked by Edward, with the word's 'The Best Part Of Me Was Always You' engraved upon them. We Slip them attentively onto each other's nervous fingers, alongside our engagement rings, them both being finally joined making one solid connection.

And with that, Mel continues.

"Edward and Jasper, do you both promise in the presence of your families and friends that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as a loving husband would a loving husband?"

Edward and I both yell out, a little too eagerly, making everyone laugh. "We do!" both of us blushing.

"Edward and Jasper, do you both and in the presence of your families and friends promise to love, cherish and respect one another throughout the days months and years to follow? Forsaking all others, and to only seek solace in each other? And once again in unison, we say happily. "We do."

"Then with the power vested in me and with the witness of family and friends, I declare you Partners, lovers, friends, and husbands from this day forth."

Stretching out her arms, she happily says, "Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, I would like to present to you for the first time:

"Mr Jasper and Edward Hale-Cullen."

And with that, everyone cheers and claps, and I swear, out the corner of my eye, I see Emmett fist pumping the air chanting loudly, "HOO HOO HOO HOO." Edward and I chuckle to ourselves; it's nice to see the old Emmett back.

And now the party begins!

The day is beautiful. People keep us busy with questions and stories, taking pictures of us both with each other or family members. To say our heads are spinning is an understatement.

Our mothers cried as they fussed, cried as they ate, cried as they spoke, smiling all the while.

Then we were pulled aside and told it was time for our first dance as husbands, making me a little fucking nervous. This was Edward's expertise - I just follow what he does. But before the music starts, we hear the clinking of a glass getting our attention, and look up to see Carlisle watching us with nothing but pride.

He cleared his throat before continuing. With moist eyes, he addresses the gathering:

"I just want to thank everyone for coming and joining us today in support of Jasper and Edward's marriage and commitment. And before my wonderful SON'S take the floor," Edward tightens the hold on my hand as I do his, "I'd like to say a few words. Nothing big, just something my father said to Esme and me on our wedding day!"

He raises his glass, motioning for everyone to do the same, then proceeds:

"Always remember to forget  
The things that made you sad  
But never forget to remember  
The things that made you glad

Always remember to forget  
The friends that proved untrue  
But never forget to remember  
Those that have stuck by you

Always remember to forget  
The troubles that passed away  
But never forget to remember  
The blessings you have today."

And once again, the crowd is in an uproar, cheering and clapping as Edward leans in, placing a soft kiss on my lips, telling me how much he loves me as I tell him the same.

Then the music begins, and I take my husband out to the middle of the dance floor.

The soft voice of Ronan Keating rings out as he sings 'When you say nothing at all.'

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark  
Try as I may I could never explain  
What I hear.. when you don't say a thing

I hold Edward tighter to me, feeling him breathe deeply as his fingers play with the hair at the nape of my neck. He softly sings into my ear:

"The smile on your face, lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand, says you'll catch me whenever I fall  
You say it best...When you say nothing at all"

Leaning back, we gaze at each other with soft damp eyes. He once again reaches for my curl, swiping it to the side, tucking it behind my ear. As my eyes flutter closed, I whisper softly, "I love you, Edward Hale-Cullen!" and as he tenderly kisses my lips, he replies, "As I do you, Jasper Hale-Cullen!" Then he continues to sing:

"All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd  
Try as they may they can never define  
What's been said between your heart and mine."

And when the last part of the song rings out, I join him in song. I suck his earlobe between my lips, biting it tenderly.

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand, says you'll catch me whenever I fall  
You say it best...When you say nothing at all"

So as I lay here in our sun-drenched room, I'm taking out of my musing by Edward stirring beside me. Looking down, I'm greeted with his sparkling eyes and awesome handsome smile. And all I can do is return it tenfold.

His sleepy voice whispers into the hot morning air, "Good morning, Mr. Jasper Hale-Cullen," and I smile.

Bending down, kissing the top of his fucked up red hair, I reply happily, "Good morning, Mr. Edward Hale-Cullen.


	19. Still Lost But Still Hopeful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are back to the main story people. And its not an easy step to take. The boys will have to struggle a little before they can totally get over the fucked up incident with Alec Volturi. So please bear with this...And I'm sorry if I piss anyone off...A few may not be happy when all is said and done...
> 
> So now go read and stop worrying...'Remember Jasper's got this.'
> 
> so lets go find out what Jasper Hale-Cullen and Edward Hale-Cullen have been up too:

I watch him sleep, cautiously and protectively from my perch in the chair off to the side of our bed. He's sleeping somewhat soundly - well for now anyways. As I eye him attentively, my heart breaks a little more with each breath he takes, just wanting to wrap him up in me and never let him go, wanting nothing more than to steal his nightmares and claim his fears.

But he won't let me touch him in his sleep. He won't let me comfort him in his sleep. He won't let me near him in his sleep.

His pale and now lightly bruised skin seems luminous as it shines under the filtered light from the dim street lamp outside our window. His brow is furrowed deeply and his eyes flutter from time to time as they play under his lids, indicating that though he may be sleeping, a peaceful and deep slumber, it is not. Then there's his glorious fucked up hair, all sweaty and sticky, fanned out and over the pillow that supports his heavily burdened head.

And even in his fucked up, heavily depressed,overly tired,heart breaking state, my boy is still downright beautiful.

It's been a month since the so-called "incident!" Fuck! I hate that word. And I don't think my boy's had a restful night sleep since. He tosses and turns, whimpering and crying softly to himself. Other times, hes scratching and clawing, kicking and screaming, most of the time waking me as he pushes me or whatever away, trying to fend me or whatever off him, trying to get away from me or whatever, yelling for me or whatever not to touch or come near him.

So most nights after having to desperately persuade him to come to bed and wait patiently for him to fall asleep, I brokenheartedly retreat to my perch and distressingly keep vigilance.

He always wakes uneasy,restless, on edge and angry. He does his best to overcome it and disguise his emotions. But he sometimes forgets who the hell he's dealing with, and that I've known him longer than he's even known himself.

God knows I've tried my best over these last few weeks to ease his pain, diminish his fear, and calm his weary broken heart. But he won't talk to me, and he pretends there's nothing wrong. He wont open up and let me help, and that scares me, because we've never held anything back from each other before. So I'm pissed cause everything I seem to do is fruitless. He pretends it's working, giving me a small smile and a tender kiss on the cheek from time to time, but nothing more. Nothing intimate. Our shower at the hospital and our sleep in his hospital bed that night was the last time I really got to feel my boy relaxed and close to my skin.

He has taken a leave of absence from work - well really Seth insisted upon it, saying it was necessary to his recovery and stating that he needed time. And as Edward yelled and cussed, Seth pleaded and begged, telling him it would be just a few weeks - or at the most, months - to relax and regroup. So after some time with them going back and forth, Edward submitted, and Seth released a deep sigh of relief.

I, on the other hand, was able to leave the pub in the trustworthy hands of Ben, just having to check in from time to time, maybe for an hour in person, or at the most a few phone calls a day. Now that I had given him his long awaited and well deserved substantial raise, I know he'll do everything possible and in his power to take care of my investment. Not that it wasn't going to happen sooner or later, I expected I would be counting and depending on him more when the babies come, knowing I would want to spend more time at home with my family. But Ben has always made it easy on me, picking up the slack and stepping up to the plate, and for that I will be forever grateful.

I watch Edward sleep wearily, and my heart hurts and breaks for him. The un-comfortableness that has settled in me scares me to death. I feel useless and worthless, unable to soothe my poor boy's soul, no matter how hard I try. I know he has a fear of the unknown. He keeps looking over his shoulder every chance he gets. When there's a knock or the doorbell rings, the boy nearly jumps out of his God damn skin. And when I hear the name Alec terrifyingly leave his beautiful lips in his sleep, I want to kill dead things! I want to rip things apart with my bare hands! I want to wish death on another human being.

But I know and have known that no matter what, that won't solve shit!

Don't get me wrong, Alec was taken care of in a way - well in Emmett's and my way. After getting Edward home from the hospital and putting his heavily drugged ass to bed, leaving him under the watchful eyes of our mothers, them both wanting to take care of him and show him some love and attention. Emmett and I paid a long awaited and overdue visit to one Doctor fucking Alec Volturi.

I rode shotgun as Emmett, knee bouncing, hands tapping the steering wheel eagerly, drove us to said doctor's apartment. I remember smelling the stench as I entered, repressing the need to laugh out loud at the thought that now Volturi was trapped in his own fucking hell hole, hoping and praying that he at least felt half the pain and despair he made my boy feel.

As I rounded the corner to the living room, I raised a questioning eyebrow at Emmett, and he just returned it with a shrug of his shoulders and a quick "Whatever." I placed myself in front of Alec as he sat in his own filth and sweat, slumped in a high back dining room chair. His head and shoulders hung heavily, nearly hitting his knees. I'm sure if we released his bindings, his weight would voluntarily roll him to the floor.

I eye him hatefully and with the utmost disgust, as he sits all slumped, shaking and naked. Yep! You heard me right - naked! Don't ask. For some reason, Emmett found it appropriate. I guess he felt the need to make Alec feel as helpless and degraded as he had made Edward, and to tell you the truth, I thought it was genius. The guy's a God.

Holding back the bile as I gag uncontrollably at his smell and appearance, I sink to my knees, grabbing him by the back of the head, pulling on his dirty hair, yanking it back roughly, as he groans deep in his throat. His eyes open slowly as a look of shock and fear show in his dead orbs, as I smile widely and evilly upon his face.

Yeah, Fucker! Be afraid. Be very fucking afraid!'

Rising to my full height, but still hanging on tightly to Volturi's hair, I use my entire body weight, and with full force, I draw my fist across his already broken face, not enabling it to bounce. As I grip tighter to his locks, pulling back again, I swing for the fences. Hearing the cracking and the sound of the slapping echo off the apartment walls.

I'm caught in a trance,wanting nothing more than to inflict harm on this monster, this freak, this asshole. As the animal in me takes over, I let loose, not giving him or his body a chance to react. Pulling on his hair, scratching at his skin and punching on whatever my fists can come in contact with. Then suddenly Emmett pulls me back, his voice hushed and low. "Easy Trigger! We want him to be able to drive his sorry ass out of town now! Don't we?"

And as I stand back catching my breath, my hands on my knees, my breath labored and heavy, I watch Emmett untie him roughly, pulling him to his shaky feet.

Ordering him to put some fucking clothes on, Emmett lets him know that if he had to look at his ugly, disgusting ass for one second longer, he just might be physically ill.

Volturi didn't say a fucking word or make a sound, and did his best not to make eye contact with either of us.

Emmett scornfully and harshly warned him that he'd messed with the wrong fucking family, and him laying his sorry eyes and dirty hands on Edward Hale-Cullen was like signing his own death warrant, and that he was God damn fucking lucky he wasn't dead.

Volturi dressed slowly, small grunts and groans releasing from his chest every so often, but as he struggled, Emmett and I did nothing but look on. Each time he fell, he had to pick himself up. Each time he stumbled, he had to reach and catch himself. And when he was done he just stood defeated with his arms by his side and his head hung low.

Emmett ordered him to the table, on which lay two neatly typed letters. Volturi picked them up to read them through swollen, squinted eyes. But Emmett snatched them from his hands roughly, informing him that the contents were none of his fucking business. All he needed to do was sign on the dotted line.

As we handed him his bag, jacket and car keys, he eyed us suspiciously. Emmett stepped up to him, in his face, and I watch as he bends slightly to look at Volturi.

The good old doctor did nothing but stare at Emmett's heaving chest, his own body shaking violently with the fear of the unknown.

Then Emmett said sternly and with conviction, "Your letter of resignation will be dropped off at the hospital today. You suddenly have a family emergency to attend to." Then reaching out, he grabs Volturi by the collar of his jacket before spinning him on his heels to face me.

And as I step up and stare at him with daggers in my eyes, I continue where Emmett left off, literally spitting in his fucking face. "As for the second letter. Well that, Fucker, that's your confession to the kidnapping, assault, and attempted rape of one Doctor Edward Hale-Cullen."

Volturi looked sharply between Emmett and me, his eyes wide and worried, fear tattooed on his frown brow.

"But don't worry just yet, fucker! Cause that card, we're holding close to our chests. Just in case your sorry ass decides to pay our sleepy little town or my God damn family a visit ever again." Emmett stepped away, releasing Volturi from his hold. And with that, Volturi turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

Emmett and I stood and stared. Then looking at Emmett in relief, I informed him that it was time to get home to my boy, and as he agreed with a smile. He wrapped his strong arm over my shoulder, pulling me in for a side hug. With a playful wink he asked me shyly, "ANY COLD BEERS AT HOME, DUDE! I COULD USE ONE!" It made me chuckle as I slapped his arm. "Emmett, you're such a douche sometimes! I'm a fucking bar owner! Why wouldn't I have a cold beer in my fridge?" And with that, we both exited the apartment laughing. And it hadn't gone unnoticed that the fucker had done his job and done it well. The tension and anxiousness were gone. And it's because the guy's a God.

I'm taken out of my musing when Edward stirs. He's restless - twisting and turning, small moans and groans dropping from his lips. His brow furrows in anguish, and it breaks my heart. I need to fix this; I need to make this right. That's what I do - that's my job. And I'm racking my brain to figure a way out of all this shit. Cause it will break my heart if I can't or if I don't.

Jumping from the chair swiftly, I head for the closet, grabbing my duffle bag off the top shelf. I start to empty drawers - a few t-shirts, a couple of pairs of jeans, some socks and underwear. Rolling them all army style, I'm able to fit toiletries and a few odds and ends. Zipping it closed, I give Edward's sleeping form one final glance before heading for our office. I'm sure what I need can be found somewhere on the web.

And as I listen to my broken heart pound frantically in my weary chest, my ears hum from the tension. I eagerly set to work searching and browsing, the clicking of the keys and drumming of my heart being the only sounds to echo throughout the office walls. I pull up road maps and investigate accommodations, hoping my idea will work, clinging to the fact that maybe the space will do us good, give us both time to think, give us both time to put things back in order. And maybe, when all is said and done, we will know what to do and where to go from here. So as I print the pages, I map out my route, circle my stops, calculate my time... Then sighing deeply, I shove my findings into the pocket of my duffle.

I'm in the kitchen when I hear him enter, his heavy sigh letting me know his weary emotions are now securely under lock and key. I turn slowly, giving him the chance to compose himself. Placing a fake small smile on my face, I turn and gaze upon my bare-chested, barefoot, jean-clad beautiful boy. Shit! He looks so tired and unhappy, but still outright fucking sexy as all hell. My chest heaves, cause the thought that I might never see his glorious sparkling smile again tears yet another slice through my weakened heart.

"Hey, sweetness." I lean over, placing a tender kiss on his forehead.

He whispers softly and unsurely, "Hey, yourself," as he presses his flushed face harder in my direction. His body shudders under my touch, and I feel him melt a little into my moist lips. My brows rise, cause this is new. This is the closest he has tried to get, making me a little confused and overwhelmed, but hoping for the best. I take it one step further, wrapping my arm attentively around his waist, pulling him to me, flabbergasted as I feel him sink into my touch.

His hands glide lazily up under my t-shirt. I feel them shake and tremble as he follows the contours of my back with his fingertips. Once reaching my shoulders, he steps back. His eyes are dark and damp. His lips part as small breaths pant out to join the air around us. He gently tugs my t-shirt up and off, as we now stand bare chested - him in his jeans, me in sweats. He wraps his arms tightly around my neck, his fingers pulling on my hair, fingering my curls in passing.

I inhale deeply, and sigh low and hard as my chest tightens, remembering the first few weeks as the black and white pictures flicker brightly behind my heavy lids. It took a while, but my boy has regained his own scent and flavor back. His skin, once raw and ripe from the dirt and stench, has been washed and nearly bleached in hopes of removing his nightmare. It took some time to wash and scrub the remnants of his basement cell from his skin, but relentless in his task, Edward spent every waking moment for days under the scalding water of our shower wearisomely scrubbing and rinsing, and when he was done, he would repeat and rinse once more.

As my arms fold around him, I feel as he pulls his weight up and into my arms. Fuck! Please let this mean what I think it means. It's been way too fucking long. Way to fucking long. He tightly wraps his legs around my waist, all the time kissing and sucking on my lips. Our chests are heavy and heaving as my name for the first time in weeks leaves his lips in a soft hushed whimper. My hands cup his butt as my blunt nails nervously dig and scratch his jean-clad ass. He's rolling onto me, bucking hard. I feel him shudder and shake with each movement he makes.

I take this opportunity to walk us to the living room as I gasp into his neck "Fuck! Edward... Please! Edward... I've missed you so bad, sweetie... I've missed us... Oh God, sweetness!" His lips are everywhere: my neck, my cheeks, my ears. His chest's heaving heavy and strong. My name drops repeatedly from his moist lips, his hands grabbing and pulling while his fingers dig and scratch at my skin. The back of my legs hit the couch as my butt hits the cushions. My hands claw at his back. My sweaty palms slide easily over his roped muscles as he straddles me.

He's grinding and bucking frantically, his hushed, velvet voice whispering his desire, "Fuck, Jasper. I've missed you. I love you, baby." My lean fingers sneak into the waistband of his jeans, feeling his warm, supple flesh bend willingly to my touch as he grinds hard into my length.

His hold on me is strong and powerful. When I try to pull away, he jerks me back into him like he's trying to make us one, like he's trying to climb under my skin. His hands are eager, his kisses desperate. As I pull him into me, he pushes harder down as our engorged cocks rub deliciously in the most fascinating and overwhelming way. And because it's been so long since I've even got to make it this far, I can't think. I can't stay in the moment. Everything is spinning and reeling out of control. His fingers are in my hair. Tugging and dragging our lips, sucking and biting, the struggle for dominance engulfs us, overpowering us. The air around us is heavy and thick, dense and impenetrable. Our weighted breaths dampen and moisten our tingling skin. Sweat trickles like raindrops around and along each tense and burdened muscle.

Rolling him on his back, I release myself from his hold. My heavy, hooded eyes stare lustfully into his dark orbs as I watch him come undone. Chest heaving, abs contracting, wet hot breath gushes astonishingly from his wet lips. Nervously and anxiously, my shaky fingers play with the button of his jeans, wanting them gone, wanting him free. As I tug them loose, throwing them to the ground, his long, lean limbs fall, needing and desperate, off to the side. I take this opportunity to slide between them, my sweatpant-clad cock pressing urgently and severely down against his naked tight ass, wanting friction and release. As I roll and sway, he groans and moans, deep and heavy in his pounding chest.

And as suddenly as it started, it's over. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! God damn! Shit! And did I already say FUCK?

His hands are on my chest as he gingerly pushes me away, his eyes lowered unable to make contact with mine. And all I can do is stare in confusion and hurt. Fuck! Just Fuck this all to hell right now! And I'm unable to hold back my questioning whisper, hoping to all God that he understands and explains. "Edward?"

Once again, he's unable to meet my eyes, and it kills me cause he God damn knows how much I hate and loathe people who are unable to make eye contact, deeming them unworthy and distrustful in my eyes. I inhale a deep breath and repeat my question. "Edward?"

And as his sad, frightened, shy eyes meet mine, he tells me without a fucking word. He can't do this with me! He can't go there with me! It doesn't feel right to him! He's unsure of himself, and of my feelings regarding this whole God damn messed up fuckery.

As I stand on shaky, trembling legs, I straighten myself the best I can. My nervous hands and lean fingers run roughly through my dampened hair. My teeth grind as I tug angrily on my curls. My eyes fall sadly on my panting, weeping boy.

The chest that once heaved with lust is now expanding under his hate and anger at his own self.

Regaining my composure and praying to all that will listen, I kneel between his trembling thighs, rubbing circles on his smooth, soft skin, trying my best to ease his pain as I watch silent tears fall from his deep forest greens.

Bending to the side, I pick up his discarded jeans. I fold them and place them in his loose, shaking hands. As I lean in, I feel him tense, and my own heart freezes.

I tenderly kiss his dampened forehead, pulling back, running my fingers gently through his sweaty fucked up red hair. I sigh deeply, calming myself before I continue. "Edward, I have to finish up in the kitchen. ,Go take a shower and dress, and hopefully when you're done, we can sit and talk."

I watch as he leaves the room, his shoulders slumped, his head hung low. My heart breaks for him as my body yearns for him with every beat and breath. And at this moment, I'm feeling lost and defeated. My heart, mind and soul are heavy with the grief of losing my love, my one and only, the best part of me. And as I suck air deeply into my straining lungs, I thank God that Volturi has left town, cause if I ever get to cross his fucking path again, I'll fucking finish the job I had started. And even gorilla Emmett wouldn't be able to get me the fuck off him.

They'd have to bring the jaws of life - I tell ya, the fucking jaws of life! - to pry me off his fucking dead ass body as I pull him limb from limb before burning his God damn corpse. Then they'd have to use the big ass firefighters to stop me from dancing around the fucking flames so that they could put them out. It's my fantasy. I'm just saying let me be.

Returning to the kitchen, I set to work finishing what I had started before Edward sent me on my tail spin. I packed some drinks in a cooler - enough to get by on, I can always stop along the way if needed - placing it alongside the food I had prepared from earlier. If I didn't feel in my heart that we needed the space before my tail spin, I knew it now.

Hearing his shower coming to an end, and knowing it wouldn't be long before he came down, I frantically worked, rushing to get my plan in motion. Softly opening the front door, I pack my bike, tying all that I will need down to the back. When I'm satisfied that the cooler and my duffle won't be going anywhere, I grab my cell phone and proceed to make a few calls.

As if on a timer, and just having placed his breakfast and coffee on the table, and after placing my phone back in my pocket, he enters the kitchen. He eyes me warily, and all I can do in return is to present him with a small smile. As he approaches me, I tenderly wrap my arm around his slim waist, pulling him a little tighter to my side, needing to feel his heat and softness. As I feel him freeze, I tense nervously. My skin crawls as overanxious goose bumps curtain my entire body.

Kissing the top of his head and breathing him in deeply, I pull back and smile wearily as I whisper softly, "Sweetness, sit and eat your breakfast, and enjoy your coffee. I need a quick shower and change of clothes. When I'm done, maybe we can take a few minutes aside and talk for a little. Is that OK with you? Will you be able to do that for me?"

He nods gently into my shoulder as I feel him take a long, shaky breath. Kissing him once more, I leave him to his food.

As I'm showering and dressing, I find myself doubting what I'm about to do. I'm questioning my motives and replaying my plan in my head. This has to be done. I have to stand strong, cause I know there's no way we can continue with this the way we are. There are babies coming into this home within the next few months, and I'll be damned if my boy's not whole to greet them. I'll be damned if I let him stay unsure and uneasy and unable to give them the love and attention they deserve. I think to myself, What's that old saying? Children would rather come from a broken home than a home that's broken. Sighing deeply, I continue fighting with and doubting myself. He refuses to talk to anyone. He refuses to get himself some help, telling me that his talks with his father and our family friend Mel are enough for him right now. Informing me that my still standing by his side and loving him unconditionally, and the trust he feels in me is all the therapy he needs right now. Well, all I have to say to that is Bull Shit! God damn Bull Shit! cause the stupid boy won't even talk to me, for fuck sake.

As I enter the kitchen, he's at the sink, rinsing his dishes. As he places them on the rack, he senses my presence. I watch as his muscles tense and strain under his t-shirt as he brings his shaky hand up, running his lean fingers through his fucked up hair before he puts himself back under lock and key and turns to greet me.

"Hey," he whispers, his eyes darting nervously between mine. He knows I want to talk. He knows something has changed. He senses the tension and the charge in the air. And right now, I don't correct him. I don't take the opportunity to put him at ease. This talk has been too long in the making. It's about time we put our cards on the table, and if I can get him to listen and sit still for God damn long enough, I'm going to lay my cards out for him to examine.

As I round the table, I take his hand, feeling his warmth and softness under my touch, I sigh nervously and deeply before I begin, "Edward, take a seat. I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen and understand what I'm trying to say."

He nods as his brow furrows. I watch his bottom lip quiver. He's expecting the worst. And I get it, I really do. He's thought our lives through himself. I know how his mind works. I'm guessing most of his anxiety and confusion these last few weeks is due to the fact that he's been living in his head, thinking, rethinking, and over thinking us.

He sits across from me. Small pants of air release from his lips; his chest gently heaves under his shirt and his hands shake slightly.

I reach out, placing my hands protectively over his, tenderly rubbing circles on his knuckles.

He turns his palms under my touch, enabling me to entwine our fingers as I squeeze gently, giving him a small smile.

"Edward, I don't even know where to begin with this." My eyes dart between his stare and our hands. "Sweetness, my love for you is immeasurable. You know that, right?" He nods slowly, but I see the uncertainty in his eyes. "Babe, I understand what you've been through. I do. I swear, if anyone understands, I fucking do." His eyes are glistening with moisture as he chews down nervously on his bottom lip.

"So when I tell you that I've given what I'm about to say a lot of God damn thought, believe me please." A single tear slides silently from under his lashes, and I watch as it glides down his smooth cheek before being captured between his lips. His pink tongue comes out and catches it, and his lips tighten with the saltiness.

"Sweetness, we need some space - time away, so to speak. We can't be together, locked up behind these fours walls." His eyes go wide as it starts to sink in, but I have to continue. I can't avoid this anymore. It will be the death of us if I don't speak up and set this straight.

Rising from the table somewhat sheepishly, I fetch my leather bike jacket from the hallway closet. As I enter the room again, I watch as Edward sits with this head in his hands.

His shoulders shake softly as small sobs rumble in his chest. My heart breaks for him; my soul melts once more, cause there's nothing in this fucking world I wouldn't do for my boy, and there's nothing I wouldn't give him, and he knows it. He's just not in his right mind set right now to understand it.

Attentively making my way to his side, I pull him to his feet. He gasps when he catches a glimpse of my leather jacket. Now his eyes are everywhere. He's trying desperately to avoid my eyes.

Placing my fingers under his chin, I lift his beautiful face to meet mine. His forest greens are dark and damp. His cheeks are flushed, and his quivering lips are moistened as his nervous tongue swipes them after each unsure bite as his teeth pull them into his mouth.

I gaze at him sadly, my body trembling with emotion and uncertainty. Placing my hands on either side of his face, I pull him in, attacking his lips like a hungry man devouring them, sucking, licking and biting, pouring everything I have into our connection.

He pulls me tighter to him, his fingers now finding purchase in my hair. Our chests heave strongly as I wrap myself up in his warmth, and believe me, I haven't failed to notice that even though he's making small sad noises, he hasn't said one God damn word to question or stop me.

As I step back, placing my hands on his shoulders, I take a shaky deep sigh before continue. "Edward, I've packed my bike."

He tenses. His head falls heavily between his shoulders.

Once more, I place my trembling fingers under his chin and raise his gorgeous face to meet mine.

"Edward, I've packed some clothes and food - enough at least for a few days. I can't stay here like this. I can't be locked up in this prison of these four walls. I need space to think and regroup. This is killing us, sweetness. Do you understand?"

His head now rises slowly as his sad, unsure eyes dart frantically between mine, but he nods his head in understanding. Leaning over, I grab his denim jacket from the chair where I had placed it earlier.

As he stands frozen and confused, his body nervously vibrates under my touch. I move swiftly to dress him. As I button the jacket, his eyes fall, and he watches as my fingers work diligently, fastening him in.

He meets my stare one last time,and I smile tenderly in his direction. My chest pounds as my ears now ring from the tension. Tears are threatening to fall, but I fight them back. I rein them in. I know what I have to do. I have to make him understand and agree with what I'm about to propose.

"Edward, I've packed both our clothes." He eyes me warily. "Everything we will need is at this moment tied down to my bike. I've packed a picnic so we can take a rest stop." His eyes glisten in awe. "Sweetness, I've planned out our route, and I've made reservation at a beautiful, peaceful picturesque bed and breakfast up the coast, and baby, I want to know if you'll join me. I want us to get away. I want us to get some space between us and this God damn house for a while."

As I watch his dark orbs go from sad and unsure to overly excited in one split second, I take this opportunity to push a little further.

"Ya wanna take a road trip, Edward?"

And I'm God damn taking the wide eyed bright beautiful smile spread eagerly across my boy's face as my answer.


	20. Wishes Whispers and Waterfalls

Locking up the house, I check the front door twice before I step off the porch. I'm sorry to say, but our little fucking experience with God damn Volturi has messed with our heads, and to say we both now have fucking trust issues concerning our safety – Well, Edward's mainly - would be a God damn understatement.

I already called chief Swan and asked if he wouldn't mind having one of his boys do a drive by over the next couple of days, informing him that Edward and I will be out of town, and not to worry too much about us.

With him being somewhat in the dark regarding the Volturi fucking 'incident,' and with Edward not remembering anything - So Charlie thinks anyway - he's a little easier to manipulate. Letting him think there's a stalker around town, or even some sick bastard who targeted Edward because he was gay, makes Charlie even more sympathetic to our cause, and a little easier to handle for right now, keeping the heat off of Emmett and me.

I stride contentedly and confidently to my bike, grabbing my printed directions from the duffle and placing them in the inside pocket of my bike jacket. My brows rise as I let my eyes fall softly on Edward, his poor face so pale and delicate in the morning sun. My eyes narrow and my fists tighten at the sight of the pale yellow and green bruise covering the side of his cheek and the small scar he'll have on the outside of his lip once all is said and done and the stitches dissolve.

He nervously straightens his jacket and runs his shaky fingers through his fucked up hair. I just want to hold him tightly to me and reassure him that everything is going to work out right, but I can't. He's not going to listen. The stubborn bastard that he can be sometimes won't let him.

But the time will come - I know it in my heart. My love for him will break that shell, and when it does, I'll be right there to watch the understanding play across his beautiful face and dance in his forest greens. But right now, he's feeling guilty about this morning. He's thinking that he led me on and that I'm angry, but I'm not. I couldn't be if I tried. Angry, no! Disappointed, hell yeah! Thirty more seconds, and I would have been buried deep inside my boy for the first time in weeks. So fucking disappointed. Hell fucking yeah! To say the least.

He hasn't said much since I caught him off guard; he just gives little sideways glances now and again. But that's OK, cause he knows I'll wait. Fuck! I still can't believe he agreed to do this, not that I gave him much of a chance. Even if I had to sling his sorry ass - as cute as it may be - over my God damn shoulder caveman style, the boy would still be getting on the fucking bike right now.

But I'm really over the moon that he wants this, and that he came willingly. My heart feels a hell of a lot lighter knowing that he's up for it, and that he still trusts me to take care of him.

Straddling my bike, I start the engine, feeling as Edward climbs on behind me, his thighs sliding up side mine as he pushes tightly to me. Then his arms fold firmly around my waist. My head spins a little as my cock hardens slightly, feeling his warmth and heat pressed so close to me. My mind's still reeling from the aftermath and confusion of this morning's activities. But that doesn't stop my body from slightly shuddering as a cold shiver runs up my spine. I can't help the effect he has on me. My body loves this boy as much as my mind and heart do.

But that's not to say my chest doesn't still hurt from the confusion and anxiety, so I sigh deeply, trying my best to control myself as I feel him mold himself, and lightly melt into my back. He's finally feeling at ease and a little more relaxed, and we're not even out of the God damn driveway yet. I smirk to myself as his fingers clasp firmly around my chest and he takes one last deep breath.

Before putting my helmet on, I stare into the skies, first wanting to thank anyone or whomever was listening for letting this happen, and hoping to all hell that it all goes as planned and without a hitch. I also want to scope out the clouds or the lack thereof. The weekend weather should be warm and dry, so our ride should be a calm and pleasant. I shouldn't need to concern myself, worrying about the rain, but so help me God, if one God damn drop comes in contact in any way with my boy's fucked up red hair, then there's a couple of weather sites whose asses I'm about to kick from here to next Sunday on my return.

I make quick work of getting us out of our neighborhood. Traffic's light, with it being mid-morning and a weekday, so making it to the highway with no trouble should be a piece of cake. I love the freedom of my bike and the feel of the steel between my legs. The fact that Edward has always thought it hot kind of helps the situation. It's one of the first things that caught his eye in high school - he likes to remind me from time to time that when he heard the roar of the engine pulling into the parking lot, he had to turn stop and stare. And then he adds with a smirk that when he saw how sexy the ass getting off the bike was, he was a goner.

What can I say? My boy's a horny fucker sometimes! So the thought of this getting my boy all hot and bothered under the collar has crossed my mind. Knowing that all the dirty thoughts from when we were teenagers just couldn't help themselves but go through his dirty little mind right now, and that thought alone was just turning me on all that much more, not that it took fucking much these days. Fuck, if the wind changed, I was ready and willing. Well, maybe it's me who's the horny fucker!

I know you've all noticed I took the bike and not the car. I'm southern, people, not stupid. There's a means behind my madness. I knew if we took the car, we'd have to do some kinda talking, and that I didn't want. I wanted Edward to feel the wind on his face, smell the fresh air and blow the God damn cobwebs out of his head. The boy needed time to wrap his mind around some things, he needs to realize in his own time that we haven't changed, and no matter what we come up against,we will always remain the same.

It takes us about an hour on the highway to get where I needed us to be. Pulling off the shoulder, I slide into the first available parking spot. From here it's non-descriptive. We're surrounded by trees and bushes, but as I glance around excitedly, I see a small gate leading to a pathway disguised by the dense overgrown vegetation.

Removing my helmet as Edward does the same, I walk to the back of the bike, releasing the straps holding down the cooler and blanket. Placing his helmet on the back of the bike beside mine, Edward slides up to me, warily eyeing me and confusedly taking in the surrounding area. I take his hand tenderly in mine before I lead him to the entrance.

The small gate is only thigh high, so I push it open easily with my knee, having to push some of the overgrown brush as we cautiously make our way inside. My boots crunch noisily underfoot, the gravelly pathway being our only indication of which direction to travel.

I take his hand tighter as I watch him take everything in. He looks a little overwhelmed and excited, his eyes dancing gleefully from trees to bushes to pathways as they fork off in all directions. The forest is making the most enchanting noises. There are birds chirping as wild life scurries beneath the underbrush, and if you listen closely, you can hear the faint sound of water cascading. It takes every sense you have to take it all in.

Our eyes dart eagerly, and our ears hum in enjoyment. This place is magical and bewildering, and at this very moment, we're looking like two lost boys in a toy store, trying our best to absorb all the colors, sounds and wonderment at once.

We walk through the forest slowly. There is no rush; we're in no hurry. It's nice just being in the moment.

Placing the rolled-up blanket under my armpit as I grip the cooler tighter, it's possible for me to wrap my arm tenderly around Edward's waist, pulling him gently to me as we fall easily into step.

His eyes are everywhere. They sparkle in awe of this magical place. His lips part to question me from time to time, but then something new catches his interest, and I guess the thought leaves him. And I thank God silently, cause that's what I wanted, that's how I need it to be. He needs to let his mind wander. He needs to have something other than us to think about.

We've been walking for about forty minutes, just leisurely strolling and taking in the sights and sounds, the crunching of our feet being the only conversation, and a gentle squeeze of our entwined fingers being our only communication. When we come to a fork in the road, we simply look at each other raise our eyebrows; then with a smile, we continue to our left.

Suddenly I hear what I've been looking for before I see it. My chest heaves under my deep, knowing sigh as I relax further into the moment. And as we emerge from the thick, dense undergrowth, I hear the sweetest sound that has struck my eardrums in weeks: Edward gasps in amazement. His fingers tighten eagerly around my hand, and without even glancing in his direction, I feel his chest heave strongly as his body starts to vibrate in awe and excitement.

After all the time we've been caught up in the dim, dense thickness of the forest, we have now stepped wondrously into a sun-filled opening. Having to let our eyes adjust momentarily, we gaze in excitement and awe. My eyes flutter closed as I breathe deeply into my lungs, giving myself a second to download this moment to long term memory.

The shade of the trees is lighter, enabling the sun to filter through in the most delicious way. The colors bounce and textures dance. The grass beneath our feet is soft and supple, stretching out forever over little hills and valleys as they surround this amazing rock-edged watering hole. And in astonishment, we stare in admiration as this huge waterfall rushes forcefully down from the highest peak, consuming our hearing, making our ears hum in agreement as the thunderous cascade of water plays like a finely conducted orchestra into the pool below.

I glance over at Edward as I watch his moist, tired eyes dart back and forth in wonder and amazement. Then slowly he turns to return my gaze. Our eyes move slowly but surely between each other's, and my heart melts as I watch the excitement dance behind his dark orbs, noticing in that split second that this wondrous place was made for my boy as his forest greens and copper red melt exquisitely into our surroundings.

Then he breaks his silence as a hushed whisper slowly gushes from his moistened lips.

"Jasper... Oh my God… I… I… I have never seen anything more beautiful than this."

And as I squeeze his hand, gently thinking to myself, I have you, babe! You! I nod my head in reply.

Regaining my composure, I straighten myself and cough softly to get Edward's attention. I point in the direction of the rock path and stairway leading down to the water. I take his hand as we tread carefully down to the next level. The rocks are slippery from the spray of the waterfall, but as we take it slow and easy, one step at a time, we make it down safely in one piece. Now being level with the waterhole, the rock formation surrounds and cocoons us. The rushing thunder from the fall is the background music, and the spray is our only interruption from the sun's rays.

I find a shady spot where the grass is soft, though a little moist, and I unroll the blanket, throwing our towels to the side. I have to bend a little because of the rock jutting out overhead forming an umbrella from the spray of the falls. Setting the cooler aside, I remove my jacket. Turning towards Edward, I smile crazily. His jacket is thrown to the ground as he now eagerly sits on the edge of the blanket removing his socks and sneakers.

Gotta love my eager boy.

He eyes the area shyly and cautiously, and I raise my eyebrow in his direction questioningly. He turns to stare at me, and as his tired, damp eyes search mine, I ask, "What's up, sweetness? You OK?" He nods, but his eyes still dart in curiosity. So I worriedly ask, "What do you need, babe? Is there something wrong?" He shakes his head slowly from side to side, letting me know that he's fine, but his wary eyes still dart between us and the water.

And then it dawns on me, and I realize the battle going on in his worried little head. Once my boots and socks are nestled by my side on the grass, I stand, wrapping my arms tenderly around his slim waist. Kissing his forehead softly, I inform him joyfully, "Babe, we are all alone. If you feel the need to remove your jeans and go for a dip, feel free. There's no one here to disturb us." And with that information tucked securely away, he gives his surroundings one last glance before frantically removing his t-shirt and jeans and running freely like a fucking four-year-old towards the water.

I sit on the blanket, having removed my own shirt, but needing to feel my way through the moment before I release myself of my jeans. I watch as Edward plays. Yep! You heard me right: plays. He's swimming back and forth between the rock edges, sometimes sinking under only to return to the surface to spit a fountain of water from his beautiful, full lips. And as he watches me watch him, he smiles a small, gleeful smirk, turning up the corners off his mouth. His eyes dance and sparkle as he brings his lean, long hands up to his forehead, only to push them into his fucked up red hair, gliding it back, letting the water run smoothly down the contours of his back.

Fuck he's so hot.

I swallow hard as I watch him. My eyes follow every move he makes, no matter how small or unimportant. This man before me. Yes, Man! I said it; cause that is what he now is, a beautiful, outstanding man. Always my boy, but still a man. Well anyway, this beautiful man is the most intriguing person I have ever known, and God knows I've known him forever. I've watched as he's grown and blossomed to becoming the most loving, caring, understanding creature God has ever graced this planet with. And I know just being in his presence has made me want to be a better person as well.

It still astonishes me that he chose me to join him on this journey. It still amazes me at times that he still keeps my sorry ass around. Sometimes I think it's just to open tight lids on jars or take out the heavy trash, but other times I see it in his forest greens, I sense it in his touch. But I hope one day to see it through his eyes, and maybe he'll explain it all to me more clearly, cause shit knows I don't get it, and at times, I wonder if I even deserve it.

I jump with a yelp, looking confusedly around. I hear Edward giggle from the water's edge. Looking down on him, his head and shoulders are the only body parts I can see as he smiles widely, leaning his chin on his folded arms in front of him. Droplets of water drip from his red locks onto his face, making me swallow hard. As I follow the little sexy streams flowing freely down and over the muscles of his face, over his strong brow, the bridge of his nose, the curve of his cheekbones and the square of his jaw, they disappear down his lean, long neck and over his strong muscled shoulders. And after I rein in my lust for this boy and the effect he has on me, I smile brightly down on him as I watch the water behind him splash and spray from the kicking of his long legs.

He looks so happy and peaceful. I can now see the youthful look of the boy I once knew shining back at me. For a minute, he's out of his head. There's no worries in his bright eyes. His complexion is smooth and untainted. And that image makes me melt. My heart soars and skips every other beat as it tries to rebuild its broken structure. My chest tightens with the possiblity of recovering from this nightmare of a fuckery. I just need to get him to understand; and I need him to open up and talk to me, as I do him. He needs to start listening to my words, and if he won't do that, I'll get him to watch my actions and convictions.

As he tilts his head cutely to the side making me sigh deeply, he inquires, "Babe, are you coming in?" I smile widely before I answer. "Don't you think we should eat first? I made us lunch!"

His brow frowns as he pouts like a four-year-old then squeaks out, "But?"

I chuckle loudly. "No buts, Edward! You need to keep your strength up if you're going to swim for the next few hours, and knowing you, you probably will!" And as I let my eyebrows sternly rise, he obediently raises himself out of the water.

And as my lustful eyes drink him in, my body can't help itself but shudder with desire and need for him. I turn my back to him abruptly, sucking fast gulps of air into my lungs, letting my eyes close, momentarily adjusting the hardening bulge in my now overly tight and uncomfortable jeans.

Bending to retrieve a towel for my boy, and who are we kidding, giving myself a God damn minute to recover from my teenage urges, I feel like I'm losing it. My God damn mind is in turmoil, spinning out of control. With Edward and me unable to be intimate in such a long time, I feel my nerves are on edge. My body tingles at the mere sound of his fucking velvet voice, and seriously, it fucking hurts when the wind blows, cause I end up with a God damn hard on. So to say I'm a horny fucker right now would be an understatement, so the fact that I have to control myself should not come as a surprise to anyone.

Turning, I throw him the towel as he stands all fucking soaking wet and gorgeous. I lick my lips nervously. My fingers tingle in anticipation, wanting to reach out and touch his shimmering skin, recalling to memory how his touch and feel felt under my caress. I gulp hard, sucking back saliva, trying my best to coat my now dry throat as he stands wrapping himself in the towel.

My eyes catch his stare. He has noticed my lustful gawking, and now my body shivers in anxiety. I don't want to scare him. I don't want to make him anxious. I never want him to think that I only want his body, and am not taking any of the fucking incident under consideration. I only want him to understand that I'm willing to wait, I'm able to be patient, and that I'll never push him into something that he doesn't want to do. I'm a horny fucker, but I'm trying my best not to be a douche.

After drying off, and with his towel firmly wrapped around his slim, lean hips, he takes a seat on the blanket next to me as I reach for the cooler. I offer him a beer, and he raises his eyebrows in my direction, but not without me noticing that he took the fucker a little too quickly and eagerly for my liking, right out of my God damn hand. "What?" I inquire with a smirk.

"We are driving today, right? Cause I didn't see you carrying a tent over your shoulder as we walked," he counters.

And with that in mind, I sheepishly answer, "Yes, babe, we're going to be doing a little more driving today to get to where we need to be, but I knew we would be here for a few hours, so I didn't think a beer or two would kill us. If you prefer, I do have sodas. Would you like one?" I watch as his throat downs the contents of the ice cold bottle, and I have to once again close my eyes and breathe deeply into my strangled lungs.

I hear him reply with a chuckle, "Naah, this is delicious. I'm good for now."

When we've finished our sandwiches and most of our beer, we lie back, taking in the sun's rays and the forest noises. And as I lie there, I try to let my mind rest and somewhat forgive myself for lusting and wanting after my poor boy, kicking myself mentally for being unable to rein in my urges. I have to close my eyes and bite my lip, cause God damn it, I'm unable to do so, and I hate myself a little more for it.

Suddenly I feel a slight tug on my fingers. Glancing down without raising my head, I watch through my lashes happily as Edward entwines his shaky fingers with mine. My heart beats joyfully in my chest as I watch in wonder as my boy sneaks his fingers under my palm. Glancing over, letting my eyes rest on his glorious face as the sun bounces off his fucked up red hair, I sigh deeply with contentment. I watch him gleefully as he plays with my fingers.

I'm not making it easy for him. I'm letting him work for my attention, so as he pushes each finger between mine, I turn my face back to the sun and smirk. And finally his lean long fingers come to rest wrapped in my own, and I swear I can feel his pulse pound loudly on his palm as it comes in contact with mine, matching the drum beat that rumbles under my skin. So lying back, I let the orchestra inside me take over and play the most beautiful music as we relax into the moment.

After about thirty minutes of lying in my peaceful heaven, I'm pulled abruptly from it as Edward eagerly rises, informing me that it's time to return to the water. And within a few seconds, the water splashes as his lean body cuts through its peaceful calmness. Downing the last of my beer, I decide to join my boy. I stand hurriedly and remove my jeans, my excitement growing as I listen to Edward laugh loudly from the water. His beautiful symphony echos throughout our little cocoon, and within a seconds, I'm making my own splashes right along side him, the water feeling cool and soothing as my body cuts through it.

After swimming around for a while, Edward and I having a little fun challenging each other to a few races and diving experiments, and of course, the God of all challenges and bets, who can hold their breath the longest. I won two out of three, but who am I to gloat? I think sticking my tongue out at Edward and childishly singing the Na Na Na Na song was payback enough.

I pull myself up onto the side, resting my wet ass on the hot rocks. I lean back on my hands and watch as Edward continues to enjoy himself happily swimming and splashing, diving and spitting fountains out his beautiful plump lips. My eyes fall upon him, and my heart skips a few more beats.

The sight of him enchants me - it makes me whole and happy. My mind spins with the knowledge that he is the best part of me, and always will be.

He has the ability to reach inside me, and drag the foremost greatness from my very heart and soul. And if it God damn kills me, I'll fight every day to let him understand what he's done to me and what he means to me.

I'm taken out of my musing by wet hands softly touching my now hot outer thighs. As I gaze down upon my beautiful smiling boy, I grin widely in return, watching his dark green eyes sparkle in the sunlight. Then suddenly his eyes divert, and my brows furrow in confusion. Reaching out, I place my fingers under his chin, tenderly bringing his view back to my face before inquiring. "What's up, sweetness? Are you tired? Do you want to leave?"

I give myself a few seconds to look around, noticing that it is still early in the afternoon, and the sun is still high in the sky, enabling us to bask in its warmth and enchantment for at least a few more hours before we have to leave.

And as I bring my hand up to cover my eyes and shade them from the brightness of the sun, I hear it.

"Jasper?"

His shaky nervous whisper feels like a vise wrapped tightly around my weakened heart, and my soul sadly cries at the knowledge that it's about to receive. So taking a deep, quivering breath, I place a soft touch on my frightened boy's shoulder, hoping to let whatever confidence I have left sink into him so he may continue.

But before my eyes find his, he hurriedly gushes out on a short flow of air, " I'm scared."

Our eyes meet, as though for the first time. They dart frantically between us, both full of wonder, hope, curiosity, faith, love, cautiousness, bewilderment and pain.

But as our damp, dark eyes search for answers, I'm unable to say a word. I just stare like in a weakened state as my poor, hurt, tired boy bobs between my thighs, begging me to give him a chance. His dark orbs urge me to listen to what he needs to say to hopefully unburden his heavy chest. So all I can do right now is give him my utmost attention.

As he pulls himself to me, he wraps his arms around my waist, placing his cheek on my chest as I gather him into my embrace, folding my arms around his neck, feeling him relax somewhat into my hold before he goes on.

" I don't want to lose you, Jasper. I... I... don't know what I'd d...do... but I'm scared, baby. I... I... I've never been this scared before."

And as I fight the falling teardrops, I place a single soft kiss in his fucked up hair as I squeeze him a little tighter to me.

" I... I... I try to hide it, and I'm so...sor...sorry, cause I know that you can see it. Y...y...you see everything, Jasper. I know you do. B...but... the thought that it hurts you so bad kills me. I... I... don't mean to hurt you. I... I... would never knowingly do that. Can you forgive me, baby? Please say you can."

And as I'm thanking everything that will listen that his hair is wet so he can't feel my falling tears, I nod into his sticky, damp head, unable to trust my own voice.

" I thought I... I... was nev...never... going to see you again. I... I... thought h...he... was going to kill me if I didn't do what he... wanted. But I couldn't, Jas...Jasper. I couldn't do what he wanted, even if my life depended on it. I couldn't... live with myself if I had... So I was prepared to die."

As his sobs echo off the rocks, I pull him closer to me, feeling his hot, sweaty, nervous breath fan my now cooling chest.

"I love you, Jasper. You're the best part of me. Y...you... you get me; you always have. And I... I want us to get back to being us. I don't want to b..be scared anymore. I need y...your help. Will you help me... Jasper? Please?"

And as I let my tears freely flow and my sobs escape my lungs, I feel my body tremble and shiver as I listen to Edward's pained cries hum within my ears. His blunt nails dig somewhat painfully into the tight skin and muscles of my back as my fingertips grip onto his flesh like my life depended on it - and really it does, cause this boy is my life.

He continues with heavy breaths and sputtered sobs. "Wh...when we ge...get back, I'm going to call my dad a...and ask him to recommend some...someone for me to talk to. I... I think that's... wh..what I need. Don't you?"

And as I'm finding it hard to breathe and control my emotions, I once again nod vigorously into his hair.

" I... I can't live without you... Jasper. The thought terrifies me. It makes my heart hurt."

As I bring a shaky hand up to wipe his sticky hair from his forehead, knowing it's driving him crazy right now. The boy's got a problem, remember, a big problem. I tenderly press my lips to his sweaty skin inhaling his heavenly scent and hopefully a little of his fear.

And then in surprise, he releases himself from my hold. He bobs back in the water, bringing his own wet hands back to swipe away the stray hairs that have fallen over his dark eyes, and as he glaces up at me, he takes a deep breath as he announces, "Jasper, you're my world; you know that right?"

I nod slowly this time, regaining a little of my composure.

"I want us to fight this. I want us to get through this. I don't want him to win. And I know if I keep this up, that's what I'm letting him do.

"I don't know where he is, and I really don't give a fuck right now." He raises his eyebrows sternly. "I hope whatever you've done to him or with him does not come back and haunt us."

I raise my eyebrow at him questioningly before he continues. "But if it does, we'll stand by each other and fight if we have to."

As I open my mouth, not knowing what I'm really going to say or how to answer him. He places his fingers on my lips, letting me know he really doesn't want to know before he continues. And I'm happy to let him do so, cause I really don't think I've heard my baby speak this much in the last few weeks, and I've really missed it.

"I miss you, Jasper. My soul and heart are lonely without you in them. I want to make this right. I'm not saying that it will happen today, or even tomorrow, but I want you by my side as I get through this. Can you do that for me? Can you find it in your heart? Which I know I have broken daily. But can you help me?"

Pulling him to me, I crush my lips to his without words. I'm trying to tell him that I agree wholeheartedly with what he has said, and hopefully inform him that my heart and soul are also lonely without him.

And as my mind replays his every word and action, my heart skips a beat upon realizing that every sentence included the word 'us,' meaning me, meaning we, meaning together. And I couldn't be happier.

I feel his fingers sneakily playing in my hair as he drags my face closer to his. He pulls himself up into me, making me have to cup his wet boxer-clad ass to keep him steady. He pushes forward, rubbing himself roughly into my now hardening cock. With one hand still in my hair, he wraps the other around the back of my neck, holding on to my shoulders. He pulls back, making me release a slight whimper from my lips, and he devilishly smirks before proceeding to plant soft, tender kisses all over my face. His moist lips glide across my cheekbones, eyelids, the bridge of my nose, just before his hot tongue comes out and licks the shell of my ear, making me shudder and groan deep in my chest. My head starts to spin as I feel his clothed dick rub seductively over my own. My nails dig hungrily into his supple flesh. His butt cheeks tighten and relax in the palms of my hands.

Next thing I know, he's crawling up me, pulling himself out of the water with the help of my weight as I lean back, giving him access to my naked chest as his beautiful lips suck and slurp eagerly over my longing torso. My sweaty hands travel his muscled back as my eager hips roll up into him. He growls deeply, and the amazing sound echoes within the rocks. Our kissing is angry and wanton. Our hands and fingers grip, slide, pull and tug on each other's skin.

As he pulls on my hair, pushing my head into the soft grass, his lips release me as he moans my name into the air. "Fuck! Jasper I need you! I need more! I need something!" And with that, I roll him so his back now lays flat against the moistened ground. I move swiftly and eagerly to remove his wet boxers, and I gasp in awe, for at last my hungry eyes fall lustfully upon my beautiful boy's naked glorious body.

His chest heaves in anticipation. I watch in wonder as his abs deliciously clench under my fingertips. Bending down, I let my tongue drag gingerly along his roped muscles, tasting his salt and flavor. Inhaling deeply, my head spins as my throat dries. Letting my lips follow his happy trail, I seductively take his soft trimmed hair between my teeth and pull gently. I feel his body tremble with the need to be touched. I feel the goose bumps climb and play upon his beautiful pale skin.

And as I reach the promised land, I glide my nose over his length, sucking his heavenly scent deep into my lungs. I place my hands on his hips, encouraging him to stay put, but it's been too long. There's been way to much time in between, and knowing that, I let my mouth engulf his feverish cock.

And my name glides deliciously off his tongue in hot gushes. 'Jasper, oh. Fuck, baby, I've missed you!"

His legs fall limp to his sides as I climb swiftly in between them. I let my hands gently travel his inner thighs. My fingertips dance softly on his heated skin as I listen to the grunts, growls and lustful pants leave his beautiful mouth.

I take him deep, feeling him hit the back of my throat, humming loudly at the sensation as his hips buck eagerly into my awaiting lips. Placing my forearms on either side of his body, I release him a little from my deep throat, giving him a second to adjust. Bringing one of my hands down now that I'm stable, I roughly roll his balls in the palm of my hand, and as my finger comes in contact with his hole, he bucks frantically into my mouth.

I massage him gently, circling his outer rim tenderly as my palm plays with both balls simultaneously. His hips buck as his fingers find purchase in the soft grass around us and my hair. He tugs eagerly, his hands shaking uncontrollably. His breathing becomes shallow and deep. I watch through hooded eyes and heavy lashes as my boy's body ripples with desire and lust.

The sucking and slurping sounds are creepily eerie as they vibrate off the rocks that surround us. It's like porn in stereo as it coats our sweaty bodies, sinking into our every pore. As I press forward, I break the barrier of his now relaxed hole, not wanting to thrust too hard, and unable to will myself to go further with no lube, I tenderly let my finger ease gently in to the first knuckle.

My heart stops as he tenses beneath me. But without another thought, I suck harder and massage his entrance a little more carefully, not wanting to hurt him, but wanting and longing to bring forth some form of release.

And as I let my throat tighten around his girth, I feel his cock pound and pulse in my mouth. His hands tug in my hair, and his nails scrape my scalp; and as he releases my name into the hot afternoon air, his release explodes in my mouth, coating my tongue and throat, and I savor it, I consume it, I cherish every God damn drop.

After licking him clean, I raise myself above him. His eyes are dark and wondrous, his skin is flushed and glowing, and as hot, heavy pants of air leave his straining lungs, he smiles wearily, his eyes dancing in the sunlight.

All I can do is lean in and attack his beautiful swollen lips with my own. He moans at the taste of his own flavor on my tongue. His hands find my butt cheeks thrusting my now engorged cock against him.

As I pull back, he looks confused, but I give him a reassuring smile before I rise to my feet, ignoring my overly fucking hard as hell cock. Slipping on my jeans, I pull Edward to his feet, and as I wrap my arms around his waist, I try my best to explain.

"Honey, that was for you. You needed it, and I wanted to give it to you. I've missed you so much."

He pulls me closer to him, placing a tender kiss on my parted lips as he whispers into my mouth. "Missed you too, baby. Thank you, and you were oh so right - I did need that."

And as I kiss him back gently, I rest my forehead against his before I continue.

"Babe, I'm sorry to bring our beautiful day to an end, but we really need to get back on the road soon. And we do have a walk ahead of us before we reach the bike."

And as he helps me fold the blanket and roll the towels, he inquires excitedly, "How far to the bed and breakfast?"

Turning to him, I raise my eyebrows questioningly, "About another hour, maybe a little more. Why?"

And as he eyes me apprehensively, he whispers, "I need a shower, babe." And as he wraps his arms around me, tenderly sucking my earlobe between his teeth, his hot breath fanning the side of my face, he continues, "And I'd like you to join me."

So within seconds, we're climbing the rock steps, finding the gravel pathway and making our way - not so leisurely this time - through the forest towards the bike, a little more joyful and hopeful than when we entered.

And I have a God damn shower with my boy waiting for me at the end of this fucking trip!


	21. Weak And Wanton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'd like to thank my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, have to thank her, she rocks, she puts up with my crap on a daily bases and still comes back for more.
> 
> I want to give a big thank you to Prassacut author of Roads And Musicmovesmypen author of Tell Me What You Want. They both took the time to listen to me whine over parts of this chapter and for that I'll be forever thankful...If you haven't read either please do so now, you don't know what your missing.
> 
> This chapter was a hard one, I knew some off you wanted it to go one way. But Jasper had other idea's and as per I listened.

As we exit the forest, I glance at Edward nervously, concerned with the fact that now that we're back in the so-called real world and not locked away in our little make-believe cocoon, he would shut down and retreat back into himself.

But the boy looks refreshed in a way, maybe a little lighter than before, making me feel a little smug. That's the power of the blow job baby. Even if I do say so myself, I can suck a really mean cock when I put my mind to it. But as I continue to stare, I do notice the tension in his stance. Who's he think he's kidding? The boy ain't fooling anyone really, especially me. He still has his furrowed brow and guarded eyes. So I make a mental note reminding myself to still tread carefully around him and give him time.

Not that I'm expecting my awesome skills of giving head to solve all the world's fucking problems. Shit! If that were the case, I'd be running this God damn country and I'd be on my God damn knees daily. But I at least thought that he would be a little happier and somewhat giddy. God knows I would be, but as I mentioned earlier, these days, if the wind blows wrong I'm ready. Really fucking ready!

And then I look closer and inspect a little deeper, and I can see it, I can make it out, a glimmer of his old spark is back, dancing behind his glorious green eyes. There's a new flush on his delicate cheeks and a pink plumpness to his beautiful pouty lips.

As he returns my gaze, he smiles widely, though still a little shyly. But what has piqued my interest and concerns me the most, is the fact that his eyes nervously dart between me and his shoes like he's embarrassed as he kicks restlessly at the stony ground.

What the fuck's he got to be embarrassed about?

Not wanting to give him the opportunity to shut down on me again, I step up toe to toe with him. My breath fans his glorious face, making his eyes flutter anxiously. His brow begins to smoothe as his chest heaves profoundly under a still somewhat damp t-shirt.

I watch mesmerized; my stare unable to leave his beautiful face. His eyes close slowly once more, and thick, heavy lashes fan lightly over high flushed cheekbones as they dance slightly, the midday sun brushing them, making each one glisten under its rays. His nostrils flare smoothly, allowing him to inhale soft, deep breaths. Plump lips part, enabling his pink tongue to roll seductively over the bottom one, moistening it before it retreats languidly back between beautiful, straight white teeth.

And as I watch in awe and wonder, swallowing hard, taking in his beauty, I try my best to constrain my impulse to devour him where he stands. My head spins as my cock swells, twitching frantically in my now tight as all hell jeans. I really don't know how much more I can take. My God damn body wants to explode with fucking need and want. I'm unable to pay any fucking mind to the God damn consequences or the aftermath that would follow if I dared to go a step further. But I'm pulled up short as his forest greens capture my vivid blues, making my body shudder with its new-found recognition.

Our eyes maintain contact as I feel his hand slip strong and slow around my waist, his lean fingers tuck into the back pocket of my jeans as he cups my butt cheek, pulling me to him. Feeling his heat makes my pulse pound rapidly under my skin. My body tingles in anticipation as his fingernails scratch, intensely clawing in their denim sleeve.

Placing my palm on his cheek, cradling his face, my finger swipes a loose strand of hair attempting to block the view of his forest greens. I sigh acutely as my wondrous boy leans tenderly into my gentle touch. The loving motion causes my eyes to impulsively flutter closed. I inhale deeply through my nose, trying to will myself to stand strong, hoping to obtain the strength needed to rein in my lust and desire, fighting like all hell to gain some self-control, not wanting to cause my boy any unnecessary distress, just needing to express my love.

"Edward, babe, you still want to continue, right? You OK? We can go home if you want; if you'd really really need to."

His eyes dart between mine, as he contemplates an answer. I wait patiently in silence. I want him to come to his own conclusion, wanting him to understand that he has a choice and that he won't be pressured. But that doesn't stop me from hoping to all hell that he makes the right one, fucking praying to all that will listen that he wants this. He can't be forced, and I understand that. But shit! I'm just saying a little persuading never hurt anybody! Right?

His face brightens as he smiles widely with damp, unsure eyes. He glances tenderly at my weary expression. All the while, his other hand reaches over, running slim fingers softly through my dewy curls, tugging when they come to rest at the nape of my neck, pulling my mouth towards his soft lips.

But believe me when I tell ya, it doesn't go unnoticed, cause the fucking sight makes my chest tighten beyond pain. I watch helplessly as he tenses and shivers, anxiously anticipating his next action, his bottom lip quivering slightly.

He shockingly places a soft hot kiss upon my awaiting pout.

His tongue glides seductively over the swollen rim off my bottom lip as his teeth nip gently.

Fuck! Don't the boy know I'm weak right now? Weak I tell ya! The shudder starts at my toes and tingles over my thighs. My butt puckers nervously as the sensation lands smack damn between my fucking legs, making my balls hurt so God damn bad, causing a husky groan to rumble deep in my throat. And it takes all that I have not to pounce.

Mama naked! Mama naked! Fuck! Please Mama naked. I smile warily as my body starts to flush with a light sweat. I blink rapidly, reining in my lust.

He leans back panting a little, his eyes pooled with moisture. Sighing deeply, he gingerly answers, "We should continue on, babe. The change will do us good. Don't you think?"

Licking my lips, unable to breathe properly, my only response is to nod.

You bet your ass it'll do some God damn good. Fuck! I'm such a douche. I mentally kick myself for being so weak.

Climbing back on the bike, my body trembles. I can feel the tension rolling off me as we head out again.

Really don't know how much more of this I can take - it's been so fucking long. It might be a few weeks to you guys, but you have to understand weeks are like dog years to a sex-starved gay man.

He wraps himself around me even tighter this time. His hot breath flies up under my helmet, making me shiver as my hair dampens from the sweat on my neck.

Fuck! Don't know how long I can hold on. Does he know what he's doing to me here? I'm dying, fucking dying.

I'm not sure if it's my imagination or just wishful thinking on my part, but I swear, as we ride, he's leisurely grinding his hard cock up into the crack of my ass on purpose. The sensation makes me shiver with lust. It's not as if it's all gentle-like, the boy is as subtle as a fucking brick. He's acting like he's fucking hungry right now, and I don't mean in a cookies and milk kinda way either. Trying my best to concentrate on my driving, but finding it hard to do so, it takes all I have to take my mind off what I thought was happening and keep my eyes on the road.

But fuck I can't concentrate. My mind is constantly reeling. All I can feel is him rolling his hips up on me. All I can think about are his hips rolling up on me. And to make things worse, the fucker now has his hands up under my jacket, his palms wandering my chest, his fingertips connecting with my nipple rings under my damp t-shirt. And the little shit is trying his best to be all nonchalant about it. Fucker!

Thank God for the roar of the engine, cause I'm groaning and moaning like a fucking mad man. And with every duck and wave that I make within the traffic, my head spins as my blood pounds in my veins. My heart soars with happiness and amazement, but I'm still a little nervous that my lust will take over, and I won't be able to control myself around him. So I keep up my chanting and prayers. Mama naked! Mama naked! Oh please, baby Jesus, Mama naked!

It takes us roughly two hours to drive to get to where we have to be - even though it feels like fucking forever for me, cause Edward is relentless. The ass that he is keeps up his teasing shit the whole God damn way. The only release I get was when we stop for bathroom breaks, and it takes all I had not to run off and leave his sorry ass stranded on the side of the road. It wouldn't be the first time I've had to think about that over the years. I've threatened him a few times. But I just needed to get my poor self some relief.

And each time I even dare to glance in his direction, I swear the cocky fucker's smirking to himself. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my boy get his nasty on and be his playful self, but have some mercy. Give a guy a heads-up. Let me know up front that I'm able to reciprocate. Don't just leave me hanging and hard. But by the look on his God damn face, he's enjoying every fucking minute of his teasing. Fucker!

The bed and breakfast was settled in a quite comfortable neighborhood with a lake as a backdrop. Long midday walks would be a wonderful relaxing thing to do here, maybe before or after dinner. But as I'm pulling up the long driveway, finding a parking spot easily, my mindset changes.

Maybe Edward's got other things in mind. Maybe this whole God damn road trip will turn out better than I thought?

Taking our bag as I watch Edward glance eagerly around our surroundings, the evening air brushing his fucked up locks in all directions, his skin still flushed and smooth, I exhale deeply as I adjust my aching cock - Bastard! - before slipping my fingers to entwine with his as we head for the front door of this old craftsman style cottage. Every light is on like a beacon guiding us in as every window welcomes you into its warmth and serenity.

As we enter the reception area, we are greeted somewhat wearily and hurriedly by a short, plump lady, maybe in her late fifties, early sixties, with light gray hair. Her eyes dart frantically between Edward and me, taking long, lingering looks at our clasped hands before returning her stare to our confused gaze. Fuck! Please don't let this get out of hand. This would not be the time to drop kick a little old fucking lady into the nearby lake for being a closed-minded bigot.

Edward squeezes my hand nervously as I turn and smile at him with a wink, telling him silently, I got this.

Reaching out my other hand, not letting Edward's grasp leave my firm grip, I smile widely, and yeah, people, you got it. The infamous Hale-Cullen smirk, dimples and all, baby, dimples and all, come out to play as my eyes match her darting glimpses. And as she nervously gives us a returning small smile, she heads back behind the counter before reaching to meet my awaiting hand. I guess she thought we were going to mug her or something. Cause fuck, we all know that that's what we gay men are famous for - mugging little old fucking ladies. It's how we roll. Fuck!

"Mrs Sweeney, I presume." I smile wide and shake firmly. No wimpy ass gay boy here, baby! All man, I tell ya! All man! Just ask my husband.'

"That would be me," she replies in a hushed, nervous whisper, with a slight accent I couldn't really make out. I want to laugh out loud - Am I really that intimidating? - not able to wrap my head around the idea.

She takes my hand with a soft but firm hold, her swollen, fat fingers engulfing my slender ones. As we shake for what I'm thinking is a little too long to be socially acceptable, her smile becomes a little more genuine. Her brows rise, eyes still darting between Edward and me. "I called this morning and made reservations. Jasper, Jasper Hale-Cullen." Pulling her hand from my grip, she licks her finger, and lightly fingers the pages of a book on the counter in front of her.

"Yes yes yes. Here it is, Jasper Hale-Cullen. Hmmmm, let me see. Queen-size bed and fireplace." As she turns her back to us, examining a wall of little boxes and hanging keys, Edward squeezes my hand again gently, as I feel him slump slightly into my body. Hurry the hell up, Mrs. Sweeney, or the boy's sleeping where he falls. Returning her attention to us, she gleefully announces, "Here we go," as she makes her wobbly way around the counter.

"Follow me, boys. I'm showing you to the Cascade Room. I hope you like it. It holds everything you requested, Mr Hale-Cullen." She glances over her shoulder. I eye her questioningly before catching her drift. "Jasper, Mrs Sweeney. Please, call me Jasper, and this is my husband, Edward. Edward Hale-Cullen." I step aside, placing my hand on Edward's lower back, giving him a chance to extend his hand to her awaiting one.

As she waddles her way up the stairs in front of us, I can't help but snicker and nudge Edward, as he stares over sternly, nudging me hard back. Fucker! I mouth him silently, "What?"

He laughs out loud, the sound making me smile even wider. Bringing my hand to his lips, he kisses them gently before smirking at me. "What are you, hon, four?" And we both laugh loudly, making Mrs. Sweeney turn to give us a stern look before giggling to herself.

As she unlocks the door shakily, she steps aside, enabling us to enter. "Enjoy, boys." We make our way into the bedroom, where the huge queen-size bed takes center stage. It sits high off the ground, covered in a deep navy blue comforter, but what's making it pop is the heavy deep shade of red that's painted on the walls. The color envelopes the room in warmth and comfort. As we glance around, Mrs. Sweeney busies herself wandering between us. turning on bedside lamps and straightening pillows. To our right is a beautiful red and beige tiled gas fireplace with a large TV mounted on the wall above it, and to the side is an extra large, beige colored, overstuffed armchair, giving the space a homey feel.

As she pushes by us, excusing herself, she opens a door and turns on an overhead light. "This is the bathroom, and as you requested, Mr Ha… I mean Jasper," she smiles, her eyes sparkling with familiarity, "a claw-foot jetted tub.

Edward pulls me to him, his face buried in my shoulder as I hear his muffled plea, "Oh God, please Jaspeeeeeeer…"

I smile knowingly to myself before returning his tender gesture with a gentle kiss to his fucked up hair.

Mrs. Sweeney excuses herself again before she retreats backwards into the hallway, closing the door with a gentle click.

After removing my jacket and hanging it behind the door, I tend to the unpacking of our duffle, placing our clothes in the drawers as Edward removes his shoes, lying back on the bed, resting his arm loosely over his face.

Before I could finish with the clothes, the phone on the nightstand begins to ring. Edward bolts up and eyes me warily. His stare darts nervously between me and the phone. Raising my eyebrow at him, I nod in its direction, encouraging him to answer.

"Hello?" As I watch him intensely, his eyes widen in surprise.

"No, this is Edward, Mrs. Sweeney. That sounds lovely; let me ask Jasper."

He smiles at me widely, mirth dancing in his forest greens. "Mrs. Sweeney is closing down her kitchen for the night, and she's making herself a snack. So she wants to know if we're going out to eat. But if not, she would like to know if we would be interested in sharing some grilled cheese and a bowl of mixed fruit?"

I smile widely. Fucking Hale-Cullen dimples work every time, baby.

Walking towards him, gently squeezing his shoulder, I give him a small smile. "If that's what you want to do, sweetness, it sounds lovely to me. I don't mind staying in and relaxing for now."

He returns my smile before returning his attention to the phone. "Mrs Sweeney, that sounds lovely. One of us will be down to pick up the tray. We wouldn't want you to have to walk back up all those stairs just for us."

Within half an hour, we're sitting Indian style on the bed, two plates topped with delicious grilled cheese, a big bowl of fresh mixed fruit and a six pack of beer. Yep, you heard me right, beer. Mrs Sweeney handed it to me with a wink, informing me that Mr. Sweeney wouldn't miss it, and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

After clearing the dishes and leaving the tray outside the door as Mrs Sweeney requested, I stroll nonchalantly toward Edward, who's knocking back the rest of his beer and playing with the remote control. Taking it from his hand, I lean in and kiss his forehead.

"Wanna take a bath me with me, sweetness? Maybe try to ease our weary bones?"

He sighs deeply before removing his t-shirt, flinging it in the direction of the armchair. Lying back across the bed, he releases the top button of his now overly tight ass jeans. His gaze is lustful and wanton - hooded forest greens sparkle. I watch in amazement as the dim light from the nightstand makes his dark orbs dance.

As I stare in awe, I'm unable to breathe, the thick, hard lump in my throat making it impossible to do so.

Slender fingertips glide seductively along his neatly trimmed happy trail, dancing playfully across roped muscles and tight abs. As he takes one pebbled nipple tenderly between long, lean fingers, he moans softly, his head falling gently to the side, the sensation making his eyes flutter closed. Playfully, he bites his moist bottom lip as his plump pink tongue swipes leisurely over the sweetly distressed flesh.

My chest rumbles as a deep heavy groan roars up and out of my strangled lungs. Fuck!

His eyes open slow and heavy, continuing to taunt me, as he resumes his manipulations, sliding his hand up and over his long tight torso, gliding up his lean smooth neck, bringing it to rest lazily behind his glorious fucked up head. My breath hitches, gasping slightly as I'm brought up short. Cause suddenly the fucker winks gleefully and smiles devilishly in my direction.

Enthusiastically and hurriedly, I remove my shirt and jeans, awkwardly fumbling and swaying from side to side. Edward chuckles loudly at my antics as I try my very best to eye him sternly, making my brow furrow, and eyes squint angrily. But the fucker ain't buying it. He continues to laugh his ass off, nearly putting a damper on this very fucking romantic moment. Just nearly!

Once down to my boxer briefs, I slither along Edward's slightly trembling body. With my hands on the bed at each side of his thighs, I begin my climb, gently catching the material of his jeans between my teeth and tugging lightly as I climb up and across my boy's fuck hot body.

His head lifts a little off the bed, giving him a better view of what I'm up to. His chest heaves strongly as short slow pants gust from his parted lips.

Reaching the opened button of his pants, my teeth tug sternly on the zipper, pulling it further down as my lips grab each side, making the opening wider.

My eyes meet his as my hot breath fans his dark trimmed hair, making his belly expand and contract in excitement and anticipation. I take this opportunity to dip my tongue into the opening of his jeans, dragging it strongly up and over the hair line. Edward growls, making my body shudder, but not before taking a hardened nipple between my teeth.

His back arches as he presses his chest tightly into my face, and I release it with a lick, intending to ease the sting left behind by my eager bite.

Finally above him, hovering ghost-like, making sure not one part of our bodies touch - I want his anticipation to grow hard - and I kiss his awaiting mouth. The kiss is soft and moist, our lips melting together, knowing they belong. I let my tongue swipe across his plump bottom lip, requesting entrance. And as he opens wide, he licks broadly along my own before pressing his hard to the back of my throat, making me groan deep, the sound vibrating in our mouths.

A muffled "Fuck!" echoes in the back of our throats.

I let my hips drop, laying the weight of my hard cock against him, rubbing eagerly. We both groan deep and loud as I try my best in my need and lust not to pound the boy right through the fucking mattress. His legs wrap around my waist as his hands and fingers reach into my hair. Our chests are heaving, gliding, sweaty and delicious over each other. Bringing my hand around, I cup his head, grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck and holding his face in place as I let my mouth devour his swollen lips and steal his panting breaths.

And as suddenly as it started, its over. Fuck! Fuck! Goddamn Fuck!

As I lean back, panting hard, trying my fucking best not to feel the need to kill dead things right now, I look at him somewhat sternly. I know I'm being a fucking prick, but I just can't help myself right fucking now. I'm pissed.

Taking a long, deep breath, I whisper harshly, "Edward."

And nothing. Making me more pissed. I repeat even more determinedly and sternly, "Edward, fucking answer me now."

And as his body falls limp beneath me, his head turns to the side, making it nearly impossible for me to hear his nervous whisper: "I'm sorry, Jasper."

I lean back slowly, my body not wanting to leave the warmth and lust of my beautiful boy, but needing the distance, cause right now, it's in fucking shock and disbelief. It can't comprehend what the fuck just happened.

I try to rein in my anger and control my shaking hands as I crawl to the corner of the bed, letting my legs fall over the side before slumping my shoulders to enable my head to drop heavily into my awaiting fists. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Just fuck this to all hell, I chant silently as I pound my forehead on my white-knuckled tight fists.

I feel his hand on my shoulder, the heat from his touch burning into my soul. But my head's pounding, and I really don't give a shit. I can't help it - I've been pushed just way to Goddamn far right now.

I shake him off sternly before jumping from the bed angrily as I spit in his direction. "Don't fucking touch me, Edward. And I don't need your fucking sorry. Just leave me the fuck alone!" The muscles in my back tremble, then tense again. "I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood to hear 'WHY?' right now. Forgive me for not fucking understanding."

I take a few strides to the bathroom, not even bothering to turn on the fucking light or glance in his direction. I slam and lock the door, and sit my sorry ass down on the cold tile. My back thuds hard against the door of the cabinet behind me as I bring my hands up, trailing them roughly through my hair, pulling on the roots. Unable to hold back anymore, I let my emotions take over and sob hard and loud into the cold bathroom air. My throat hurts, my head's spinning out of control, my vision is blurring from the tears as I let them fall freely down my face and onto my shirt.

I see his shadow under the door, the dim light from the bedroom washing over the cold tile of the bathroom, giving it a warm red glow. The thought of him just being on the other side a few inches away makes me want to reach out and touch him. So in the cold, dark room, I bring my palm in full contact with the cool wood of the door, pressing down hard, hoping in some way to catch his vibe and feel his warmth, maybe connect with his heart. As he moves closer, I hear his heavy sobs making my chest tighten and my heart break. Pulling away quickly and running my hands through my hair, I remind myself bitterly that I'm pissed right now, and he has to understand what this is doing to me.

Sometimes I wish he wouldn't get my hopes up so much. He knows I can't refuse him. He knows my body longs for his touch, making me weak as I yearn for him, but still he pushes me, still he puts me through this fuckery. And truthfully, it's getting Goddamn old, and I don't think my heart can take anymore pain. It's hard enough thinking about the agony and anguish he's gone through, and what he goes through on a daily basis. The thought alone threatens to make me a lesser man, but to be physically brought into his daily hell rips at my heart and exposes each and every nerve, leaving me drained and doubting.

He knocks on the door quietly, his body closer. I know because I sense him. I know because he's in me, all around me. I breathe him. I watch the door give slightly under the pressure of his lean. But I don't say a word. Any sound I could even try to make is caught in my throat, threatening to strangle my lungs. I just nervously hold my breath. My chest hiccups as hard rough sobs rumble through my form, making me shudder in pain, sadness and grief.

He knocks again, this time a little louder, as he whisper softly, "Jasper, babe, you OK? I'm so sorry, sweetie."

Rubbing my hands over my face roughly, and in a shaky, hoarse voice, I answer him, a little more sternly than I'd like: "Edward, please give me a fucking minute. I'll be fine. Just let me be right now."

"But Jasper…"

And not able to hold back and control my anger, I raise my voice louder than I have even spoken to Edward before: "But fucking nothing, Edward! I need fucking time right now. You need to back the hell off and give me that time. I'm sorry to say I'm a little Goddamn pissed and confused, and before ya go off, it's not all with you, it's at myself and this whole fucked up situation."

"Jasper, I'm so sorry, I... I… wis...wish... I could fix it," he whispers nervously, but gently, like he's trying to tame a wild animal.

His back hits the door hard and the frame sways. I watch the filtered light disappear, and the door gives as he presses himself to it. So he's now sitting on the floor outside the Goddamn door.

I speak softy, not trusting my voice to remain calm for too long.

"I know you do sweetness, believe me, I know you do. But that doesn't make it any easier. That doesn't make it go the fuck away."

"I...I… wis... wish it would, Jasper. I... wis… wish I could just forget everything that ha... has happened, and move on."

My head falls to my hands and my chest tightens, making me fist my shirt trying to ease the pain.

"I know you do, Edward. I'm not asking you to do that, baby. I'm asking you to bear with me and understand where I'm coming from. I'm dying here, baby. I'm slowly, but surely, dying."

"I...I...I..." he stutters, trying to catch his own straining breaths.

'I know, Edward. Believe me, I know. I'm just trying my Goddamn best to understand."

"Edward, I'm worried. It terrifies me. We have babies coming, they'll be here before we know it."

I… know, Jasper. It worries me too. That's why I... need to speak to m...my… father, and... soon."

Taking a deep breath, I let out my fear. "And Goddamn it, Edward, they will not come into a home that's broken. Believe me, I know firsthand they would rather come from a broken home than a home that's broken. And I won't fucking have it, Edward. You hear me? I won't have it."

Our cries are now louder. Our sobs echo throughout the walls. Hiccuped breaths bounce angrily in the night air.

'Jas… Jasp…Jasper, please... help me."

I stand, turning towards what I'm hoping is the sink. I fumble for the water faucets, letting the cold water run freely between my fingers, then cupping my hands under the running water, throwing it in the direction of my face. I'm fucking pissed at myself. I'm mad that I can't control my anger right now. I've always been a hothead, but never to the point of where I've taken it out on my boy. And the thought that Alec fucking Volturi has created this fuckery just makes me want to kick his Goddamn teeth down his Goddamn throat again. So help me God.

Now I'm banging on the counter, feeling my bones hurt and my skin swell with every hit. My head is spinning with loving memories from our past, when everything was right and good. Then they're followed with the black and white snapshots of the fuckery it's become. And I'm pissed. I can't stop my body from shaking so hard. I'm pissed that I can't fix it. My hands are trembling and sweaty. But overall I'm just fucking pissed.

And then I'm pulled up short as Edward starts knocking a little harder on the door.

"Jasper, please open the door. I need to see you, and I hear you banging around. If you continue, you're going to hurt yourself."

I turn the water off and let my hands search for a towel, which I know is somewhere in the vicinity, cause I'd spotted it earlier. When my fingers come in contact with the soft terrycloth, I bring it eagerly towards me, rubbing it roughly over my swollen tear-stained face.

Pressing each hand to either side of the doorframe, I lean in, noticing from the light that he has made it to his feet again, probably mirroring my same stance. I close my eyes while taking a deep, heavy breath before speaking, trying to sound calm and controlled.

"Edward I need you to get ready for bed. There's a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt in the top drawer of the dresser. Please put them on and get yourself under the covers."

I hear the drawer open and him shuffle around as I pace the bathroom floor, trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do now, how the hell to make this right and set us straight. And then I hear his hushed whisper, my ears straining to hear his soft voice.

"I'm in, Jasper. I'm ready."

Leaning against the frame once more, I speak softly. A strained cry catches in my throat, but I'm hoping he'll understand. "Go to sleep, Edward. Get some rest. We'll talk again in the morning."

My back hits the wall as my heavy, weary body slides slowly to the floor with a thud. Bringing my knees to my chest, I hug them tight. Laying my head on my knees, I sob, angry and sore, and in the still of the night, and the whisper of the wind, I hear him. My heartbroken boy mirrors my pain and anxiety as his own heart breaks and he painfully cries for the loss of our once so easy love and trust.


	22. Pancakes Pushy and Persistent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always a big thank you to my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, have to thank her, and I really think my boys are growing on her, she won't own up to it yet but I can see if in her eyes...
> 
> I want to give a huge thank you to the awesomeness that is Prassacut author of Roads for pre reading this chapter I have learned so much and will be forever grateful.
> 
> Roads an E/J story... Is on my faves so go check it out cause if you haven't you don't know what your missing...And you'll be the only one in the room not knowing the first thing about Kinky Butler Sex. And you don't want to look stupid now do you?...
> 
> Now lets go find out what Jasper and Edward Hale-Cullen and Mrs Sweeney have been up too...

Fuck! I'm blind! I can't fucking see! What the hell?

Then it dawns on me as my body struggles and protests above the hard tile. I'm still lying on the fucking bathroom floor. Bringing my hands up, I wipe my eyes gently, trying to open them, my lashes hard and stiff under my touch. Trying to sit, I groan. Fuck! is anything God damn easy anymore, and can or will it ever be?

My body hurts. Every bone creaks, every muscle aches as I pull myself sleepily to my feet. The sun shines dimly through the small bathroom window, spreading a deep yellow glow over everything it comes in contact with, making it look warm; but if so, then why am I shivering? Wearily raising my head, I get to see for the first time an image I had feared ever having to become acquainted with. It was me! But not.

The person looking back at me was only half the man I really was. This stranger's reflection in the mirror looked deathly. His hair was weak and limp, his completion hard, his gaunt eyes swollen and red rimmed, lips chapped and bitterly dry. Reaching for the faucets, I run the water warm as I roll my hands under the calming steam. Fresh tears threaten to dampen my weary sockets.

Fuck! Is this it? Is this what we have become? Where the fuck do we go from here? How the fuck do I, Jasper Hale-Cullen, start to fix this fucking Goddamn mess, and start healing my poor heartbroken loving boy? And who the hell do I think I'm kidding? It's not just him needing the healing - we both need to take control of this total fuckery. So I guess when we get back to town, Edward won't be the only one asking my father-in-law for help.

Shit! My head pounds as I wipe the small soft towel over my tight, swollen flesh. Running my wet fingers through my hair, I spot the toilet bag, retrieving my toothbrush and paste. I continue trying my best to awaken some, if any, little glimpse of the man I once was.

Glancing up again, my face pains. Shit! Nothing's gonna fucking work with this crap. I pee before straightening my clothes, thinking to myself wearily how desperately I really need to bathe right now. But Christ, that's just gonna have to wait, cause there's way more important shit to tend to.

The thought makes me nervous. My belly churns, the cramps making my chest hurt. Placing my hands on either side of the mirror, I lean in, trying to stretch and ease the pain and anxiety, the muscle threatening to steal whatever sense of calmness I have left in my soul.

Shit! Just shit this to all hell.

Clutching at my chest, I'm back to my knees, trying to ease the pain. I rock, rolling back and forth on my heels. This is such fucking bull shit! Why the hell is this happening? This is all my fault! This happened because of me!

I knew what Volturi was up to. Shit, I sensed it deep down in my bones, and all I fucking did was warn his sorry ass. And the worst of it was the only thing I probably accomplished was to just piss him off even more.

Fuck! All my fault.

I would have loved to have pushed him further, but I chickened out. I wasted Goddamn time. I let my concern for Edward control my actions and reactions. I really should have just kicked his sorry ass that first night, instead of settling for my fist in his Goddamn ugly face.

Standing again, I punch the countertop one more time, having to shake off the pain while doing a little two step in the process. Fuck! That hurt! Tears threaten behind my lids. Fuck! No. Not happening.

But still they deluge.

Sobbing hard and heavy, I turn the water back on full force, this time sticking my whole head under its flow. Reaching for the towel again, I rub my head steadily, pulling and pressing the wet strands, roughly tugging them between my fingers and scratching at my scalp.

As I stand, I take a worried peek in the mirror, the image making me divert my eyes. I look torn and stressed, worn out and depressed. I really need to pull my ass together and find my inner strength if my intentions are to get us through this.

Pulling my hands down my face, then running them through my hair, I suck whatever air I can find deep into my struggling lungs. My chest tightens, but I ignore it the best I can. Grabbing the mouthwash, I swirl a capful in my throat - the bile from the previous evening threatening to pay me another visit - before spitting it in the sink as I turn the faucets off.

Reaching for the door, my fingers fold shakily around the handle. I take one last deep breath, trying to steal and brace myself for what's to come.

I open it slowly. It creaks under the pressure, but my body stays slightly behind the wooden panel, cause truthfully, right now my feet won't fucking move. I nervously glance around the opening, the sight - other than the bright light - makes my eyes sting with ushered tears.

Lying in front of the door on the floor is my amazing boy, curled up under the bed's comforter, his fucked up hair sticking up every which way over the pillow beneath his weary, worried head. His arms outstretched, fingertips right below where the door would have been before I opened it. And my heart breaks just a little more as I swallow hard, my pulse racing. He needed to be close - he needed my care - and all I did was fucking fail him.

Again, it's my fault.

Kneeling, I slowly but carefully raise the comforter.

He stirs, but remains sleeping. His eyes dart frantically under his weary, swollen lids. His beautiful, plump lips are slightly parted as he pants soft, hot breaths into the air, gently fanning my face. Fuck! He's so beautiful, even when sad and worried.

As I crawl under - drawn by his glorious heat, I slowly, but surely, lay my heavy, weary head against the soft comfy pillow. I frown angrily to myself - God, I'm such a douche! My sorry ass slept on the bathroom floor when I could have been snuggled up under this comforter with my amazing boy.

As I melt and mold to his unadulterated warmth, entwining our limbs - gently lifting his thigh and placing it carefully over mine - he stirs momentarily, a small heavenly moan resounds throughout the space.

Fuck! I'm hard again!' I really need to grow the hell up. But I can't help myself, he has always affected me this way.

His eyes flutter, lashes fanning his flushed cheeks as I watch in awe. He mesmerizes me. The sight of him makes my chest tighten, but this time in a good way.

Snuggling closer, I freeze! Cause he Goddamn tenses. I hear his breath hitch, feeling his chest tighten. Fuck!

Groaning internally, I'm pissed. But as I brace myself, intending to pull away, his hand and fingers slip somewhat shakily around my waist, his warm fingers finding their way up and under my t-shirt, drawing me closer to him. He whispers into my shoulder "Don't you dare move, Mister. You're staying put. I've missed you."

Smiling, I slip closer, as we tenderly wrap each other up in our warmth. "Missed you too, sweetness. Never want to do that again. I'm sorry, Edward. Really I am. I didn't mean to yell like that, especially not at you, babe."

His soft lips find my neck, the sensation making me shiver. His wet breath moistens my skin as he speaks. "Jasper, I love you with all that I have, but this thing - this fuckery as you like to call it - is killing us. I don't know where to even start to fix it." Pulling me tighter to him, he whimpers softly into my chest.

"Don't worry, Edward, we'll fix this. We'll get through this fuckery. It will take time, but we really need to talk and try to be as honest as we possibly can."

My lips search for his hungrily, yearning for his forgiveness, needing to be grounded. And when they meet, he doesn't disappoint. Everything we have is pushed screaming and kicking into this liplock. We grab each other's heads, pulling each other closer. Fingers find hair as palms run roughly over scalps. It's not lust, it's want. We need to forgive each other for our actions, needing to know deep down inside, that no matter what, we have each other.

Placing my hands on either side of his face, I pull back panting. Shit! Edward smiles widely, his swollen, sad eyes giving me hope. Kissing his forehead tenderly, I whisper, "Sweetie, let's take this to the bed; it's still early." I raise my eyebrows, trying to look stern, but somewhat questioningly. "Cause truthfully, babe, your husband's not as young as he used to be, and his old ass hurts right now."

And, oh my gravy, the song that rang in my tired old ears sounded like a well-sung opera. Edward flung back his beautiful fucked up head, stretching his long, lean neck to the sky, and gave out the most glorious laugh, ringing throughout the room, making my heart skip a beat for the joy it brought me.

Changing into my sleep pants and t-shirt, determined not to push the sex issue, I join my boy under the soft comforter. As my body eases into the soft mattress, I groan, and not in a good way either, this shit really hurts. My bones are screaming at me like they don't belong, so I take a few seconds trying to make my old ass comfortable.

Pulling him closer as we snuggle under, I feel Edward relax. Taking a deep breath, I try desperately to disguise the fear in my voice."Edward, tell me what happened. Tell me word for word what happened that night."

His body tenses and his fingers grasp at my shirt. "Please, Jasper."

Releasing him, I stare longingly into his slightly dim, scared eyes. "Edward, we need this. You need to tell me all your thoughts and fears from that night."

He pushes his face to my shoulder, gripping my t-shirt tighter. I feel his worried, heavy chest heave as small sobs vibrate through our bodies. I bring my hand up to his head, fingering lightly through his hair. I speak softly. "Edward, take your time. I'm here to listen. I think we need to understand what we both went through that night."

And with that, there's a knock at the door. We both jump like two scared kids, both of us releasing a yelp, looking around the room then at each other. Edward's eyes dart nervously between me and the sound.

Putting my hand on his shoulder reassuringly, I climb out of bed as the soft knocking continues. Opening the door, I have to take a step back, cause standing there with tray in hands is Mrs. Sweeney. Seeing the surprised look on my face, she eyes me sadly as she tries her best to look around me, getting all up on her toes and bending to her right. I smile widely at her. Moving to my left, not sure if I want her eying my husband while he's still in bed.

"Good morning, Mrs. Sweeney. What can I do you for?" My eyes dart questioningly between her face and the tray as I take worried glances over my shoulder to check on Edward, giving him a small smile.

I repeat my question, having to cough lightly to get her attention back to me. "Mrs. Sweeney, can I help you?"

She stares up at me, her worried look causing me some concern. Then she speaks in a quite hush: "Jasper, can I talk to you?" I raise my eyebrow in her direction before returning my eyes apologetically to Edward. Stepping out into the hall, I click the door quietly behind me.

Handing me the tray, she glances up at me sadly. Her small, somewhat worried actions concern me, making me raise both my eyebrows in her direction. "You OK, Mrs. Sweeney? Is there something you need?"

She places her chubby hand over mine as I take hold of the tray. My eyes follow her touch, then as I stare down at her again, she speaks in a low, shaky whisper: "Jasper, these walls," she points around the hall with a finger from her free hand, as she does her best to explain, "these walls are by no means thin, but when the house is quiet, and I only have a few guests, I guess sound can travel." Her hand on mine squeezes slightly before giving me a soft rub. Her skin feels warm and soft. I feel my body relax a little into her comfort. "Honey, I heard you last night, well not really heard," she explains quickly as she watches a surprised and shock look enter my face.  
"I heard your quite angry whispers. I overheard some crying and a door slam, not that I'm mad that someone is slamming my doors, mind you, I'm just saying I heard it."

I open my lips, trying to explain or apologize, but she stops me, placing a fat, soft pointer finger on my now gaping mouth.

"Let me explain something to you, son." She eyes me, searching for a reaction to her term of endearment, but all I can do is smile and nod. "I've owned this fine establishment since before you were born, and if I've learned anything, I've learned people. Don't get me wrong, it's not always a good thing, but for the most part, it has served me well."

Her squeeze on my hand becomes firmer, like she senses my tension and is trying to calm me a little. Her eyes close as she takes a deep breath, looking like she needs to steel herself before continuing. " Jasper, I sense that you and your husband are going through a little trouble right now. Am I right?" I nod slowly as she continues. "I sense that you guys are here to maybe sort something out? And believe me, I won't pry."

Raising her eyebrow, she gives me a small smirk, making me return her smirk somewhat knowingly as I think to myself, That Mrs. Sweeney looks like a lady that if she wanted to know something, she would find it the hell out wither you wanted her to or not. So all I can do is nod at her in understanding.

"Jasper, sweetie," I can't help smiling wider, and this time the dimples come out to play all by themselves, "I know the both of you are only here for a few days, but I want you to take all the time you need. I don't have any guests until next week, and the ones that are here now, leave in a hour or two. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you and Edward need the time, take it."

Opening my mouth to speak, she gives me a stern look, making me shut up real quick. "I'm saying it's on the house, if you need to be here the rest of the week, take it. You'd being doing me a bit of a favor anyways.

"See, Mr. Sweeney had to leave early this morning. He has a family matter to deal with out of town, so I'll be by myself, if you know what I mean. You could help me around the place and maybe run an errand for me once and while?"

I smile widely as I pucker my lips, putting on my best thinking face. "Mrs. Sweeney, you are so kind, and I'll be forever grateful. Let me speak with Edward. Let me get his input, then I'll get back to you. Is that OK?"

As her little fat, chubby hand that was once squeezing mine now travels up my arm, she smiles wider. "Jasper, take your time; I'll understand. But do me a favor please. Join me for dinner tonight. I need some company, and I have a feeling we all could use a few laughs and a little drink." And as she turns to leave me to my musing and wonderment, she smiles widely over her shoulder. "And not that stupid beer you guys drink, I'm talking the hard stuff, Jasper, so be prepared to be dazzled." And with that, she wobbles her little plump body shakily down the stairs.

Returning to the room, I smile, finding Edward still under the covers. He turns, surprised, but questioningly. As I place the tray on the bed, I explain my discussion with a somewhat pushy Mrs. Sweeney. At first, he looks concerned and worried, and a little angry; but soon, his sad turned to glad when I explained her wanting us to stay for a few extra days. His head nods as his lips pucker, looking to the side, probably contemplating her offer.

"Can we do it, Jasper?'

"Huh! What, sweetness?" I replay as I busy myself by dishing out what looks to me like some very tasty pancakes.

"Can we stay for a while? I think it will do us good. And Mrs. Sweeney is growing on me a little."

I look up, cause he has caught me off guard. A piece of bacon floats in midair between my lips and fingers.

Raising my eyebrow, I question,"You want to stay?"

"Yes, for for a few days at least. We have a lot to discuss, we need answers. And I think this is the perfect place to do that."

And as our eyes sparkle with excitement and knowing, we steal longing glances and tender smiles. Enjoying each others company as we eat in comfortable and peaceful silence.

When we finish our breakfast, I place the tray on the dresser, giving myself a little reminder to take it down later, not wanting Mrs. Sweeney to have to bother walking up all those stairs just to retrieve it.

Returning to the bed, I slip in, rejoining a happy and relaxed, fed Edward, smirking at him as he gives me his best 'What?' look. "Nothing, babe, just nice to see you relaxed and contented." He wraps himself around me, hugging me tight, kissing my shoulder in the process. I sigh deeply. In these moments, I see hope, I have faith and I long for our future.

As I lay in my musing, I sense his kisses climbing over my body. His fingers glide happily up my stomach tenderly, playing with my pierced nipples. Moist lips find purchase everywhere they land, eagerly sucking on my skin and tugging on my t-shirt.

He surprisingly raises himself off the bed, continuing his manipulations on my torso, then pushing me back, he straddles my thighs, wrapping his arms around my neck and attacking my mouth with utmost want and passion. Then I freeze, cause he grids his now very hard cock up against mine. The sensation makes me growl deep in my chest, but the reminder of last night's escapades pulls me up short.

I turn my head, sternly grabbing at his wrists, pushing him back a little. Not wanting to, but feeling the need, I look into his dark, sad eyes, knowing and hoping that he finds in my returned stare the same confusion and worry.

"We can't, Edward, not right now."

He pulls me tighter to him, his arms holding on like his life depends on it, and I give him the same hopeful hold in return. "I want to try, Jasper," he whispers, his moist breath fanning my ear, making my spine tingle with anticipation. "I want to at least try. I love and miss you. I want you to help me - at least try with me. We could talk though it, maybe that would help?"

Pulling him back, I place both my hands on either side of his face.

"Edward there is nothing I want more than to be with you like that. Fuck! My body yearns and needs you so fucking badly right now, I can't think straight. But I know better now, I know once we've started, it will come to a sudden stop. And truthfully, Edward, I can't take it. My heart can't take it. The rejection is just too much for me."

I eye him warily. My chest is heaving, the sadness I feel threatening to consume me.

"Please understand - it's not anger or pain with not getting the fuck off. It's more than that! If the latter was the case, I'd go to the shower and jerk the fuck off. But it's not that, cause jerking the fuck off won't solve anything. It's the pain of not having you, it's the anger from not being able to fix this fuckery. And most of all, I get mad because I feel I've lost you - us - our togetherness and our happy lives."

He pulls back, his eyes pained and damp, but I hold strong. I need him to understand where I'm coming from. Then in a hushed, strained whisper, he proceeds. "I was fucking scared, Jasper! My heart and soul had never felt so much fear in all my life. And I wanted you! I needed you! And you weren't there for me!

Gripping me tighter to him he gasps into my neck. "I was terrified! I was fucking terrified, Jasper! And you weren't Goddamn there."

Straining my neck, twisting slightly I watched in my own pain as my poor boy fell apart before my very eyes, tears flowing freely down his flushed cheeks as he relives our nightmare.

But no matter how torn and drained, he does his best to struggle on through his heavy sobs.

"I knew I was being stupid, Jasper. I understood why you weren't there. In my heart, I knew that if you could have been, you would have been. But it didn't fucking help that Volturi was using it as ammunition against me. He taunted and tormented me for hours, trying his best to break me.

"But I didn't break, Jasper! Not once did I forsake us." Shaking his head frantically from side to side.

As he continued, I listened patiently, trying to ease his pain with my touch, trying to mend his broken heart with soft kisses; and in return, he follows my lead. Each of us is holding, touching, wanting to be released and escape from our inner pain.

I watch him carefully try to regain some control of his emotions, so lost in my thoughts, I nearly miss his strangled whisper.

"I feel dirty, Jasper! Broken and dirty! I feel lost!" His chest heaves with heavy sobs. He grips at his t-shirt tight as the fingers from his outstretched hand sink slowly and painfully into my own.

"I know I'm being stupid, Jasper. I just don't feel right. I try and I think I am, but then suddenly I'm not. I don't want to feel dirty, broken or lost anymore, Jasper. I want to feel you - I want to feel your warmth and comfort again - I want us."

As we wipe each other's tears and try our best to ease each other's hurt, our bodies tremble and shiver. I do my best to explain what was going through my head and what was in my heart that night. I told him about my dream (or should I say nightmare?), explaining in depth that not knowing where he was and even if he was safe tore at my heart. I tell him what happened in the basement and explain the fuckery at the hospital. I do my best to be truthful as I pour my hatred for Alec Volturi out on the table.

This conversation is honest, pure, painful and anguished. We don't hold back. Our hearts are breaking as our souls sink in despair, but as the words are spoken and the anger is poured out into the room and upon ourselves, no touch is taken away, no caress is held back, there are no questions left to be answered, no fear and worry to be sought after. We pour our pain into this moment. We take this opportunity to reconnect our weary souls.

And as we lay wrapped in each other, not so broken or hurt, but drained and depleted, we cradle our bodies as we rock slowly, the flowing tears cleansing and hushed breaths comforting each other's wants and needs. As we calm and bask in our new found knowing and understanding, feeling somewhat hopeful, the air in the room seems thinner, easier to breathe, as we lie taking hearty gulps into our lungs, finding for the first time in weeks that it comes effortlessly.

A few hours later, I wake, blinking in the afternoon sun. As I squint, I look around wearily, feeling Edward stir beside me. He pulls me closer, holds me tighter, and the move contents me. Oh how much things have changed from a few days ago when I had to take a perch by the bed because of all his turning and tossing. I press into him firmer, his fingers finding need in my shirt, his soft breath fanning my neck and his sweet moan elating me, making me pull him even further - if possible - to me.

Fingering his hair, I lean to his ear, and in a soft, calm voice, I speak gently. "Baby, let's take a shower together. I don't know about you, but I'm in dire need of a wash. We should get dressed anyway, and go see what Mrs. Sweeney has in store for us."

He stirs a little, pulling me tighter. "Don't wanna."

I chuckle softly to myself and reply, "It's got nothing to do with wanna, honey. It's need, and we really need right now."

"OK, if we have to, but know I'm doing this under duress. I would rather just lie here and be lazy."

Pulling myself off the bed, laughing softly, I bring him with me to his feet. "Get naked, Edward, we need to bathe." I eye him as he smirks devilishly. I raise my eyebrows "Don't be getting any ideas, mister, we need to wash and get the fuck out of this room pronto."

As I stand in the bathroom in my boxers, running the water between my fingers before placing the shower curtain carefully around the claw foot tub, not wanting to make a mess. I sigh in disappointment. Shit! I really wanted to try this out. But alas, it will have to wait. Maybe by the time our stay is over, we'll get to play in it for a while.

I'm smiling to myself when Edward walks in - and shit! - he steals my breath. There in all his fucked up glory is a naked Edward, faded bruises bites and all. I see him tremble slightly, making my chest hurt a little, but he smiles knowingly.

His eyes dart around the small space, suddenly looking self-conscious.

Quickly removing my own underwear, trying my best to even the playing field. He smiles widely, and, in return, so do I.

I carefully step under the spray. Holding back the curtain, I reach out my hand. Edward eyes it warily, but as I wiggle my fingertips, he smiles even wider, taking my hand in his. It's a rain forest spray, so the water flows and covers both of us, releasing deep, hearty groans from our heavy chests. Grabbing the body wash, I pour some into the palm of my hands before lathering it up between my fingers, signaling to Edward to spin with my soapy pointer finger.

My hands mold to him as he melts under my touch. This is easy - this is us - this we can do. Edward sighs deeply with the feel of my hands roaming his tight muscled body. I know every inch of him, every nook and cranny. My fingers play on his skin, my palms pressing hard, easing his tensed, roped back.

His breathing is labored and shallow as his hips sway gently, peace falling over him. His head hangs back heavily. He leans into my touch, making my breath hitch. As his weight melts with me, I have to steady myself, trying my best to control my want and need for him.

Turning him to face me, I fall gently to my knees. I feel him tense slightly, but I do my best to ignore it. Taking his foot in my hands, laying my head on his thigh, I continue to wash.

I'm nervous, and my hands are shaking, but I'm determined to accomplish my task at hand. We will get through this shower without it being sexual. We need to reconnect,needing to remember where we started and how we've come this far.

When I've completed my task and he's done, I place him under the spray. He's eying me warily, giving me sideways glances, but I'm not paying him any mind. I can almost hear the wheels turning in his pretty little head. He's waiting for me to pounce. He's trying to anticipate my next move,but each time he catches my gaze, I just smile and continue with what I'm doing.

Proceeding to wash myself, I stop abruptly. His hands are on me, his soft, gentle touch easing my nerves and calming my soul. He follows my every move, even down to laying his forehead on my thigh. The only change being when he is about to stand, he places one opened mouthed soft kiss against my skin as he makes it to his feet. I pull him to me, taking his lips, but letting him know I wanted his tongue. And with only a little teasing, it comes out to play. We hold each other, fingers roam and press, chests heave as our breathing becomes somewhat labored.

Pulling away, not wanting to take this too far, I smile tenderly into his sparkling dark eyes. "We have a lady waiting for us, sweetness. Maybe it's time we got a move on. Don't ya think?'

Grabbing my face with his hands, he pulls my mouth to his, placing a hard, but short, kiss upon my swollen lips. Leaning back, he smiles softly. His eyes dance with mischief, making my heart skip an awaiting beat. Then as he kisses my neck and shoulder, he whispers, "And who are we to keep a lady waiting? Let's go see what she has in store for us. Can't wait to see what we're having for dinner, cause I'm getting hungry - which means, mister, you're starving," poking me in the belly and making me jump.

Turning off the water, we both step gingerly out of the tub, heading to the room to get dressed. And as we rush around readying ourselves, I sense the lightness. I feel the hope making me sigh deeply with contentment.

We enter the kitchen to find Mrs. Sweeney fussing around, her little plump body wobbling as she moves. Her form is squeezed tightly into a shocking pink apron.

Edward releases a chuckle at her expense. Heck, the sight of her dancing around the space opening and closing cupboard doors makes us both giggle.

She turns in surprise, and as she eyes our joined hands, she smiles widely, making her baby blues sparkle. She waves her oven-mitt covered hand at us, encouraging us in, letting us know she won't bite. I chuckle to myself, cause really I think given half the chance, she would.

"Jasper, Edward, I'm so happy you're able to join me for dinner. You're such gentlemen to grant an old lady like me your company. Hopefully it won't be to painful for you both." She giggles like a school girl as she fusses around her big country kitchen. As she moves around somewhat swiftly for a woman of her size, she barks out orders, telling us what to do and what she needs.

The conversation is free and light. She asks us questions, and is not afraid to find out the answers, making Edward and me glance at each other from time to time, surprised at just how open-minded Mrs. Sweeney, as a lady of her age, can be. Some of her questions were silly, making us laugh out loud, but we understood where she was coming from and we answered her willingly and as truthfully as possible.

Then she shocks us both when she lets out a little yelp.

"What the fu...?" I bite my lip, cutting off the word.

Edward gives me a stern look, his eyes darting between Mrs. Sweeney and me, before he scolds, "Jasper Hale-Cullen! You kiss your husband with that mouth?"

Mrs. Sweeney stops what she's doing and lets loose a healthy, hearty laugh. "Oh my, Edward, I say that to my husband all the time when he uses his potty mouth. It's nice to see it's being picked up by the younger generation." She raises her eyebrow, smirking gleefully at us both.

Mrs. Sweeney continues to stare in my direction, and still I wait, raising my brow before inquiring. "Well?"

She stares harder at me, confused. "Well what, Jasper?"

"You let out a yelp, Mrs. Sweeney. Are you OK? Are you hurt?"

"Oh shit!" The word makes Edward and me giggle like school kids before returning our attention back to her, and with a flushed face, she continues: " I nearly forgot we need crusty Italian bread to go along with our spaghetti and meatballs, and I don't have any. Jasper, would you be able to run to the store for me and pick some up? You all know the meal would never be complete without it."

I glance at Edward nervously, but he reassures me with a wide smile. Mrs. Sweeney fumbles for her purse as she eyes us curiously. "Edward, can you stay with me and help me finish up? I'm sure Jasper will find his way. It shouldn't take him too long. I promise it should be no time at all."

And as I glance at Edward, he nods happily. Mrs. Sweeney eyes me wearily before reaching out and covering Edward's hand with her own, giving us both a reassuring look.

"OK, then tell me where I have to go, and I'll be on my way. I'll be expecting dinner on the table when I get home, mister." I laugh, leaning over placing a soft kiss on his glorious plump lips.

Edward sighs deeply and his eyes close softly as his cheeks flush. Mrs. Sweeney giggles, making Edward flush deeper. The scene makes me laugh hard; I'm relaxed and at peace, making me feel lighter and overjoyed.

After getting my marching orders, I head out, realizing when I get to the door that I needed my keys. Running swiftly upstairs, I retrieve them and quietly make my exit. But before reaching the door, I freeze, cause I hear Edward and Mrs. Sweeney talking in the kitchen. And at first, their laughter is loud, but for some reason, it turns quiet and hushed, and the stillness makes me nervous. So I dare a closer listen, and move softly and quietly in the direction of the door. It's opened slightly, so all I have to do is lean against the frame and wait.

I listen nervously and curiously as Mrs. Sweeney explains to Edward how she wants a certain item chopped, making them both laugh, as I'm sure my boy gave her one of his devilish looks. The thought makes me grin madly, but I'm taken out of my musing when I hear her whisper softly.

"Edward, dear did Jasper happen to mention anything to you about what we discussed earlier?"

The chopping stops abruptly as he quietly replies to her question.

"Yes, Mrs. Sweeney, he did, and I want to thank you again for your kind offer. We just might take you up on your proposal."

And as I listen eagerly, the chopping continues.

I'm turning to leave when I hear Mrs. Sweeney question again.

"Is everything all right, son? You guys are okay, right?" She's moved a little closer to Edward now, her voice softer and full of concern.

The chopping slows, but doesn't stop this time. My boy's trying to act all nonchalant now, but as he speaks, I hear the sad pain in his husky voice. "We're good. We have something going on right now; but we're good."

Listening as drawers open and close, I sigh deeply at Mrs. Sweeney's concerned voice.

"Marriage is hard, Edward! No one as ever said it's easy, but for some reason, I don't think it's your marriage that's broken or in question here. I feel it's something more, something bigger than you both."

I hear Edward take strong, deep breaths; he's trying his best to control himself. My stomach flips with nerves. I want to walk in and end this madness and put a stop to his pain. But something tells me not to. Something tells me he needs this. So I stay put with patience and wait for his answer.

Then in a whisper so soft I almost missed it, I hear him. "I was taken." I hear something drop, making me tense, but still I stay in hiding. "Huh? What? Excuse me? Edward what did you just say to me? Did I hear you right?"

"You heard me right, Mrs. Sweeney. It's a long story, and I'd rather not get into it right now if you don't mind. But yes, I was taken and held against my will and for some fucking – oops, sorry, Mrs. Sweeney."

"It's okay, son. A little cussing never hurt anyone."

"Well for some reason, I can't seem to get the hell over it."

I hear her shuffle closer to my boy as she speaks softer.

"Come here, Edward. Come on! Come on! You need a hug, sweetie."

And as I hear them both sigh deeply in unison. Mrs. Sweeney continues, "If there's nothing else I've learned in all my years, it's that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And honey, when I watch you and Jasper, I see strength - lots of it - and an abundance of love. So if any couple can get through anything, it's the both of you."

A tear slips down my face as she continues, "You guys are madly in love. Oh please, I would have to be blind not to see it. And that big handsome fella of yours looks like he has the strength of many, and the patience to go along with it."

She fusses for a minute and then I hear Edward's strained quiet voice: "I think I've pushed him too far, Mrs. Sweeney. I think his patience with me is wearing thin. You heard us last night! Jasper has never really raised his voice to me, so last night makes me think he's finally reached the end of his rope."

I strain to hear Mrs. Sweeney speak, her voice muffled by what I'm thinking is Edward's hair as she hugs him tight.

"Nonsense, Edward! That boy loves you to pieces; it's in his every move and word. And for some reason, I think he starts his patience quota anew with each day that dawns. You have no worries there, sweetheart."

They are both sniffing and panting lightly as she inquires again. "Do you love him, Edward?"

He answers somewhat sternly, "Of course I do."

"Is he your everything?"

"Yes, he is, and always has been."

Then she giggles devilishly

"Do his kisses still make you drunk?"

Edward giggles. "Huh?" And then they both laugh.

"You know what I mean, Edward. Drunk, son, drunk. Do his kisses still make you drunk - weak at the knees, head spinning, belly flips - all the good stuff as in drunk."

And with a soft chuckle, Edward answers, "Yes, Mrs. Sweeney, his kisses make me very drunk at times."

And as I wipe the tears from my face and take a deep breath. Heading for the door quietly, I hear Mrs. Sweeney say gleefully, "Then all is good with the world. Everything will work out just fine, you can take my word for that. Now, mister, let's get this dinner finished, cause I have a feeling your husband will have both our hides if he returns and it's not on the table."

And as I click the door gently behind me, I leave with the laughter of Edward and Mrs. Sweeney ringing in my ears.


	23. Secrets Sweeney and Sexy Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, without her I would be lost- the woman is on vacation and still found the time to make this chapter look good. And for that I will be forever grateful.
> 
> And last but not least a big thank you to the amazing Prassacut author of Roads: For pre-reading this chapter. And once again if you haven't read the story please do so now- you will not be disappointed.
> 
> So now that I am a day late and a dollar short- for which I hope you all forgive me- lets get on with the story and go see what...
> 
> Mr Edward and Jasper Hale-Cullen along with their new friend Mrs Sweeney have been getting up to...

Upon my return, I let the door close loudly behind me, feeling the need to have my presence known, notably forewarning them of my arrival.

'We wouldn't want anyone jumping to the conclusion that I would intentionally eavesdrop on a private conversation now, would we?

I laugh childishly at my own expense, feeling the need to take this opportunity to interject a little of my own humor, and maybe try my best to lighten the mood somewhat- with the awesomeness of my infamous Ricky Ricardo impersonation.

As I yell out sarcastically, in my best, cleverest - but somewhat silly - Cuban accent.

"Hunnie - I'm - hooooome!"

I smile madly as my ears buzz - their mixed giggles and soft laughter float like feathers in the air around me. A sense of overwhelming serenity fills my weary heart, making my pulse pound rapidly throughout my once-lethargic chest - and for the first time in weeks, I am able to fucking breathe effortlessly.

My once-dormant organs drum frantically within my newly awakened body. The sensation tingles within me, keeping me alert and vigilant as tiny goose bumps dance like raindrops upon my ever-expressive skin. The mere thought of Edward and me finally heading the in right direction fills me with enthusiasm and conviction.

I inhale deeply, stealing this moment for myself, letting the wonder and awe wash over me, enabling me to drown in its tranquility. Edward's laughter plays like a symphony for my soul, making my tired, sore eyes flutter closed.

Inhaling deeply, I give in to the sensation of his soft velvet tones - shades of blues, greens and yellows -dance delicately behind my heavy lids.

Shit, is this happiness I feel? It's been so Goddamn long, I can't fucking remember.

I listen attentively as Mrs. Sweeney playfully orders Edward, in her soft voice, to fill the wine glasses. His childish huffing makes me smile, as in my mind, I imagine her pointing a short, plump finger in his direction, barking out her demands and making him snort playfully like a spoiled brat. And in return, she scolds him jovially.

My skin starts to tingle and flush with anticipation and promise, as my fingers twitch in excitement around the plastic bag carrying Mrs. Sweeney's fucking crusty Italian bread. You know me, guys, always the fucking optimist - OK! OK! Well maybe not always - but at least I fucking try - you have to give me points for fucking trying. Right

But the atmosphere that fills the space seems lighter and humorous. Their schoolyard antics flow excitingly throughout the summer night's heat and tap dance deliciously in my weary eardrums, making me grin foolishly to myself. As I said before people always the fucking optimist!

I'm grinning to myself, pleased at the thought of Edward finally being at peace after his confession - though hard and somewhat gut wrenching to hear, yet completely understandable. I knew exactly where he was coming from - his fear of me not being there for him was mirrored in my dream - or should I say fucking nightmare - of him no longer wanting me. So to judge him for his misunderstandings and misgivings would be hypocritical on my part - there is no guilt to be felt and nothing to forgive. That 'incident,' or fucking situation, caused us both to completely mind fuck. Alec Volturi, the bastard that he is, played us well, causing dormant fears to raise their ugly heads - but from this day forth, we're determined to move forward, hoping with all my heart that our love, faith and endurance will get us through.

I do my utmost to look nonchalant – Remember, I only said I try to be optimistic; try being the operative word here, guys - but feel the need to force myself, as I've lost the ability to be confident where Edward is concerned. This fuckery has stolen and crushed whatever confidence I had left, and the thought that I need to fight to achieve it pisses me the hell off even more.

Still feeling the need to impersonate, I push myself forward, striding awkwardly but playfully into the deliciously aroma-filled kitchen. A wide smile is planted firmly in place, and the hopes and dreams for a new future are tucked securely in my back pocket. I swing the plastic bag between my fingers, acting more like a school kid myself rather than a full-grown-ass man.

Mrs. Sweeney stops what she's doing abruptly and eyes the bag knowingly, then smirks devilishly before asking, "You found it okay, I see! Hmmm... Ricky?" She raises her wicked eyebrow in my direction. So without any hesitation on my part, I shoot her a sideways glance, and a returning smirk of my own, accompanying it with a wicked knowing wink as I eye her amusedly.

'You really underestimated this little old lady, didn't you, Mr. Hale-Cullen?'

Her nervous eyes dart around the kitchen, her sparkling baby blues propelling frantically between Edward's confused gaze and my knowing stare. She's wearing a look of guilt - terrified at being caught or maybe misunderstood. The shame written all over her round, weathered, flushed face makes me grin a little smugly at her discomfort. The anxiety causes her to nervously smooth her apron before running her fingers through her short, silver hair, drawing deep shaky breaths into her lungs. But as she straightens herself, she sneakily smiles up at me, and her plump cheeks redden even deeper as those baby blues start to shimmer with mischief and she childishly bats her delicate lashes in my direction.

Raising a surprised eyebrow, I scold jeeringly: "Stop that, Mrs. Sweeney, it won't work on me. I'm gay! And married! Remember?"

Her ringing laughter is intoxicating; it fills the room with warmth and comfort. And as I listen attentively, Edward decides to accompany her in her merriment, drawing my attention like a moth to a flame in his direction. I eye Edward longingly for the first time since my return, watching in amusement as he obediently pours the wine into the glasses. We both nod in understanding. His forest greens sparkle with hope and ambition, making me smile widely at the beauty and strength that is he and he alone.

His face is light and smooth, taking on the youthful look of our teenage years, and as he laughs along with Mrs. Sweeney, his head thrown back, neck stretched to the ceiling. I can't help but join them, and within seconds, our wondrous giggles, chuckles and hearty laughter fill the kitchen once more.

Approaching Mrs. Sweeney, I watch in amusement as she tenses slightly, making me smirk. I'm surprised that my appearance still somewhat and in some way intimidates her - plus the fact she's under the impression that I'm a little angry right now - making her a little anxious and uncomfortable.

Wanting to soothe her nerves and not cause the nice old broad a fucking heart attack, I slow my actions. My palms face her in surrender as I carefully, but tenderly, wrap her in my warm embrace. And as I hug her tight, her head rests and relaxes into my soothing touch, and I feel her body calm. Squeezing her to me softly, I speak low but firm, trying desperately to disguise the humor in my tone, doing my best to forge disapproval at her actions, but also wanting to convey my gratitude for her meddling loving ways. "I found it just fine, Mrs. Sweeney. Your directions were dead on. However, I'm assuming that you already knew that! Didn't you?"

Pulling her tighter, I ask questioningly, but playfully, "So what did you guys get up to in my absence? I hope you both behaved yourselves. Edward didn't give you any trouble now, did he?"

I kiss the top of her head as she sighs deeply and squeezes me back tenderly before letting me continue.

"But I have to say you guys did well, cause something smells really delicious. Is it time to eat yet? I'm sure Edward has warned you that I'm a growing boy, and if it ain't nailed down, I'll eat it."

She giggles softly into my jacket, and my breath hitches as I feel a gentle, moist kiss damping my t-shirt as it's placed upon my chest. Pulling her back, I stare into her overly-concerned, loving eyes watching as the corner to her pink lips curl up slowly, giving me a small, warm, understanding smile.

And as our eyes dart between each other's and a sense of peace floods me, I return her gaze, hoping to convey my gratitude and thankfulness for her uninvited but utmost appreciated meddling. Her damp sparkling orbs flutter closed and as she exhales deeply and returns my stare, I word silently, 'Thank you,' and with that, she nods knowingly and releases me from her hold.

I turn on my heels, placing the bread on the counter, trying my best to regain a little of my lost composure as I happily think to myself, Mrs. Sweeney might be a pushy old broad - but fuck does she know her shit. Note to self: Never underestimate the power and wisdom of age and pushy old fucking broads.

To have someone who gets it is huge. God only knows how long I've waited for this moment to arrive. Edward's happiness is all I've ever wanted. I made him a promise years ago to always try my best to put it first, and Goddamn it, if it kills me, I will not renege on that fucking promise.

The thought that Alec fucking Volturi tried to steal our happiness burns me up inside, making my blood boil and my heart turn cold and harden. It pisses me off to feel like this. I want my happy back, Goddamn it. I'm determined to fucking fight for it, no matter what, and with Mrs. Sweeney's assistance, I'll do my best to achieve it.

Fuck knows this shit can change in a heartbeat. I'm not going to lie; I'm scared fucking shitless right now. I have to remind myself to be always on my toes, and at least somewhat guarded. I don't think my poor heart can take much more off this crap or heartbreak. I really think I've filled my quota for a lifetime, if you know what I mean.

I'm taken out of my disturbing musing abruptly, silently kicking myself for letting the bastard invade my happy thoughts. As I hear their laughter continue, my heart lifts and I gladly push my hateful memories to the back of my weary mind.

Mrs. Sweeney eyes me curiously, sensing my inner turmoil and mind fuck. But I'm paying her stare no mind. Letting her push me gently to the side, her forceful shove makes me move quickly as my eyes widen in dread when I realize she possess one sharp-ass bread knife. She swings it in the air playfully between her fat little fingers, pointing it in my direction, doing her best to be threatening.

I make her laugh again as I act fearful, taking a jump back and letting loose a girly yelp. Edward giggles from behind me and as I shoot him a stern glare. I take a few steps further back with the understanding that this would not be the right time to fuck with this very smart, very scary- little old lady.

Feeling his heat and sensing his presence, I turn slowly, just in time to watch Edward pull up behind me. His warm hands slip firmly around my neck, his fingers finding purchase in my curls, as he pulls me closer to him. His blunt nails scratch lightly over my heated goose-bumped skin, and the sensation makes me groan softly as my mind loses all coherent thoughts and my dick does a happy dance in my pants. Smiling devilishly, I listen as Mrs. Sweeney giggles like a schoolgirl from her pervy perch off to our side.

I'm somewhat amused with the thought that there's still some life left in the old broad after all.

Returning my mind's attention back to my boy, I eye him curiously, and as his happy damp eyes flutter closed, his face turns upwards. His willing lips seek mine as he pulls me closer, gripping me tighter into his strong embrace, making me determined to cut his search short and not keep him waiting any longer. I eagerly find his awaiting pout.

I press my mouth tenderly upon his, and as our now eager, hungry, moist lips meet, a soft moan releases from both our jaded chests. Tired limbs weaken, and bones turn to mush as we rejoice in this heavenly connection. This kiss is tender, soft, slow and longing, stealing my breath and restarting my weary, damaged heart.

His tongue leisurely swipes along my bottom lip, and I feel my now hard cock twitch joyfully in my overly tight jeans, his heat and excitement release an eager groan from us both. My breath hitches as his hands wander over my shoulders, firmly slipping my jacket off, letting it fall to the floor.

His eager fingers travel down my back, making me shiver slightly. Goose bumps dance deliciously over my overly heated skin. Every nerve is jumping for joy, waving frantically, wanting nothing more than to have his tender touch glide seductively in their direction.

A small, soft, moist moan vibrates from deep in his chest, making my lips quiver at the sensation. A gush of air rushes from my lungs, and with one swift move, he covers my gaping mouth with his and steals my breath.

I feel his fingers trace my tattoo as he sighs wantonly onto my awaiting tongue. Bringing my hands up, I cup his head, making him lean effortlessly to the side, enabling me to slip my tongue further to the back of his awaiting, wanting throat. And as he moans deeply, he continues to leisurely and somewhat hypnotically finger my tat, causing me to relax and melt to him even more. I feel his other hand wrap around me tighter, pulling me firmly, enabling him to press his now hard cock solidly to mine. The sensation makes my head slightly spin as a slow building growl rumbles within my now not so weary chest. It's a small move to some, but at this moment, it means so fucking much.

My arms wrap around him tightly, making him rise slightly off the ground. Resting on the tips of his toes, his chest leans firm and strong against mine, as my hands cup his supple butt, pulling him closer. My engorged cock finds purchase against his. The rough denim extinguishes the need - but not the want - as my fingers slip slowly into the back pockets of his jeans, digging my blunt fingernails into his awaiting flesh.

And as his plump lips leave mine and wander my jaw and cheek, he finds my earlobe. Biting down gently, he whispers seductively, "Jasper, later, please?"

And as my eyes dampen and flutter slowly closed, realizing the fuckery that is now my life, my only response is to nod, listening as he repeats his request determinedly. " You Promise?" And yet again, all I can do is nod, wrapping myself in his warmth and pulling him tighter longingly.

We're taken out of our sex-hazed musing as Mrs. Sweeney giggles softly, punctuating it with a small cough. We both eye her devilishly, and somewhat embarrassed, our cheeks flushed due to our internal heat and want for one another.

However, her nod and knowing smile reassure us of her understanding. Her grin widens as her damp eyes dart anxiously between ours. She raises an eyebrow while inquiring smugly, "Ready?"

We both eye each other curiously. I raise my eyebrow seductively at Edward - cause fuck knows I'm always ready! - before we both return our gaze to her somewhat childishly.

And as the look of understanding crosses her plump, flushed face, she smirks knowingly before repeating her proposal somewhat shakily. "Dinner, boys! Are you ready to eat?"

And with that, we're all laughing joyfully. Mrs. Sweeney taps my arm, feigning disgust before meeting my stare and smirking appreciatively.

As we fuss and settle, the aromas deliciously dance across the table. Dishes are passed while food is served and our glasses clink. The conversation is light and amusing - questions regarding family and friends and inquires about our schooling and employment. And as much as Mrs. Sweeney finds interest in us, the little old lady has lived a few lifetimes of her own, making for some entertaining banter - her travels and strifes enthralling and captivating. And with each word she speaks or picture she paints, my respect for this adventurous old lady grows by leaps and bounds.

Our laughter fills the kitchen as our new found familiarity enables us to joke and jest at each other's expense. I take this opportunity to glance around the table. Edward smiles widely. His eyes sparkle with mirth, and as I reach out, I let my fingertips trace the soft skin covering the knuckles of his right hand. His fingers twitch under my touch, and as his white smile bites down gently, but playfully, imprisoning his plump bottom lip, his eyes slowly close with lashes fanning his reddened cheeks. My fingers entwine with his, and as our eyes meet, I blow him a silent, tender kiss.

Mrs. Sweeney smiles fondly when she catches my stare, nodding in understanding. Her eyes sparkle and dance with fondness and merriment as her chubby cheeks flush deep crimson. A teasing wink catches me by surprise as she mouths the silent words, "It's all good, Jasper."

I smile fondly in her direction. The woman is a force to be reckoned with. She hasn't missed a beat, all the while matching us drink for drink - and believe me when I say it's flowing freely. The wine is long forgotten, and a bottle of Mr. Sweeney's best bourbon has made its way magically to the table.

Well, maybe not so fucking magically. The old broad nearly killed herself, or at least broke her butt on her quest to find the fucking thing. I watched curiously as she scurried somewhat shakily across the kitchen floor, having to jump to my feet abruptly as I watched dumbfounded as her portly body attempted to pull a chair over toward a high awaiting cupboard, finding myself on my feet and by her side in seconds.

I chuckle to myself comically as I watch Mrs. Sweeney try her shaky best to mount the kitchen chair. Arguing with her playfully, explaining that I could never live with myself if something bad ever happened or she mistakenly caused herself any shape or form of bodily harm. I beg her to let me retrieve the bottle, and for her to sit back down at the table, as Edward desperately needs her company.

Eying him sternly, I try my best to convey my need for his help, so he calls her name childishly.

She turns her attention to him as he flutters his lashes all puppy dog like, making her smile gleefully, and I swear I see her swoon.

I huff playfully- as I roll my eyes sarcastically in his direction. 'I swear the boy forgets he's gay sometimes.'

The remainder of the night plays out peacefully. Sally! Oh yeah! You heard me right. Sally, AKA Mrs. Sweeney, has continued to capture our hearts with her loving, although a little drunken, ways and entertaining banter. Every now and then, I see her reach for Edward. As he smiles at her pleasantly, their eyes meet and sparkle in their no-longer so secret understanding.

And as I pause to daydream, watching in wonder and awe this jigsaw puzzle that is now us - as slowly but surely and at times painfully - reconnects. Since this fuckery began, I've sometimes felt like I'm living my own personal game of Tetris - always trying to make the pieces fit and the colors match, the burden of which has had me in a constant state of awareness - always anxious and a whole Goddamn lot on edge. But tonight's accomplishments are immeasurable. I feel my body relax and my soul soar.

Sally, with her undying words of wisdom and perpetual understanding, has given us that hope. Her want and need to see us whole - accompanied with a tender, soft, motherly voice - enchants and demands our utmost attention. And as we listen in awe, she advises in kind. Her melodic words are caring and concerned - pulling from past experiences and life mistakes. Her voice rises and falls, whispers and waves, her emotions sometimes getting the better of her. Her lips quiver as she swallows hard. Her voice strains with need, trying to make us understand and comprehend.

She urges us to take note and accept, deduce and distinguish- She begs for patience and faith, hope and love. She longs for us to remember and always reminisce - asking us to take heart as she explains in detail what she has observed when we think no one else is looking.

She asks hard questions while demanding honest answers. Edward and I sit side by side, leaning on each other for strength and reassurance. Unbeknownst to me, my arm slides tenderly along the back of his chair, caressing his shoulder lovingly and in understanding, as his warm, clammy palm cups my thigh, squeezing gently, consoling and encouraging with each and every truthful answer given.

As our night ends, we leave the confines of the cozy kitchen with full hearts and lightened souls. Burdens have been extinguished and promises have been made. Throats sore from discussion, eyes damp from laden tears and brains a little swamped thanks to Mr. Sweeney's best bourbon.

Sally Sweeney invited the devil for dinner tonight, but as darkness fell around this peaceful little cottage, he slowly became an unwelcome and uninvited guest.

We make our departure in the hallway, and she plants a tender, if not watery, drunken kiss upon each of our awaiting puckered pouts. She smiles gleefully as she somewhat shakily makes her way to her bottom floor bedroom. Yelling happily over her shoulder, she tells us to pay no mind to the noise from her TV. It's time for her to watch her recorded stories. Her eyebrows dance upon her fat face, eyes wide as saucers, as she informs us drunkenly that this is the only chance she gets. Mr. Sweeney is not a fan, so his being out of town is a Godsend. She snorts in disgust, spitting the words in the air as she retreats. "Smut! He calls them, smut! Can you believe it, boys?"

And as we make our way upstairs, the hallway fills with laughter. Entering our bedroom slightly sluggish, but excitingly giddy, the slight scent of bourbon lingers in the air. With glassy eyes, shaky legs and soft giggles, we ready ourselves before climbing under the warm comforter.

Like two magnets, we gravitate to one another, our fill of bourbon liquefying our limbs and causing our sensitive skin to tingle with every libidinous touch.

Edward wraps himself in me, pouring and draping his overheated body onto mine. Our groans deepen as moans lose themselves, thick and impenetrable, gathering upon the humid air hanging heavily above us.

And as a slight sweat dances and glistens over our dewy nakedness, my mouth devours his. My fingers roam his roped, muscled back, his skin taut and tight under my blunt nails. And as I pull him tighter, his tongue penetrates my awaiting moist heat. Hard and wanton, this kiss is strong and powerful. As need and longing dance viciously upon my swollen lips, they tingle with anticipation. Edward's dominance demands my obedience, and as a hard, heavy groan escapes his lungs, I eagerly and willingly submit.

The kiss is long and hard. Names fall as prayers are answered. Edward pants and pulls, pushes and puffs, his breath moist and hot, making my skin tingle with anticipation. My head spins with excitement. I feel my nipples harden as his lean, strong fingers explore my heaving chest.

My name, along with God's and the baby Jesus's, whispers seductively from his pink, plump pout. His soft, luscious mouth sucks and slurps my dampened flesh. As we steal each other's gasping air and long for each other's wanton touch, our hardened cocks rub deliciously as one.

And fuck me, I can't hang on. It's been too long. The want's too desperate and my need for him is immeasurable.

Edward pulls his body flush with mine. His hips seductively sway as he grounds his erection into my painfully hard cock once more.

A slow, liquid growl rumbles in my chest, and I swear I feel the fucker giggle, the vibrations tracing my body like a tightly strung bow.

I pull back harshly, wanting to watch for myself the fireworks sparkle and dance in my boy's dark eyes, wanting to witness for the first time in what seems like forever, my boy come undone, sensing lust and desire take him over, needing to see firsthand what my body already felt and knew. He wants this, and most of all, he wants me.

Our eyes meet dark, damp and heavy. The sparkle lights his flushed face. Swollen lips part, and panted hot air fans my face. And in a hushed whisper, he asks, "Remind me?"

As I gaze upon him somewhat confused and a little stunned, he pulls me tighter, bringing us nose to nose. And as I lean in to kiss his swollen lips, his tongue drags hard and heavy across my awaiting mouth. His breath fans my cheeks while his voice finds my ear, and as his euphoria drowns me, his words cause my body to convulse. "Remind me how we used to be, take me as yours." And as the last word trails off into the night's hot air, it's stolen from his mouth by my eager tongue. My heart pounds hard and happy as excitement floods my every nerve.

Cupping his sweaty face, pulling him to me eagerly, my lips attack him like my life depends on it, and he doesn't disappoint. Repaying me in kind, he responds to my lustful mouth with wanton of his own, kissing me with so much passion and desire that I almost came - I didn't, just almost, really doing my best to hold the fuck off.

His tongue explores every inch of my mouth, while his hands were doing the same to my body. My own hands travel his like they're lost, and for the first time taking this journey. I'm searching and exploring, groping and tugging, and as my sweaty fingers roam his form, I cup his supple ass cheeks and pull him roughly to me, taking this opportunity to grind our cocks together, causing the most powerful friction, making us both moan unabashedly.

The urgency to get to each other's bodies is strong. The longing to be a part of each other is powerful, and as the intensity builds, our slurps and sucks echo and dance off the bedroom walls.

Sliding down his torso, licking his chest, dragging my tongue forcefully over his salty sweat, letting it tingle in the back of my throat. I roll my tongue over his hardened nipple before taking it between my teeth gently, listening as he gasps and pants. Heavy groans rumble from deep inside his heaving chest, and in what can only be described as a desperate desire, need and want to take him between my lips. I eagerly engulf his awaiting hard as all fuck cock with my mouth and suck for dear life. I take him all the way repeatedly, pulling him out again slowly, smirking gleefully to myself as I hear him whimper wantonly, wanting to savor and longing to last, swallowing around him every time he hit the back of my awaiting throat.

"Mmmmmmmmm... fuck, yes Jasper... fuck yessssssssss... soooooo goooodddd... holy shit baby... Fuck yeah, Jasper." Edwards groans roar and rumble throughout his shaking body as I feel his orgasm hit the back of my throat, and I swallow every fucking drop, licking my lips as I pull back.

He grips the front of my hair tightly, and I watch in awe as his green watery eyes darken in a mirthy haze - pulling me to him and kissing me passionately. Pulling back, he huskily whispers, "Baby, it's been way too long."

I smirk at him, pushing him down onto the bed, kissing him feverishly, nibbling at his neck and working my way down his chest, taking his hardened nipple once more into my mouth while my lean, sweaty fingertips worked the other.

Feeling him getting hard again, I stop my manipulations on his heavy, heaving chest. Reaching over a little shakily - and somewhat nervously - to the bedside table, I grab the lube. And as our eyes meet in lust, I excitingly raise an eyebrow in his direction before playfully inquiring, "Do you remember how I used to fuck you, Edward?"

And as I grin widely, his only response is to nod.

Impersonating his stare, I reply, "Well, that's how I'm going to fuck you now."

"Gasp!"

Leaning down, I kiss him again with lust and passion. We both moan in unison as he savors his lost flavor on my pulsing tongue, working my way down his jaw, licking and sucking as my lubed fingers find their way to his puckered entrance. I move my mouth down to his nipple again, sucking it tenderly and taking it once more gently between my teeth as I slide one finger into his now tight hole, sliding it in and out painstakingly slowly, angling slightly, wanting nothing more than to find his magic spot. And fuck me sideways! My body rejoices as I'm rewarded with his deep hearty moans and pants.

As I devour his swollen mouth, his body relaxes even more, enabling me to slide in another two fingers and stretch him a little further. Feeling him relax and melt, I bring my cock to his awaiting entrance. Looking down on him longingly, our damp, dark eyes meet finally for the first time in forever in understanding.

And as my heavy eyes give in to the anticipation of things to come and flutter involuntarily closed, I wait patiently for his response. And as I meet his gaze one last time, his breath fans my face and a hushed whisper revisits my weary ears

"Please, Jassssppper. Please."

And with my invitation firmly in place, I slide in slowly. It takes all that I am and all that I have not to thrust into him forcefully. It's been so fucking long, and he's so Goddamn tight, that it's actually a little uncomfortable to take it this slow. But this is my boy, and right now, I'll have nothing but patience for him.

Feeling myself buried painfully deep as his heat engulfs my engorged cock, I will myself to find Edward's eyes, wanting to gauge his emotions and reactions. And when my heavy, dark eyes find his, Edward smiles brightly.

His lean, long legs pull up over my hips and wrap deliciously around my slim waist, pulling me tighter and burying me further into his hot depths. The heels of his feet cup my ass, pushing me forward, making us both grunt hard as I try my fucking best to hold still so he can get accustomed and become reacquainted. After what felt like a fucking lifetime, he starts to rock his hips, letting me know that he's ready.

"Fuck, Edward, so tight. It's been too fucking long, baby. But it's oh so fucking good." I moan as I thrust in and out of him, hitting the spot that makes him groan and whimper.

"Oh God, Jasper. Yes, baby, right there… Baby feels so good; so fucking good… Please don't stop."

His words set off a fire in me, building in my toes and working its way deliciously up and over my thighs. And as my body tingles with need and want, I pump harder and stronger into him for all I'm worth. Continually pounding his prostate.

His groans attack my eardrums as his swollen lips devour my mouth, making us both moan and scream upon each other's flesh. And as I pull back slightly, ready to take his cock into my hand, wanting to push him forward, longing to see his release, he screams my name and his red hot cum decorates his toned stomach and heaving chest.

The tightening around my cock throws me over the edge, and I screamed his name, my name, whoever's name and a few other Goddamn cuss words as I come, and come fucking hard. Unable to hold on, I collapse, sweaty and spent, onto his cum-covered panting chest.

As I lay gasping for air, my head spinning in my afterglow, I dare a frightened glace in Edward's direction. My heart skips as his lips slide upwards into the most glorious smile, and as I raise my eyebrow wickedly, I inquire, "So did I help you remember?"

His laughter fills the room, and my eyes flutter heavily and close. His firm body molds to mine, his thigh tucks in and under as our limbs entwine, making us both melt into the soft mattress. As his lips find my neck, planting a tender, wet kiss, he whispers, "Fuck yeah, Jasper. You made me remember."


	24. Treats Tubs and Twins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, her dedication to my little story amazes me the woman rocks...
> 
> And last but not least Prassacut author of Roads: For pre-reading this chapter. Its on my faves go check it out I promise you will not be disappointed (This Edward rocks my world. I swear I fangirl all over his ass.)
> 
> Now its time to go see what the Hale-Cullen's have been up too...

Waking slowly, I stretch with a groan. Fuck, Jasper! Ain't as young as you used to be. Huh? Smiling contentedly while listening as Edward's soft snores and sweet whimpers hum deliciously in my ears - he's sleeping deeply, and for the first time in a long while, his night was peaceful. No tossing and turning or restlessness this morning for my boy.

My grin grows deep and wide as last night's antics invade my foggy morning brain. And who the fuck are we kidding, people? The hazy thoughts take over my not so sleepy morning wood.Palming my semi-hard dick, I cringe somewhat as it twitches in discomfort under my hot hand. Stroking him gently, my finger tips grant him the utmost attention of which he now deserves. The guy's a fucking trooper. Pouting like a four-year-old, feeling him throb achingly, I lift the covers gingerly as I whisper softly to him, I hear ya, buddy! I hear ya! Not so long the next time. I promise. A starved cock can only do so much under pressure; I understand.

Climbing out from under the comforter, paying mind not to wake my slumbering boy, I reach for a pair of sweatpants and head for the bathroom. First my morning routine - brush my teeth - and then I'll be on the hunt for my morning liquid gold. I rack my brain, trying to remember where I spotted the shiny blue can the night before.

And as I wash my hands, I chuckle crazily. Wonder if the remembering Edward and I were doing last night would qualify as the reminiscing Sally had in mind? Stepping back, drying my hands on the towel, I smirk at my reflection in the mirror. Knowing Sally Sweeney the way I now do, I'm sure it exactly qualifies as reminiscing. What'd I tell ya, Jasper? Never underestimate this strong, smart little old broad.'

Heading for the kitchen, trying my best to be quiet, I walk on my toes, cause the fucking slapping of my big ass bare feet on the hardwood floors is causing my fucking head to pound with trumpets right now. And shit knows if my head feels like it has a fucking brass band doing the fucking two step in it, then Mrs. Sweeney is probably even worse for the wear. Poor little old broad. Maybe I should treat her to my famous Hale-Cullen waffles this morning to thank her for all her uninvited, but truly appreciated, meddling.'But as I turn the corner, I step back in astonishment and gasp loudly in surprise, cause sitting at the table, a silver head in one hand and a coffee cup in the other, is said little old broad.

Tiptoeing in her direction, doing my best not to startle her, I whisper softly, "Well good morning Mrs. Swee...Sally?"

And as she gently places the coffee cup on the table, being oh-so-careful not to make a sound, she turns her head slowly, making my heart break sympathetically as her bloodshot red eyes drift painfully to meet mine.

Then she whispers in a lazy, husky voice, "What the hell's so good about it, Jasper?"

Leaning in, I plant a loud, wet kiss upon her messy silver do before stating, "Everything is good with it, Sally. Ev-Ver-Ry-thanggg... Fuc...! Oops...! Sorry! Shit! Let's just say things couldn't be better right now."

And as she raises her eye brow sternly, I continue with a wide smile, "Edward and I did some of that reminiscing you were talking about last night." I replied, wiggling my eyebrows comically.

"And believe me when I say," I wiggle my eyebrows again, this time with a little more enthusiasm, "We haven't reminisced like that in a long while... A very... loooooooong... while."

And as I fuss around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, grabbing a coffee cup on my travels, I watch in wonder as Sally continues to stare at me, making me a little uncomfortable - if I'm really being truthful with ya, a really fucking lot of uncomfortable. Running my fingers through my hair nervously - maybe my curls are sticking up in all the wrong places - I return her stare.

Her unfocused eyes search mine as her brow furrows deeply.

Getting a little more uneasy, I abruptly turn my back to her - palming my crotch, wondering if my morning wood was still active - wouldn't want the monster in my pants scaring the little old broad now, would we - and when I finally come to the conclusion that everything is copacetic, I turn confidently and raise a questioning eyebrow in her direction.

But as she continues to stare, I immediately see when it hits her. The blush starts on her neck, and creeps slowly until it takes up residence on her fat, wrinkled cheeks. Her baby blues darken somewhat, then sparkle with mirth as her plump pink pout slightly parts and a soft, deep "Ooooh" releases from them. And as her grin broadens gleefully, she amusingly questions, "Reminiscing, huh! Is that what you youngsters are calling it these days?"

Her reaction and reddened face doubles me in two, and the laughter that vibrates through me nearly breaks a fucking rib; and as I hear her follow suit, I move to her swiftly, pulling her into my arms and hugging her tightly.

"Awww, Sally, you're just way too cute for yourself sometimes.. ya know?'

And as she tries desperately to push me off her, she squeals amusingly.

"I know, Jasper! I know! That's me, the stupid old broad."

Once again planting a wet kiss in her hair, I contradict her. "Oh, I never said you were stupid, Sally - far from it. If you ask me, right now, you're one of the smartest people I know."

And as she pulls me tighter, kissing my chest once more, she whispers softly, "It's all good, Jasper! All good."

Pulling her back, wanting to finally accomplish what I've been longing to do since last night, I tell her sternly, "Pucker up, Mrs. Sweeney"

She looks up, damp eyes somewhat confused, but as understanding washes her chubby face, she smiles broadly, lashes fluttering closed, raising her face upwards. Her plump pink pout puckers in my direction, and I lean down, placing a soft, wet, tender kiss upon her awaiting mouth.

She sighs deeply, pulling back, eyes still closed, lashes dancing on her fat cheeks. I watch as a beautiful, content smile broadens on her happy face.

And as I continue to stare gleefully, she whispers, "Mmmmm... Jasper, you can reminisce with me anytime."

My chuckle rises as I watch her return to her seat and coffee cup, and as she smiles brightly up at me, her eyes still dancing joyfully, she inquires, "Maybe you can give Mr. Sweeney a lesson on this whole reminiscing thing."

I fill my cup, reminding myself to refill hers, and I state sternly, "Sally, for as long as you guys have been married, I'm sure Mr. Sweeney does just fine where... mmmmm... reminiscing is concerned. But if you really want me to, I'll leave him a note." And I wiggle my eyebrows once more.

As our laughter fills the room and I sit down next to her at the table, she reaches for me, placing her soft, plump hand over mine. Nodding her head in understanding, she whispers softly, "As like you, Jasper, it's all good - no note needed. And honestly, I think I'll keep him just a little while longer, if you don't mind?"

My only response is to nod knowingly, cause truthfully, I know how she feels - I swear I do. Her love and respect for her husband, Sam, rings loud and clear and grows daily in leaps and bounds. And after our heartfelt conversation last night, I can see why. They are both truly amazing people, and have been through a lot as a couple, and have grown closer and stronger. Their patience and endurance outweigh all their demons. And for sharing her wisdom with us, I will be forever grateful. I can honestly say Mr. and Mrs. Sweeney have officially made their way onto our Christmas card list, and will be a lot more than just acquaintances in the future.

We sit in silence for a while, sipping our coffee, slurps and moans around the hot liquid being our only communication.

And as I let the absence of sound and speech drown me in this moment. I allow the beautiful thoughts from the previous night to take over my every sense. My heart pounds rapidly in my chest as my palms sweat slightly, the hot-cold moisture making them shake around my coffee cup nervously.

I inhale deeply through my nose, bathing myself in the thoughts and memories of our momentous evening, making my eyes grow heavy as I let them close softly. Lashes flutter as they rest and fan upon my flushed cheeks.

Remembering how my fingers tingled as they painstakingly traveled his strong, lean chest, the pulse in their pads matching his - beat for beat - as a blanket of goosebumps danced deliciously upon his glistening alabaster skin. His roped muscles expressed their gratitude repeatedly like a well choreographed chorus line as they waltzed in harmony under his tight, lean frame.

My breath hitches as I remember his tongue - heavy, rough and thick - as it traced the column of my throat, tugging gently when it reached the stubble dusting on my neck. Oh, and the sweetness of his breath as it fanned hot and moist against my fevered flesh; while his teeth nipped seductively upon my waiting ear lobe.

My mouth waters making me swallow hard, remembering his salty sweet taste as it coated my devouring lips and frolicked exquisitely upon my eager tongue. The boy never fails to amaze me. Still, after all these years, his presence excites and arouses me. His mind and body inspires, thrills and titillates me - I can't imagine it ever getting old or growing stale. Edward is and always will be the best part of me.

Then Sally breaks the silence, speaking in a low, soft tone, reminding me that we both have a hell-banging hangover, and just the fucking thought makes my head hurt even more. The painkillers I took a while back are taking their own Goddamn time to kick the fuck in.

"Edward's okay, I take it?"

Having been lost in my own thoughts - Well, who are we fucking kidding? Fantasies!'- I raise the cup to my lips, smiling broadly around the rim. "Oh yeah, Edward is just fine; thank you very much."

And as I hear her chuckle lightly right before she pushes my shoulder, scolding, she squeals, "Jasper! I meant are you sure he's okay? Does he usually sleep this long?"

Smiling at her knowingly, I place my cup back on the table before I answer. "He is fine, Sally. He hasn't been sleeping well lately, so I'm sure his body is just playing catch up."

She looks at me sadly, her eyes wandering around the room slowly, as she's caught up in her own thoughts, making her look somewhat dazed and a little bewildered. And as she nods knowingly, sighing deep and sad, it makes my heart hurt even more. And all the while, I feel her plump thumb graze my knuckles as her chubby fingers cup my hand just a little tighter.

She meets my gaze, smiling sadly; her eyes dampen with thoughts of hurt and loss.

But that's it! It ends now, Goddamn it. I've decided I'm having none of it, and I've really had enough to do me a fucking lifetime. This melancholy shit ends today.

Leaning over, I take her warm soft face between my hands, and her eyes sparkle as they meet mine. My grip makes her lips pucker, and unable to help myself, I reach in and place one last tender soft kiss upon her ample mouth.

Pulling back, I grin widely and then ask joyfully. "Waffles?"

I watch with amusement as her brow furrows comically. A strangled "Huh?" is her only reply.

One more kiss on the forehead, and I'm up on my feet.

"I think you should let me treat you to my famous Hale-Cullen waffles this morning, Sally."

She giggles like a schoolgirl before replying, "Famous, huh?"

"Oh, famous is an understatement, believe me. You will never see Edward move as quickly as he does when he smells my delicious Hale-Cullen waffles."

I open and close cupboards, all the while listening as Mrs. Sweeney barks out orders from her perch at the table,retrieving the waffle iron and pulling out the ingredients needed. I start to hum happily, pulling myself up short, realizing I haven't been this fucking excited and exhilarated in - like - fucking forever. And as I raise my own eyebrow, I think joyfully, I could get fucking used to this again. No more sad shit for Edward and me. EVER! Fuck you, Volturi!

Five minutes into preparing breakfast, I sense it. My skin tingles as I feel my toes curl. And I hear Mrs. Sweeney chuckle off to my side. And then the heat hits me like a Mack truck. His body comes flush with mine as he wraps his long arms around my waist and his form melts into me.

He sighs deeply, kissing my back between the shoulder blades. My shivering skin moistens as his hot breath whispers into my shirt, "Morning, Jassssssper."

Turning slowly, I take him in a tight embrace. "Morning, sweetness."

Looking at my boy - hair messed, skin smooth - my only reaction is to kiss him, and kiss him I do, with everything I have, pouring all my energy for life, my wonder for our future and my hopes and dreams for our lives together into this passionate liplock.

He breaks it first, pulling back, his eyes damp and dark, his smile broad and bright as he whispers softly, "Love you, Jasper Hale-Cullen - more than you'll ever know."

And as my weary eyes dart eagerly between his, I respond in kind. "Love you too, sweetness. And believe me, I know. You always make sure off that, Mister, now don't ya?"

He nods shyly, meeting my gaze once more, before I shoo him in the direction of the kitchen table and Mrs. Sweeney. There's no need to be getting all deep and sad on such a glorious morning, now is there?

As he sits at the table by Sally, filling himself a cup off coffee, he eye's her amusedly then asks questioningly, "What?"

She smiles widely in his direction before inquiring, "How the hell did you know breakfast was nearly ready?'

He starts to giggle as he sips his coffee. "Cause it's Jasper's waffles, that's how."

"But what gave it away?"

"Well, Mrs. Sweeney, it's the..."

He shuts the hell up, cause I cut him off abruptly, "Oh hell to the no, Mister! You don't give away our family secrets."

He looks at me, his eyes dancing with mirth and excitement as he says, "But, Jasper, it's only Mrs. Sweeney."

Moving to the table, I serve him his waffles, hoping to keep his mouth full and his lips shut. I smile gleefully. "Sally, do you know how long my mama has been after me trying to find out my secret? Cause she knows how much Edward loves them, and she thinks if she can make them for him, she can win him over even more than she already thinks she has."

Sally's eyes dart between Edward and me, but he's no help. The poor boy's too busy stuffing his face with the deliciousness which is my doing, and my doing alone.

So, giving up on his sorry support, she glares at me. I see the wheels turning as her eyes sparkle and a broad grin graces her still quite pretty, womanly face.

"But, Jasper, if you give it to me, you will become famous in this area. Think about it. Every visitor that walks through my little bed and breakfast door will be served a breakfast made up of your wonderful, hot, sweet-smelling waffles. I'll even give you the credit and put the Hale-Cullen name on the menu."

Edward mumbles with a mouth full of waffles, grinning brightly with a syrupy smile. He nods eagerly."Mmmmm"

I smile at them both, as the two misfits look at me in earnest, looking more like little spoiled children than two grown-ass adults.

And in seconds, I cave. "All right! All right! All right. Shit, you two are a pain in the ass. OK, Sally, before we leave, I'll leave you the recipe, but don't think for one minute, I'll let you get away with not putting our Goddamn names on that menu, Missy."

So as we sit and chit-chat, finishing our breakfast and sipping our coffee, Sally inquires, "Well, you two, what's on the agenda for you today?"

Edward's eyes dart to mine, asking in silence if we had one, and letting me know I can call the shots if need be.

Giving him a quick wink and a small nod, I reply, "Well, I was hoping to take a shower, then later take my man on a nice slow walk around that beautiful lake you have surrounding your property."

Sally smiles knowingly and then adds." How about I pack you guys a nice lunch in a picnic basket, and you can take one of the blankets from your room and sit by the lake and have a nice peaceful lunch, just the two of you?"

Edward bounces on his chair excitedly, and the smile on his beautiful face steals my breath; and with that, she got her answer.

My hand reaches to cup hers, and as I stare into her baby blues, smiling widely, I concur. "That sounds wonderful, Sally. I think we'll take you up on your offer. And before I forget, thank you."

"For what, Jasper? Why are you thanking me?"

Leaning in, I whisper softly, "For everything Sally, for taking care off us so well, but mostly just for being you."

Her happy eyes meet mine, and she nods her head in understanding before shooing me off, her telling me gleefully that my southern charm won't work on her anymore - that she's on to me - and as she completes her comment, we all sit and chuckle to ourselves.

Edward sternly states, "Oh no, Sally, the southern charm never stops working. I've been waiting for that to happen for twelve years now."

And once again, we all start laughing even louder, making me nearly blow fucking coffee out my nose.

Edward and Sally clear the table, stating that since I cooked for them, they would do clean up for me. And as I finish my coffee and offer to help, I'm pushed, shoved and manhandled - a wee bit too roughly, if you ask me - out of the kitchen, being ordered to go shower and change. And when I was finished, everything would be ready to go.

The heat from the bathwater invites me in - the soft steam melts and seduces every nerve ending as it fills the room, giving it a warm and cozy atmosphere. My skin tingles with anticipation as I lower and slide my aching body into the relaxing heat. I breathe easy, collecting my thoughts, and as my eyes flutter closed from the tranquility, my peaceful mind wanders to Edward, our kids and our future, and as I let the dream take me over, I find myself smiling contentedly.

A few minutes later, still lost in my musing, I hear the creak of the bathroom door- really it could have been longer, if not merely seconds, but in my hot steamy haven, I couldn't tell. My brain was turning to mush and my body was quickly following. Removing the washcloth from my eyes, I hear his smooth velvet voice as it whispers upon the heavy laden steam.

"Jasper, baby? You're in here, right? Thought you were taking a shower?"

Sitting straighter, letting my hands fall over the edge of the tub as the wash cloth hits the floor, I whisper back, trying my best to sound as seductive as possible. "I was going to, babe, but I thought a nice hot bath looked and sounded so much better. And the sooner you can get that sexy ass of yours naked, the quicker you can join me in it."

And as I watch, eyes straining, vision somewhat blurred, my lashes damp and heavy from the heat and steam, I listen intently. My ears labor, making up for my loss of sight. I can hear him as his bare feet slap against the bathroom tile. The thick, heavy steam makes it impossible to see him clearly, but as the steam swirls around the room, I can make him out.

His lean form cuts through the cloud like a hot knife through butter, and as he slowly approaches, I gasp in awe and lust.

Cause standing in front of me is my wonderful boy, all buck naked, erect and proud, in all his fucked up red headed glory. His forest green eyes meet mine as his smile widens and brightens in mischief before announcing gleefully, "Can we play, Jasper?"

And as my dark, heavy eyes drink him in and drown eagerly from the sight of him, I'm unable to breathe properly. My lips part, releasing a pitiful "K..."

Sitting his naked self on the edge off the tub, silently and all shy-like, he raises his eyebrow in amusement. Leaning back slightly, his presence makes every part of me tingle and stir within. My belly tightens with anticipation. God knows what he does to me. God knows how he makes me feel. But most of all, I know what he means to me, and at this moment, that's all that matters.

Turning a little to face me, he leans down, wiping the damp hair from my forehead. And as he sighs deep and heavy, he places a soft, tender kiss upon it. Scooting himself back, twisting slightly he reaches across the tub and, entwines our hands - his left to my right, we're now palm to palm. And as he stares down at me - and me up at him - I swear I can see the second that the realization of being whole again engulfs and takes us over.

I watch in awe as he tears the silver packet between his clenched teeth. Our eyes are trapped, my soul imprisoned, as I watch in amazement while he coats my damp, lean fingers in the shimmering thick, clear liquid. Reaching in, he kisses me long and passionately. His fingers travel my neck and face, finding purchase in my damp, thick curls. He pulls me tight to his awaiting lips, making me groan from the sensation of his heavy tongue exploring my eager mouth. I gasp as my heart skips a beat when I realize he's placed my lubed fingers at his puckered entrance.

And as I kiss him deeper and harder, my fingers glide slowly but surely into his awaiting hole. His hands leave my hair, but his lips stay strong against mine. He leans back, and his palms grab the opposite side of the tub his body now bridges and arches above me. And as he rocks himself onto my hand, I slip my other up and over him, wrapping his waist, pulling him tighter, guiding him as he rolls himself back and forth slowly over the tub's edge.

I try to slow his pace, but he frantically rocks himself upon my eager fingers his body shakes and convulses as my lips suck and slurp his damp, hot slippery skin. Finding his neck, then shoulder and chest, letting my tongue drag seductively along his ribcage, nipping on his hip bone before starting my journey once more.

Our moans are loud. Growls and groans echo throughout the space, amplified from the acoustics of the tiled walls.

Pulling back, I watch as my fingers disappear between his supple cheeks. His butt clenches and contracts deliciously under my manipulations. I watch in awe as his ass devours my digits - the relaxation of his arousal and passion enabling them to sink fluidly into his warm depths.

His back arches and the muscles in his arms and hands strain hard and tight as he lifts his weight to hover above me. His roped, strong thighs hug tight against the edge of the bath while his chest heaves and expands, Heavy, strong gusts of breath release from his lungs. Sweat glistens, coating his entire body. His hair, dark and damp, lays flat against his forehead; his eyes closed tight, lips parted, as hard, long groans release strangled from his now dry throat, filling the thick, heavy air surrounding us.

My breath hitches as I hear him growl his husky demand, "More! I need more, Jasper."

Slipping one more finger into him, his chest rumbles and vibrates as I watch his eyes flutter closed in ecstasy. In this moment, you'd be hard pressed to find anything more beautiful than my boy as he fights to stay in the moment. But his body forsakes him, and I watch, fixated, as he slowly becomes undone with his own need and lust.

His body starts to shake and shiver I feel him go limp beneath my sweaty hands, and as he does, I wrap my arm around his heaving chest, pulling him into the water, causing him to straddle my lap, his back to my chest, doing my best to keep my fingers firmly in place.

Reaching back, his hands find my head, his fingers tangle into my damp curls, pulling my face to his neck.

I suck down hard upon his shoulder and throat, and we both groan in unison. It's gonna leave a mark, but right now, I don't give a fuck. My boy is all undone, and it's all my doing. So yeah, I'm a selfish bastard.

Removing my fingers, I listen as a small whimper releases from him. Giving myself a few hard strokes, I place my dick at this entrance and wait patiently to hear the words my ears have been starved of.

Lifting himself slightly, his hands come round and grab each side off the tub. His tight fingers and knuckles squeak against the porcelain as a slow drawn whisper releases from him, "Jasper, please."

I place my hands tenderly on his hips to guide him, and my thumbs circle his lower back lovingly as he slides down my length. A liquid moan rolls off our tongues, vibrating off the bathroom walls just to return and wash over us.

And at first he's slow and patient, but it doesn't take long for his mind to catch up and make him dizzy. He pulls himself forward, rocking himself back. I watch as the muscles on his back dance with his strength. His shoulders lift and fall and his hips swing and sway, rolling himself down hard and deep upon my eager cock.

Water splashes up and over the edge. As his body bucks and strains for pleasure he brings one hand up and over, pulling on my hair, dragging my lips to meet his twisting his face laying his cheek on my shoulder, pushing himself down hard, causing us both to growl into each other's mouths.

He's laying back on his heels, his hips and back flush with my chest and groin. The water enables us to slip and slide. Both his hands back in my hair, fingers scratch and pull at my scalp, making me groan contentedly as he pounds me deep and hard up into him.

Cupping his butt, I lift him, pushing him forward. His palms now find my knees. his chest slapping the water as he grips tight. I buck up hard. My ears ring as a husky "Fuck me, Jasper... Fuck! So... fucking good, baby," escapes his lips.

And as I feel my heart explode deep in my chest, my belly tightens and my breathing becomes labored. My fingers dig somewhat roughly into his hips. Feeling as he removes his hand from my knee.

Leaning up, he takes his dick in hand, and as he rolls back, he strokes forward. And as he rocks forward, he strokes back. We find our rhythm easily, as all ability for coherent thoughts and speech is forgotten.

I feel as his ass tighten around my cock, making the sensation in my belly and balls burn, and as I bend my knees slightly for leverage, I scream into the humid air: "Fuck! Edward, come for me, baby!" And before I get to finish my sentence, his hole becomes a vise, engulfing me as I pump and empty my release into his warm depth, listening as he does the same into his awaiting fist and lukewarm bathwater.

His weight falls back, melting into me, My heaving chest pushing against his sweaty back, we both lazily twist and squirm, trying to get comfortable, both stretching our legs. And as my big toe finds the chain for the stopper, I pull it free, enabling the water to swirl its way down the drain. I bring my hand up and over, able to surround us with the shower curtain, as Edward brings his foot up, twisting the faucets. We sigh deeply, relaxing back as the shower spray covers both our weary frames with fresh warm water.

"Love you baby."

"Always sweetness."

Shiny, shaved, and squeaky clean, we make our way to the kitchen as Mrs. Sweeney enters from the back door, removing her gardening gloves and running her fingers through her thick silver hair. Her eyes widen lovingly as she notices our arrival, informing us that the picnic basket is ready to go, and ordering me as only Sally could in her soft motherly voice, to retrieve a few bottles of beer from the fridge.

And as I'm resealing the basket, Edward's phone rings in his back pocket. He eyes me sheepishly as I stare at him sternly, silently scolding him for bringing his cell phone in the first place. But as he's about to apologize, he eyes me questioningly. "It's Alice."

He answers slowly, and I see his hand shake slightly as he inquires fearfully into the phone.

"Hi, Alice. How are you? Everything's OK, I hope"

And all I can do is stand and stare. I listen amusedly as Edward tries to have a conversion with his little sister.

The word here is try, people. The girl is a pistol, I tell ya! Really don't know how Riley does it - the boy needs a medal, if you ask me.

And as he nods and agrees, I stand and stare, just wishing the girl would get to the fucking point, and sometime soon. I have a lake and a picnic with my boy to get to. Told ya I'm a selfish bastard.

"We're good. Yes, we're rested. Yes, everything is going well. Yes, Alice, I'm sure. It couldn't be better. Al... Ali... Alice, shut the hell up for a minute, will you? Stop asking questions and stop talking. Remember, you called me; I'm guessing you had something to tell us."

Then he gasps and my heart stops as he questions her. "What do you mean, you're at the hospital?"

I grab his bicep, pulling him to me. His eyes dart to mine, and I sense and feel the fear as it devours us both. Then Doctor Edward takes over, and I watch as he straightens, his voice deepening, becoming even and hushed before he continues with his questions.

"High blood pressure? You don't have high blood pressure. How did you feel when you woke this morning? Is the doctor in the room? Yes, okay. A tech? Okay, that will work. What's her name? Put her on."

And as we both pull out a chair and slowly sit, Edward continues to question the poor unexpecting technician. He bombards her with inquires and questions, coming across more like a drill sergeant than a doctor or expectant father for that matter.

I heard the poor girl stutter and stammer on the other end as Edward would take nothing but whole answers and straightforward truths. And then he stopped abruptly. His eyes narrow as he says sternly, "Tell Alice to wait. I'll talk to her when I'm good and done with you. Oh my God, I hear her. I hear her, put her back on, and don't go anywhere, I'm not finished with you yet..."

And as he rolls his eyes at me, a disgusted gush off air blows aggravatingly from his lungs then he huffs, "Yes, Alice. What is so important that you needed me to stop questioning the tech? What do you mean put the phone on speaker? Okay! Okay! Okay! I'm doing it now."

And as Sally joins us, cupping Edward's hand between both of hers, I slide my chair closer, wrapping my arm around his shoulders, bringing him to my chest. As we all sit in anticipation, Alice continues, "Am I on speaker?"

"Yes, Alice, now get on with it. You're killing us here."

"Hi, Jasper. Everything going well?"

Taking a deep breath, I reply, "Everything is great, Alice. Your brother and I are having a wonderful time. But if you want to make it better, you will get on with this and put us out off our misery, and maybe Edward can take his nails out of my forearm."

And as she sputters and coughs, she continues, "Well everything is good now. I woke up this morning and didn't feel too good. My head was spinning, so Riley called the doctor and they asked us to come in and be checked out. But other than having a little high blood pressure, everything looks normal. But I have a question while I'm here on my back, my big fat-ass belly waving at the ceiling while they have that machine on and pointed in my direction. Would you guys like to know the sex of your kids?"

We both stare at each other in amazement. I knew this was a possibility, but I didn't think it would come so soon. And as we smile foolishly at one another, we question in unison, "Should we?"

Alice squeals. "Yes, you should. Think of what this means. You guys get to complete the rooms or room if they end up sharing, and I get to go shopping for my niece and nephew or my nieces and nephews. So let's go, boys, what do ya think?"

Our eyes dark and dampen as I feel his fingers squeeze my thigh and then we nod smiling widely.

Realizing that Alice can't see our nods, I find my voice and speak huskily toward the phone, "Yes, Alice, go ahead. What've we got cooking?'

The room falls eerily silent. Edward looks at me, grinning brightly as he places a soft, tender kiss upon my awaiting lips.

Our attention turns back to the phone, and we can make out small noises as people shuffle and machines beep. Then I hear Riley let out a strong, long wow as Alice releases a small yelp.

Then her voice comes across loud and strong as the excitement dances in her happy tone.

"Guys, you're having... And as she relays the information, a loud gasp fills the room as all three of us smile. And Mrs. Sweeney lets out a long, deep. "Wowwwwww!"


	25. Laughs Lust And Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my wonderful Beta Deβra Anne, she's hung in here with me and with her encouragement and dedication I've been able to continue...
> 
> And to my amazing pre-reader Prassacut author of Roads: ( If you haven't read yet, do so now you don't know what your missing.) A huge thank you for kicking my ass into gear and helping me get this chapter completed...

Hand in hand, we leave through the back door, finding the pathway to the lake easily enough. I think to myself,What the fuck did Sally put in this Goddamn basket? It weighs a fucking ton. Doesn't the woman know I'm not as young as I used to be?

Edward squeezes my fingers slightly, gazing up all damp-eyed and bewildered. The boy's fucking ecstatic. I can see the wheels in his pretty little head spinning a mile a minute. He really doesn't know what the hell to do with himself right now, he's so fucking excited.

The possibilities are endless, and I can't fucking wait myself. This has all turned out crazy, and an awesome crazy at that. It makes all that Goddamn shooting in a fucking plastic cup so worthwhile.

We find a spot under one of the big old trees lining the lake. It's so peaceful here, the only sounds being the lapping of the water a few feet away and the warm breeze whispering through the leaves of the trees above our heads.

Placing the basket off to the side, I proceed to unroll the blanket.

Edward tries to help, but the boy's lost. It's a good lost this time though. His eyes are bright and excited, his skin's flushed with wonderment; he can do nothing but smile in my direction right now. And really and truthfully at this moment, he's utterly fucking useless to me, but God knows his smile is one of my most favorite things, so who the fuck am I to complain?

As we sit, I pull the basket closer, proceeding to empty the contents, grabbing the beer first, cause I know a God damn toast is in order here. I hand one to an already drunk-on-life Edward.

He smiles widely, his fingers a little shaky as he grips the neck of the bottle. His damp eyes dart frantically between the bottles and my face, making me sigh happily.

My heart swells knowingly, just simply realizing how far we've come and how much we've come through in the last couple of days with the help of one awesome, kick-ass, Mrs. Sally Sweeney.

As our bottles tap, I giggle excitedly before proudly announcing, " To us, babe."

He smiles widely before adding, "To us." Then his grin grows even wider before continuing, "And let's not forget the boys."

Shit! How could I? Wow, boys. Our two sons. Smiling like a fucking madman, I concur. "To us and the boys."

Finishing up the sandwiches and fruit, I pack the trash back in the basket, not wanting to leave a mess behind, and needing to make sure we bring it back to the house with us. I grab two more cold beers, handing one over to Edward as he gazes deep in thought across the lake.

He sits straight, knee's bent, forearms leaning lazily on them, his beer now dangling from his long, lean fingers as he swings it playfully to some music beat he's got going on in his pretty little head. My boy's lost in deep thought, humming contently to himself, and God knows the sight of him relaxed and excited couldn't make me any happier right now.

"What ya thinking, sweetness?"

He glances back at me over his shoulder, his eyes sparkling with mirth and excitement, reminding me of my old Edward, my carefree Edward, my peaceful Edward, my over-thinking-everything-but-loving-life Edward, my fuckhot gorgeous I-just-want-to-fuck-his-ass-right-now Edward. But mostly he reminds me more of my long-lost boy, and I grin widely in my beautiful husband's direction.

"Nothing much, babe," he replies as he raises an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I question him playfully.

Downing the last of my beer before lying back on the blanket, one arm across my chest, the other propping my head up so I can still make eye contact with him.

He twists himself, gulping the last of his own beer, and my eyes flicker lustfully at the sight of his Adam's apple bouncing with every swallow. I find I have to lick my lips as my God damn throat dries like the fucking desert just at the very sight of him.

Placing the bottle off to the side, he raises my arm, laying himself across me, his chest and face pressed tightly to me as he brings my arm up and over him. Keeping hold of my hand, playing happily with my fingers, both our wedding rings click as they touch, making my eyes dart to the noise and the sensation. The sun makes the platinum shine, and rainbows play around our entwined hands. My heart skips joyfully, knowing this is us - this is who we are - and this is who we'll always be - the best part of one another.

Raising my voice a little above a whisper, I inquire again, "So?" I lay my head back on the blanket, enabling me to run the fingers from my now free hand through his silky soft hair, asking him again in more of a hushed whisper... "Well, babe, gonna let me know what's going through that pretty little head of yours?"

I feel as his warm hand slips up under my t-shirt, causing my skin to tingle and goosebumps to dance upon it. As his fingertips travel along my ribs, his tone turns hushed and quiet, and I have to strain to hear him.

He sighs deeply, entwining the fingers a little tighter with mine before answering me. "They need names!"

It takes me a few seconds to catch up with his line of thinking. My eyes squint, darting from side to side, trying to figure him out. Then it dawns on me, and a long, gasping, "Ohhhhhhh!' releases itself from my lungs, making his hair flutter and sway as my breath dances across it; and in return, it tickles my nose, making me chuckle.

"You're right babe! They do, don't they?"

I swipe his hair off to the side before bringing my hand up, scratching the itch it was causing me, still laughing to myself as I feel his head bob on my chest from the vibrations.

Raising himself above me, he enables us now to be face to face. His fingertips still play on my ribs, as my fingers slide from his hair, down his head, wrapping them tight around the back of his neck pulling him closer. Our eyes slowly close before our lips touch tenderly. The tips of each of our tongues seductively play.

Pulling back, he eyes me in awe and pride, and I'm hoping he sees the same reflection in mine. He smiles widely before saying gleefully, "Sons, Jasper. We're going to have sons, babe."

Stealing the last of his words, I attack his mouth with the utmost of passion.

Trying to contain my excitement and joy, he pulls back, breathlessly panting into the air, releasing the most glorious laugh, and with ease, I join him.

We lay quietly for a few minutes, each of us caught up in our own musing. It's gotten to the point were we are now breathing in unison. Our chests contract and expand to the same beat and rhythm, making me sigh contentedly as I think to myself. How the fuck so much has changed in our lives in the last year.

Thinking back, I remember the God damn fight that started the whole fucking thing in the first place, and how stupid and hard headed I was for fighting it, how reluctant I was just to listen to Edward's side of this fucking story, how, like a two-year-old, I wouldn't give him a chance to explain; now wanting to kick my own ass for being such a douche.

Then the time we spent apart, what the fuck was I thinking? It was only a few days, but it felt like a fucking lifetime. I was lost without him. I was in limbo when he wasn't by my side. The only good thing to come out of it was my ability to think things through and grow the fuck up for once.

Don't get me wrong, every chance I get, I will still act like a fucking two-year-old, but what I've learned over the last year is that I can do that from time to time, and Edward, God bless his little soul, will let me. But there comes a moment when you have to step up to the plate and be a grown up and make the big hard decisions. And what I've come to realize is with Edward by my side, those decisions can be painless, and sometimes worth the fight and wait.

Like the decision to have a baby. Who the fuck would have thought that I, Jasper Hale-Cullen, bad ass and hot head, would ever be having a kid. Not me, that's for sure. I didn't want it. I fought it every step of the way. Didn't want to give up myself - didn't want to give up my freedom to come and go as I please - not wanting to give up having Edward all to myself when-ever and where-ever I wanted him. 'Come on, don't act surprised, people. Ya'll know, and I've told ya's from the start what a selfish bastard I can be.'

Then the decision was made, as my over thinking fuckhot husband explained and re-explained to me in detail what this would mean for us as a couple and our future, and only in the way that my Edward could. 'Cause we all know he's so fucking charming, he could sell swamp land in Florida. Let's face it, people, if he was a fucking straight guy, you women would never stand a chance the boy would be a man whore.' And with that, I was sold and a baby was made. Wow.

Then the fuckery with Volturi happened. Cause fuck knows he just felt the need to stick his fucking dick in my God damn beer, the bastard! And yet another decision had to be made. My biggest fear finally came to life. Did Edward not love me anymore? Did he finally realize that I was a total fuck up and decide I wasn't worth his energy, so he had to kick me to the curb, only to find what he needed in someone else? But it didn't take me long to come to the conclusion of Hell to the fucking no! He didn't fall out of love with me, he was dragged out. So I had to find him and bring him home.

Then I found another decision had to come into play, maybe one of my biggest and most serious ever. Should Volturi live or die? Believe me, if I was thinking for myself, I know which one I would have chosen. But no, this wasn't just about me anymore, so I had to make a grown up decision, and the right one for that matter. His God damn sorry ass life was now in my hands. But really I knew I had to let him go; I couldn't have lived with myself, knowing I took someone's life away from them, even though that is what he tried to do to me by taking Edward in the first place.

But thinking back, I couldn't have been the husband to Edward that I needed to be, and I could never have been the father to our children that was expected of me if I'd have let my animal instinct take over. The act alone would have consumed me for the rest of my life, and I would have been one unhappy shell of a man, not worth shit to anyone.

Then came one of the easiest decisions I ever had to make, repairing Edward and me, giving us a chance to become whole and one again. Believe me, people, it just might have been easier to walk the fuck away and leave this fuckery behind me. But no - never - not me. I was not giving up on us. Edward needed me the most, and if truth be told, I have always needed him. So fighting for us, coming out kicking and clawing was not an option. I had to do it, even if it killed me, and let's be honest, it nearly fucking did.

And now here we are, lying in the sun in the most beautiful of settings, a cool lake breeze to dampen our skin and clear our heads, enabling us to make one more important decision, what to name our sons. 'Fuck! Sons.'

I'm taken out of my musing as Edward stares above me. Releasing himself from my hold, he sits up straight, crossing his legs Indian style, facing me, tucking his hand up under my shirt and gently rubbing my belly and abs where he once lay.

My eyes land on the wonder that is him. Don't get me wrong, I still see it, and sense it from time to time. He has a battle going on in his head, and he fights it every second. His mind wanders and his eyes darken, but now, as quick as it comes, he releases it somehow, to somewhere. 'The boy's a trooper, I tell ya. A trooper he is.'

I think, like me, he has come to realize that we are who we are, no matter what, and nothing has or will change for us. We love each other as much, if not more, today as we did yesterday, and those oh so many years ago, so I think we both are now at peace, knowing that we have one another and always will.

And as I feel his fingers play across my skin, making my eyes flutter closed, I hear his velvet voice inquire.

"So! Any ideas, Jasper?"

My eyes open slowly, lost in the feel of his skin touching mine, thanking all that is holy for his tender touch, remembering not long ago how I thought I would never have his hands on my heated flesh again. So I smile widely in his direction, giving myself a moment to think of an answer.

"Well, I have one boys name that I've been bouncing around in my head, but as for a second name, I have no idea, if I'm being honest with ya, babe."

He smiles widely before questioning. "Well! What is it then? Spill!"

I grin in return before answering, "I like, and always have liked, the name Branden. It's a manly name. I can see him grown, I think it's Irish, but I'm not really sure, but still I like it."

His eyes widen. "Wow! babe."

I eye him somewhat sternly. "Wow? What? You don't like it? You don't think it would be a good name for our son? You hate it, right?"

He grabs my face, pulling it towards him, a cheesy ass grin upon his, before replying.

"No! No! That's not what I'm saying. I love that name; it's one of my favorites, has been for a long time. My father has a cousin with the same name, and I've always thought it interesting, and yes, babe, it's very manly. I could definitely see our son named Branden."

I smile in return. "Branden Hale-Cullen. Yup! sounds good to me, sweetness."

"Me too, babe. Branden Hale-Cullen sounds perfect."

He changes position again, swinging himself around, laying his back flat on the blanket and the back of his head on my belly.

I bring both my hands up to tuck them under my head, but before I get a chance, he grabs one, placing it in his hair, silently asking me to massage his scalp. God he's such a spoiled little brat! Maybe I'm not the only one who's going to have some trouble sharing in this relationship. The thought makes me giggle, cause I'm sure we'll work it out. We always do.

He sighs deeply, making me a little concerned, so I question him.

"What, babe? What's wrong?"

He brings his hands to his face, rubbing it frantically, then runs his fingers through his fuckhot hair, grabbing my hand in the process, folding all three behind his head before he continues.

"One down, now one more to go. We do have another son to think of. We can't leave him without a name now, can we?"

"Shit! No we can't, sweetness. Whatcha thinking? Got any more manly man names up your sleeve we can use?"

He takes a deep breath before answering, "No, not off the top of my head, but I know it can't just be any name. Just like his brother, he will have to stand alone and be his own man, so it will have to be a good name, a strong name. Hey! Maybe another Irish name, if we can find one, you know, give them something in common."

So we're lost deep in thought for a few more minutes, listening as the leaves sway above our heads, cause the wind has taken a new direction. I can hear the water lap against the bank, birds sing in the branches, reminding me of the fact that no matter what, life goes on.

I smile, cause in this peacefulness, I can practically hear the wheels turning in his pretty little head, and the teeth chewing the bottom lip ain't helping much either. Once again, my boy is thinking and rethinking everything. And still after all these years, it baffles me.

I couldn't imagine being that lost in my own head, I really think I would go nuts.

Then he whispers, "Blain."

I answer, somewhat confused and a little angry, "Blaine! Ain't that a girl's name, hon? No son of mine is having a God damn girly name, Edward. I won't let you do that to him. Is it not bad enough the boy's going to have two gay fathers? We have to double the blow and give the poor boy a fruity name. Hope the fuck your willing to clean his ass up every day when he comes home from school with the shit beat out of his little butt. I'm guessing it'll be lucky for him he'll have a doctor for a father"

Edward starts laughing hysterically, pissing me off just all the more, making me sit up straight, knocking his sorry giving-our-son-a-girly-name ass off of me.

He twists now on all fours, still with the look of amusement on his sorry girly-giving-name ass face.

I stare at him, squinting my eyes, pouting my lips, letting him know that in no fucking way is our son having a God damn girly name.

"No! babe, not Blaine, it's Blain. There's is no E at the end. Blain is another Irish name in my family. Can you please remind me when we get back home to show you the picture I have of him. He's huge, babe! A big, burly-ass guy, a bit like Emmett. Nothing girly about him whatsoever. I promise you, our son will be fine with the name Blain. Blain Hale-Cullen. What do you think?"

I ponder it, throwing it around in my head for a few. "Branden and Blain Hale-Cullen. Huh!"

"Yes, babe. Branden and Blain Hale-Cullen. You have to admit they do have a certain ring to them, don't they?"

I close my eyes, giving myself a second. Fuck! This is so real right now, I don't think I can take it all in. But as I let myself relax and fall into the moment, I let it all sink in, and as I open my eyes slowly, I see Edward - my Edward, my beautiful, amazing, wonderful boy - looking back at me with the most excited eyes and the awesomest of grins, and all I can do is smile right back at him, nodding my head in agreement, making him smile even wider.

"Branden and Blain Hale-Cullen it is then. But so help me God, Edward Hale-Cullen! Anything happens to our son for the sake of a girly fucking name, then there is nowhere you can hide, cause I will find you and make you pay."

His laughter rings out joyfully, making my ears hum. Fuck! I love that sound. Then without warning, he pounces, and he's on top of me before I even have a second to think, kissing every piece of skin he can find or his lips can come in contact with, making me laugh in return, making my heart skip with joy and pride. And lets face it, people, 'as ya all know,' making me very fucking God damn horny.

So as quick as he starts it, I'm as determined to finish it, and I have my hands in his pants so fast, it makes his head spin, causing him to yelp.

"What the heck, babe!" he squeals.

Releasing him somewhat reluctantly from my hold, I feign innocence, looking at him as cutely as I can possibly muster in my lusty state; and yes, you know it, people, my dimples and all come out play, cause I know the boy's got a weakness for the dimples. He always has.

He eyes me warily, and somewhat guardedly, making my heart sink at the thought of him once again putting an end to our playtime, painfully thinking that we're about to take two steps back, after all the work to make the leaps and bounds forward. His eyes dart eagerly between mine and my mouth, as I watch in amativeness as his pink tongue seductively swipes and dampens his plump bottom lip. And then in awe and excitement, I feel as his fingers struggle with the button and zipper of my jeans and his dark eyes start to sparkle with desire.

I close my eyes to the sensation as I feel his warm, lean fingers wrap and fold gently around my overly-eager hard-as-all-hell cock, making me gasp in delight. Which in turn makes the fucker giggle. 'Yeah! you heard me, people, the fucker giggled like a girl. At me! Jasper fucking Hale-Cullen. Oh, I'll show his sorry ass.' And with that, we're separated, and I have his shirt up and over his fucking head before he can utter a God damn word to stop me. Who's giggling like a girl now! Fucker!

Giving our surroundings one last glance, I'm on him, my hands wandering his firm chest and abs, feeling his flesh goose-bump beneath my now slightly sweaty-with-nervous-tension palms. I let the tips of each digit dig into his skin playfully, causing his breath to hitch and my name to fall lustfully from his lips, and in return, making my heart skip and my grin widen as I smile into the soft skin of his neck, just below his jawline, hearing him sigh contentedly.

I feel him finally relax under my touch as I lay him back on the blanket. Gazing lustfully down upon him, he smiles wide, his skin flushed and clear, his eyes dark and excited. His lips part as small gasps of air release from his lungs in excitement and his chest heaves in response to my manipulations. And let's face it, my awesome seduction skills. And for the first time in what seems like forever, it causes me to have to make deep direct eye contact with him. My chest hurts, dreading what I might find there, but hoping to see what I have maybe in the past taken for granted. I long to see him need me, want me, and, above all, love me like his life depended on it.

And when my eyes fall upon him, he does not disappoint. The sight of him makes me stop and think, having to wait and ponder, needing to quickly upload an old memory, remembering fondly and somewhat excitedly that this is my Edward horny, this is my Edward wanton, this is my boy totally and irrevocably in love. And right fucking now, I couldn't be any fucking happier.

Suddenly and without warning, I'm flipped, now lying on my back as I watch in shock and bewilderment, as a very amused and cocky Edward looks down upon me, once again giggling. Fucker! He really needs to cut that out.'

He takes a deep, staggered breath before placing his moist soft lips tenderly against mine. It's slow and passionate, sweet and aspiring, sliding his tongue between my lips. And without hesitation or delay, they part, granting him entrance. The smooth texture of its length explores the damp heat of my mouth. My hands roam the contours of his strong back, leading them up and over his shoulders.

A soft, barely audible moan escapes my lungs once my fingers slip into his soft hair, as I somewhat desperately but eagerly scratch his scalp and slightly tug on its ends. He groans deep and hard, making me whimper in anticipation.

We're lost and falling. The sensation delights and overwhelms me. My head spins as my chest tightens, feeling his long warm fingers slip shakily between the opening in my jeans again, and down the front of my briefs. My breath hitches and his name falls from me nervously, but wantonly.

"Shi...Shit! Ed...Edward. Fuck! Babe."

As I nervously fold my hand around his, squeezing tight, I'm battling in my mind, wondering if I have the strength to let this continue, just to maybe be kicked in the teeth within seconds.

He presses his face to my neck, and I feel his hot breath fan my fevered skin as he whimpers knowingly but lustfully.

"Jassssssssssper please! I need to do this. I really need this! Please, babe."

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. It's been a while since Edward's taken the lead this much. Don't get me wrong, the boy's utterly fucking hot when he does, and a genius with the things he can come up with. But the thought of him automatically retreating scares the living shit out of me still. I'm a little wary. I really don't know how much more rejection my heart can take. But I find myself fighting the urge to monopolize this experience, wanting to let him know and understand that I can and do trust him and his judgements. So I let myself go, I let my mind wander to our better - carefree - untroubled and lighthearted times, making me relax and hand over total control to my beautiful excited boy.

His fingers tighten around my length, and the sensation causes my breath to stagger and get caught in the back of my throat. My heart skips as I gasp, feeling the pad of his thumb circle the thick head of my aching cock. I'm wet and wanton. Fuck knows I'm always wanton.

My eagerness engulfs me as I buck desperately into his awaiting palm and fingers, feeling him batten securely around my dick as I shamelessly fuck his hand.

I whimper childishly as he releases his hold, but then his eagerness shows as he frantically grabs and pulls at my jeans, pushing them down and away, wanting better access to my body. 'I gotta show my support and let him know I have his back, cause, people, we all know that's how I roll.' So I find myself eagerly kicking off my boots, determined to be able to have my jeans removed in mere seconds if need be.

We're stumbling and fumbling like teenagers, the antics taking me back to the carefree days off our youth, being in his childhood home, rolling around in that little ass bed of his. When times were easier and we couldn't get enough of one another, nearly killing each other in the process. The thought excites me, the memory causing my skin to tingle and my heart to pound dramatically in my chest, as I feel him once again wrap his fingers around my cock.

Holding on for dear life, I join him in his manipulations, folding my own hand with his. As he gently starts to stroke me, his thumb once again swipes the head, spending the pre-cum and making me moan harder and deeper.

My head is spinning and my heart is pounding, heaving in my chest. I'm finding it hard to stay in the moment.

His hand is hot and slick, his fingers squeezing in all the right places, making me fuck them shamelessly, making my body beg for more and my eyes close as lust and desire take over. And then in surprise - and a little fucking shock, if I'm being honest - his mouth is on my ear, roughly sucking on the lobe and licking the outer rim, his warm, damp breath catching my hair and making my skin tingle. And that's when I hear his breathless strained voice inquire, "You like fucking my hand, don't you, Jasper?"

The question steals my breath, and causes my heart to race wildly. A nod of my head into his shoulder is my only noticeable answer.

Then I feel his teeth nipping and biting playfully, feeling them pinch against my skin, making me groan with excitement as I eagerly squeeze his fingers tighter around my dick, making myself whimper breathlessly.

"Edward! Yes. Please baby. Fuck me! Wow. I need to come!"

I'm pulled up short as he chuckles into my throat, and I realize joyously that my boy really wants to play.

Then he whispers huskily, "I'm not going to fuck you, baby. Not here-not now."

I groan childishly, and very fucking loudly.

Then his tone changes to one of playfulness. "Cause someone forgot to bring the lube, but that's OK! I won't point any fingers."

He squeezes my cock a little tighter, relaying that he is blaming me for that one, causing me to release a strangled "Yelp!" making him laugh to himself before continuing devilishly.

"But just so you know, I am going to send you on one hell off a wild ride, babe, so I hope you brought your floaties."

Thinking nervously to myself. Fuck me! What the hell have I started? And where the fuck did my nice, quiet, innocent boy go? And if ya give me a half an hour, I'll let ya know if I really want him back.

'Can't say I didn't warn ya'll! A selfish bastard, I am, plain and simple. Selfish!'

He's painfully slow, pressing and squeezing, making me squirm beneath him. My hand around his tries to quicken the pace, but he's having none of it.

He brushes me off. The boy has a plan in mind, and I'm guessing no matter what the fuck I do, he won't be changing it anytime soon.

As he pulls me tighter to him, rolling us on our sides, facing one another, I feel his hard cock slide up against my hand. It nudges at my fingers, and I feel his wetness glide over each of them. I release my hold reluctantly, as he does his, enabling his dick to lay side by side with my own.

The sensation sends bolts up my spine, the pressure of us being pressed together by his hand is driving me over the edge. My groans are loud as my body bucks with his, the heat and pleasure takes over and consumes me. My body shakes as my need for release grows tight in my thighs and belly. His name falls from my lips over and over. My hand finds his hair, pulling roughly, pressing our lips tighter and tighter. I can't fucking breathe - I don't want to fucking breathe - I want to fucking come - and as I'm about to be sent spiraling over the edge, my head ready to explode, he suddenly slows his pace once more, making me groan in frustration, and if truth be told, I'm a little more than pissed off.

Don't get me wrong, he doesn't stop. He just fucking slows, painstakingly bringing me back down. His kisses are softer as he leaves my lips and makes contact with my cheeks and throat. His breathing evens out and his fingers, though still pumping and playing, loosen around our cocks. My hand in his hair tries to direct him back to where his lips once were. I find myself frantically trying to hold on to the feeling off euphoria. We're pulling and pushing, I'm there - I want fast and hard. He's not - and wants slow and steady. Pissing me the fuck off even more.

Which leads me to revert back to being a two-year-old and fucking having to cry whine and beg.

"Edward Please!... Edward don't stop!... Please!" I fumble for his hand, trying to make him continue, but being the ass that my loving husband can be sometimes... he doesn't listen. Fucker!

I swear I felt a fucking tear roll down my face.

He leans back smiling, all flushed and panting. His eyes meet mine, making me calm my breathing, and stifle my whimpers.

Then suddenly the mood changes and something surreal takes over. The air around us is now thick and humid, and time seems to take on a new role, a slower role, a less urgent sense of expectancy.

I see it in his eyes, I feel it in his touch, he wants this moment to matter. He wants this time to mean more than just us fooling around. Like me, Edward needs normalcy. And if I can do nothing else to make him feel complete, I can surely give him this.

So with understanding, trust and a little grace, he moves slowly down my body, his lean fingers pulling at the hem of my shirt, freeing me from it and throwing it off to the side. His chest slides with mine as he lays his body on me, his lips attacking my hardened nipples, squeezing one gently between his thumb and finger as he tenderly sucks and noisily slurps at the other. My back arches into him. A deep moan, rolls from my chest, escaping my lips in a strangled gush as his teeth clamp down hard on my piercing, tugging it roughly.

"Fuck! Edward...I..I..Fuc..Ed..." My belly tightens as he drags his thick tongue over the now stinging nipple, causing my breath to catch in the back of my throat. I have to close my eyes to the overwhelming satiation attempting to devour my soul. And who we kidding? Nearly making me fucking cum right then and there.

His tongue continues its journey, lapping at my abs, nipping stormily at the taut skin around my muscles. My flesh ripples and goosebumps appear under his touch as my muscles dance with every lick and bite he makes. He's sure to leave marks, but at this moment, that's the least of my worries.

His tongue and teeth are sending the most amazing tingles through my body, making my cock harder, if that's even God damn possible.

I'm nearly there. I'm very close. I feel cum dampen my hip and groin as he strokes me leisurely, making me whine like a girl, hoping to all hell that he gets sick of listening to me bitch and quickens his pace. But in the good old fashioned Edward way, he doesn't. 'The boy is fucking evil, I tell ya! Evil.'

And as I'm caught up in the power surge from the electricity running through my skin and muscles, it takes me a second -'now mind you, just a second' - to realize that my dick is now in his hot, moist mouth.

I raise my head, needing to see, wanting to witness for the first time in what seems like an eternity, Edward's mouth and beautiful plump lips wrapped seductively around my cock. And as per usual, the sight never fails to amaze me. The sun is catching his hair in all the right spots and his skin is flushed and glistening with a slight sweat, and, oh my gravy! His deep, dark forest greens are staring right up at me - right though me - right into my soul. So what the fuck do I do? I cum. 'Yeah! You heard me!" I fucking cum, quicker than the energizer bunny on crack.

Throwing my head back on the blanket with a hard thud, I raise my hand to my eyes. I'm pissed - I'm angry - and if truth be told, a little fucking embarrassed. What the fuck! What am I? A teenager?

But as I lay caught up in my own shame and disappointment, I feel Edward continue. He doesn't miss a beat. His tongue drags over me, licking me clean, and sending shivers up my spine. His warm fingers rub my thighs massaging them tenderly as they slide behind me, grabbing my butt cheeks. I feel as my flesh bends to his will, and within seconds, my heart starts racing again and my breathing quickens.

He's licking and kissing, biting and nipping, and amazingly my spent body, though tired and limp, still responds to his manipulations.

He's between my legs, his lean fingers down the back off my jeans, cupping my ass. Then I feel him pulling and tugging frantically. The boy's a madman and acting like a lunatic, desperately trying to remove the offending clothing.

Trying my best to help him out, I raise my ass off the blanket as he leans back, releasing me from my denim prison. He huffs loudly, his eyes bright and excited as I smile back up at him. Then in the same instant, and in a flash, my boxers are gone, joining my jeans and t-shirt on the grass beside our blanket.

I gasp in awe and excitement as Edward chuckles above me. It takes me a second to realize that I'm lying there naked and hard. 'Yep hard! the boys a gem.' But as I give our surroundings one quick glance, content in the fact that we are alone, and the view from the house is obstructed by the large trees, and that there is no way in hell that a certain nosy Mrs. Sally Sweeney could ever see us, even if she tried, I start to relax, laying myself back, cockily folding my hands behind my head, just waiting patiently for the festivities to commence.

Then I watch excitedly as Edward leans forward. His eyes darken and his smile widens as he nonchalantly places his hands under my thighs, lifting them easily and pushing them in towards my chest.

That's when I get it. That's when what's about to happen next dawns on me, and my fucking belly starts doing flips. 'OK! Let's face it, more than flips, I feel like I have the whole fucking Olympic gymnastic team in my stomach.' Cause as my breath catches in my throat, I feel his long, hot tongue travel painfully slow between my ass cheeks as his fingers tighten around my thighs, causing the loudest moan that I have ever heard release itself from my lips.

"Ohhhhh...My Go...God..Ed...Edward!...What the fuck!"

He hums contentedly into my flesh, sending shock-waves throughout me, causing me to buck up onto his face as his thumb glides over my entrance pressing down roughly then with a slight swipe massaging it gently. I'm lost. I'm falling. My skin can't take it -goosebumps invade every inch as shivers run rampant up and down my spine.

My senses are on overload, and I'm panting crazily as my heart feels like it's fighting to free itself from my chest. I'm trying to hang on. I'm trying to gain some control, but I can't. I'm finding it hard to breathe. I'm finding it hard to think. And I'm finding it hard to stay in the moment, as my body gently convulses and my fingers claw at the blanket, then at his hair, then back to the blanket. I feel like I'm stuck in a tidal wave, drowning in its strength and power, finding myself praying to all that is holy that I didn't forget to bring my floaties, cause right God damn now, I think I need them.

And as his hot tongue dampens my puckered skin, the tip of his thumb gently glides into me, causing me to buck eagerly, taking him a little further, pushing him a little deeper. I hungrily scream, having to bring my hand up to muffle my noise and stifle my cries of passion, frantically trying to find my mouth unable to place it, having trouble keeping even one coherent thought in my head. The sounds of licks and slurps echo in my ears as the pounding of my heartbeat causes pressure behind my tightly closed eyelids. My whole body is on fire with lust and excitement and as I feel the tip off his thumb hit where I've been wanting it to be for what seems like forever. Once again and without warning, I exploded.

My head hits the hard ground with a thump as my shaky weak legs fall like wet spaghetti to each side of Edward's body. I'm finally able to open my eyes as I feel his hot panting breath on my skin. I see him raise above me, his eyes bright and his smile wide. The fucker looks so smug! But right now, he has every reason and right to be. I pull him to me, attacking his mouth, sucking his tongue into mine, as my hand slips between us, grabbing him a little rough and hard, trying desperately to bring him his release and hopefully make him feel as satisfied as I do at this moment.

And as we kiss passionately, not able to get enough of each other, our lips, teeth and tongues meet and rejoice. He whispers my name, and I follow with his. He moans shakily, I groan deeply. Our bodies are hot and flushed; our breathing is staggered and strained.

My hands slide over him. Sweat and cum combine to help me manipulate my movements on his body. And as my fingers tighten around him, easily gliding up his length, I feel him pulse and cum as his breath catches a hushed but powerful "Jassssssssssssper" releases from his poor, swollen lips, making me grin like a fucking crazy person.

We wallow in our bliss for a few moments, limbs entwined, faces in each other's shoulders, calming our breathing and steadying our heartbeats. He pulls back, making me whimper slightly, causing him to smile. And as his beautiful face gazes upon me, he whispers.

"Jasper, you will always be the best part of me, I love you!"

My grin widens and my dimples show as I answer him happily. "As you are the best part of me, and always will be."

Reaching for the basket, I grab the cloth napkins folded in the bottom, trying my best to clean us both off, hoping to remember to throw them in the wash with our own clothes later. The air around us is lighter as we both redress, minus shoes and socks, and lay back curled into each other. Our eyes meet, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I see it - I see us - I see what we are, and what we can become. And as my heart grows, my breath catches, unable to take it all in, unable to download and process all that is running through my mind.

Then he whispers shyly. "Jasper, there is a better part of us, you know!"

I raise my eyebrow in his direction questioningly. "Huh! What? How?"

And as we both stare at each other, it dawns on me, and gleefully in unison, we announce, "The boys!'

We both smile widely and I whisper. "Brandon Hale-Cullen."

He kisses my lips tenderly, stealing my words, as he whispers. Blain Hale-Cullen."

I run my fingers lazily through his fucked up hair, happily caught up in my musing. I hear a phone ring, and not just any phone, it's Edwards phone, so I eye him sternly. His eyes dart between mine and the basket, a nervous grin upon his lips. But as he glances in my direction one last time, I smile, letting him know, hoping he understands that the no phone rule is pretty much blown, so to speak, out off the water.

He sticks his fingers in the basket, fussing around, poking and prodding. His eyebrows rise and a sly grin takes over his beautiful face when he finds the ringing offender. He eyes, it then looks at me before answering, "Hello, Rose! How are you? Is everything OK?"

He eyes me widely, then returns his attention back to his call.

"Yes, Rose, he's right here. No! No! He doesn't have his phone on him; he didn't bring it. No, Rose! He's not screening his calls. Yes! I'm sure of that, Rose. He would never do that to you. You're his sister, and he loves you more than life, sweetie."

He looks at me in awe, and a little shocked, I can hear Rose go off. She sounds frustrated and a lot pissed.

'Yes, Rose, I'll put you on speaker. Give me a second, hold on."

Then he places the phone on the blanket, staring up at me, confused.

So to ease his nerves, I join in this conversation. "Hi, Sis! How are you? Whats up, babe? Why are you panicking?"

Her strained and worried voice comes back at us, making me feel somewhat guilty at being pissed at her for bothering us at such an intimate moment. It's not like she knew. But really she should have, she knows me like she knows the back of her own hand.

"I'm not panicking, Jasper! I was just worried when you didn't answer your phone."

"Well OK! Sweetie, I'm here now. Sorry for worrying you; that was not my intent. So! Whats up? Is everything OK? Shit!...Sis!... is Mama OK?"

I hear her take a deep breath and my heart stops. Edward reaches for me and I grab his hand like my life depends on it, and at this moment it does.

"Rose? Rose? Rose! please answer me. What the hell is going on?"

"Jasper, calm the hell down will ya? God your such a drama queen sometimes. Mama is fine; she's in the kitchen preparing dinner, and, oh yeah, she sends her love and kisses to you and Edward. Anyway, down to the more important stuff and the task at hand, my reason for calling you and bothering you while your away on a dirty weekend with your lovely husband. This call has got to do with me."

I stare at Edward and he shrugs his shoulders in my direction, raising his eyebrows in confusion as I mirror his actions with the same moves.

"OK, Sis, so what is it? What trouble have you gotten yourself into now?"

I hear her sigh deeply then she rushes out her answer on one hurried breath, faster than I can even keep up finding myself only catching every other word.

"Emmett...marry...aisle..."

I close my eyes, giving myself a moment, sucking air through my nose and releasing it out my mouth before returning to my sister and her oh so Rose-like conversation.

"Rose hold on a God damn minute! I can't make out a word you're saying. Can you repeat yourself, and this time treat me like I'm a two-year-old and explain it to me slowly."

"Jasper, sweetie, you are a two-year-old! But for right now, I'll humor you and go slow so you can keep up. Emmett has asked me to marry him, and I want to know if you will do me the honor off walking me down the aisle, dearest brother of mine."

Edward squeals like a fucking girl and Rose decides to join him, as it takes me a second to process what she just said. Then I see Edward stop and stare, and for some reason, everything goes silent and I look at him, confused, and he stares between me and the phone.

I raise my eyebrow at him questioningly. As he whispers. "Aren't you going to answer her, hon? She's waiting for your blessing."

And then it dawns on me. Shit! I've left her hanging, shaking my head, regaining some control, I answer proudly, "Oh my God, sweetie, I am so happy for you, and yes, of course I will be honored to walk my beautiful sister down the aisle. It will be my pleasure to share your amazing wonderful day."

I hear her sob quietly as she whispers into the phone. "Thank you, Jasper. I love you so much. I...I wish...I just...well you know what I'm trying to say, but I'm happy that you will be there with me. Thank you again."

I know why she's sad. I know what's running through her mind. She would prefer her father to be the one walking her down the aisle, just like any other little girl that has dreamed of this day would. But because of me, she can't. Because he couldn't handle his only son being gay, she can't. Because he was an abusive bigot, she can't. And because our Mama divorced his sorry ass because he was, she cant. That makes it all the more my responsibility to make sure she has one of the most beautiful weddings a girl could ever dream of.

"I know, sweetie! I know! But don't you worry, it's all, good and we will be fine. And I promise I will not disappoint you. I'll do my best to make you proud."

I hear a gasp from the other end of the phone as she whispers sternly, "You listen to me, Mr. Jasper Hale-Cullen. You have never, and could never do anything that would disappoint me, and you have always made me proud. You are an amazing brother, a wonderful trustworthy friend, an outstanding and devoted husband, and you're going to be a fantastic father. So never let me hear the word disappoint leave your mouth again. And really, if truth be told, I couldn't wish for anyone better than you to walk me down the aisle, and I think I'll be the honoured one that day."

I feel the tear roll down my cheek as Edward' s soft fingers swipe it away before it hits my chin, I look at him and he smiles, nodding in agreement with Rose's every word, mouthing silently "I love you" into the air as I return his sentiment with an "I love you" and a shy smile.

Then I hear Rose cough.

"Jasper, I'm going to let you go. I have a lot to talk to Mama about. The woman is driving me nuts already, and it's only been a few hours." Then she whispers, "Please hurry home. I need you to save me."

Edward and I both laugh as we hear her huff on the other end of the phone.

"OK! Sis. Tell Mama we'll see her soon. We will be leaving in a day or two. Good luck and congratulations to you and Emmett. Oh! and by the way, tell the big guy we'll be having a talk when I get home"

She giggles her reply. "Oh, you leave him alone, Jasper. And don't be giving him a hard time. He will be your brother-in-law soon."

And as I stare over at Edward - my Edward - my beautiful boy and husband, my chest tightens as I remember what Emmett and I went through to bring him home safely.

"He will never be my brother-in-law, Rose." I hear her gasp worriedly, cause we all know the woman's unable to let me finish a fucking sentence. "Cause he's already my brother."

I choke back a tear as I hear her soft cry. "Oh... Jasper, thank you... I..I got to go...I'll see you both when you get home." Raising her voice a little, but still somewhat upset she inquires, "Wheres Edward?"

"I'm right here, Rose, Congrats to you and Emmett. Tell the big guy I send my love."

"I will, Edward, thank you. And we love you too, babe. Can't wait to see you guys when you get home. You both sound wonderful, and can I even or should I even dare to say rested?" We both laugh as I hear Rose join in. "Now take care and goodbye, guys. Love you both. See you soon."

And in unison, we say our goodbye's and the phone goes dead, and then there's nothing but silence.

Edward and I sit across from one another on the blanket, crossed legged, just staring and thinking, and, from time to time, smiling. He reaches for my hand and I entwine my fingers with his, both of us sighing deeply as I think to myself. Wow what a year, I love my fucking life.


	26. Hangover Happy And Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N...Wow! Here it is people the last chapter of my story. To say that I am sad to see the boys go would be an understatement. They have lived in my head for so long I have become quite fond off them.
> 
> I would first like to thank iamamy..author off the story sleeves.. for turning me down on my prompt when I offered it to her, demanding in a way that I grow some balls and do it myself, And here I am 26 chapters later saying my goodbyes and for that I will be forever grateful.
> 
> Next my wonderful beta Deβra Anne. As I've mentioned before this was not her cup off tea to start with. But the woman has rocked and supported my story and myself through all our highs and lows, and I don't think I could ever find the words sincere enough to thank her properly.
> 
> To my amazing pre reader Prassacut author of Roads What can I say, without Laurence Alex my boys would probable look more like 16 year old girls preparing for the prom, rather than grown men preparing for a family.
> 
> And last but not least my awesome readers with their amazing reviews. Thank you for sticking with me and for sometimes kicking my ass into gear.
> 
> So with all goodbyes behind us lets go see what Mr Jasper and Mr Edward Hale-Cullen have been up too.

I find myself fussing and fumbling like a fucking crazy person, frantically running around the bedroom, behaving somewhat like the ass I'm known to be. I'm trying to pack our bag and search for shit all at the same time, but I swear, I don't remember having this much crap when we arrived.

I'm telling ya, people! Let Edward loose in the local stores or flea markets, and you never know what the fuck he's going to come home with. Note to self! Confiscate the boy's credit card ASAP! He's just way too dangerous with it. Between the vintage t-shirts and old designer jeans, I really don't know where the hell he's supposed to put all this shit, never mind me having to find room for them in this bag. I bet he's forgotten we came on the bike; he's thinking I have a trunk to throw all this crap in.

We're leaving today, finally heading for home. To say that I'm God damn eager to get us on the road would be a fucking understatement.

"What the fuck is Edward doing?" I hear you say.

Well... Edward has decided that right now would be the perfect time for his cool, calm, delectable butt to be climbing into the shower.

And as I've pointed out a few times before, The boy's useless! Fucking useless.

While I'm running around all hot and bothered, trying to pack our shit, down on my knees, scrambling under the bed retrieving sneakers, dirty socks, and yep, even a pair of underwear.

Crap! Alice is right! We do have a nerve, calling ourselves gay men.

If gayness was a club, and we were season card holders, they'd definitely be revoking our shit right now, cause stereotypical gay men, we are not. I'm sure there would be something about neatness in the handbook somewhere. Don't ya think!

Oh shit! I can't forget the cowboy boots. Spying them, I reach under the bed further, stretching my fingertips and grabbing one by the loop, pulling it towards me, watching rather amused as the stray underwear dangles from its toe.

The irony of the whole situation making me roll my eyes and smirk to myself. But fuck! Really! Edward would skin my hide if I misplaced these fuckers. 'The boots that is, people! Not the underwear.'

And as I was saying, at this very hectic, totally confusing moment, he decides to take a shower.

'What did I tell ya? Useless!... Fucking useless!'

I knew I should have taken care of this crap last night. It was one of the first things on my to do list. But the boy side-tracked me, the sneaky little bastard that he can be sometimes. Don't get me wrong; it was in the most delicious way possible, my sweet, wonderful, horny-as-all-hell husband had other plans in mind when we came to bed, and what kind of spouse would I be if I denied him?

'So I take that back. Sometimes the boy's not so fucking useless after all.'

Edward has been amazing these last few days. I've watched in awe as his confidence and strength returned tenfold. It's like the news of our sons has breathed new life into him, getting to pick their names making them more real, and in turn making him upbeat and giddy. He's just so full of fun and vibrancy again, reminding me more off his former self.

Plus the fact that when he looks my way and smiles his crooked smile, I can't help but melt in his direction. 'What can I say! The boy owns me!'

Even the news of Rose and Emmett's upcoming wedding is causing him to gush with pride. But so help me God! The next time he bitches about Alice being a control freak, I'm gonna have to point this kinda shit out to him. Cause he's starting to act like this is his fucking wedding.

He wants me to offer the pub for the rehearsal dinner, and has pointed out the fact that our yard, given a little work from Emmett's crew, would be the perfect setting for the ceremony and reception; they would have the lake as a backdrop. He even had the nerve to suggest what time off the God damn day it should be held, wanting the moon to dance across the water. Moon? Dance? What the hell?

I'm really close to buying the fucker a dress, I swear! Cause slowly but surely, the dude 's turning into his sister. Problem being, I wouldn't have room for it in this God damn bag right now!

He even had the audacity to wake my sorry ass a few times during the night, excitedly shaking me, wanting me to call Rose and give her his suggestions, all eager and enthusiastic like. Not wanting to bust my boy's bubble and have him lose his confidence, I grabbed him rather sternly by the shoulders, looked him straight in his deep, gorgeous forest greens and basically told him to... Fuck off! Wise the hell up! And go back to fucking sleep.

Or I swear! His dead body will be found by the roadside on the way home this time. For sure!

Then the little sissy started with the name calling and pouting. He acts like such a spoiled brat sometimes! Where the hell he gets that from, I will never know! Grown ass man acting childish. Whatever!'

Somewhat reluctantly -'Yeah! Right!' - Having to shove my fucking dick in his mouth, just to shut him the hell up.

'Not that he minded... mind you!'

But honestly, you'll never hear me complaining about my husband's new turnabout. Cause the boy's been as horny as a whore at a buy one get one free dildo sale. And now that he's back to keeping me on my toes, I couldn't be happier.

Take last night for instance, we'd just finished a nice farewell dinner with Sally, and after a lot of laughs and a few tears due to our departure, with us having to insist on helping her clean up and put stuff away. Just needing more time to reassure her that we would be fine, letting her know that this wouldn't be the end of our friendship, and that we'll always keep in touch.

I find myself stumbling yet again to bed, cause God knows I've never drank this much in my God damn life before, not even out for pool night with the guys have I ever been so wasted.

' I'm telling yea, the kick ass old lady is a pistol, she's a force to be reckoned with at times.'

So here I am, just having finished up my nightly routine. After a few clumsy, mismanaged attempts, I'm stumbling out of the bathroom, making my way to the bed, trying my darnedest to get my fucking bearings and clear my head.

It takes me a few minutes to stop the room from spinning, standing naked in the doorway, not knowing if I was holding up the door-frame, or it was holding up me.

And suddenly I'm caught off guard, rendered breathless. And fuck knows I sobered up real damn quick. Cause I swear to God my heart skipped a few beats as my hand grips the door frame tighter. And my lazy ass cock decides not to be so lazy, because as my eyes come into focus, they fall upon the bed. And there, lying on his back, hands behind his head, ankles nonchalantly crossed, buck naked as the day he was born, in all his fucked up red headed glory is my beautiful hard-as-all-hell! boy, smiling lazily in my direction.

The sight of him causes my chest to hurt and my vision to blur, but as I regain my composure, I get the opportunity to ogle him more thoroughly.

His lean, muscular form stretches out over the comforter, his pale skin appears illuminated in deep contrast with the dark covers. Shaking my head, I drink him in, his shoulders tight and strong complementing his firm chest and abs. A soft coating of reddish copper hair dusts his body deliciously in all the right places, causing all the ones on mine to stand on end and pay attention

My lust filled eyes have no choice but to shamelessly devour him, as they follow his neatly trimmed happy trail down to where I belong - the place that I call home - and still to this day refer to as the promised land.

My lids close slowly, and I take a few deep breaths, feeling the need to steady myself - not only due to the alcohol still running through my veins, but by the sheer reaction and overwhelming effect this boy - this man - still brings about in me.

I watch in awe as his muscles ripple in excitement and anticipation beneath my lust-filled scrutiny, amazed at the fact that even after all these years, we still excite one another, still bring out the want and need in one another. I'm astonished at how eager we still are to enjoy one another and fulfill one another's desires.

And no matter how much time passes, I will never tire of it, never bore or become uninterested. Cause no matter what way you look at it, or feel the need to dissect it, he's still the boy I knew, he's still the man I love, and he'll always and forever be the best part of me.

Running my fingers through my hair, realizing I'm still in the bathroom doorway, I have to steady myself, trying my best to urge my shaky legs to move forward. The fire in my belly overwhelms me, like a magnetic pull knowing I needed to be closer to him.

I make my way shakily to the bed, sitting on the edge, and within seconds, I'm feeling his fingers play on my tattooed sleeve, his touch causing my lids to heavily fall as my breathing quickens. The bed dips as I sense him move slowly in my direction.

Suddenly my skin starts to tingle as I feel his wet, heavy tongue drag along my tat as it follows his playful fingers up my arm. I don't move - I can't move - it's so painfully slow but deliciously erotic. A coating of goosebumps covers my flesh as my over-eager cock springs to attention wanting more - wanting this - needing him.

With my back still to him, I'm unable to move a muscle, not even to glance in his direction, let alone utter words of lust or encouragement. I'm frozen in time, feeling lost in a dream, so overwhelmed from the sensation of his lips and tongue on my flesh, kissing and nipping, that I can't find my voice or gain the strength to shift towards him, finding myself drowning in the sounds of his gentle sucks and heavy sighs echoing within the walls.

I gasp aloud when his fingers creep along my spine. His touch is soft as he gently and seductively glides his palms up my backbone, kneading and massaging at my flesh as he goes. Then without warning, once again his tongue follows his fingers' travels. My skin screams in delight, every nerve dances with excitement, as I feel the smooth dampness drag up my spine and glide across my shoulders.

We have yet to utter a word or make eye contact, the gentle moans, deep sighs and gravelly groans being the only communication we need as his wet lips reach my collarbone and devour my neck.

He shifts to his knees, and I feel his chest slightly touching my back, as pre cum from his hardened dick dampens my skin and coats my spine. His fingers reach my hair, fingering it frantically, tugging on the ends, pulling me somewhat roughly towards his mouth, as his hot breath lavishes my skin with moisture and his teeth gently nip at my hairline.

I can't take much more of this. I'm going to hyperventilate or fucking explode, not sure which one, but whatever comes first will hopefully ease the pressure and put me out of my misery quicker. My chest hurts for him as I fight with my inner self, trying my best not to touch him or break his concentration.

My breathing is labored and my eyes hurt from the pressure of squeezing them shut. My hands are frozen on my thighs, fingertips digging eagerly into my skin, having the urge to reach for him, wanting and longing to pull him tighter to me.

But he's keeping his distance for now, just brushing his body up against mine at all the right moments, knowing when I need reassurance and sensing when I need a little more.

'The boy is fucking killing me here people! Killing me!'

But I know better than to rush him. know better than to mess with his plans. And right now I'm hoping and praying to all that is holy, that he has a fucking God damn plan.

Then really! Like really! I think I die. No truthfully, I fucking die! I think I've God damn died and gone to heaven!

Cause in this now hot, humid room, the only light being filtered through the heavy shades and curtains, I hear my boy's husky voice whisper, as his tongue wets the outline off my ear and dampens my hair.

And fuck me sideways! I just die at his words.

"Jasssssssssssper! You taste so good. I really can't get enough. I want to lick you all over. Then when I'm done with my mouth I'm going to continue with my ass, because its been way to long since I've fucked you senseless."

With that. I feel my hair being tugged roughly. My head falls back as my eyes shoot open, feeling my body hit the bed with a thud. It all happens so quickly, I don't even get the opportunity to object.

'Fuck! Not like I would. Right!'

His mouth attacks mine with a vengeance, as his lean form straddles my waist, my arms are pinned behind my head as his fingers entwine tightly with mine.

It,s out off control. The room is starting to spin, and my body trembles in anticipation. It's fast and furious, and I'm finding it hard to keep up.

He's kissing, biting, sucking and licking, I can't fucking think right now, and my throat's bone dry, making my whimpers and pants hoarse and inaudible. As his hands roam my body his fingers grope my skin,and his tongue laps my flesh. I struggle wildly beneath him, trying to stay in the moment.

I'm loving every God damn minute of his manipulations. It's all so overwhelming and exciting. I'm elated by his vigor and strength, and overjoyed in his willingness to explore. He's being dominant and powerful. My need and want for him to claim me burns like a furnace in my belly.

Our chests hammer in harmony, as deep hollow moans echo in our ears.

He's griding himself on my belly, the head of his dick rubbing up against my ribs. I swear any harder, and he'll break one! Feeling the head of my own cock slip easily between his cheeks with each thrust he makes, and the more eager he becomes, the closer I am to losing it.

I hear my name over and over. It's strange in my ears; it's low and strong, yet loud and soft. I feel I'm losing my mind; there's no holding on. I try to stay in this moment, doing my best to keep my eyes on his glorious face - passion and lust, love and pride, written in each of his handsome features.

He finally releases my hands as his fingers tangle themselves in my curls. I quickly cup each of his thighs, spreading him wider and pulling him tighter. A loud, hearty groan escapes his lips as his hands pull tight in my hair and his head falls heavily between his shoulder blades.

And as he kisses me one more time with the utmost vigor and passion, his hand in my hair slips gently down my neck and shoulder, not stopping until it comes to rest on my chest. Pushing himself upwards, he reaches to the side. I'm watching in awe as his fingers make their way to his mouth. I notice the foil packet of lube as it catches the light. Ripping it between his teeth, he smiles softly. Leaning forward gently, he proceeds to prepare himself for me.

'Yeah! You heard me... For me!... Priceless!'

His face mesmerizes me, his features calm and serene. Even if I wanted or tried, I couldn't break his stare. His eyes are deep, dark and heavy, his cheeks flushed and smooth, his lips slightly parted as short soft pants dust my face while he eagerly fingers himself in preparation.

Once more, his mouth attacks me hungrily as we frantically grope each other's hair and eagerly grind and push on each other's flesh. And with one last suck of my bottom lip into his mouth, biting down gently, causing me to whimper slightly, he places himself on the head off my cock.

My hands on his thighs reach further, cupping each butt cheek. Taking one last deep breath before I smile lovingly in my boys direction, I push him gently, and oh so painfully slow, down onto me.

Everything goes silent - everything feels surreal. We both suck in air and hold our breath as we let our heavy lids fall. Not daring to breathe again or reopen our eyes until his butt meets my thighs with a soft slap.

Leaning forward, he wraps his strong arms around my shoulders for leverage. As my hands and fingers massage the tender flesh of his butt, he rides me smoothly. We are a far cry from a few seconds ago; there is no fast and furious, there's no need for control and power, but what there is, is love.

Our motions are fluent as our bodies move as one. I buck up, he pushes down. I pull out, he brings me back. We're feeding each other's need, just as we would complete each other's sentences, in the way only lovers do, and in a way only Edward and I can.

His breathing quickens as his thighs tighten on my hips. My fingers dig harder into his flesh as his mouth makes contact with my nipple. He's sucking hard, biting softly, sending ripples of pleasure deep into my core. With my head pressed back hard against the mattress, I chant his name, praying to all that is holy to make this last and hold me off.

But fuck! Someone didn't listen, cause as I feel his smooth, hot hole tighten around the head of my cock, I scream to the heavens, and I think even Mrs Sally Sweeney hears, if you must know. And as flashes of light dance behind my eyelids I came with a fury never known to me before, emptying myself deep into his body as I feel his hot cum coat mine.

I'm taken out of my musing by a cough and a chuckle. Raising my eyes, I'm met with his smiling deep forest greens, copper hair stuck to his head, water like rain drops falls upon his shoulders as I watch lustfully, following a tiny bead as it runs along his collarbone and down his chest.

He coughs again, messing with my fantasy. Fucker!

His laughter fills the room as I stare at him sternly, wondering what the hell crawled up his ass, cause it sure as fuck ain't me right now. And as my eyes reluctantly leave his, I follow his gaze, having no choice but to laugh myself. Noticing while lost in my day dream, I was still holding the cowboy boot in my hand with the missing underwear still dangling from its toe.

In two short strides, he's on me. His damp arms wrap around my neck and his smiling mouth makes contact with mine. Talking into the kiss he inquires, "This your way of telling me you went commando, babe?"

Forging disgust, I push him away gently, as he dramatically makes a show of falling backwards. I grab the hem of his towel in the process, leaving him wet and naked on the bed. Shaking my head, but hungrily taking a second look, I scold him. "No, sweetness, but your ass will be! If you don't hurry up and get dressed. And maybe we can get our butts on the road. We have people to see and places to be. Now! Chop! Chop! Edward, get a move on."

Rolling the damp towel and flicking it at his sexy ass, I happily watch him jump slightly as he scrambles to get dressed.

The thunder of heavy sighs pound deeply in my chest as Mrs Sally Sweeney stands on her front steps hugging the life out of two grown men. She has us both in an arm, squeezing us unbearably tight to her, sliver hair tickling our chins as her loud sobs wet our shirts. I glance at Edward. His eyes slightly roll and his face flushes. He's trying his best to be strong, but like me, his eyes are damp, holding back the emotion and love we now have for this old lady's awesomeness.

With one last kiss and a hug, and her fingertips tugging at our jackets, reluctantly letting us go, we climb on the bike and head for the highway.

I won't lie, I'm a little nervous to return to the scene of the crime, so to speak. It's been giving me butterflies in my belly and a tightness in my chest. But a lot has happened in the last few days to turn this around and bring my hopes up. So with all that I am and I'm hoping to become, I'm counting on that to get us through.

Edward and I are whole once more. We know there's no use dwelling on the past and letting it consume our future. Don't get me wrong, we are not foolish enough to think we've fixed everything, but we are intelligent enough to know help is still needed and will be sought after. But we also have a joint goal and dream, knowing that if we work together and stay strong, we can be unstoppable and can accomplish said goal and dreams.

So as the wind catches my hair and Edward's arms wrap around me tighter, his content sigh vibrating through my back and resting in my chest, I smile widely and head us both for home.

Fuck! What now? God does she ever stop!

I run up the stairs, taking two at a time, cause I swear the woman sounds like she's dying. Entering the boys' bedroom, I watch dumbfounded as she stands in the middle, circling, her tiny little hands on her now oh-so-big - 'But don't tell her I said that, cause she'll kill me!' – waist.

As we make eye contact, I inquire quizzically, "What, Alice? What now? Do we have yet another problem, sweetie?"

Her head snaps in my direction with a look that I swear would kill and drop to his knees any grown man that didn't know her. And in a sarcastic-as-all-fucking-hell voice, she questions, "Cream and chocolate? Guys! Really! That's what you two supposedly queer-as-folk gay men came up with. Cream and fucking chocolate, Jasper Hale-Cullen?"

And with that, she turns on her tiny little feet, faster than I thought they should be able to carry her, and stamps quickly out of the room, yelling at the top off her lungs as she goes, "Where's my brother? Edward Hale-Cullen, where the hell are you? We need to talk, and pronto."

I follow after her, wanting to do my best and head her off at the pass, knowing that Edward really didn't have time for her shit right now, all the while thinking to myself, It's got to be drugs! Riley has to do drugs. And ya know what! Right now, I wouldn't blame him.

We've been home just over a month now, but I'm not going to lie to ya, settling back into our routine was hard at first. We found it difficult to be separated, not wanting to spend too much time apart, noticing that when we did we would be nervous and anxious the whole time, feeling the need to call each other every half hour just to check in.

But we knew in our hearts, and of course with a little help from our therapist, that the quicker we returned to normal living, the quicker we would grow and heal as a couple.

Seth and Edward talked at length, and Edward finally returned to work at the hospital - day shift for now, which he hates, cause he says its boring. And believe me, people, I constantly hear it, as he's found the need to remind me on a daily basis.

"But all the good shit happens after dark, Jasper. You'd be surprised at the fuckery that goes on in Forks when the townsfolk are asleep." He raises his eyebrows at me, trying to act all melodramatic and shit. "But, Jasper, during the day, its only school kids with coughs, and babies with peas stuck up their noses. It's boring, Jasper, just downright boring."

But the poor boy suffers through it, and secretly between you and me, I think he really prefers it.

'He's a trooper I tell yea! A fucking trooper he is.'

As for me, well that's gone a lot easier. Having Ben as my right hand man was the best move I ever made. I'll go in early help him set up for the lunch crowd, then the early bird dinner goer's, which in Forks is a lot,. 'Cause fuck knows so much happens in this sleepy old town after 6 PM. Well, according to my overly-excited, with a childlike imagination husband, that is!' Then I get to head home, leaving Ben, and sometimes Emmett, to deal with the night owls, knowing that I'm only a few blocks and a phone call away.

We've spent a lot of time with Emmett and Rose, helping with the wedding arrangements and deciding where to go for tuxes. And yes, people, just to let you know, Rose did agree with Edward's suggestions after all. The ceremony and festivities will be held in our back yard with the moon dancing off the lake.

Once again, Moon! Dancing! Fuck! Whatever. They're both fucking nuts if you ask me.

We've also busied ourselves getting the boys' room ready, painting and shopping, organizing and sorting. The excitement grows daily for their arrival, with even the grandmothers lending a helping hand, sometimes feeling the need to share our own baby stories and somewhat nightmares with each other.

Then there's Alice - Oh Alice! - who in these last few weeks has been somewhat of a nightmare come to life herself. She has found the need to follow us around like a guard dog, and sometimes stick her little pixie nose in where it doesn't fucking belong. 'I know, shock. Right!' But we've tolerated it for the most part - that was up until this very moment.

And now I find myself trying once again to head her off at the pass, wanting to save my boy from her madness.

She makes it to the kitchen in record time. Shit! the pixie was always fast, even in fucking high school! And is met with - to my surprise - an overly calm Edward.

He turns as she enters, giving her one of his awesome crooked grins. But for some reason, it doesn't have the same effect on her as it does on me, cause instantly she starts her verbal attack, everything coming out in rushed sentences, finger pointing in his face and all.

"Cream and chocolate, Edward! Really? You gave these boys a cream and fucking chocolate bedroom."

And as he takes her pointing finger in his hand, he slowly smiles and kisses her knuckles, but not before glancing my way, giving me an understanding and reassuring wink. Then in a quite gentle voice, he answers her, "Yes, Alice, the boys' room is deep, warm cream with a chocolate stripe around the center. I know that, cause Jasper and I painted it. We happen to like it, and think it fits well with their plush rug and cozy furniture. So don't get me wrong when I say this, sweetie, cause I love you to death and have the utmost respect for what you are doing for us, but these are our sons, Jasper's and mine. And I know, like with our wedding, everything you touch seems to belong to you, and you would like to consider them yours. But they're not, Alice, they're ours. You are their aunt, and in my heart, I know you'll make an awesome one. But these are our sons, so you need to back the fuck off and let us do our job."

'And really! Like really! I could have fucking jumped the boy and attacked his ass right there and then. Right on the kitchen floor, sister and fucking all watching. Cause my husband rocks.'

With that, she steps back, crosses her arms across her chest and eyes us both. My face darts between hers and Edward's, waiting for the next move, hoping for a good outcome. And as he mirrors her stance, he smiles widely and openly in my direction. I gulp hard, wanting to move my hands to my balls, feeling the need to protect them at this moment. My eyes fall on Edward's precious package, as I think to myself. 'The boy's on his own. There's no way I can beat Alice to them. The pixie's fast, I tell ya! Fast.'

And as the second awesome crooked grin spreads across another Cullen's face, the tension eases. Flinging her bubble body towards us both, she grabs us in a hug, squeezing tight, nearly cutting off circulation. Whispering softy, she contently gasps into our hair. "I know, boys, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I know I have a tendency to take over and control, but I do it all in love and in caring, just hoping and wanting my family to have the best."

Straighting myself and getting out of her hold - 'Cause really the woman was about to suffocate me.' - I step to the side and let Edward and his sister have their moment.

He tenderly cups her face in his hands as he whispers quietly to her, "Sweetie, we know you do, and we love and care for you also. And we already know we have the best, cause we have each other, and your nephews will grow up knowing how awesome it feels to be loved and wanted because of you. And for that, Jasper and I will be forever grateful. But please don't worry; we got this."

She turns to me and I nod, unable to speak, figuring Edward has covered all our bases and has spoken truthfully for us both. And with damp eyes and heavy sighs, we all fall in for one more final family hug.

It's three thirty in the morning, and the house if finally still. I watch from my perch in the doorway as a sleeping Edward rocks the boys tenderly, Blain in one arm and Branden in the other. His light snores and their soft whimpers, the only music I want to listen to right now.

I sigh heavily in contentment as I watch all three snuggle close, flushed faces and lips parted in exactly the same way. I won't lie to ya, and really I think I'm a little biased when I think to myself. How lucking am I?

Not only do I have the most outstanding of men to share my life with, not forgetting how fucking fuckhot he is ta boot. But now I have the most gorgeous of children, I know! I know! All parents think and feel the same way, but really, they are gorgeous.

With their blond hair coming in curly, feeling a little guilty and sorry for them on that one, knowing how much of a fuckery my own has been to me over the years, but also their deep forest greens and beautiful cherry red pouty lips just like their dad. So when I say gorgeous, people, maybe I really should be thinking outstanding, not that I want to brag - but I can, so I will - they are all three outstanding.

It's been six weeks now, and to say it's been crazy would be an understatement. This kid shit takes a lot of getting used to. Thank God for grannies and aunts, cause Edward and I wouldn't know what to do if we didn't have them, and if the truth be told, we just might have killed each other by now if left to our own devices.

Sliding down the door, I bring my knees to my chest, folding my arms around them, as I watch in awe as my little family sleeps happily. I give myself a chance to reminisce back over their short little lives.

I was at the pub helping Ben set up for the lunch crowd when my phone started buzzing off the hook. As Ben picked it up, walking in my direction, his steps started to quicken and his eyes lit up. Showing me the screen, he starts yelling, "Jasper! It's Edward! It's Edward! Hurry, answer it. You never know, this might be the call off all calls, the one you've been waiting for."

But me being the ass that I am, 'I know people! I know.' I just rolled my eyes and nonchalantly wiped my hands on my jeans, hoping silently to myself that it was, but knowing how many false alarms we've had in the last few weeks, not expecting it to be.

As I press answer and bring the phone to my ear, I hear Edward screaming into the other end, "Jasper! Jasper! It's time, babe! It's time! Get your ass over here quick, Alice is on her way in with Riley. Babe, please hurry! Our sons are coming." Then he hangs up.

And as I stand shell-shocked just staring at my phone, Ben springs into action. Leaving everything where it was, he grabs me by the arm and leads me out of the pub, locking the door behind him, telling the few people on the sidewalk not to bother even waiting, we would be closed for the day, excitedly explaining to the gathered few, that he had babies to welcome into the world and that I was going to be a new dad.

With their congrats and friendly pants on the back, I barely remember Ben showing me to his car, stating that there was no way in hell he was letting me drive, and that there was no one big enough to stop him coming along to witness.

Making it to the hospital a few seconds after Alice and Riley pull up, Edward eagerly meets them at the front entrance. I glance at Alice first, needing to know in my heart that this was it, and the look in her eyes and the love in her smile was the only answer I needed to know. Because as my husbands twin forest greens looked back at me, I see it all, her anguish, her pain at this moment, but most of all, her utmost love for her only brother and me.

And as Edward gently helps her into an awaiting wheelchair and Ben eases me forward with his hand on my back, I finally look at my husband as he stands before making it to the rear of the chair, wanting nothing more than to get his sister inside and taken care of.

And when our eyes meet, I lose it. I feel tears of joy run down my face, and the sobs in my chest cause my heart to hurt more. But as I feel my body tremble and my head spin, I hear his soft velvet voice at my ear, and with love and gentleness, he lets me know that all will be well, once more being the strong one, once more being my rock, and taking me out of my panicked state.

"Jasper, this is it, they are finally coming. Hurry, follow me, let's go welcome our sons into the world."

And with that, the doors swish open and all hell breaks loose.

Then I hear little squeals and the clicking of high heels behind me. But not before the booming voice drowns out all the hospital noises and invades my eardrums.

"JASPER! YO BRO! WAIT UP! IS IT FINALLY TIME? ARE THE BOYS COMING? PLEASE TELL ME WE'RE NOT LATE! ROSE IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME IF WE MISSED THIS."

As I turn, I look into his happy, boyish face, but I'm unable to answer, as I feel Rose's small arms wrap around my middle. I look down, somewhat dazed, before squeezing her tightly to me, needing my only sister's comfort and support.

Ben once again steps in, slapping Emmett on the shoulder a few times, informing him that he will live to see another day, and if we all hurry up, we would all get to witness this miracle together.

So six hours and a lot of pain medication later, Edward and I sit at the side off Alice's hospital bed, a brand new baby boy in each of our arms. Alice is dozing in and out as Riley, God bless his soul, tends to her every want and need. Emmett is like a fucking guard dog standing behind our chairs, arms folded across his huge chest, just daring anyone to come within two feet of us and stopping them in their tracks if they try.

Rose kneels on the floor at our feet between each chair, just gazing at her new nephews with the utmost off love and pride. As the grannies sit side by side in the other corner off the room holding each other's hands and singing their own children's praises, as Ben and Angela try their best to get a word in edgewise laughing as both women frantically gush. I hear Carlisle in the hallway, speaking with the doctor, his voice is full of laughter and joy. He's already talking about the best schools and colleges his grandsons will be attending, having pride in his voice as only a new grandfather could.

So as I'm sitting there curled on the floor,I'm taking out off my musing as my eyes leave my beautiful sons faces, and I'm met with my just as beautiful husband's tired forest greens. He nods in agreement as he must see and read the love in my face.

Quietly I inquire, "Need help, sweetness?"

And as he gently nods, I rise to my feet and offer a helping hand, taking Branden in my arms. Tenderly kissing the top of his baby soft head, I take him to his crib. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Edward kiss Blain before laying him in his and covering him with his blanket.

We meet in the middle and I take my husband in my arms as he sighs a deep sigh of contentment onto my shoulder. Kissing his hair, I tell him it's time for bed, that like our sons, he, too, needs his rest. But before we can exit the room, he takes me by the hand and turns me towards both our peaceful sleeping sons, and in a soft whisper, asks, "Jasper, have you ever seen anything quite as beautiful as the sight before you right now?'

And as I gaze in awe and love at my husband - my partner - my best friend and my boy, I feel the need to let him know, "Yes, sweetness, I have. You, to me, will always be my first beautiful sight, but the boys are running a close second, I'll have you know."

He pushes me by the arm and chuckles. Leaning in, he kisses my lips, gently whispering into the kiss, "Jasper Hale-Cullen, you will always be the best part of me."

And as I return his kiss, I inform him tenfold, "As you will be of me, sweetness. As you will be of me always."


	27. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N.. Last one for this story ever! Who would have thunk it. Not the hell me! That's for sure...
> 
> A few big time thank yous... One to SM for giving me the boys to fuck with..
> 
> First. A whole hearted thank you to author Iamamy. For getting me started in writing for the Twi-fandom.
> 
> Second. Bellemeer author of There's a crack in everything. For seeing potential in me. Her persistence, encouragement and friendship kept me going...I will be forever grateful.
> 
> Third. Athena Gavin.. AKA...Musicmovesmypen author of Tell Me What You Want. For always letting me know that I could do this.
> 
> Forth. Laurence Alex..AKA..Prassacut author of Roads. For being such an outstanding pre-reader...and for teaching me the word "Fuckery"... Jasper will be forever in your debt.
> 
> And last but by no means least, my awesome kick ass beta Deβra Anne, For always making me look pretty on paper and for teaching me the importance of never forsaking or EVER pissing off your muse. Thank you babe.
> 
> And to you guys my rocking readers and reviewers. Big hugs and kisses and loads of thanks you. Your support has meant the world to me and for that I'll be forever overwhelmed humbled and grateful.
> 
> Now with all that said: Lets go check in on Edward, Jasper and the young Hale-Cullen's 5 years in their future.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and I look forward to reading your thoughts at the end

Stepping into the shower quietly, so as not to disturb him any more than need be, I'm stopped abruptly in my tracks, struggling to breathe as my eyes fall upon him. Edward's back is taut and tight. The hot, steamy water and leftover shampoo suds cascade down and around each and every roped and defined muscle, running deliciously over his plump, firm ass, slipping between his crack and sliding seductively down his toned thighs.

And although lust and want erupt within me, my brow still feels the need to frown worriedly. His stance and body language are just a little too stressed for my liking; his arms are strained and outstretched as his hands press firmly against the tiled wall.

But as my hungry eyes drink him in, I slip oh so softly towards him. Not wanting to startle him in any way, I lean gently against his broad back, letting my arm fold firmly around his lean waist and pulling him to me.

His wet, sudsy head falls back heavily upon my shoulder, and a deep, primal, wanton moan pours from his plump lips.

Wrapping him in me, I place soft, open-mouthed kisses across his outstretched neck and stubbly chin. I listen as he whimpers deliciously and takes a few deep content sighs.

Bringing his hand up placing it on the back of my head, pulling me tighter, his long fingers tangle playfully in my hair. With my palm placed firmly on his hip, my thumb painting lazy circles on its bone, my other glides smoothly up his tight abs, letting my fingers dance as they come in contact with his hardened nipple.

My chest heaves heavily, listening intently as his delicious groans vibrate off the tiled walls, bouncing back to join us. Swirling with the steam, it engulfs our dampened bodies. My eyes fall closed as I pull him tighter, and I'm taken back to younger years, when I could only hope and pray that it was not just the acoustics of the bathroom making my boy sound this way. But after years of wanting him, exploring him, loving him and worshiping every inch of him, I now know without a doubt its definitely me – and only me – that has this wonderful effect on this mans body.

And oh what a body! This man has.

He still has his slim build, broad shoulders, and firm toned legs that go on forever. And the fucked up hair that I love so much. Well! It's still in every way fucked up and just as red and unruly as it ever was. And yeah! You know it, he can still smile me that lazy, crooked morning smile that gets me every fucking time, and all I'm able to do is sigh and melt like a fucking school girl.

'Cause the boy, after all these years, still owns my ass, I tell ya! Just fucking owns it.'

We've been together eighteen wonderful years. Fuck! Eighteen years. That's longer than I lived before I met him! And now we're about to celebrate our twelfth wedding anniversary. And still to this day, he has the ability to make me crazy. Even at the ripe old age of thirty-four, the boy is beautiful, and from time to time, likes to drive me wild with his amazing mind and his fuckhot body. Hence the reason for me devilishly sneaking into the shower to join him.

I've set Branden and Blain, who are now five – 'Wow, five! Where does the fucking time go?' – up in the living room with their favorite DVD. It's an action movie, so I'm hoping to all that is holy that they won't kill each other trying out all the new stunts or, for that matter, destroy the living-room, which would really piss Edward off right now, and we can't be having that – well not before I get done spending some well-deserved time with him, that is.

'You do remember? Hey! Who could forget! How much of a selfish bastard I can be from time to time? It's nice to see some things haven't changed. Right?'

I'm taken aback as that, and all other coherent thoughts, leave me. As I feel his body squirm eagerly against mine, listening intently as he softly whimpers and wantonly moans, making my attention return to him and only him. Both his hands are behind my head now, pulling me tighter, pressing me to him, begging me for more. His firm ass rolls on my hardened dick as he groans deep and loud.

Instinctively bringing my hand up to cover his plump lips, I remind him silently that we have kids close by. 'I pray to all that is holy that they do not choose this very fucking moment for their nosiness and need to inquire about every God damn thing to kick in.' I hiss to myself as I feel him playfully bite down on my skin as he breathlessly begs into my palm

"Please Jasssssssper. Fuck! Please! It's been way too long. Please, babe."

Taking my hand away, releasing him slowly, I try to turn him, but I'm abruptly stopped. His long fingers grip desperately at my hair, tugging on my damp curls. Leaning his head back upon my shoulder once more, he whispers, "Don't fucking move, Jasper Hale-Cullen! I want you to fuck me, and fuck me hard! Babe! There's no time for mercy, please, just do it."

And you all damn well know where my thoughts immediately go. 'Fuck! Yeah! And it's not even Christmas or my birthday.'

Reaching for the lube on the shower shelf, I pump a few drops onto my awaiting fingers, spreading it quickly and nervously over my hand. 'Oh please, people! Don't be surprised. You know what this does to me. Don't tell me you've forgotten already. And in a sick little way, I know Edward remembers, the little mind-blowing fucker that he is.' Sliding my fingers between us, I let one sink slowly into his awaiting hole, and with that, he releases his hold on my hair and lets his weight fall heavily against the tiled wall, his head dropping with a slight thud on his folded arms.

Slipping another lean, shaky finger into him, I watch in awe as he bucks back forcefully, arching upwards and releasing a deep, throaty groan. And as goosebumps dance upon his alabaster skin, I let my hand take the journey from his hip up his spine, having it come to rest on his shoulder. Bracing myself against him, I finger fuck him fanatically, growing more excited with every slap of my palm when his ass pushes back to meet it.

His groans and moans fill the air as his eager pleas fill my ears. "Yes Jasper - Please Jasper - More Jasper." Roughly kicking his legs apart with my foot, I listen as his breath hitches anxiously in his throat. Smirking to myself gleefully, I excitedly ready myself at his entrance, impatient to fill the space my fingers will leave behind. And with one awesome ninja-stealth move, leaving Edward to wonder what the fuck hit him, not giving him a minute or chance to sense it coming, the thick head of my dick penetrates my boy's amenable body.

His head drops heavier as he lets his forehead hit the tile, bringing shaky hands up to each side of his face as he feels the need to brace himself. Smart boy! Gripping him a little tighter around the hips, I push in harder, listening as his delicious gravelly groans vibrate and bounce off the walls.

I push forward fast and pull back slow, letting the sensation of being buried deep inside him take me over. My heavy eyes follow the trail from where we are intimately connected over his firm, plump ass, along the slight curve of his hips, up his strong back and broad shoulders, coming to rest on the exquisite mop of copper hair pressed firmly against the shower wall. And as I watch his back expand with every deep and heavy breath he takes, I can't help myself. My primal need takes over. Reaching up, grabbing him roughly by the hair on the nape of his neck, I pull him towards me.

A gush of air leaves him as he strains to straighten himself, the force of my action not giving him time to steady or prepare, catching him a little off balance. As I feel him sway, I firmly fold my arm around him, pulling him to me, bringing him tighter, enabling me to burying my cock even deeper into his delectable heat, causing us both to growl in unison. "Fuck Yes!."

And as his back hits my heaving chest, his strong hands reach around, cupping my butt, his blunt nails digging into the supple flesh, causing me to hiss and bite down on his collarbone while I bury myself deeper. Silently begging my eyes to remain on him, I watch lustfully over his shoulder as his long, heavy cock sways and bounces with every thrust I make. His feet braced firmly on the floor, his thigh muscles quivering from the strain, heavy hearty pants leave his beautiful lips as I watch his abs and chest contract and expand each time I bury myself deep within his hole.

Quickly pumping a few more drops of the lube into my hand, I wrap my long fingers around his dancing cock, momentarily ceasing its movements. His heavy lids shoot open and his dark lust-filled eyes meet mine, and as I stroke downward, his lips part, releasing a soft drawn out groan. I catch his breath as I let my mouth attack his. Sucking frantically on his tongue, I pour all my needs and wants into this eager kiss, sucking his bottom lip biting it gently, listening as our grunts and groans echo off the walls, causing our bodies to vibrate and goose bump in response.

As my mouth travels, I gently suck on the soft skin of his throat, bringing my lips slowly to his ear. Taking the lobe roughly between my teeth, I demand sternly, "Sweetness, spread your fucking legs further, and I advise you to brace yourself against the wall, cause I'm about to fuck you into oblivion. I feel the need to make sure your ass doesn't forget that I've paid it a visit. Taday!"

And in an instant, I have his body thrown forward. His feet slap heavily on the wet floor and his taut, tight stance from earlier returns, as his hands make contact with the shower wall. And without blinking or giving it a second thought, I ride him like there's no tomorrow. My hand pumping his hard cock with every deep thrust I make, he's starting to pulse. I feel the beat on my palm as his eager ass slaps noisily against my braced thighs. The feeling hits my toes first, traveling excitedly up my legs as my orgasm tingles in my belly and balls. Leaning my weight across his back, I whisper seductively in his ear, "Edward, come for me. Babe! Come for me now!" And with that and a staggered hiss, he erupts, hot cum covering my fingers, his abs and the shower. And as he screams my name and prayers for saints and sinners alike, his hole tightens around my length, enabling me to join him in this moment of epic euphoria.

Trying desperately to straighten myself on shaky legs, I rub tender circles onto Edward's heaving back. Watching as he carefully uses his hands for leverage gradually climbing the shower's slippery surface, turning slowly, he faces me. And when his awe-filled heavy eyes meet mine, I attack his mouth with vigor, sucking on his tongue, breathing in his breath, doing my utmost to convey the passion and love I still hold dear for this man -this boy. He pulls away gently,as he moans lustfully into my mouth. He gently replies with a soft chuckle. "I love you too, babe."

And then we freeze! Both our breaths catch and we swallow hard, as we hear the small shy whisper, "Dads?"

Edward straightens quickly, releasing his hold on me. I eye him worriedly, kicking myself mentally for not remembering to lock the God damn bathroom door.

Reaching behind him, turning the cooling water off, Edward shakily questions. "Yes, Blain? Whats up, son? You guys okay?"

"I'm good, Dad. But I'm just telling ya that Branden stuck his grilling cheese in the movie maker. Again!"

Edward eyes me sternly as he mouths. "Grilled fucking cheese in the living room, Jasper? Really! Again!"

I eye him as innocently as I can possibly muster, taking a step toward him, my arms outstretched, feeling the need to hold him to me - or was it the need for self preservation wanting desperately to distract him so he wouldn't kick my sorry ass right now? But as I move closer, his hand falls flush with my chest, pushing me back, his angry gaze warning me off. Once again I mentally kick myself for not locking that fucking God damn bathroom door.

In a higher pitched voice, Edward answers our eagerly awaiting son. "Okay, Sweetie! Daddy will be right there to clean it up. Oh! And please inform your brother to stay put. He's not to move from where he is. You hear me? Blain? Mr Branden has some explaining to do."

I smirk to myself as Blain gleefully replies, "Sure will, Dad!" We listen intently, shivering silently as his little footsteps make their exit. Our breaths hitch one more time, sensing him come to a complete stop before making it to the door. Fuck! Wanting nothing more than to kick my own sorry ass thoroughly, I hear him quietly return, planting himself right in front of the God damn shower stall.

And with a small cough and a deep sigh, the questioning begins:

"Dads?'

Edward raises an eyebrow in my direction before answering. "Yes, son?"

Wait for it! ...Wait... for... it...!

"You guys okay?"

Bingo! And so the fuckery begins.

Edward eyes me warily. His lips tighten as he roughly pushes me further away from him.

"Yes, Blain! We're fine! Go back to the living room and wait with your brother. We'll be right there, sweetie."

Our eyes dart nervously around the shower stall, anxiously looking for something to cover us, but failing miserably, as we wait shivering patiently for Blain's reaction.

I hear another deep sigh. And I brace myself. "Dads?"

Fuck my life! Damn it to hell!

Edward pokes me in the chest with his pointer finger, taking me out of my head and bringing my attention to him as he mouths sternly, "Your turn, asshole! This is all your fault! Couldn't just let me take a five minute shower alone. could ya? The horny teenage you! Was unable to wait until tonight when the kids would be sleeping! Jassssper."

And so the fuckery continues!

I eye him cockily, giving him my best 'Yeah right!' glare, as I mouth back, slightly hissing under my breath, "Oh yeah, all my fault! Didn't hear you complain five minutes ago, Mister! When your ass was eagerly riding my dick. Now, did I, Edwwwwward?"

We're brought back to reality again, when Blain inquires further, "You sure you're okay? Are you hurted? Should I call 911? I know how to does that now! Ya know?"

I start to chuckle, my reaction getting a well deserved slap on the arm from Edward, though I can't help smiling to myself as my heart swells for our poor little worried, over-thinking boy.

Coughing back another chuckle, I answer him, "No, baby, we're fine. No need to call 911. And yes, we know you can do that, sweetie, cause you're very smart. But that won't be necessary. Now run along, Blain; we'll be right there to help in a second."

"But Dadssssss...?"

Edward's eyes darken and his voice begins to raise. "But nothing, Blain! Run along, son."

"Bu? But? But Dads? I hearded scary noises, finking you were hurted."

Covering my husband's mouth with my fingers before he hits the roof, I calmly answer Edward's little clone. "We are not hurt, baby. Dads were just wrestling, having some fun. Give us a minute to get dried off, sweetheart, and we'll be right out to help with Branden."

And with a satisfied sigh, he hurriedly exits the bathroom, yelling at the top of his lungs as he goes. "Branden, you are so deaded. Dads is so mad at you, mister! You have to stay put, Branden, cause Dad saided you got some plaining to do."

We both look at each other bewildered and confused as we hear Branden's replay.

"Naha! No way! Blain! You ratted? Son of a...! So not fair! Bro!"

Opening the shower door, I pop my head out, eagerly glancing from side to side, checking if the coast was clear. Then grabbing the towels from the heating rack, I hand one to a goose bumped, shivering Edward, who grabs it from me – 'Quite sternly, if you ask me.' – before stepping out of the stall.

And as we dry off quickly, he inquires, "Was our son just about to call us bitches? And what the hell's with this Bro crap all of a sudden?" I shrug my shoulders in his direction before answering, "Too much time with Uncle Emmett, I guess!"

And as we both enter the bedroom, Edward shoots me a look. Raising an eyebrow, he whispers, "Remind me to have a little word with good old Uncle Emmett later. Will ya?" Nodding my head in agreement, I head for the closet, yelling over my shoulder, "Will do!.Bro!"

And fuck me if I didn't see it coming! The bed pillow hit me smack damn in the center of my back, causing me to stumble forward as our laughter now fills the room. Both of us try to dress with knowing, smirky smiles upon our faces.

Heading to the living-room with Edward still mumbling under his breath about the fucking 'grilling cheese, Uncle Emmett, and our sons' lack of vocabulary,' I'm the one to hear it first. A small, delicate whimper hits my ears, and I stop suddenly.

Edward eyes me wearily, his exhausted facial expression telling me he hears it too. But the poor guy was up all night with said whimper, and I'm assuming after the shower incident, his patience is running a bit thin right now.

I nod in understanding, and give him a small smile, silently letting him know I'll take care of it, as he heads off in the direction of Branden and Blain and the now oh-so-sick 'movie maker.'

Pushing the door open, gently giving my eyes time to adjust to the darkened room, I glance towards the crib. And there, braced against the rails, little white knuckles gripping on for dear life in all her pink nightgown glory, is the cause of said whimper, our youngest, Lily.

Her strawberry blond hair is in disarray, and her sleep-filled, dampened blue eyes indicate how exhausted she, like her poor father, really is. But still when she sees me, and recognition crosses her face, she smiles the widest, brightest, crooked grin ever, taking my breath away and stealing my heart, for at this moment, as I gaze upon our beautiful daughter, I see no one but my just as equally beautiful husband smiling back at me.

I approach the crib softly, causing her to bounce on her heels eagerly, hands raised and chubby little fingers outstretched. Picking her up, squeezing her tightly to my chest, I breathe her in, and the faint scent of baby power and lilac shampoo invade my senses. Pressing her pouty little cherry lips to my neck, she whispers, "Da Da." 'And yes you know it, people,' once again, I fucking melt.

Lily will be celebrating her first birthday soon. Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose, have taken the reins on this one. 'Cause you all know by now, this is not our kid,' and they're not trusting her Fathers with any arrangements for a party fit for their little princess.

It's being held upstate, at Mrs. Sweeney's bed and breakfast, the plan being we all stay for the weekend. Sally gushes with love and pride as she practically begs us to spend some time with her and Mr. Sweeney. Eagerly explaining her plans, she wants nothing but the best for her honorary Godchild's first party.

I'm hearing rumors of ponies, clowns and shocking pink streamers, causing me to have scary visions of princess tiaras and tea parties dancing around in my head, making me wonder if there's a doctor's note that would excuse me from attending such a fuckery. But I'm sorry to say there's not. 'Cause believe me, I've checked.'

Changing and straighting Lily the best I can, we head for the living room and the stern voice of Edward. Lily's brow frowns and her Cupid lips tighten when she hears him preach at her brothers, something to do with responsibilities and the cost of the poor 'movie maker.' But when he hears our approach, his attention turns from the boys to us, and the wide, crooked smile on his face tells all. He jumps to his feet eagerly, heading in our direction, and with a mirrored grin and chubby fingers outstretched, Edward gets his very own morning welcome as Lily once again screams in glee: "Da Da!" causing his fatigue from his late night to become nothing but a distant memory.

Handing her over, I catch myself smirking, watching in amusement as Branden and Blain take a deep sigh of relief, knowing their baby sister has once again saved their sorry asses for the umpteenth time this year. And as Edward and Lily set off for the kitchen in search of breakfast, I get to work cleaning up the mess they've made in the living room, sternly instructing the boys to pitch in and help pick up, reminding them that they have a party to attend this afternoon, and the quicker we get this done, the quicker we get to said party. Giving the room a once over, I think to myself, Who the fuck am I kidding? as sticky grilled cheese, sofa cushions, plastic guns and rubber swords lay haphazardly across the floor.

While Edward takes care of Lily's needs, I tend to the boys. Believe me, people! I'd swap that job with Edward any day. I don't care how in touch with my feminine side I'd have to get, I'd do anything not to have to deal with the boys dressing routine sometimes. And Edward, the little fucker that he is, knows it, and conveniently uses it as a bribe or bartering tool with me from time to time.

'He's lucky I fucking love him to death. Asshole!'

Lily is easy – pick a dress, pick some shoes and we're done. But the boys! Oh my God damn gravy. Between Blain and his Edward tendencies, having to have everything match and always look his best – 'Causing me to have nightmares of the little shit hanging his jeans on hangers just like his father.' – to Branden and his fucking black skull and crossbones t-shirt, demanding that he gets to wear it with every fucking thing and to every fucking occasion.

Edward and I have waited patiently, sometimes late into the night, till he's fast asleep, and practically had to peel it thread by thread from his comatose body, just to get the God damn thing washed. Yet another fucking thing to thank good old Uncle Emmett for. I swear! The man has got to have a death wish or something. But believe me when I say, "Paybacks are a fucking bitch." 'Emmett's days are numbered, people. Just wait till Christmas when his son Chase opens a brand new shiny set of fucking drums, courtesy of good old Uncle Jasper.'

It's nearly noon before we finally head out, loading up the SUV and getting everyone securely seat belted into their proper places and positions in the truck. Long gone are the days when we could take a quick shower and run out the door.

As I drive in the direction of Edward's parents', I steal glances in the rear-view mirror, watching with pride and love as Brandon and Blain play together with their army men, and Lily quietly watches her favorite DVD. Shifting my eyes towards Edward, I watch momentarily as his copper hair lays heavy against the headrest and tired lids fall softy upon his high cheekbone. My boy's exhausted! Working shifts at the hospital and raising three kids will do that to ya.

'But as I've said numerous times before, 'The boys a trooper, a fucking trooper, I tell ya!'

My thoughts fondly wander to good old Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose, and how amazing this beautiful couple has been to me and my family. They've been married nearly five years now, and have two kids of their own, a set of twins, daughter Charlotte Marie and son Chase. And I've truly never seen my sister so God damn happy. Emmett worships the ground she walks on, and still waits on her hand and foot. And although at times she feels the need to abuse it, she returns his love tenfold.

Not long after having their twins, who will be four soon, they approached us with the offer to have another child. Rose and Emmett both stated that their family was now complete, and they were wondering if we were still interested. To say that Edward and I jumped at the chance would be an understatement, feeling the need to add one more rugrat to our little gang. And within a year and a little needed contribution from Edward, Lily Anne Hale-Cullen arrived, and we have never looked back.

Upon arrival at the Cullens', we quickly unload the car and get the gang in order, heading for the back yard. Its Alice and Riley's daughter Sue's tenth birthday, and my in-laws are hosting a family barbecue for the big day. So with Blain proudly carrying the gift, Lily wrapped in Edward's arms and Branden riding on my shoulders, we head in the direction of the Cullens' other grandchildren's laughter.

Edward's Mom is the first to greet us, with Riley Jr. in tow, beaming brightly as her eyes fall upon her grandchildren. She fondly smiles at a puffy-chested, bright-eyed, smiling Blain, as he stands proudly presenting her his gift offering and their homemade cards.

Bending down to his level, she explains happily that it is not her birthday, but his cousin Sue's, and she will gladly take him in the direction of the gift table. And as Blain makes his exit, he feels the need to cockily look over his shoulder just so he can stick his little pink tongue out at his brother, squinting his eyes narrowly, then nervously darting in our direction, as Edward sternly corrects him for his bold action, granting him his full title.

"Blain Carlisle Hale-Cullen. Behave, young man! Or your sorry butt will be spending the rest of this party in the back seat of the car. Do you hear me? Is that what you want? Huh?"

And with a shy smile and a shake of his head, squeezing granny E's hand just a little bit tighter - for safety reasons, I'm sure! - he skips off in the direction of the table.

As I reach up, catching Branden under the armpits and lifting him up and over my head, I hear the loud approach. I start to chuckle amusingly, knowing what's about to come next. "BRO!" Turning, I watch in awe as the monstrosity we call Emmett comes barreling towards us, carrying - if that's what you can call it. - young Chase under his arm like a bag of potatoes, his poor little head bouncing with every step, briefly reminding me of one of Lily's rag dolls.

It makes me think worriedly to myself, If Emmett keeps that shit up, the kid's going have brain damage or something. Poor Chase's brain will probably look like he has shaken baby syndrome by the time his father gets through with him.

When he makes it in front of me, I'm pulled in with his free arm for a tight bear hug. Bending swiftly, he addresses Branden. "YO LITTLE BRO! HOWS IT HANGING? LONGGGGGG I HOPE."

I pat Branden on the head, trying desperately to even out his unruly curls, and maybe offer some well needed reassurance, as he looks up all flush-faced and confused. I roll my eyes, giving him my best 'I have no fucking clue what Uncle Emmett's talkin about' face.

But as my son's eyes meet mine, I see the question about to leave his lips, and my brain starts scrambling, trying desperately to come up with a good answer to the fuckery Emmett has now created. His tiny fat fingers find the hem of my shirt, pulling me down towards him like he's about to whisper, making me smile to myself, cause I know God damn well he won't, cause he can't! Cause like me, he sucks at it.

"What needs to be long, Dad? I didn't know. I swear! Am I posed to know? Do I need somefing long? You didn't tell me, Dad! What is it, Dad? Tell me now!"

In that instant, wondering to myself, How the hell did Edward and I get stuck with two overly curious, always thinking boys! I will never know. Karma's a bitch sometimes. Yeah, I know!'

I hear my father-in-law chuckle, and I shoot the bastard a stern look. Carlisle's eyes sparkle with mirth, but his chest heaves in pride as he watches his son-in-law and grandson interact. But when he notices my oh-so-un-amused look, he coughs into his fist and turns, walking away quickly and awkwardly in the opposite direction.

Calling out for his wife, he seems to be pretending she forgot something for the party -like Esme Cullen, the perfectionist, would ever forget a fucking thing. His shoulders are unable to cease their dancing motion as he not-so-silently finds amusement in my now parental discomfort.

My eyes dart between Branden's forest greens, the beautiful sight making me momentarily lose focus, as I frenziedly try to come up with a good enough answer for my curious son. Desperately trying to find the grown up words, wanting him to understand that we, as parents, need him to always respect his elders and listen, but that sometimes Uncle Emmett doesn't count, and to pay him no mind, as we all know he can be a stupid fucker from time to time.

But I'm happily saved by the bell, as I hear Edward's stern tone summon a now shocked looking Emmett. "Emmett Dale McCarty! We need to talk! Bro?"

Emmett looks nervously down at Branden and me questioningly, and once again I find myself having to use my best 'I have no idea what he's talking about' look, right back at him.

He bends, placing his hands on his knees as he whispers to Branden, "Should I be worried, little bro?"

Branden nods his head frantically, before replying, "Yeah-ha! Uncle Emmett, you gots your whole name. Be fraid! Be very fraid!"

And without a second glance, Emmett heads off hurriedly in search of Rose. Please! Like she's going to help his sorry ass. Knowing my sister, she'll hold Emmett down and let Edward have his way, maybe even assisting in the beat-down, without a question on why it's being given.

'Poor Emmett... Not!'

With his attention now diverted, an oblivious Braden runs off to play with Riley Jr., and most likely in search of his long lost brother. I make my way across the yard, meeting up with my father in-law as he works the grill, happily flipping burgers and spinning hot dogs, singing gleefully to himself.

He offers me a sideways glance, and when his overly amused stare meets mine, I do my best to forge disgust with the raise of an eyebrow and a tight lip, the look on both our faces causing us to laugh heartily at one another.

Leaning into me, playfully pushing my shoulder with his, he inquires, "How did Brendan take the… mmmmm… long news?"

I laugh again before answering, "Didn't have to say a word. Edward saved my hide as usual, him so desperately needing to speak to good old Uncle Emmett. And good old Uncle Emmett so desperately feeling the need to run like a girl from him"

He raises his own questioning eyebrow in my direction, and so as not to keep him waiting, I answer quickly, "Don't ask! Long story! But! If you really need to know, I'll give you the condensed version. Edward's getting picky and worried about the boys' vocabulary, or lack thereof, should I say? And he feels the need to blame most of it, if not all, on them spending way to much time with Uncle Emmett."

And as Carlisle flips another burger, he laughs as he speaks. "Looks like I have to remind Edward about his vocabulary, or lack thereof at your sons' age. And there was no good old Uncle Emmett around to blame back then… Believe you me, Jasper! Your husband did not always speak like he had just swallowed the English dictionary. Oh no, sir! Sometimes I even thought he was a genius, able to speak a foreign language. Until one day, Esme took it upon herself to bust my parental bubble and point out to me what the poor boy was really trying to say. Needless to say, my genius theory was quickly nipped in the bud, and my dreams of an early enrollment at Harvard, or even Yale, were shot to shit, so to speak!"

Winking playfully, he wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me tighter, chuckling to himself as he continues. "It's all good, Jasper. No need to worry, your boys will do just great."

Leaning into him, I answer. "I know, Dad, I know! But you know Edward, and what he can be like about these things. I'm just hoping it doesn't push him over the edge in the meantime. You know how he can get sometimes!"

Pulling back, he places his hand on my shoulder, looking me straight in the eyes he quietly explains, "Jasper, Son! Stop your worrying, Edward will be fine! You will be fine! And most of all, your little family will be fine! You guys are an amazing couple and great parents! You draw on each other's strengths like nothing I've even seen before! Look how far you've come. Since that... well? You know... that... What is it you like to call it? That fuckery? With you know who? Well anyway, Jasper, you are both strong men who stop at nothing and always stick by their convictions, no matter what. And because of that, you will be fine!"

Then cocking his eyebrow, he continues, "So help your husband get his head out of his ass, so he can see that. Will you? And remind him from time to time, if need be, that he was a kid once himself."

Nodding with a smile, I bring him to me for a hug. And with a deep fatherly sigh, he slowly turns, proceeding happily to prepare the burgers and hot dogs.

And as I silently keep him company, my fondness grows even more than I could ever imagine, for my father figure, my father-in-law, my dad.

I smile understandingly for the man behind the grill, for this is one of Carlisle Cullens' favorite pastimes, having his children and grandchildren in the same place at the same time. We don't get to do it as often these days, each of us having obligations and commitments, but when we do, it's always oh so worthwhile and fun-filled.

Carlisle and Esme, the saints that they are, have gone so far as to take Rose and Emmett under their wings. Always knowing that Rose and I had a useless, clueless, fucktard as a father, and then poor Emmett losing his own wonderful dad, a year back to cancer.

I'm pulled from my melancholy mushing when I hear Lily giggle. The light sound of her laughter rings in my ears as my eager eyes search the yard, releasing a deep sigh when they fall upon them as they head in my direction. I watch with admiration as a bent at the waist Edward waddles towards me with a bouncing Lily between his long legs, her arms above her head, stretching desperately to reach him, her chubby hands griping his pointer fingers as he slowly and clumsily sways from side to side with every little baby step she takes.

Needing to judge his distance and not lose his footing, Edward pops his head up, and when he does, his awestruck gaze meets mine and he smiles that lazy, wide crooked smile. I watch amusedly as it's mirrored beneath him from our overly excited and somewhat overly eager daughter, feeling my heart leap proudly in my chest as I return their grins and joy tenfold.

Kneeling in the grass, I stretch my arms towards them, smiling brightly while softly chanting her name over and over, frantically wiggling my fingers in encouragement, inviting Lily to me. I watch nervously as Edward somewhat reluctantly lets go of Lily's death grip, but still feels the need to hover over her and stay close, like the mother hen that he can sometimes be. And as he releases her his hands, trembling at his sides, our beautiful, wonderful genius - 'Yeah! You heard me people! Fucking genius!' - of a daughter, takes her first four shaky steps into my awaiting arms.

My pride and love for her forces me to squeeze her to me maybe just a little too tight, as she gleefully squeaks out a joyous "Da Da-Da Da" onto my neck, and her fat fingers tangle playfully in my curls. My eyes raise to Edward as he stands dumbfounded and astonished with his hand on his chest and his fingers dragging through his hair. Meeting my damp gaze, he mouths quietly, "She did it, babe! She finally did it!"

And feeling like he needed it confirmed, I mouthed proudly back, "Yes she did, sweetness, yes she damn well did!"

I hear happy cheers and tiny claps, watching over Lily's shoulder as Branden and Blain run across the lawn excitedly to join Edward, Blain coming to an abrupt stop, holding back, then grabbing Edward's thigh.

Edward's hand and long fingers greeti our shy son with a tussle of his blond hair and a wicked grin. But Branden, on the other hand, heads straight for us, making a bee line for Lily and me. And as he's running, he's clapping and chanting, smiling brightly at his little sister, the sound of Blain's giggling encouragement egging him forward.

I feel Lily pull away as she hears her big brother approach. Her face brightens and her chubby cheeks swell with pride as she turns shakily to greet him, her little hands smacking frantically in claps the closer Branden gets. And as he pulls up in front of her, he steadies himself. Bending, he wraps his tiny arms around her waist, pulling her up into the air with him, swinging her around as her little legs kick with joy. They dance in circles, the sight making me dizzy, and as their laughter fills the yard, Lily lets her head fall back playfully, and she heartily giggles out. "Be.. Be..!"

And he freezes! Staring at each other in amused wonderment, A confused Lily gently cups Branden's face in her little hands and softly chants "Be..Be?"

Placing her softly on the grass, he stares at me in amazement. And with a knowing smile and a puffy proud chest, he excitedly announces, "She saided my name! Lily saided my name, Dads! Right?"

I think I nodded. I'm pretty sure I nodded, I'm so in fucking shock and overwhelmed that maybe I only imagined that I nodded my response. But as Carlisle and Esme approach, Branden repeats his statement, confirming what we all needed to know. "Grandpa! Grandma! Lily saided my name!"

I stand shakily, overwhelmed and consumed with excitement, leaving Branden and my in-laws to fuss over our amazing little genius. I find my way to my still somewhat astonished husband, joining him and Blain on the sidelines as our eyes dart from face to face, absorbing and rejoicing in all their happy, proud expressions, feeling more like spectators at a tennis match rather than the proud parents of said genius. And as I pull up to his side, leaning heavily into him, he places his arm gently around my waist, tucking his long fingers snugly into the back pocket of my jeans, sighing contentedly as his head hits my shoulder.

The rest of the day passes quickly and haze-like, as the family fusses and gathers around Lily and her new accomplishments, everyone beaming and praising, drowning her in their love and pride, her overly excited and proud brother presenting her to each and every relative, demanding that she repeat his name over and over.

Lily's eyes search for us from time to time, begging to be rescued, only getting peace when Edward puts his foot down, stating that the poor girl needed nourishment to keep her strength up if Branden was going to turn her into his personal pet project.

Later that night, as I stand by the bonfire, Lily's lazy head on my shoulder, talking and sharing a beer with Riley, the sound of light music and the others' laughter and conversations ringing in my ears, I feel Edward press himself gently against my back, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing the side of my neck.

As his heavy head comes to rest on my other shoulder, he speaks quietly, "I think it's time we got our crew on the road, don't ya think, babe? It's a little past everyone's bedtime, including ours."

Swallowing the rest of my beer and glancing at my watch, I nod my head, eagerly agreeing.

After kissing the family goodnight and making plans for lunches dinners and play dates, we load up the trunk once more and head for home.

In the quiet, peaceful car, I watch in the rear-view mirror as a happy Lily and proud Branden sleep soundly. But my brow frowns as my eyes fall upon a somewhat upset looking Blain, sadly gazing out the side window. Knowing Blain's overly thinking Edward-like tendencies and his need to live in his head, I proceed to gently drag the reason for his unhappy look from him.

"Blain?"

Nothing.

"Blain, son?"

Still nothing.

"Blainnnnnnnnn!"

Bingo, I got him.

I smirk to myself as I come to realize just how alike Edward and Blain really are.

His eyes wander to me and as his deep forest greens meet mine, stealing my breath. He does his very best to give me a small smile, then sadly returns his attention back once more to the dark view beyond the window.

So me being me, unable to leave well enough alone and being the nosy bastard that I am, I continue with my questioning. "Blain, you okay! Son? Didn't you have a good time tonight? Are you not feeling well? Is your tummy upset, buddy?" I hope to all that is holy that giving him multiple choice would at least get me an answer to one.

Sighing deeply once more, he finds my gaze in the rear-view mirror before answering in a soft tone. "I'm good, Dad. The party was the funnest, and my belly's good."

Frowning again, I inquire. "Then why the long face, buddy? If you had such a great time, why do you look so sad?'

And in a quiet whisper, he answers, "She didn't said it."

Glancing quickly behind me before letting my eyes find the road again, I quickly question,

"Who? Huh? What?" Then realizing who I was talking to, I changed my tactic. "Who, sweetie? What wasn't said?"

And as I patiently wait while my overly thinking boy's wheels turn frantically in his pretty little head, he continues.

"Lil saided Branden's, but not mine."

And bingo we have our answer. God, I'm a fucking genius! Father of the year, I am!

And as we turn onto our street, with only a few houses to go, I do my best to comfort our distraught boy.

"Awww, babe! Just cause she didn't say it, doesn't mean she wasn't thinking it. How about tomorrow, you, Lily and I have some playtime? And maybe you, as a big brother, can teach your baby sissy how to say that beautiful name of yours."

His eyes grow excited as he questions, "Can we? Really, Dads?'

"Sure can, buddy! First thing tomorrow, we'll work on it. Okay?"

And as I pull into the driveway, he asks sleepily, "Dads?"

"Yes, Blain?"

"Can we does it in the park tamarraw?"

And as I cut the engine and his head falls heavily to the side, I whisper, "Yes, Blain, the park it is."

When I open the car door, Edward slowly awakes, enabling him to help me bring the little ones into the house. As he grabs Lily, I'm able to lift the boys, Branden in one arm and Blain in the other. Putting them to bed as swiftly and quietly as possible, both of us decide not to fight with our son and his heavily tired body, allowing him to sleep soundly in his beloved skull and cross-bone t-shirt.

Entering our bedroom, I watch as an overly exhausted Edward drops onto the corner of the bed, trying desperately to remove his shoes and socks, but to no avail. Quickly kneeling in front of him, kissing the top of his copper fucked up head, I push him back softly, silently informing him not to worry, just to relax, cause as we all know 'I got this.'

And as his back hits the bed with a thud, I proceed to undress my sexy-as-all-get-out, hot-as-all-hell husband. But believe me, it doesn't go unnoticed, that with every piece of clothing I remove, the deeper and more wanton his sleepy moans become, and the more goose-bumped his now flushed skin gets. Deciding reluctantly to just leave him in his underwear, I reach for the covers, needing to pull them back so I can slip him under.

But when I make my move, I feel his warm, lean fingers crawl under my t-shirt and across my back, bringing my chest flush with his. His lips find mine, and a hot, passionate kiss erupts, my dick suddenly sensing when the sleepiness leaves him, as he presses his own overly hard cock against it, making us both release a deep, hearty groan. I lean back, meeting his gaze, silently questioning. And without a word, just his deep forest greens stare transfixed on me, his hands find their way up the back of my neck and into my hair, pulling me tighter to his face as his lips find mine, he moans wantonly into my mouth.

Wrapping his legs around my waist and breaking our kiss, his fingers find the hem of my shirt as he roughly strips it from my body. Squeezing me tighter, pushing himself upon me, grinding himself hard, he causes my own eager cock to fight frantically, wanting to be released from its jean-clad confines. Reaching between us, I struggle to help him in his endeavor, but I'm taken aback, feeling the slight sting from the slap before realizing its origin. I stare at Edward sternly, but melt as I watch him bite and suck on his bottom lip shyly. Fuck ! This boy's going to be the death of me one day. Grinning, he kisses my chin, hungrily licking at my stubble before sucking softly on my lip, taking it between his teeth and biting gently.

Seductively, he whispers into my mouth, "Let me take care of you tonight, Jasper." Pulling back quickly. I smile as he winks playfully, bringing me to him. Pressing his mouth to my throat, his breath damp and warm, he continues softly, "Don't worry, babe! I got this!"

And suddenly, without fucking warning, I'm flipped. The fucker has me on my back, his strong long legs straddling my hips, squeezing tightly as he proceeds to grind his length roughly with mine. And as the air leaves me and the anticipation grows, making my skin flush, his hands find my hair again. His fingers pull and tug, entwining and combing with every lust-filled move he makes.

He's chanting my name and singing my praises, as his damp breath seduces my skin, making me beg him for more, causing me to whimper like a fucking child as he mercilessly works my body like only a person with so many years' experience exploring it could.

Grabbing the back of his neck, sucking his mouth eagerly, I'm stealing his breath as my fingers drag and twist through his own fucked up copper locks. My breath hitches as I feel his hand slip between us, and I heave a sigh of relief as his fingers work my button and zipper. I try to help, I try to be of assistance, but Edward's having none of it. All the while, his hands and fingers bump and shove me out of his way.

Feeling the need and urge to do something before I fucking explode, I grab his ass, the supple flesh and cotton briefs bending under the manipulations of my fingertips. Wrapping myself tighter, I drag him to me, the sensation making my head fall back, pressing it hard against the mattress as a deep, thick groan vibrates from my body.

I feel as he slips from my grip, his lean torso making the journey between my legs. Slipping smoothly down the contours of my chest, his body weight enables his knees to hit the floor with a soft thud, as his lips, teeth and tongue suck, lick and slurp along every muscle they come in-contact with. He bites roughly as he kisses and licks gently. I can't help myself, and God knows I'm not a fucking patient man, eagerly and shamelessly letting my body buck frantically onto him, craving friction, wanting more.

Leaning back on his heels, he eyes me longingly. His stare causes my heart to race and my breathing to hitch. He's deliciously flushed and goose-bumped, his chest heaves heavily as the palms of his hands rub broad and calming circles into my tense thighs. I watch in awe as dampened hair now falls seductively across his dark, lust-filled eyes.

I feel my belly contract and tighten when his lean, warm fingers catch the waistband of my jeans, jerking roughly, and in one fast-as-all-fuck move, he releases my dick, stripping me - and it - from its cramped detainment. As he ogles me lustfully, he smirks playfully to himself, and my eager as all fuck cock springs to life. Bending quickly, he sucks its heavy head between his moist lips, drawing it in, holding it firm in the back of his throat. My fingers once more find his hair, yanking fervently, pressing and pulling him closer, letting his name leave me in a gasping hush, as I beg him and all that is holy never to stop.

But guess what the fucker does? He stops!

My head shoots off the bed, desperately seeking his eyes, meeting him with a not so happy and very fucking stern look. And all the fucker does is smirk. 'Believe me, people, if I wasn't so fucking horny right this second, and needed this beautiful man's mouth around my cock, I'd kick his sorry ass from here to next Sunday.' But the fucker knows I need him, and the fucker knows without a doubt that I want this, so what does said fucker do? He just keeps on smirking. Fucker!

So I question him as lovingly as I can possibly muster, under the circumstances. "What the fuck, Edward?"

And as he drags his hot, heavy tongue from the base of my cock to its tip, his forest greens and shit eating grin never leaving my gaze, he answers, "Patience, babe. You really need to learn patience."

And as my eyes narrow, and my lips tighten at the cocky little fucker between my legs, I answer his sorry, but cute, ass determinedly. "Patience, Edward! Really? Patience? I'll give you fucking patience, mister! If you don't let my cock fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, right this instant, before I literally burst, your ass is going to pay! And dearly, may I add! Cause if you think I showed you no mercy this morning in the shower, then you better think again! Long and hard, mister! Long and hard!"

All the while I'm scolding and staring, his tongue keeps lapping at the tip of my dick, circling the head every now and then, dipping into the slit, causing me to stammer, making it hard to breathe or concentrate, and all the little fucker does is smile wide and cheesy. And just as I'm about to give him another well deserved what for, he sinks my cock into the damp warm cave I've fondly come to know as heaven.

Pushing on his feet, finding leverage, he backs me further up the bed, only stopping when my head hits the pillow, and the fucking genius that he is, keeps my cock firmly between his glorious lips the whole time. 'Fucking genius.' And as I watch intently, his copper mop bobs deliciously on my straining dick, his hands grip my thighs, lifting and bringing them over his shoulders, letting them rest there. And with one eager scooch closer, my boy goes to town, sucking and slurping, sinking deeper onto me, not stopping until his nose meets my groin.

Coming closer, folding me somewhat, he reaches for the drawer, taking a deep breath as I hear the pump from the lube bottle as he thoroughly coats his fingers. A broad smile crosses my face at the thought off my overly thoughtful, overly cautious, still sometimes nervous at taking the reins boy. But when his cool fingers find my entrance, my sheepish smile is replaced with slightly tight puckered lips.

Reminding myself to breathe, I whisper into the thick humid bedroom air, "Oh please, Edward! Fuck! Yes! Please."

And without skipping a beat or faltering a moment, he enters my awaiting heat flawlessly.

I'm drowning in the sensation of his fingers and mouth taking and claiming, as his pumping digits stretch and ready me. Feeling my belly grow tight and my thighs begin to quiver as he does his fucking deadest to pull my orgasm from me. My fingers and feet tingle, causing my toes to curl as my boy works his magic. I feel my thighs squeeze firmly, pressing my weight against his shoulders just a split second before I abruptly erupt into the beautiful awaiting mouth of my awesome kick ass husband.

Pulling back, wiping his mouth, he smiles devilishly.

Letting my legs slip from his shoulders, I wrap them around his waist, bringing him to me. Holding him close, I kiss his swollen mouth, groaning as the taste of my own essence lingers on his tongue.

Leaning back, smirking, he reaches once again for the nightstand. A few air pumps later, and two long, strong strokes of his eager cock, and the boy enters me painstakingly slow.

As he takes his time, his hands fold under me, his fingers coming up and over my shoulders, bracing himself. A deep gravelly groan leaves us both as his upper thighs meet my awaiting butt. I feel his lips on my throat and his hot breath coat my skin as he whispers his wants and love into my ear. I pull him tighter to me, trapping myself between us. I feel his hips quicken and his breath become uneven. I'm sensing he's near his end. He's on the edge. We both tremble as lust and love overwhelm and overtake us. And as once again my toes curl and my hole tightens, I hear my name breathlessly travel along my goose-bumped skin as my husband empties his hot orgasm into my body.

Slumped and spent, we take a few seconds to right ourselves before Edward rolls off me and to the side. Pulling back the covers, we both slip back into our underwear. Long gone are the days of sleeping wrapped in each other's nakedness 'That's the price you pay for having small children. Using this morning as an example, you never fucking know when one of the little buggers is going to show up.' Then like the magnets that we are, we find each other, tangling limbs, getting comfortable and content, as sleep and exhaustion drag us under. Edward whispers lovingly onto my chest. "Love you, Jasper. Always."

And as I give him a lazy, dreamy squeeze back, I return his sentiment, "Love you too, Edward. Forever."

It's early dawn when I wake groggily, the filtered light from the blinds causing my eyes to squint. Desperately wishing myself back to sleep, compelling myself back to slumber, and as I search for Edward's heat and comfort, I frown, confused, when 'mI meet with resistance. Blinking one eye open, trying to focus, I grin widely as I feel Branden's little arms wrapping tighter around my neck. Lifting him gently, I fold him into my side, chuckling softly as I listen happily to every disturbed groan and moan he makes.

Moving slightly to the center of the bed, so as to not have him drop accidentally of the side, I find myself, frowning once more, squinting again, shaking my head as I amusedly watch the tangled limbs of Blain wrap around Edward's chest. Pulling all four of us close, tucking the blankets up and over more securely, I once again encourage and urge myself back to sleep. But as I sigh contentedly and my smile broadens, the sandman comes a knocking.

I think happily to myself. Fuck! I love my life!


End file.
